Paying it forward, or "happy birthday scourge" (1348 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.55 on 60 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2008-06-06 15:07:16 EDT
As the last person to receive a birthday post - or at least the last A-List recipient that anyone cares about - I feel it's my civic duty to return the favor in kind. Today is scourgeoftheseas' birthday, and while normally I would write a 200-line poem with more namedrops than a Dennis Miller interview I'm showing restraint this year in favor of another approach.
But before that, I'd like to point out that the St. Louis Cardinals are currently sniffing the assholes of the Chicago Cubs right now. In the Iditarod of the NL Central race, the Cubs are breathing fresh air and the lowly, limp-penised Cards are smelling what the Cubs had for lunch yesterday. This will come as no surprise to anyone with a pulse, but the Cardinals also have a worse record than YOUR 2007 World Champion Boston Red Sox. This is to be expected, as Cardinals hitters have as much trouble finding infield gaps as they do the clitoris.
Anyway, that's neither here nor there really. What is here and there is that scourge is another year older and the world is celebrating with him. Below are quotes pulled from today's e-headlines that reveal what the anonymous corners of the world have to say about this historic event. Some will fall in line what you, the Uber public, have come to think about him. Some will doubtless surprise you. Others may make you concerned. But that is not for me to determine. That is for you to determine. And it's for the birthday boy to enjoy.
So, scourgeoftheseas, THIS is what the Internets has to say about you on your very special day:
Scourge is blatantly not attacking Buddhists and it's attitudes such as yours that cause all this ridiculous religious tension shit.
Scourge is fast becoming an unwanted, frequent-stay hotel guest.
Scourge is an insecticide used to kill adult mosquitoes.
Scourge is arrested over flight incident.
Scourge is the brutal and awesomely powerful ruler of the Jungle Planet.
Scourge is not complete.
Scourge is a musical project by me Malek Arthas Hijazi.
Scourge is leaving millions of children worldwide without parents.
Scourge is a well-written, informative history of the eradication of smallpox.
Haitian American Marc Bamuthi Joseph describes Scourge as a "full-length work of hip-hop theater."
Scourge is a completely different ballgame.
Scourge is not one man but a series of many individuals.
Scourge is all about building up to a big payoff.
Scourge is more deadly than war.
Scourge is starting to see what Fiona was talking about.
Scourge is well balanced had has some decent poseability overall.
Scourge is much bluer than the rest.
Scourge is the dreaded Meat Wagon.
Scourge is just there for show.
The Chav Scourge is growing in the UK.
Scourge is an evil rat who is trying to take over Redwall.
Scourge is two monsters in one!
Scourge is the cops' next target.
Scourge is a waste of precious Vespene Gas.
Scourge is a fast cast skill.
Scourge is DEAD!
Scourge is actually a bottle opener.
Scourge is on your wish list!
Scourge is not very toxic following short-term exposure.
Scourge is not enough to kill the trout.
Scourge is being examined by humans.
Scourge is unambiguously condemned as a villain by the superhero community.
SCOURGE IS THE BEST TRANSFORMER IN THE BEGINNING!
Scourge is best known for his tracking abilities.
Scourge is now online!
Scourge is purely speculation.
Scourge is a race of insectoid aliens occupying a universe on a higher dimensional plane.
Scourge is the leading force behind the overgrowth of evil.
Scourge is the guy who kicked the dude.
Scourge is finally talking to me again.
Scourge is the final release of the Onslaught Block.
Scourge is sitting pretty and ready for presentation.
Scourge is as much the soundtrack to a mosh pit as Exodus was fifteen years ago.
Scourge is destroying the pineapple crop.
A way to deal with Scourge is to set up Photon Cannons around your perimeter and if you see Scourge coming move any air units inside your base.
SCOURGE IS REACHING EPIDEMIC PROPORTIONS.
Scourge is clogging inboxes around the country.
Scourge is secured to his similarly reinforced tray by six twist-ties.
Scourge is a misunderstood Creature.
Scourge is not for you.
