This Things I Believe (1274 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.19 on 73 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by orph (View user info) at 2008-07-16 07:02:01 EDT
Gordon hates Coldplay, and therefore by association, anyone who likes them. Their coma-inducing aural diazepam sends him shrieking and running for a soundproof room. He thinks they epitomise all that's wrong with modern British society.
He says that the cause of the world's problems can be traced back to the release of that sickly piece of trash entitled 'Yellow'. The lead singer is a vegetarian twat (and a militant vegetarian at that).
His wife has a big nose.
They named their spawn Apple.
Gordon probably doesn't like you either.
Gordon despises mobile phones and mobile phone contracts, and mobile phone ring tones, and mobile phone representatives that call him on his home phone to offer him mobile phone deals.
Gordon holds a special level of mobile phone related hate for the window lickers that work for mobile phone company stores. The ones with catchy phrases and blinking logos on their cheap polo-shirts, blank looks in their eyes, and an attitude to match.
Gordon does not even want to start on wireless headsets and cyborg-like Bluetooth receivers.
He abhors advertising on television, but especially adds for breakfast cereal. Coco-pops are the flavour of the month, and he cannot understand how the simple act of eating cereal - even if it is in the shapes of stars and moons - can transport him off to a literally milky galaxy where he flies around, head-nodding to the soothing techno remake of Funky Town following every spoonful.
Gordon also finds late night quiz shows that have now taken over from late night movies particularly abhorrent. He cannot understand who would call these facile smarmy presenters in the hope of winning an un-winnable prize, given the ridiculous stacking of odds against them.
IVF treatment also provides a vessel for a portion of Gordon's ire. If you can't have children, then that's it - you can't have children. Go adopt some poor orphan bastard instead of assuming you have a god-given right to reproduce.
Early menopause, low sperm count? Play the cards dealt to you; don't go stacking the deck, whining about how unfair life is. Fuck off, Gordon thinks.
Gordon loathes tourists on open decked buses that stand up and take photos when zooming past a place of interest.
'As a mother,' is the pinnacle of moronic statements according to Gordon. Whenever anyone in his vicinity begins a sentence with this pathetic combination of words, Gordon sprints towards the culprit and bitch-slaps them, right up side the head. 'As a parent,' is almost as bad.
Gordon believes that Muslim women wearing the full hajib look like bandits on their way to a hold-up. He always wants to turn the tables and stick-them-up first, but doesn't want any fatwa's to be issued against him just yet. The time is not quite right.
Gordon has issues with people that cough in front of him when he smokes a cigarette, in some vague attempt to make him feel bad for polluting their air. Gordon always asks them whether they also dance in front of wheelchair users, and always comes away feeling incredibly smug and superior.
He also cannot fathom what would possess someone to go ten pin bowling.
Gordon hates tiny, able to be hand held suitcases that come supplied with an extended handle and wheels allowing them to be dragged along the ground by the stupid lazy owner.
He cannot stand commercialisation, modern music, modern fashion, the youth of today, and immigrants. Gordon hates mispronunciation and misspelling.
Gordon loves big guns, but doesn't own any, and big beers, but can't drink any, and big sports, but can't play any, and he likes the internet.
Gordon loves commenting on things that have nothing to with him. He likes subjects about him, or California driving laws, or Weird Al Yankovic, or fairy tales, or itching, or posting, or the USA, or customers, or giblets or Obamas or techno-popes, or strangers and maybe even unrelated lists of things.
Gordon is the only cunt that thinks this site has been any good for the last month.
User Reviews
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-07-19 14:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-07-18 06:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2008-07-17 05:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If gordon is meant to mean all stupid yanks, then why did you give him such a British name?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-17 04:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-07-17 09:18:10 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh i jus thtought the name was short for orphelia.
in which case i take back what i said
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I really don't see how people can make such an assumption.
There are clearly comments from an 'orph' and an 'orphelia'. Unless we were the same user with a very poorly disguised alter, I do not see how the confusion can happen.
Besides, orph is hot, male talented. I am none of those.
And your comment should still iddq.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-07-17 04:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh i jus thtought the name was short for orphelia.
in which case i take back what i said
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-07-17 03:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orph is male, iddy.
