Does it smell like an Asian teenager in here? Oh wait, it’s just me. (708 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.33 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FALLEN (View user info) at 2008-07-02 11:32:45 EDT
If you were to see the inside of my shower it looks like the shampoo isle in a grocery store. I have bottles of this shampoo and that conditioner.
Well, when I say "I", I mean my family. My wife and daughter have all of this crap.
Me, as a guy I don't need all this French milled lavender jasmine shampoo and seashell-egg white conditioners.
All a man needs is soap and shampoo, and if there is no shampoo, well the bar soap will fix that too.
What is also around the tub and shower is a lot of razors. This is of no use to me because I don't shave in the shower, men shave at the sink.
And while I'm at it, why are all my good razors in the shower?
Every time I go to shave and I pick up, because its handy, what looks like a good old reliable BIC disposable and start to shave only to discover that its not a BIC but one of those free razors you get when you stay at a hotel.
Oh they look like a good disposable but one or two passes on a beard and that blade gives the shaving smoothness of a handful of broken glass.
Why the fuck is this thing still here? I'll tell you why it is here to keep me from realizing that my Gillette Titanium Quad-blade is off shaving someone's legs and not my face!
Like I was saying, I do like I always do, shave first then hop in the shower, it saves time and water!
Yea Earth!
I strip down, that's right ladies; Fallen shaves in the nude.
OH YEAH!
I'll let you savor that for a second......
Fight with the above-mentioned razor-o-doom and try to keep the blood loss to a minimum. I hop in the shower and grab whatever shampoo is nearby
(WTF? Mango-kelp fusion?)
And go to it.
Rinse-lather-repeat.
Hair's all done now all I need is some soap.
Fuck!
Shampoo, conditioner, split end therapy rinse, my good razor, a hair clip.
There is no bar of soap in sight. I even looked for those small remnant pieces of different color left over soaps to try and fuse them into one usable bar shaped conglomeration.
But no such luck.
I am weighing my options of using shampoo everywhere or getting out of the shower and go down the hall for a new bar, because of course there is no soap at the sink either.
When I see a small pink bottle of Hello Kitty Body wash.
Desperate times call for desperate measures and I had to get to work.
So here I am clean-shaven and smelling like an extra in a Hentai cartoon, but I feel so pretty and my hair looks great.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-07-03 08:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what really pisses me off? The metrosexuals who use those fancy electric razors that have a bajillion blades just all sorts of weird-ass things to make them comfortable.
I use a regular razor like you, 3 straight blades attached to a piece of plastic, no complications.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-03 07:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Went to my office yesterday and noticed I hadn't flipped my Fender Custom Shop calendar to July yet. The July guitar is a limited edition Hello Kitty Strat.
I R teh sad.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-03 04:31:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-07-03 03:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-03 13:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't say that I like asians all that much.
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How interesting.
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She lives in New Zealand so Asians for her are the equivilant of farmers to you. It's interesting really; it is like a pikey taking umbrage at a European confusing them with a roma gypsie.
This post is terrible by the way. It is like the most banal thing ever and the writing is lousy.
Why don't you tell us about the time you glanced at your daughter in summer and got a semi?
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-03 03:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i shower every saturday whether i need it or not.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-07-03 03:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-03 13:04:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't say that I like asians all that much.
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How interesting.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-02 23:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't say that I like asians all that much.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-02 19:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Captian Planet, he's a hero
Gunna take pollution down to zero
something-something
la-de-la
YAY
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-02 18:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Using the shampoo as a body wash was a perfectly viable option, it is basically the same product chemically speaking.
The fact that you chose to use a Hello Kitty body wash speaks volumes.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-02 18:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just shit in the shower.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-07-02 15:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-02 13:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you ALWAYS need jasmine
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-07-02 12:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-07-02 12:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck all this noise. What we really need to know is what kind of TP you wipe your butt with.
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HAHA
So if I shave in the shower that makes me like the arch-enemy of Captain Planet?
Crap, I have to remedy that.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-02 12:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I strip down, that's right ladies; Fallen shaves in the nude.
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So do I.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-07-02 12:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I use what ever TP is on sale, I have a man's ass that needs no quilted paper.
Shitshowershave is wrong
to save time i will at times shave while shitting then shower.
shitting after you just washed your ass seems counterproductive
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-02 12:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
There is a reason why its called "shit, shower and shave."
You are doing it wrong.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-02 12:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I use shower gel all over.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-07-02 12:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck all this noise. What we really need to know is what kind of TP you wipe your butt with.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-02 11:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have a razor, a big bottle of shampoo, and a big bottle of conditioner in the shower. I keep them on a shelf on a little stainless steel stand in the corner. My razor is blue. I use the conditioner because most of my head hair is about three feet long and I want to keep it that way.
MLW uses the same razor as I do but hers is pink, indicating that it's for women. Neither of us is colorblind, so there's no confusion. She gets the other three shelves on the little stainless steel stand in teh corner of the shower. She also gets the horizontal surfaces near the nice big tub, 10 of the 16 feet of countertop width in the bathroom, and 75% of the drawer and cabinet volume.
I am not certain what she does with all of the potions and lotions that festoon these areas, but I do know this: it works.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-07-02 11:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do rinse first then lather.
no I dont, fuck.
that's what happens when the phone rings when you are typing.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-02 11:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Every time I go to shave and I pick up, because its handy, what looks like a good old reliable BIC disposable and start to shave only to discover that its not a BIC but one of those free razors you get when you stay at a hotel.
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There is a difference?
Buy yourself a Gillette aready.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-02 11:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-07-02 11:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.