Warning: Pub Squash below.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-06-10 15:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-06-10 15:30:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-10 09:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
scourge! happy birthday.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-09 13:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday Scourge. Might have done it sooner but I've been away all weekend. Hope you had a good one!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-08 15:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, and i'm nearly always being facetious.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-08 15:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
um...great scourge.
i'm pretty happy too for the record.
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2008-06-08 13:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 Scourge.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-08 11:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles, you are incapable of "taking back Uber." You're lucky you can take a crap.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-08 10:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87005 Pedophiles are my biggest audience.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-08 10:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-07 10:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-06 18:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
doodles has over 100,000 hits? how? none of his posts seems to have more than 7 reviews or a few hundred hits and his rating is negative yet he's averaging nearly 3000 hits per post?
no offense but i'm confused.
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Prolly scripted his hits. It's not that hard to do.
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Google hits actually the majority of my posts have 3-4 thousand and I think I have two over ten thousand. Either way the point is I'm super fucking amazing and if we're going to 'take back uber' you need to get on my level.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-06-07 18:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot one
Also, needs more Hookhand
http://tinyurl.com/68tcnm
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-07 17:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i never know when you are being facetious or not apollo, but i can say that my life right now suits me JUST fine. which is nice, because i've had some hard fucking knocks along the way and it's about time i got mine.
i am a happy motherfucker.
i wake up every day and feel overwhelmed by how good my life really is.
knowing what little i do about this existence, i'm going to bask in how great i really do have it right now.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-07 12:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
scourge's life is so much better than mine.
:(
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-07 10:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you think rad made MVA?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-07 10:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-06 18:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
doodles has over 100,000 hits? how? none of his posts seems to have more than 7 reviews or a few hundred hits and his rating is negative yet he's averaging nearly 3000 hits per post?
no offense but i'm confused.
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Prolly scripted his hits. It's not that hard to do.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-06-07 06:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-07 02:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for my birthday i got:
1.) tickets to see tom waits in st. louis. second time seeing him. badass. you're all fucking jealous, aren't you? yes, yes you are.
===
!!!
feety wanted to cover a Tom Waits song for you, but I didn't have the heart to tell him his voice isn't gravely enough just yet.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-07 04:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
happy birthday scourge, you sexy bugger. :)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-07 02:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for my birthday i got:
1.) tickets to see tom waits in st. louis. second time seeing him. badass. you're all fucking jealous, aren't you? yes, yes you are.
2.) an awesome compendium of diane arbus print quality pics. equally badass.
3.) a bottle of scotch.
4.) some awesome new glassware to drink my fucking yummy scotch.
5.) robbed of a fucking bomb i blasted in a softball game that we ended up getting schooled in anyway, but still... first loss this season. seriously, the dickhead was at the fence and barely snowconed it, bobbled it out, and then barely grabbed it right before it was going to hit the ground. easy in the park HR, but NO. fuck you right center fielder, fuck you. :(
6.) laid.
as we can see from this list of fucking awesome things, minus number 5, i am much more well loved by my family than any of you. you're all insanely jealous and rightly so.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-07 01:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM druk
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-07 01:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oops
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-07 01:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
happy b-day scourge. i love you but not like you think.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-06 23:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-06 18:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Birthday cat is required for a birthday, it is an uber by-law. As an A-lister you should know this.
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STFU noob
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Considering we have roughly the same amount of hits, I don't think such harsh words are justified. No?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-06 22:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a) you are B list
b) see above.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-06-06 22:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-06 18:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
doodles has over 100,000 hits? how? none of his posts seems to have more than 7 reviews or a few hundred hits and his rating is negative yet he's averaging nearly 3000 hits per post?
no offense but i'm confused.
------------------------------------
When you have titles like, "Lisa is a lesbian, and here's pictorial proof!" (or whatever) and "15 Year Old British Whore", you will not only get hits from every horny person on Ubersite, but also everyone in the world who does a Google search for "15 year old British whore" or any combination thereof. It's an old trick to get hits.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-06 21:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
For some reason, one of his horseshit posts has 37000 hits.