Spam ole Spam, how's it going?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-07-17 02:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heres a tip because i didnt mind this post, which is a rarity for women who write here (im pretty sure youre female, but i dont really may much attention, pardon me if im wrong)...
if someone calls you out for ripping off a quote from somewhere and they happen to be right - dont argue, dont justify, dont defend, just admit ignorance and ask them why they care if they continue.
other than that, i agree with most of what gordon has to say.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by orph (View user info) at 2008-07-16 07:02:01 EDT
Gordon has issues with people that cough in front of him when he smokes a cigarette, in some vague attempt to make him feel bad for polluting their air. Gordon always asks them whether they also dance in front of wheelchair users, and always comes away feeling incredibly smug and superior.
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Cool, Bill Hicks! He's my favorite comedian.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 17:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 22:00:17 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 21:35:00 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
It'll wear off Orphelia, You're probably still in that forced state of retardedness that you put yourself into earlier.
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'Forced'??
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Oh yeah, you are quoting me from earlier.
My, you are too vlever for me to pick a fight with. This is why I miss sico.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 17:00:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 21:35:00 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
It'll wear off Orphelia, You're probably still in that forced state of retardedness that you put yourself into earlier.
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'Forced'??
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 16:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-16 21:56:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mostly disliked? You should check my inbox.
Or just my box
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*cringe*
Not picking on you orphelia. Just making an observation.
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I thought everyone of my 'lines' were cringeworthy.
I am middle aged, everythng I say gets that response.
And I rather like the idea of you picking on me, I always thought you'd be the dominant one.
(Not butch, just bossy).
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-16 16:56:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mostly disliked? You should check my inbox.
Or just my box
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*cringe*
Not picking on you orphelia. Just making an observation.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 16:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It'll wear off Orphelia, You're probably still in that forced state of retardedness that you put yourself into earlier.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 16:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looking at his posts, I feel I may be a big spam fan.
But not in a sexual way. He looks like the cop from The Usual Suspects.
And MrWolf looks familiar.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-16 15:42:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's what Shlongy believes:
Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-16 15:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
probably should be more like DAYUMMM.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-16 15:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-16 19:46:26 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
She doesn't wipe it out.
See http://www.ubersite.com/m/117236 for more.
-------------------------
I <3 Doodles.
Though I have had sex more than 3 times. Usually i ask them to spill on my jelly belly.
I knock off a few quid in return.
__________
god damn.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-16 15:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would fuck your deep, deep face wrinkles below.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 15:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
better choose her good eye
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-16 15:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd fuck your eye.
I have a thing for eye sex.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-16 19:46:26 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
She doesn't wipe it out.
See http://www.ubersite.com/m/117236 for more.
-------------------------
I <3 Doodles.
Though I have had sex more than 3 times. Usually i ask them to spill on my jelly belly.
I knock off a few quid in return.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She doesn't wipe it out.
See http://www.ubersite.com/m/117236 for more.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
really? What do you use to wipe the spunk out when your patrons are done with you?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You fucked your title over. How sad.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:25:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 19:16:05 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and shut up emission. Are you not tired of crawling up everyones arse??
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im not crawling LOL
I was implementing my catch phrase, yes MINE!
I apologise for any confusion.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:18:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 19:04:32 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
ahahaha! this is fricking hilarious - I Love how you guys get your panties in a bunch with almost NO provocation whatsoever. I wonder what would happen if I actually started being a proper cunt.
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I am certainly NOT the kind of girl who wears panties.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(But I don't mind really emission, as long as you crawl up just mine :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:39:48 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
stfu orphelia, you're a crappy n00b who is mostly disliked.
how dare you quiz someone like Spam as to their uber worth?
get back to nursing your slitty eyed spawn.
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I thought he was you, to be honest. I think everyone is you.
Mostly disliked? You should check my inbox.
Or just my box.
I was only having fun with spam. He seemed capable of a fun filled internet squabble.
Oh, and shut up emission. Are you not tired of crawling up everyones arse??
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Apollo old Chum!! Good to see you again. I see you're still a massive cunt.
