This place is so depressing. (1591 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.12 on 73 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by netimportant (View user info) at 2008-08-03 10:08:45 EDT
But in a fascinating way. Like a car crash...you just can't help but stare and feel bad for the victims. Except you don't actually feel bad because you've never met them, you're just happy to have a distraction while you're sitting in traffic drinking your Starbucks soy latte and listening to Coldplay.
Hey Bart, how long are you going to let Ubersite go on until you come to a conclusion about your social experiment? I think you should do something better with your time, and I say that with the utmost concern for your well-being. I can think of a million better things I could be doing now. For example:
1. Cut my toenails
2. Play bocce
3. Transfer all the phone numbers in my old phone to my new phone
4. Clean the dust out of my fan
5. Move my laundry from the washer to the dryer
6. Defrag my hard drive
7. Look for a second job
8. Eat yogurt
9. Read a book about Action Script
10. Get my hair done
11. Go for a walk
12. Call Mom
13. Start my award-winning novel
14. Finish the website I started six months ago
15. Wash my face
16. Take vitamins
17. Paint my bedroom
18. Update my resume
19. Throw away the pizza from last night
20. Buy an antivirus program
21. Cook chicken and rice
22. Learn another language
23. Enroll in salsa classes
24. Play guitar
25. Lift weights
26. Build my portfolio
27. Dishes
28. Download music
29. Calculate a monthly budget
30. Pay parking tickets
31. Throw away worn-out clothes
32. Go through my stack of miscellaneous papers
33. Drink a protein shake
34. Pilates
35. Buy flowers for my roommates
36. Mop the floor
37. Decide where to live in nine months
38. Go on a breakfast date
39. Sell unwanted things on ebay
40. Go to the library
41. Learn how to help save the rainforests
42. Eat a burger
43. And more
I'm going to close my eyes and point to the screen, and whichever choice is closest I will do as soon as I'm done writing this post about what I should be doing instead of what I am doing.
Here's a giant picture of myself.
User Reviews
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-09-22 10:14:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For some reason you called me a "dumb bitch". That was hurtful and uncalled for; this is a serious writers forum and I will not tolerate such childish behavior on my posts.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-09-18 23:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I forgive you. I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover.
A damn good one.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-09-18 14:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was hard to make a hate post about you, so many people have hated you in so many different ways that I had to get creative.
Submitted by chitowngirl (user info) at 2008-08-09 22:26:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just printed this picture and added rays of sunshine to it. i love lisa THAT much to do that.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-08-07 06:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2008-08-05 08:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh I get it, you're 'in it but not of it' ... just like the rest of us. If you are naive enough to let an internet website depress you then then then then then -- maybe YOU are the one with the problem.
... and don't worry about Bart. He's (hopefully) added a couple decimal places to his bank account via UBERsite by now. So go ahead and DO one of your other forty ten things and stop projecting your depression out here.
It's like the bad TV show (turn it off) or awful movie (Why did you go? / Get up and leave) .. only worse. You know what this place is like with the apparent exception of many finely written short stories and commentaries... and yet you choose to keep coming back.
And yes, I understand that everything I just said applies to me too so don't even fucking bother.
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dude, you dont have a fucking clue.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-05 13:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It really is. I have a headache.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-08-05 13:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
=)
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2008-08-05 09:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2008-08-05 08:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh I get it, you're 'in it but not of it' ... just like the rest of us. If you are naive enough to let an internet website depress you then then then then then -- maybe YOU are the one with the problem.
... and don't worry about Bart. He's (hopefully) added a couple decimal places to his bank account via UBERsite by now. So go ahead and DO one of your other forty ten things and stop projecting your depression out here.
It's like the bad TV show (turn it off) or awful movie (Why did you go? / Get up and leave) .. only worse. You know what this place is like with the apparent exception of many finely written short stories and commentaries... and yet you choose to keep coming back.
And yes, I understand that everything I just said applies to me too so don't even fucking bother.
--------------------------------------
Money? From Ubersite? How the heck could he pull THAT off?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-08-05 09:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a dead baby raper and this post sucks.
...harsh.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2008-08-05 08:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh I get it, you're 'in it but not of it' ... just like the rest of us. If you are naive enough to let an internet website depress you then then then then then -- maybe YOU are the one with the problem.
... and don't worry about Bart. He's (hopefully) added a couple decimal places to his bank account via UBERsite by now. So go ahead and DO one of your other forty ten things and stop projecting your depression out here.
It's like the bad TV show (turn it off) or awful movie (Why did you go? / Get up and leave) .. only worse. You know what this place is like with the apparent exception of many finely written short stories and commentaries... and yet you choose to keep coming back.
And yes, I understand that everything I just said applies to me too so don't even fucking bother.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-05 05:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have the rooster, the hen, and the chicken. The rooster goes with the chicken... So who's having sex with the hen?
Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2008-08-05 04:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
23. Enroll in salsa classes
I enrolled in a salsa class once
but get this....they make you dance
instead of teaching you how to make salsa.
It was confusing at first.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-05 03:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i had sex dream about METHOD last night
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-08-05 02:32:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my internet was out today and I didnt know it. When I got on the computer I typed ubersite.com in the browser and it wouldn't bring me here. I remembered this post and thought that maybe Bart took your advice. I thought that was fantastic but then facebook wouldnt work either so I went to the batting cages.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2008-08-04 22:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-08-04 20:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-08-04 20:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The lighting came out that way in the photo, I didn't spend hours adding rays of sunshine all around my face. I don't love myself THAT much.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-08-04 20:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-04 10:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't get past this bit...
"drinking your Starbucks soy latte and listening to Coldplay." - You homosexual corporate cock-sucker.
I hope you spill your Clusterfucks soy shit in your lap, burn your cunt and crash your car into a schoolbus full of Jewish children, only to be arrested and charged with antisemetic hate crimes.
Fuck you and everything you stand for.
------
That's called dry humor, Einstein. I understand that you might not get it because it doesn't involve poop or farts.
And no, I don't need you to tell me I'm hot. I already know I am.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-08-04 13:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So yeah, why do we waste our time? What's up with that?
Deep, I know. I'm drunk.
Why do you post all the photos lately? Are you waiting for all of us to admit that you're hot?
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-04 10:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't get past this bit...
"drinking your Starbucks soy latte and listening to Coldplay." - You homosexual corporate cock-sucker.
I hope you spill your Clusterfucks soy shit in your lap, burn your cunt and crash your car into a schoolbus full of Jewish children, only to be arrested and charged with antisemetic hate crimes.
Fuck you and everything you stand for.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-04 10:44:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
just a simple question....is this effect from the photography or something you can do in Photoshop?
I wish I was a better photographer.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-08-04 10:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it is what you make of it.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-04 09:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
COULD YOU GUYS STOP DREAMING ABOUT ME?
I mean, I understand and all, but COME ON, it's getting ridiculous!
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-08-04 05:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
do you have any money, or the capacity to earn/inherit money?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-04 04:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-08-03 23:53:26 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
What a stupid post. Beautiful picture.
Don't worry, I had a sex dream about him too... stupid ubersite.
--------------
*AHEM*
I think you missed one of your sex dream participants out.
HEH
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-08-04 03:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still. Getting on ubersite sounds like a good way to ruin an otherwise fun time. Just sayin'
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-04 00:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-08-03 20:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
WHY are you all on your computers
-----
Why is not the question. How - that's the question. Wireless LAN allows us to be sitting at the patio table 8 feet or so from the grill/pool/whatever and still be online when not otherwise occupied. In fact right now it's past midnight and I'm still outside, typing wirelessly, next to the pool. Finished the flank steak I grilled for dinner a few hours ago, cleaned up, and came back outside for a glass of Glenfiddich Solara and the stars. MLW is asleep on a lounge chair near the fountain, smiling softly, with a colorful towel over her legs. XM Cafe plays and the coyotes and frogs keep time. All is right with the world.
Submitted by angrydrunk86 (user info) at 2008-08-03 23:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thats not a million liar. liar!!!!!!!!
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-08-03 21:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-08-03 10:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good lord. In this pic you look like a girl called Jess who I hooked up with while blackout and my only memory is of gagging on her vagina while i ate her out and making a really concerted effort not to vomit all over her genitals. Then she had the audacity to be miffed at me because i couldnt get a hard on. Seriously, between a vagina that takes like sour warheads mixed with catfood and half a gallon of port how much blood do you EXPECT me to divert to my penis.
Sorry, that was tangential.
---
victory.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-08-03 20:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's 95F and I'm drinking Margaritas, Mamasitas.
Cheers
==============
94F here, but nowhere near the humidity you have. Beers rotate from the fridge to the freezer to my face. Life is good.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's 95F and I'm drinking Margaritas, Mamasitas.
Cheers
-----
92F and cold draught beer by the pool for me. I'll jump in as soon as the shrimps are done grilling. It's the first sunny day in a week and you know I'm taking advantage of it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHY are you all on your computers
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-08-03 20:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
: )
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-08-03 20:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh rob...good to see that you're still alive..you big lovable retard
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-08-03 20:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-08-03 16:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate people
---
I'm sure most of them feel the same way about you.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-08-03 19:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You didn't list a million things. You fail.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-08-03 18:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What a stupid post. Beautiful picture.
Don't worry, I had a sex dream about him too... stupid ubersite.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-08-03 16:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate people
Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2008-08-03 16:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-03 15:50:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you realise that the logical conclusion to your new 'struggling under the weight of ennui' character is suicide?
