I have had E-FUCKING-NOUGH (1330 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.01 on 62 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by OathMeal (View user info) at 2008-07-30 10:53:34 EDT
I swear to all that is holy...if another dirty fucking hippy approaches me with some witty line about needing a quarter to buy food for his dog I'm going to rage.
Fucking. Rage.
I rarely 'see red' anymore (except when unfunny faggots on Ubersite try to BE funny) since taking up a regimen of herbal relaxants (GABA, St. Johnson's Warts) and so it's a rare occasion for me to be truly miffed by anything.
But I'll be goddamned if these fucking hippies don't make it into my nastybox every hour on the hour.
If they're not pining for my spare change with shitty cardboard signs adorned with sharpie-d peace symbols, they're picking away at some piece of shit balsa-wood, out of tune guitar and infecting my earparts with their painful renditions of Willie Nelson or Keller Williams songs.
LAME.
And, when confronted, the typical hippy will REVEL in his/her affinity for all things dirty and useless.
I.E. hemp anything
I.E. tarot readings
I.E. massages (yea right like I'm going to pay you $5 to rub your pot resin-stained hands on my massive, sculpted back)
I.E. jokes (give you $.25 for a joke about dolphins? GET A GODDAMNED JOB)
I really do try to be sensitive to other cultures, Uber. Really I do. That's why I don't mind so much that Method is so incredibly bent on having as much bareback gay sex as he can because that's HIS THING.
But again, hippy beggars thinking they're actually contributing to society with glass bead jewelry and poetry need a goddamned reality check.
Me: "There are people out there who actually work for a living, do you know that Mr. Hippy?"
Hippy: "That's the SYSTEM! That's paying the MAN just so you can survive!"
Me: "Where do you think that conga drum you're holding came from?"
[Hippy flips it over and reads the 'made in Taiwan' sticker on the bottom]
Hippy: "..."
Me: "Taiwan. Someone had to assemble that in some factory somewhere. That person was actually paid money to do that."
Hippy: "The MAN!!"
I give up.
Just please. Keep your goddamned patchouli stink and dreadlocks somewhere only you and your tribe of deadheads can appreciate it.
In other news, I am such a fucking badass that my NIGHTMARES are afraid of ME.
User Reviews
Submitted by StarBelliedSneetch (user info) at 2009-04-22 02:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YEA FUCK ANYONE WHO IS DIFFERENT!
Submitted by Cacoo (user info) at 2009-04-22 02:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love this word "miffed"
sounds like a breed of cat
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-04-22 01:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I WUV OATHMEAL
Submitted by PoeticSoul (user info) at 2008-08-10 15:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NewGuy08 (user info) at 2008-08-03 04:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-07-31 15:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Peace man.
Hippies are cool and you......
you come here to whine. WiNNAH!!
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-31 10:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
At least you're not in the UK.
We give our "workless" people money and homes paid for by the workers, half of whom can't afford to live life like the workless.
They don't need to beg over here, they're too busy watching their widescreen TV's in their council flats.
Only the smack heads beg over here and you know there's only one thing they'll be buying!
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-07-31 10:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Quit crying you fatt piece of anal waste.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2008-07-31 07:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAH@SEE LEVEL
IS THAT ANYTHING LIKE SEE SALT OR SEE URCHINS?
------
See THIS bit is funny because YOU spelled St Johns Wort wrong.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-07-30 22:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this post was great
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-30 20:42:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-07-30 20:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
maybe you should live in a grown up place where everyone around you has a job
=============
Name one place...ONE FUCKING PLACE where EVERYONE has a job!! It doesn't exist!!
Back in the day when someone tried to stop the hippie movement, the someone may have been a peace officer. Peace, my ass. Kills people and refers to certain folks as niggers. THAT'S
PROGRESS, FOLKS. bullshit.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-07-30 20:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
maybe you should live in a grown up place where everyone around you has a job
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-30 19:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm expressing my rage over my constant typos.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-30 19:27:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*by
fuck off
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-30 19:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't get hit up often my hippies, but Indians beg change from me all the time. I say, "Well, I won't give you any money for the bus or for food, but I will buy you a drink if you want."
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-30 19:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'ROID RAGE!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-07-30 16:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
aw, no mention of those motherfucking snakes on that motherfucking plane.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-07-30 16:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
back in the day, a few of us tried to nip that movement in the bud before it became a real problem, but, as you know, we failed
anyway, it's all good cause i still have my 12 guage Berreta BL-6 O+U shotgun that i bought with my James Rector Memorial overtime pay
only in amerika
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2008-07-30 16:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 south park. goddamn hippy drum circles.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-30 15:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-30 13:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go cram it up your latest injection hole you puffy chunk of ginger shit.
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Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:54:43 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The hills have eyes below
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i have no fucking idea what's going on with this post but these two reviews made me laugh
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-07-30 15:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
where in colorado do you live?
oh wait, the entire state of colorado is made of hippies...
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-30 15:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHA
I
I
I
I
V
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-07-30 15:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Everytime those patchouli oil smelling motherfuckers come up to me and ask; spare change?, I tell them; no thanks asshole, I've got a pocketfull.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-30 15:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-30 13:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go cram it up your latest injection hole you puffy chunk of ginger shit.
Now THAT'S more like, it, Chubbs.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-07-30 14:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
poop breath below
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-07-30 14:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The hills have eyes below
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-30 14:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The word is spelled Hippie.
