Say Hello to my leettle Friend... (1173 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.4 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ChaosJester (View user info) at 2008-06-12 14:27:31 EDT
So, my life's been pretty boring lately. Being unemployed is a bit different from how I expected it to be. On the one hand, I'm feeling quite nervous at not maintaining a steady stream (or even trickle) of income. On the other hand, however, I don't really need the money (for now, anyway) and I'm *definitely* enjoying the free time.
Anybody have suggestions about an enjoyable throw-away job I can maintain whilst being a penniless student?
Anyway, the reason why I'm writing today is to report that I finally have a friend! Yup, meet Random, my new Kitty-Cat. A cousin of mine was driving home from a job site a week or so ago (she's an architect), when she saw this little ball of fluff sitting in the middle of the road, covered in blood. Being the softy she is, my cousin immediately stopped her car and ran out into traffic to rescue the wee beastie.
Oddly enough, when she took the traumatized feline home and bathed him, she discovered that none of the blood was his. We hypothesize that he had a brother or sister or mother who met an untimely end right before my good Samaritan of a cousin found him.
Of course, as my cousin has more heart than sense, she adopted Mr. Fuzzynuts even though she really didn't have room for him. So, I went ahead and took the kitten off her hands. What can I say, I have a fondness for cats and I haven't had a pet in, like, a decade. So, screw it. Until some owl/coyote/ravenous badger makes a snack out of him, Random is my cuddly, buzzing kiteh.
Fuck off, I'm not gay.
Well, I never push back, anyway...
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-10 06:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whatever happened to this fellow?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2009-01-03 20:01:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was wondering why this place was less ghey
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2009-01-03 19:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What happened to you? I miss your writing :(
Submitted by skee (user info) at 2008-11-14 15:02:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what... do u live in east naples?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-14 14:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwwwwwwwww keeeeeeeeeety!!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-11-14 14:14:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
helloooo are you alive?
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-16 14:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We rescued a kitten who had been gnawed upon by a Baltimore pit bull. Her chest was torn right the hell open, along with various other damages. She needed tons of stitches, antibiotics, bandages on her paws, a drain in her chest cavity that spewed goo occasionally, and a dome collar.
She survived, and we called her Snackies.
Then we gave her to a sweet old lady and her grandkids.
Watching her hobbles around all broken and wounded really broke the heart.
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-06-14 13:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate cats.. but the fucker is actually pretty cute.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-13 11:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was a student I occasionally worked as a mystery shopper. It was easy. I would be told what shop to go into, and when, and make a purchase. The next day I would return it, get a refund, file a report and get paid £20 for a few minutes' work.
There are loads of websites that you can work through, and all correspondence is emailed.
Alternatively, you could sell your spunk to desperate, menopausal widows.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-06-13 11:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
too bad you are not a dwarf.
you could hire yourself out for dwarf tossing.
so i guess you are left with
would you like fries with that?
how bout a sunday?
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-06-13 10:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
How Ghey?
Fucking catish people make me sick.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-06-13 03:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this screams fag.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-13 02:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116412
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-06-12 23:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All right...that is a cute cat. I would probably not boil it.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-12 23:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-12 21:13:29 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cat people, especially MALE cat people, have serious fucking Oedipal issues.
I fucking hate cat people.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-06-12 23:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-12 16:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-11 16:59:28 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-06-11 16:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree, kids are a drag. But then, so are dogs and girlfriends. They all need too much attention.
_____________
If you get the right breeds, you'll get a dog who doesn't give a flying fuck about your attention 9/10ths of the time...it's awesome.
-----
And if you get a cat, it won't give a flying fuck about your attention 10/10ths of the time...which is even more awesome.
_________________
And if you get the right girlfriend, she won't give a fuck about you or anything you do, ever, because she'll be busy fucking your friends.
AND THEN YOU WON'T HAVE TO PUT YOURSELF OUT BY LIKING SOMETHING.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-12 22:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cat people, especially MALE cat people, have serious fucking Oedipal issues.
I fucking hate cat people.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-12 19:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Random the Killer Kitty.
Hells...Yes.
