Why didn’t anyone say anything!?! (857 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.87 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FALLEN (View user info) at 2008-07-15 16:03:22 EDT
HELP ME! PLEASE!
I think I'm losing my mind.
I have tried to ignore this but it seems as if I might possibly have an alter that I don't know about.
Let me explain.
It seems in the last year or so any new user will at some point get called an alter, because most of them actually are. I have thought to myself before that I never was accused of that. Possibly because there was less of an infestation of them when I joined or because I don't spend every waking hour here.
Whatever, no big deal.
I think I should go on record that I DON'T have any alters past or present.
So anyway I posted this
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117584
And it was reviewed by a new user named BobSandwich.
Positively I might add, thank you.
MudWhistle called him out on something and being a noob, Bob mistakenly said HE posted my post
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117584#2740705
This confused Muddy and myself, and we straightened BS out, he apologized and life moved on.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117584#2740715
I had assumed that alter accusations would start flying because I know if I read all that it would look to me, like a user sucking his alters dick.
A few days later I'm catching up on my reading when I see this review by BobSandwich.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117607#2741940
Despite the rampant retardation here, most Uber users are actually smart, so the fact that Bob used the word "Phenylketonuria" should be no big deal. See, the thing is, the only other person I EVER heard use that word is....
Me.
That struck me as odd, and I started adding things up.
New user
No posts
Seems to know whom the players (players? Oy!) are.
Positively rating me and then getting into a discussion in the comments of my post
Using vocabulary similar to my own.
WTF?
Who is this guy?
Now today I'm surfing along and I find in Recently Reviewed nitty's Breakfield series. I read a few and liked them. I wondered who dug these up from three years ago so I scroll down and
http://www.ubersite.com/m/72453#2742579
Holy shit!
Who are you man!
I don't have any alters I swear! Why are you doing this to me!?
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-05 12:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
With pictures would help.
:)
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-17 05:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've heel-poked so many newborns, I couldn't even guess as to how many.
I used to remark that supposedly newborns can't lift their heads, but with the right motivation, they can surprise you.
Some newborns would, I swear, lift their heads, turn around and give me an evil look, and try to slither away.
Yup.
-------------------------
Uh, nice.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bob's your uncle
Submitted by Jack_Burton (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's all in the reflexes.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-16 04:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last night as I walked home from work, I passed a large, bald-headed, bearded guy with 'die n00b' written on his t-shirt.
I actually stopped to shudder.
*shudders*
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 03:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IM BOB SANDWICH!
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-07-15 22:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit, Jeanneee beat me to it, and was a lot funnier. Here, have a plus two.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-07-15 22:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FALLEN (View user info) at 2008-07-15 16:03:22 EDT
That struck me as odd, and I started adding things up.
New user
No posts
Seems to know whom the players (players? Oy!) are.
...
-------------------------
WHY are people always so mystified that new users know the goings-on of this site? They've even been called out as alters based solely on the fact that they're too familiar with everything that goes on here. You may find this startling, but ANYONE CAN READ THIS SITE. Bet that made some of you pull up your pants, huh?
Oh, and the solution to the Bob Sandwich mystery is that you have a severe dissociative personality disorder, and "Bob Sandwich" is one of your many personalities that you are consciously unaware of. Don't worry, this isn't uncommon for schizophrenics. You're welcome.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-15 22:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
um...i forgot what i was rating.
wild card +2
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-07-15 20:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
****
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-15 19:16:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BobSandwich is my alter. I have been internet stalking you, and find you very boring.
End topic.
Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2008-07-15 17:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-15 17:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get back in your cage, Bubba. I'll send for you when it's time to execute the infidels.
I have no idea what that means.
===========
Do you have any idea what ANYTHING means, ya dink??
:D
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-15 17:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sandwiches blow.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-15 17:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
now i want a sandwich
which just makes me want beeltea even more
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-15 17:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Confusing
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am most honored, I'm eating this shit up.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you should be honored Bob to get a tribute style post as a noob.
especially from me I'm an A-lis..
