3 years on Ubersite (1131 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.75 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2008-06-08 20:27:01 EDT
So 3 years today I've spent on this place. I haven't been around too much recently, for a lot of reasons, but here's just a bit of an update on where I am.
I signed up after coming home from my second-to-last exam freshman year of high school, and posted the day after. Now, three years later I'm done with high school. I graduated a while ago, and I'm getting ready for a final summer of minimal responsibility before heading to American University in Washington DC. I work as a pizza hustler and as a summer camp counselor, I'm not as skinny as I used to be, bulked up a bit. I miss a lot of people now, and it's only gonna be worse when I leave for college.
I'm guilty, I guess, of thinking too much, or reflecting, or even drowning in certain thoughts. I have a heavy sense of nostalgia and memory hanging over me, which is my curse and a blessing as well. I never forget things. The summer of 2005, I think of warm, dry, weeks in New Jersey, a balmy few days in the mountains of California, afternoons at the pool, and posting on Uber for the first time.
This upcoming summer is looking to be mixed bag. One one hand a real misery, due to a lot of reasons outside my control. Still, I'm trying to make the best of things and try to have a positive outlook. Where two months ago I would have thought of myself as blessed, happy, free, and optimistic, now I can't seem to escape a deep and lingering depression, and the times are rare when I smile. I've lost the will to write and play music, for the most part. Still, I find myself stronger despite it all. Everyone, I guess, needs pain once in a while, just to appreciate better the times of happiness.
So there's no dramatic goodbye post, but I'm not hanging around here as much. Got shit to do mannnnnn...but yeah, things have been pretty weird since 2008 started. I think I've learned more in the last six months than in my whole adolescence. I've known what true pleasure and true pain are, as well as how to tell your true friends from people who just are around in your life.
There are probably some good writers on here nowadays, but most of the people i liked are gone, as well as the community that drew me into this site in the first place. I'd link some of my lesser-reviewed posts or writers I like, but it kinda feels unnecessary.
I'm just looking forward to going to college, and putting a lot of stuff behind me. It doesn't mean I'm gonna forget it, or that the people who used to mean a lot won't mean a lot anymore, but it's just a new start in life. I'll always remember these last few months of my senior year. A lot of stuff happened, a lot of hearts broke, and a lot of crazy shit happened in the early hours of mornings. I love everyone around me, no matter how hard things get.
There's a quote I found by John Milton that I've grown to love. It sums up a lot of what's on my mind.
"Long is the way, and hard, that out of hell leads up to light."
So anyway, I'll still be lurking in the shadows. Might post something nostalgic and emo every so often, that seems to be my specialty. Good luck to everyone out there, whoever may be reading this. Much love.
~Axolotl
AU Class of 2012
*one of the funniest picture i've ever seen attached*
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-06-10 15:25:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-10 10:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-06-10 09:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It looks like an error but it's not really.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-06-10 09:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shut up, cunt.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-06-10 02:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't mean what I said Axle! I was drunk and tired and cranky and it is okay if you want to get all misty-eyed aboot stuff.
It would still be cool if you devolved into a crazy person though.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-09 22:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Cocksucker below
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-09 22:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You rock, 'lotl.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-06-09 21:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It is only a matter of time before Axle becomes a drug addict and a rapist and a blight on all lives that he touches.
If he's lucky.
If he's unlucky he'll turn into one of those boring, pretentious, motherfuckers who insist on staring back on anything and everything with false wistfulness. He'll only break from this activity to wallow in self satisfaction stemming from his ability to add going to the gym to his weekly routine.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-06-09 21:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are like a literate PerkMan
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hahaha. Plus didn't you 'leave' once before?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-09 19:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good luck axolotl
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-06-09 17:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awwwwwwwww... I remember that!
life is much better on the other side of 30. Good luck, check in...
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-06-09 17:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-06-09 01:31:22 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So how many times have you fucked Method's Mom in the past three years?
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<3
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That's not very many
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-06-09 17:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thumbs up from my camp.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-09 17:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-09 14:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-09 13:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are far too young to be so nostalgic.
University will be the most fun you're ever going to have.
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Or, if you work it right, as fun as college can be, perhaps you will have even more concentrated fun after you graduate. I did. Still am, 17 years after graduating.
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Me too. 17 1/2 years anyway. Although there were some really shitty years mixed in there somewhere. C'est la vie.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-06-09 16:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It will be 4 years for me this fall. It's hard to believe that this site has been the only real constant in my life during that time.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2008-06-09 16:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're heading into some of the best years of your life. Sure, some people from high school you'll never talk to again, but they'll be replaced with much better people.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2008-06-09 14:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was pretty disappointed by the picture.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-09 14:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-09 13:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are far too young to be so nostalgic.
University will be the most fun you're ever going to have.
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Or, if you work it right, as fun as college can be, perhaps you will have even more concentrated fun after you graduate. I did. Still am, 17 years after graduating.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-09 13:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are far too young to be so nostalgic.
University will be the most fun you're ever going to have.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-06-09 11:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm guilty, I guess, of thinking too much, or reflecting, or even drowning in certain thoughts. I have a heavy sense of nostalgia and memory hanging over me, which is my curse and a blessing as well. I never forget things.
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I know that feeling. Get used to it, it'll be there FOREVER.
