Confronted by Mormons for not being a Mormon (918 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.56 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bob Sandwich (View user info) at 2008-07-24 13:36:38 EDT
I was walking home when two Mormons homed in on me, robot like, perhaps sensing with their Mormon-Devil magic that my spirit wasn't entirely crushed, and wanting to hone their skills of conversion, decided to give me a piece of paper in hopes of bringing me onto their side. To be part of the team, traveling the world in the name of Joseph Smith on ten-speed steel horses, like a modern day Don Quixote de la Mancha with a mission to rid the world of evil Catholics. I was on to their plan.
They apologized for walking in the dark with ties and I forgave them for the travesty but still felt shaken up because I've never been in such a tense situation with (missionaries) someone who wanted to force their own religion on me. But I got the impression that they really believed everything they were telling me about their religion and that they honestly believed they were doing good. I eased the hunting knife back down into its sheath as stealthily as I began to remove it and wished them luck on their mission.
I tried to hug the one on the right, but he backed away and looked at me weird.
User Reviews
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-28 21:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jaob (user info) at 2008-07-26 04:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I am stuck in a work truck with a Jehova's witness for at least 4 hours a day.
Painful.
Maybe I should take a hunting knife to work?
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How...how can this happen?
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-28 16:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Retal -2's makes the baby jesus happy.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-27 14:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The guy on the left reminds me of Donny Osmond.
Back in the early 70s I was attacked and molested by morons....er...Mormons. Way back in those days they drove small economy cars. The bicycles came later.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-27 11:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Brad--do you have relatives in the JWs? My sympathies if you do. I could do a dozen posts about the JW belief system and how bizare it is and still not get to everything!
If you have family in that religion *coughCULTcough*, we should e-mail!
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-07-27 04:37:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ask me about the weirdness that goes on inside the jehovah's witnessess. the mormons are almost normal beside them. the mormons are alot more peacable. the JoHo's Will tell you that you are on the path to hell.
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-07-26 08:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The mormons, and the jehovas witnesses tend to come to the door here alot hoping to spout their bullshit to a random victim.... Thats why I keep a Bad Religion T shirt by the door.. it sends the message.
When I first moved on base they were actually trying to get new marines to move into this house full of them, and pocket their BAH (Basic allowance for housing) for "rent" Only they didn't allow TV,or alcohol, and they would sit around and look at eachother, and talk about god all day.
Submitted by jaob (user info) at 2008-07-26 04:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I am stuck in a work truck with a Jehova's witness for at least 4 hours a day.
Painful.
Maybe I should take a hunting knife to work?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-25 19:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckin hell. most of my family are Jehovah's Witnesses. don't EVEN get me started!
i dont want to talk about it.
+2 sympathy
Sorry. I'm drunk
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-07-25 15:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This isn't very good, but at least it was short and to the point, and relative to the crap on the front page these days, I can't give it a negative.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-25 03:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Respek
User id: 31230
Registered on or around: 2007-06-12 15:51:30 EDT
# Messages posted: 63
# Reviews written: 290
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 1230
# Hits: 32334
Average rating of all messages: -0.58
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Wow, I was really surprised to see another -2 from you.
Submitted by Respek (user info) at 2008-07-24 21:36:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
All i see here is a big pile of fail. Why don't you just leave? This is just embarrasing.
Submitted by tmofw (user info) at 2008-07-24 17:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a shiny new +2 for you Mr Sammich.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-24 17:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-24 17:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I tried to hug the one on the right, but he backed away and looked at me weird.
---
He probably knew about your AIDS.
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Are the open sores really that much of a give away?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-24 17:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I tried to hug the one on the right, but he backed away and looked at me weird.
---
He probably knew about your AIDS.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-07-24 17:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for going armed into the world
be careful though one of them could be orgasmo in disguise
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-07-24 15:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for walking around with a hunting knife on you.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-24 15:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2008-07-24 15:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously, you'd have a heart attack or something.
btw, I'd totally grind on the guy on the left...
thankee, bobblah
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based on this
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117771#2749761
I thought you were a guy....
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What's your point?
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2008-07-24 15:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously, you'd have a heart attack or something.
btw, I'd totally grind on the guy on the left...
thankee, bobblah
=====================================
based on this
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117771#2749761
I thought you were a guy....
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously, you'd have a heart attack or something.
btw, I'd totally grind on the guy on the left...
thankee, bobblah
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
find a better post in the last few hours. I kept it short, to the point, entertaining
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If you say so...
Submitted by TiddlyWinks (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy? r u going to steel all his money? if u want to ID teft some1 u should steel it.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Hug" or "grind"?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Turn in your password and walk away from your computer
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the picture from encyclopedia dramatica.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ay mi Dios, It was a joke... I get it now.
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Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm calling BS, it has Today's most recent post on the top of the board.
--
I just found out you are mentally retarded.
I didn't mean to make fun of a retard.
Accidents like this do happen on occasion.
Please try to remember to tell your handlers that all online time should be monitored.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Bob, repeat after me -
"Uber is not my blog. Uber is not my blog. Uber is not my blog."
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some things are harder to +2 than others.
Try not to suck so much and i won't have to hurt young children to release my rage.
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find a better post in the last few hours. I kept it short, to the point, entertaining, and most importantly I didn't rant about the USA or Europe, Camwhore, slam a race, or ask you to name a fish.
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haha, and then I realized it was all true.
Speaking of which, even when I click on the fucking thing, it's still teeeeeeny tiny. WTF?????
I wrote all over that shit, it wasn't JUST pictures, it had words to piss people off, too!!
Please help!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Got a point...you win for the day
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some things are harder to +2 than others.
Try not to suck so much and i won't have to hurt young children to release my rage.
===========================================================================
find a better post in the last few hours. I kept it short, to the point, entertaining, and most importantly I didn't rant about the USA or Europe, Camwhore, slam a race, or ask you to name a fish.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some things are harder to +2 than others.
Try not to suck so much and i won't have to hurt young children to release my rage.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cause im a mormon, on ten speed steel horses I ride, Im a mormon, and I riiiiiiiiiiide.
Submitted by TiddlyWinks (user info) at 2008-07-24 13:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
not so sure bout mormons. we used 2 have mormon window cleaners. they looked in my window alot.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-07-24 13:57:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I fell into the same trap of posting about religion on MY first post. It sucked a little worse than this.
...okay A LOT worse.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/97725 <---witness the awfulness.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-24 13:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah??
I'll go push one out right now for ya.
*Wink wink
Or is it nudge nudge...shit.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-24 13:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it is so hott when a girl sharts.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-24 13:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This reminds me; a few weeks ago (..??) two bitches came to my door and started talking to me about Jesus.
I interrupted her and said, "Hey, look I don't really care. It'd be better for all of us if you didn't waste your time and spew that to someone who cares."
She just looked at me, looked honestly grateful, thanked me for my honesty and tried having a conversation about how gorgeous I am. I almost shit my pants in hysterics. Maybe I sharted a lil bit, but that's not the point. I like mormons, they're nice, as long as they shut the fuck up about that bob guy.