B..
C+ lister around here.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting fact; the name BobSandwich came from highschool, a kid in class was put into the ICU for a few days having his face and skull rebuilt after running a atv head first into a tree. He was running about 60mph and found the ONLY tree in the whole field, so when the get well card got around to my friends and I we put "I hope your new face looks better than your old one, Bob Sandwich"
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've heel-poked so many newborns, I couldn't even guess as to how many.
I used to remark that supposedly newborns can't lift their heads, but with the right motivation, they can surprise you.
Some newborns would, I swear, lift their heads, turn around and give me an evil look, and try to slither away.
Yup.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get back in your cage, Bubba. I'll send for you when it's time to execute the infidels.
I have no idea what that means.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's take the focus off the PKU and put it back on BobSandwich
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's the test where they poke newborn babies in the heel. No, they aren't looking for the New Achilles. . .
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Although it is more than possible that 99.99% of Uber has PKU. Rampant retardation, etc.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:51:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeanneee--
I don't think you can develop PKU. You're born with it.
So have a diet Coke on me!
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Phenylketonuria is a test for retards and uber-alters.
I am so getting a Nobel prize for this.
I need a lab assistant FG, you want the job?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Phenylketonuria
otherwise known as PKU. I've used that word several times on Uber. I spent 12+ years working in a hospital lab.
I must be an alter too!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe you're the only one to use Phenylketonuria here, but I really hope you aren't saying you're the only one on Uber who knows the meaning of PKU.
:D
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Phenylketonuria is the inability to metabolize phenylalanine, which causes it to build up in your system and poison you, much like the bromides in chocolate will do to dogs.
Apparently, phenylalanine is in diet Coke. So I really hope I don't ever get phenylketonuria
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it's in Nutra-Sweet so its in damn near everything.
it's one of the things they check for in an Amniosentesis (sp) test when you are preggers
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck!
I read Maddox too!
What if I'm your alter and didnt know it?
oh no wait I'm in New York.
You're not me.
WookieSuave sighting!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Phenylketonuria is the inability to metabolize phenylalanine, which causes it to build up in your system and poison you, much like the bromides in chocolate will do to dogs.
Apparently, phenylalanine is in diet Coke. So I really hope I don't ever get phenylketonuria.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:38:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't say I know who either of you are to be honest.
Oh well.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:37:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and the Breakfield series came up in a review I was reading earlier by MudWhistle. He is one of the big players so I figured I would give it a read.
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's my alter, says so in the submitted by portion of this post.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I ain't no alter, I'm a real person with no other accounts on here. As far as my diction, I spend four or five hours a day on wikipedia and that was a mental disease that caught my eye. And it isn't hard to see who the players are, I am active on a few other sites (wwtdd, withleather, gorillamask, imdb, and sites like these) so I came to Uber with an idea of how a forum works. I have been reading uber for a few months since I first found it when I typed in the string "bored at work" on google, it was just a random search that inadvertantly led me to Ubersite. I was hesitant at first to join because I see how noobs are received here, but I have come to the understanding that points don't mean shit and trash talking and name calling are part of my everyday life with my friends so it's no big deal to me.
I have a dry sence of humor and used to spend most of my internet time on thebestpageintheuniverse dot com, maddox stopped posting and I read all of his past stories, which if you havn't then I suggest you do, so I started looking for other sites that had witty post and other tom-foolery going on.
I don't know how to prove that I am not an alter, run my ip and you should see that i am in north texas.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's funny...I was actually gonna say "It's probably oathmeal and his 47 alters- this is all that loser has in his life".
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's Shlongy.
He's got like...a billion alters or something.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but you have PDD. Also AIDS.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its your good twin (seeing as how you are the evil twin)
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-07-15 16:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They said the same thing about Urkle; that little snot. Boy I'd like
to smack that kid.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart Gets Famous