Except that, right now, he has no Claws of Doom. They're more like Pinpricks of Annoyance.
Still, he'll grow.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-06-12 18:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you do realize that you've given shelter to a killer kitty, don't you?
The blood wasn't his because it was HIS VICTIMS!!
one night, you're going to wake up dead. Just sayin'...
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-06-12 17:50:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oo joo. oo joo boo.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-12 17:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gayest "I'm not gay" post ever.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-06-12 17:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
awwww. I love kittens.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-12 17:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-12 17:14:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you make my scin crawl you fucking creep.
*****************************
I think I would feel more burned if I knew what this "scin" of which you speak is.
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-12 17:14:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you make my scin crawl you fucking creep.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-06-12 17:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not so bad, but I'm more of a dog person.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-12 16:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 'kiteh' or any variation, instance, or mention of that moronic lolcat horseshit
+2 helping out a homeless kid
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-06-12 16:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Random needs a new name. Try these on and see how it likes them-
-Commander Kitt-eh
-Lucky Little Bastard
-Roger Wagglestuff
-Not Roadkill
-Puppy Treat
-Lean Mean Poop Machine
-Snugglepaws
-Fuzzlebutt
-Patriot cAt (anagramed)
-Fetal Reject
-Sir Michael Crawley the 4th, second Duke of Texas, and 8th Earl of the Dominion of the Americas, commander of the undead, and leader of the feline pneumonia victims Legion o Doom.
(shortened to Ass Kick'r if you like)
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-06-12 16:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He is so handsome.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
skrap is an enteraining fellow.
______________________
SKRAP AND JEANNEEE SITTIN' IN A TREE...
--------------
I was talking about the kitten, weirdo.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-12 16:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-11 16:59:28 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-06-11 16:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree, kids are a drag. But then, so are dogs and girlfriends. They all need too much attention.
_____________
If you get the right breeds, you'll get a dog who doesn't give a flying fuck about your attention 9/10ths of the time...it's awesome.
-----
And if you get a cat, it won't give a flying fuck about your attention 10/10ths of the time...which is even more awesome.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no comment bitch.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...Merry merry kings of the bush are we-ee...
Oop. Wrong song.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry, The Outsider will protect him.
--
Yer fuckin' A.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He is so handsome.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
skrap is an enteraining fellow.
______________________
SKRAP AND JEANNEEE SITTIN' IN A TREE...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That a grreat fucking name too!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done, amn. Well done.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Desk clerk at a small hotel.
Other than regular check in/out times you can sit aroound and watch TV/study.
It was what I did on my semester abroad*
*suspended from school for a semester because some dumb bastard decided to headbut my fist. Seriously who the hell gets suspended from college?
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I expected him to be bald.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He is so handsome.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
skrap is an enteraining fellow.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cute kitty
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-12 15:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cats are smug little assholes. Fuck cats!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked part-time at a hardware store whilst in college. If you know anything about plumbing or electrical or yard stuff you'll do well. Or, you can be a security guard at a retail store and watch the monitors for shoplifters while you do your homework.
Cats are great college pets. Zero attention required and any you give is always appreciated. Do not fail to clean the litter box, though. And you have to feed him, too, and water as well, so maybe not 'zero' attention. Also, after you've put him in a paper bag and filled it with weed smoke two or three times, he'll come running when he hears the sound of a paper bag. Just sayin'.
Submitted by traxadron (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:52:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cool kitten. I have allergies to cats, bad ones too.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn that's a cute cat
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What does her being an architect have to do with anything?
**********************
Doesn't really matter, I suppose. She was simply inspecting the preliminary construction of a building that she helped to design. On her way back home (down a road she wouldn't ordinarily be traveling on) she saw the kitten-in-distress.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
They're usually looking for help down at your local glory hole.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Animal rescue.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What does her being an architect have to do with anything?
Cute cat.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
on a side note, get a job at a cabinet shop, every one I know of is looking for people to come in and do the low skill work and its not a bad trade to learn at all.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry, The Outsider will protect him.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-12 14:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I bet that thing would taste great in a stock of carrots, lard and Old Bay seasoning.