The young assholes today are not real hippies. We had a purpose in the 60s. Get laid, get high, leave the world a mess for our children and grandchildren. We succeeded.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-07-30 14:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Judgement
User id: 34004
Registered on or around: 2008-07-30 08:16:54 EDT
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 0
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0
_____________________________
I am flattered that people are creating accounts JUST to -2 me.
I have thus reached my precipice on Ubersite.
-----
Did you mean precipice, Simon? Because that really doesn't make much sense.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-07-30 14:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-30 13:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go cram it up your latest injection hole you puffy chunk of ginger shit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-07-30 14:04:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha @ St. Johnson's Warts.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2008-07-30 14:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post.
Go to the Arcata Eye newspaper and check out the police log. Its full of highlarious hippy vs cops encounters.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-07-30 13:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I really do try to be sensitive to other cultures"
hippy culture? it is aculture now?
yet another reason i feel ok, judging other cultures.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-30 13:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
For someone who constantly proclaims how tough he is, how much money he makes, and how great his life is, you sure complain a lot.
Anyone who feels the need to remind complete strangers how happy he is, likely isn't happy at all.
You seem quite odious and needy and possessing very little strength of character.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-07-30 13:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-30 13:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go cram it up your latest injection hole you puffy chunk of ginger shit.
hahahahahahahah
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-07-30 13:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK Jack.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-30 13:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats fantastic Rob Berg hate LOL
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-30 13:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go cram it up your latest injection hole you puffy chunk of ginger shit.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-30 12:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lame.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-07-30 12:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Did I actually read comments here to the effect that these so-called hippies "believe" in something? Ha ha. The only thing they "believe" in is shaking down gullible suckers who believe they believe in something. They're no different than our politicians in that respect. They just have less ambition. Fuck'em.
Did you say you were eating the warts off of someone's johnson?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-07-30 12:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a resounding WAAAAAAAAA for the Ginger Hulk
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-07-30 12:17:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
k
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have an idea:
Shut the fuck up.
PS. No one cares about anything that you have to offer, a-hole.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really hope your "uber" personality is just a facade, and that your thought process doesn't really work the same way that you write.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Few people are as sickeningly boring as Circe.
And by 'few' I mean 'none'.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Exactly. Good for them. Fundamentalist christians, catholics, buddhists, furries, D&D nerds, etc etc etc. They all believe in something.
These hippies you're so worked up about happen to believe in something that doesn't get people killed for ideological reasons, or require them to rape children or fuck animals.
By your own comparisons, they're pretty fuckin' awesome.
[Also.. "anything to antagonise" might be thinking a little highly of yourself. I clicked on this accidentally, sweets; I usually don't care enough to read your stuff, let alone antagonise you. And now my level of caring has dropped back to pre-click levels, so see ya.]
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I created this account just to -2 you...
and everyone else who fails to entertain me. (It's not fucking hard either... That's what she said)
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Utah. Nevermind. Nothing grows in Utah. Bonneville is awesome, granted, but you can keep the rest of the state.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Judgement
User id: 34004
Registered on or around: 2008-07-30 08:16:54 EDT
# Messages posted: 0
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# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
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Average rating of all messages: 0
_____________________________
I am flattered that people are creating accounts JUST to -2 me.
I have thus reached my precipice on Ubersite.
---------------
Prolly Redskies. Regardless of what he says... he takes this whole Uber business VERY seriously.
Yes sir, very seriously indeed.
hum.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I see salt quite a bit - always near food.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I recall that you moved to Colorado, which is one of the places where hippies grow wild. You can hardly expect them to just step aside when you're the one invading their habitat. Hippies are like bears; really happy bears that will share their cave if you're cool. Be a bit cool. You're rich - give 'em a quarter.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAH@SEE LEVEL
IS THAT ANYTHING LIKE SEE SALT OR SEE URCHINS?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Salt Lake City Utah Elevation 4,226'.....not exactly see level there moron.
other than that shut the fuck up before I bitch slap you, cellphone salesman
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Judgement
User id: 34004
Registered on or around: 2008-07-30 08:16:54 EDT
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 0
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0
_____________________________
I am flattered that people are creating accounts JUST to -2 me.
I have thus reached my precipice on Ubersite.
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Muddy I'm in Salt Lake City.
Check your references you ugly mechanic.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My boyfriend fancies himself a hippie, but he works for a living and showers regularly. He's some kind of weird breed.
The way I see it, there are class differences among hippies. You've got eco-hippies (AKA tree-huggers or bunny-huggers), weed hippies (self-explanatory), jam-band hippies, trustafarians (rich kids slumming), gutter-punks (homeless travelers who for some reason like to keep dogs), and then you've got your straight-up irresponsible fucktards who never grew up and mooch off anyone who will let them. Some hippies I enjoy, some I don't. See if you can guess which ones are which.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh. At least they believe in something.
______________________
Anything to antagonize, ay Circe?
At least SATANISTS and TALIBAN members believe in something. At least PAEDO's believe in something.
Come on.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
seems to me that someone who hated hippies with such fervor wouldn't move to a mountainous area where they tend to live their bohemian lifestyle unless that person just liked the idea of being pissed off in general and being a moron.
the only things hippies ask of me is to buy grill cheese sandwiches and ask me if I've got 1 ticket for sale.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh. At least they believe in something.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-30 11:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-30 10:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ranking the post, not the poster.
Fuck Hippies
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-30 10:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You could just mace them like Hunter S. Thompson did. No fingerprints in an anonymous city. They would never catch you.