Good good.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 14:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ahahaha! this is fricking hilarious - I Love how you guys get your panties in a bunch with almost NO provocation whatsoever. I wonder what would happen if I actually started being a proper cunt.
Oh, I've actually missed Uber. I may make my return permanent.
And no, not Vegas. don't be fucking ridiculous. I went to the one round Pocks house (RIP) where we all bummed his lovely girlfriend Jenny. She wasn't to bad for a ginger either.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-07-16 13:52:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Gordon hates Coldplay, and therefore by association, anyone who likes them. Their coma-inducing aural diazepam sends him shrieking and running for a soundproof room. He thinks they epitomise all that's wrong with modern British society.
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That one is true
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 13:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh and apollo is How VERY dare you.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 13:47:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Grief.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-16 13:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stfu orphelia, you're a crappy n00b who is mostly disliked.
how dare you quiz someone like Spam as to their uber worth?
get back to nursing your slitty eyed spawn.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 13:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ubercon is a myth. Are you talking about Vegas? Were you one of the many to shag the same female user? Lucky you.
Forgive me not knowing every little detail about you, but I don't give a flying fuck. Alter.
Heehee.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 13:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my God, I noticed your precious 'date' idiot. So are you saying that no one ever had more than one account in the 'good old days'? Bugger off.
I am having to force my retardation, but for you, it seems to come as naturally as breathing. Bravo.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 13:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Spam
User id: 12294
Registered on or around: 2004-09-18 11:42:22 EDT
# Messages posted: 74
# Reviews written: 4314
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 3344
# Hits: 145764
Average rating of all messages: 1.77
--
YES UBER IT'S TRUE. I AM AN ALTER AND HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS. AM REALLY METHOD. THE PERSON YOU GUYS MET AT THE VARIOUS UBERCONS I HAVE ATTENDED WAS IN FACT A GREASY HAIRED CHUBBY ENGLISH FRIEND OF MINE WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
WE ARE TALKING JAPE OF THE CENTURY.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 13:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!
I hope you're being that retarded on purpose.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 12:20:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not one to poke my nose in but...
Orph has never taken part in any circlejerk, he is very quiet and moody really, and no one particularly like him. (:))
And I did wonder why this 'spam' creature so constanly drops the -2s. Usually you give your rating then just '0' on any further comment. I think thsi 'spam' person has issues. And is an alter.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 12:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You need to chill out. I'm not even argueing with you. If I were I would point out that I 've already substantiated my accusations.
Anyways, looking at the strength of your reactions, I'll leave you alone, you seem a might too fragile for any kind of honesty. Carry on with the Uber-circle jerk safe in the knowledge that everybody loves you and you're brilliant. Well done.
(ps - if I were really trawling for a fight I would have resorted to childish insults by now wouldn't I?)
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-16 11:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh spam, do fuck off.
I don't mind criticism in the least - its your unsubstantiated rip-off comments that got me riled.
So run along little man, and try and win another argument on the internet.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-16 11:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe I saw Coldplay at a festival in the 'early days', around the time of 'Yellow'. I am certain it was Reading. They were awful and booed - I am not sure this came across on the radio and TV coverage, but they howled. Apparently, this prompted Chris Martin to take some much needed singing lessons. Lucky us he now sings his awful dirges in almost perfect key.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2008-07-16 11:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i believe this Gordon is an asshole
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 11:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So it wasn't the assumptions that make me a dickhead, it was my posts? Perhaps a combination of the two?
Or maybe you're just looking for reasons to explain why you're being so defensive when in reality, your time would probably be better spent taking the criticism on the chin and moving on with your life.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-16 11:16:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I read some of your posts too.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 11:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-16 10:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Assumption makes you a dickhead.
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An ironic statement seeing as you are basing this opinion on a few lines of text.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-16 10:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I smiled.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-16 10:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Assumption makes you a dickhead.
Everything is derivative.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 10:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well it meant enough for you to call me an opinionated dickhead earlier so it my might be a bit late to be playing the "I' don't care" card now hey?