Sure you'll go through other phases but this is the low attention span generation don't forget.
do us all a favour and go straight to the overdose.
k?
thx.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-08-03 15:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I alphabetised my dvd collection and decided to watch them all starting with A. Tonight 'The Doors' tomorrow 'Equilibrium'
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-03 15:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What a homely looking shovel face!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-03 15:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're right. This place *is* depressing.
You look like my Aunt June.
She's had open heart surgery 3 times.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-08-03 15:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy fuck someone introduce this woman to a cheeseburger.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:46:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-08-03 09:12:41 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good lord. In this pic you look like a girl called Jess who I hooked up with while blackout and my only memory is of gagging on her vagina while i ate her out and making a really concerted effort not to vomit all over her genitals. Then she had the audacity to be miffed at me because i couldnt get a hard on. Seriously, between a vagina that takes like sour warheads mixed with catfood and half a gallon of port how much blood do you EXPECT me to divert to my penis.
Sorry, that was tangential.
====
Hon, if your lady for the night's coochie smells and tastes like that, you're entitled to toss her back.
Plenty other fish in the sea. So to speak. o_0
Yet another tip from your Auntie Forensic.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"...you just can't help but stare and feel bad for the victims."
Well. You made that point.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:30:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-08-03 10:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good lord. In this pic you look like a girl called Jess who I hooked up with while blackout and my only memory is of gagging on her vagina while i ate her out and making a really concerted effort not to vomit all over her genitals. Then she had the audacity to be miffed at me because i couldnt get a hard on. Seriously, between a vagina that takes like sour warheads mixed with catfood and half a gallon of port how much blood do you EXPECT me to divert to my penis.
Sorry, that was tangential.
:-O
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:10:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hotlips, below.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
72 here and im drinking a cup of tea.
straight from the kettle into my mouth.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-03 14:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's 95F and I'm drinking Margaritas, Mamasitas.
Cheers
==============
94F here, but nowhere near the humidity you have. Beers rotate from the fridge to the freezer to my face. Life is good.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's 95F and I'm drinking Margaritas, Mamasitas.
Cheers
-----
92F and cold draught beer by the pool for me. I'll jump in as soon as the shrimps are done grilling. It's the first sunny day in a week and you know I'm taking advantage of it.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's 95F and I'm drinking Margaritas, Mamasitas.
Cheers
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm going to do 43 right now.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When they are about Ubersite they aren't dreams. Those are nightmares.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-03 13:04:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel sad that Michael Vaughan has quit. Not sad because its the wrong decision. Just Sad.
Collingwood has quit his captaincy too. Not so sad about that.
I really cant wait for the ashes now :(
Please don't let Pietersen be captain.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-08-03 12:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dreams about Ubersite, no less. I should kill myself.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-08-03 12:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Want to hear something lame? I had a sex dream about Method. Well, it was a dream that he was in and I was thinking about having sex with him.
I don't even get laid in my dreams.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-03 12:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's right, you slack-jawed wife beater, and don't you forget it
P.S. Nice armpit jelly, you fat bitch!
<3
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-03 12:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Back off, dude. Method is the arbiter of funny, and none other.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-03 12:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nearly almost-funny below.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-03 12:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
By the amount of beer you consume, Doodles.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-03 12:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You seem to change from ugly to pretty.
How is this magic acomplished?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-08-03 12:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you're pretty, sometimes, and this is one of those times.
Submitted by Brian_Johns (user info) at 2008-08-03 12:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You have a very hairy ear and should look into electrolysis.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-03 12:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
44. Keep trying to be a bigger whore than Method's Mom.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-08-03 11:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This place isn't depressing. It's just well boring much of the time. And if you're looking, I have a second job for you, honey. (That last bit was intended as sexual innuendo, but I don't think it came across very well. Just so you know. Yeah...I know...old people are gross. Grow a pair and live a little, sweetcheeks.) I finally saw Superbad. Funny.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-08-03 11:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Couldn't find the snl parody, but the real thing is almost as funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjVfu8-Wp6s
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-08-03 11:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought the "post your yearbook photo" bandwagon was over
Submitted by hsimah (user info) at 2008-08-03 10:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm picking dandruff from my head.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-03 10:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You can do both. I did four of those things this morning already, and now I'm here. And now, I have to go.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-08-03 10:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You don't throw away one day old pizza.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-03 10:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It appears that you love yourself almost as much as I love myself.
If that's not the recipe for some tremedously hot, random , no-strings-sex, I don't know what is.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-08-03 10:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
phallic just made me gag
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2008-08-03 10:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
irony...
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-08-03 10:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good lord. In this pic you look like a girl called Jess who I hooked up with while blackout and my only memory is of gagging on her vagina while i ate her out and making a really concerted effort not to vomit all over her genitals. Then she had the audacity to be miffed at me because i couldnt get a hard on. Seriously, between a vagina that takes like sour warheads mixed with catfood and half a gallon of port how much blood do you EXPECT me to divert to my penis.
Sorry, that was tangential.