The only way to even temporarily disable it is to use copious amounts of drugs/alcohol, which only worsens it by adding regretful memories to the mix once you get sober.
Bottom line: You're screwed, that's life, get over it.
Oh, and welcome to the next step up to the "real world" that lies outside of an educational atmosphere. Soon you'll become jaded and forget that you once had hopes and dreams, settle into a career that while you don't hate it, you far from love it, get married, have a few kids, grow old at the same or similar job, and then die.
Keep hope alive!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-09 11:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Perkman Jr.
Or, Sr.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-06-09 10:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you've only been here two months longer than I have yet you have over 400,000 more hits.
you must be much more interesting than I.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-09 09:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you're still where I think you are we should meet at the boats for a few drinks or just come up to madison. oh, wait... you're so young that doesn't even work does it? oh well.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-06-09 08:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Has perkman got hold of this axlotl alter?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-06-09 08:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My 3 year mark is rapidly approaching also but I'm fucked if it's going to inspire me to post.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-06-09 08:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You'll be back.
Whenever somebody makes a "goodbye" post, they come back. If you weren't still attached somehow, you wouldn't need to say goodbye, you'd just dissappear.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-09 04:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So anyway, I'll still be lurking in the shadows. Might post something nostalgic and emo every so often, that seems to be my specialty. Good luck to everyone out there, whoever may be reading this. Much love.
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On completion of reading this post I have to re-evaluate my score.
You got ell emo, nostalgic and unneccessary.
Post/don't post. END. OF. STORY.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-09 03:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a heavy sense of nostalgia and memory hanging over me, which is my curse and a blessing as well. I never forget things. The summer of 2005, I think of warm, dry, weeks in New Jersey, a balmy few days in the mountains of California, afternoons at the pool, and posting on Uber for the first time.
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And one day you'll be dead.
A right cunt isn't it?!
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-06-09 01:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm older than you, but still young......expect things to get even more complicated! have fun!
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-06-09 01:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83945
Auto +1 semi-acceptably-relevant Uberversary.
Good luck at school, young gun. You'll find yourself with a bunch of free time I suspect, and a lot of new sides to your story.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-06-09 00:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is Bubba still trying to touch you in that special place?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-06-08 23:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus, yanks love to have a pull, dont they?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-08 22:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now, I thought the premise of motivational poster comedy was as follows:
In the originals, the top, larger part of the text would be a single word or short phrase that stood alone and evoked it's own meaning or sensation. The second, explanatory sentence would extend that original meaning and (in the originals) give some sort of motivational message.
For example, one of the originals would look like:
Initiative
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds
For that reason, a humourous revision of the genre should take that formula and subvert it, so that you can make a joke in one of two ways, either;
1. Have an word in the top line with positive connotations but make the descriptive sentence subversive, eg:
Heroes
Because us cowards need someone to absorb enemy fire.
2. Less impressive, have the top line negative with the bottom line an explanatory sentence. The result of this is that it is a total subversion of the inspirational poster. For example:
Laziness
If i haven't seen as far as others, it is because there were giants standing on my shoulders.
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Now, the way most people are approaching these posters (see that abomination on "most viewed" as well as the current example) completely does away with that format. Someone just finds a photo and writes a caption that is split into two lines. It's not that caption humour can't be funny, it's that it makes the "Motivational Poster" format unnecessary, distracting and actually detracts from the funniness.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-08 22:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I'm pretty new here so I had to go back and look at your first post. Wow!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68171
You're a hell of a good writer. Keep it up.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2008-06-08 22:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yesterday was my 5th year anniversary on Uber.
And I know what you're feeling... And don't worry, you're in much better shape than PerkMan.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-06-08 21:23:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
current music interests:
Circa Survive
Chris Brown
Weeeeeeeeezy
Senses Fail
Opeth
you know you're a total tool when you hit play on your ipod car player with your friends in the car and "I kissed a girl and I liked it" starts blasting.
_______________
Sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks.
Good luck at AU, seems like a great place for political science or anything related...do well so maybe you can move up in the DC colleges in a year or two.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-06-08 21:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In the sleepy west of the woody east
is a valley full, full o' pioneer
we're not just kids, to say the least
we got ideas to us that's dear
like capitalist, like communist
like lots of things you've heard about
and redneckers they get us pissed
and stupid stuff it makes us shout
oh dance with me oh don't be shy
oh kiss me cunt oh kiss me cock
oh kiss the world oh kiss the sky
oh kiss my ass oh let it rock
of the april birds and the may bee
oh baby
it's educational!
<3
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-06-08 21:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have pretty shit taste in music still. But you have time. If you aren't listening to good stuff by the time you graduate college then it'll be time to hang up the headphones and slit your wrists.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As long as you keep posting videos, we're cool.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:41:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-08 19:33:03 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are like a literate PerkMan
lol
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are like a literate PerkMan
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lmao wow holy shit...i think you're right
i have to seriously evaluate my life right now.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are like a literate PerkMan
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:31:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So how many times have you fucked Method's Mom in the past three years?
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<3
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
current music interests:
Circa Survive
Chris Brown
Weeeeeeeeezy
Senses Fail
Opeth
you know you're a total tool when you hit play on your ipod car player with your friends in the car and "I kissed a girl and I liked it" starts blasting.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-06-08 20:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So how many times have you fucked Method's Mom in the past three years?