No idea in hell as to why or how.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-06 18:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
doodles has over 100,000 hits? how? none of his posts seems to have more than 7 reviews or a few hundred hits and his rating is negative yet he's averaging nearly 3000 hits per post?
no offense but i'm confused.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-06 18:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Birthday cat is required for a birthday, it is an uber by-law. As an A-lister you should know this.
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STFU noob
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-06 18:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i know all about old covelli. he was an almost cardinal once upon a time.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-06 17:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and his name is fucking Coco Crisp! wtf?
is he breakfast cereal or a man?
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Covelli Loyce Crisp.
I think even "Coco" is a better choice than either of his given names. At least if your name is Coco the bullies will laugh while kicking your ass at school, exhausting them faster and sparing you some punishment.
No wonder he's speedy.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-06-06 17:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, filename, I helped!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and his name is fucking Coco Crisp! wtf?
is he breakfast cereal or a man?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ps, i haven't hit that shit yet because untl recently pandas were thought to be more closely related to raccoons than bears. and who wants to fuck a giant raccoon? gross. but now that we're firmly (haha, firm) into the world of Ursidae it's a definite go.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm in a quandary here. this post is about my favourite topic, me, so i want to +2 it. but it goes on to badmouth my beloved Cardinals, which should be a bannable offense.
me.
Cardinals.
me.
Cardinals.
what to do, what to do...
here's the thing, for a team that was slated by EVERYONE to be dead last in their division to have the (tied for) fourth best record in baseball right now is pretty fucking impressive, if not at all surprising to me. add that the Cubs have had an easy fucking schedule so far with no interleague play, only one series against St. Louis (which they lost miserably), and then a ton of series against basement dwellers in every other division, and i'm not that impressed with them. it won't last in any case. that big 'C' stands as much for choke as it does anything else, and just like every other year, they'll choke and choke spectacularly.
and Boston? pffft...Tampa Bay (who St. Louis also spanked, btw.) will take first back from you guys soon enough.
also, Coco Crisp fights like a girl.
anyway, i guess we'll go with a +2 for the me portion of this post, a -2 for the Cardinals piece, a +2 for Lish making you her bitch, and a +2 if you can get me that panda's phone number.
we'll round up.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Necessitas 13.996 pesos, obstaculito.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:18:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tengo el derecho de autor en español, también.
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But I can afford 1.35 pesos. El Gato de cumpleaños por favor.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
May I be the 37 1/2th person to begrudgingly wish you a Happy birthday.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PS he HAS fucked that bear
i think i saw it on youtube.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bearfucking narc
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tengo el derecho de autor en español, también.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Or Gato de cumpleaños I think. Matching gender and all that.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gata de cumpleaños then
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well shit, looks like I just got put in my place huh.
You owe me $1.35 for every time you say "birthday cat" by the way, as it's my intellectual property.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Birthday cat is required for a birthday, it is an uber by-law. As an A-lister you should know this.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Speaking of Bearfuckers and Birthday Cat...
http://www.wiskate.com/news/data/upimages/Happy+birthday+cat.gif
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No birthday cat? srsly?
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I've done Birthday Cat what, 2.5 times?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/71938
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100252
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91074
Yep, 2.5 times. I think that's quite enough for everyone.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's the pop pop pop pop pop?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No birthday cat? srsly?
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loverly.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He is ace.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scourge is not for you.
Neither is his birthday.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't read the entire list - as if I ever really read a post besides the ones I post - but did you mention "scourge is fat" anywhere?
YOUR RATING DEPENDS ON IT.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scourge is unambiguously condemned as a villain by the superhero community.
HAPPY BIRFDAY.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sonic is my new favorite character in Super Smash Bros. That is all I have to say on the matter.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:22:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Oh look, the one bear you havent fucked yet, Bearfucker"
IS THE BEST LINE EVAR!
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It's a testament to his tenacious approach to bearfucking, as well as the survival instincts of the giant panda.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:22:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEA BRAIN!!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:22:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Oh look, the one bear you havent fucked yet, Bearfucker"
IS THE BEST LINE EVAR!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:15:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thoroughly enjoyable
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAAAAAAAAAAAAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SCOURGEY