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-16 10:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, this means everything to me.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 10:02:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
here's the Bill Hicks quote:
"Tell you, the worst kind of non-smokers' the kind where you're smokin' and they just walk up to you ... [starts coughing affectedly] I always say, 'Shit, you're lucky you don't smoke. That's some cough you got there, dude. I'm smoking, you're coughing. Wow.' That's kind of cruel, man. Going up to a smoker and coughing. Shit! Do you go up to crippled people dancing too, you fucks? 'Hey, Mr. Wheelchair. What's your problem? Come on ironside, race ya!'"
Whatever, if you didn't steal it wholesale then you're just massively unoriginal. either way I couldn't give a fuck.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Hicks - well i don't know this guy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Bailey - I recognise this guy from HIGNFY, and now I know his name.
Assumption is the mother of all opinionated dickheads.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gordon steals some of his thought processes directly from the stand-up routines of Bill-bailey and Bill Hicks almost word-for-word.
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Who the fuck are they?
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*frowns*
I wouldn't say "word for word" at all. Whilst some of it is reminiscent of Hick's 'speaking as a mother' skit, the rest of it is far too billious to be closely associated with Bill Bailey.
Ben, you know who Bill Hicks and Bill Bailey are. Everyone knows. Even people hiding in caves from American attack helicopters know who they are.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HI FEY!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gordon steals some of his thought processes directly from the stand-up routines of Bill-bailey and Bill Hicks almost word-for-word.
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Who the fuck are they?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hating coldplay that much is completley irrational
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This part won it for me....
Gordon has issues with people that cough in front of him when he smokes a cigarette, in some vague attempt to make him feel bad for polluting their air. Gordon always asks them whether they also dance in front of wheelchair users, and always comes away feeling incredibly smug and superior.
... WINNAR!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gordon steals some of his thought processes directly from the stand-up routines of Bill-bailey and Bill Hicks almost word-for-word.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who's Gordon?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-16 13:35:24 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i say fuck chris martin up his gypsy white ass
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I like how you think white man.
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OooOoga Boooga Im the whitest white man since Rodney Rude and that infamous polar bear got jiggy with the biggy
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i say fuck chris martin up his gypsy white ass
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I like how you think white man.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-16 06:27:13 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My friend Gordon lives downtown. He has a new Segway and is incredibly smug about it. I am considering mounting a small camera on it that records his face while he operates it about town, just to show him how annoying he looks.
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I went to an outdoor Blues festival a few weeks ago and some 70 year old dude was riding a brand spanking new Seqway around pushing flyers about some other outdoor music festival coming up.
Anyway, the dude thought himself as quite the Mack Daddy and in addition to distributing flyers, he was trying to flirt with the 18-25 year old girls. He wore polyester pants, patent white leather loafers, a pastel baby blue polo shirt, and a terrible toupee.
It was a pleasant day, the weather was nice, but a little windy.
He rolled his Seqway up to a group of 18-25 year old girls (who giggled at his approach) and commenced his Macking. At that moment, an exceptionally robust breeze passed by......and ruffled his toupee in such a way that it made it quite obvious to all those around him that his "hair" wasn't hair at all, but rather some polymer substance of an unidentifiable nature.
The girls nearly pee'd themselves laughing.
He called them bitches and was promptly punted out of the park along with his Seqway.
True story.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i say fuck chris martin up his gypsy white ass
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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That is, like, eleventy white person points right there.
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that means I have only like, 60 white person points to go until I reach the Mega level!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:37:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I saw coldplay live - it was when 'Yellow' had just become popular. Needless to say no one came to see them and I smoked a joint and yelled at Chris Martin to put some shoes on. He gave me the finger.
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That is, like, eleventy white person points right there.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:37:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I saw coldplay live - it was when 'Yellow' had just become popular. Needless to say no one came to see them and I smoked a joint and yelled at Chris Martin to put some shoes on. He gave me the finger.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My friend Gordon lives downtown. He has a new Segway and is incredibly smug about it. I am considering mounting a small camera on it that records his face while he operates it about town, just to show him how annoying he looks.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who is this Gordon? I know it isn't you because your name is Ben and also nobody would ever marry an orphan, big nose or not.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to agree, if nothing else it would be fun to get him wound up about some of this stuff.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I could quite like Gordon.