The Bad, The Ugly & The Retarded - Part Two (NSFWish) (1539 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 1.3 on 82 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (View user info) at 2008-06-06 03:57:24 EDT
Part One: http://www.ubersite.com/m/117053
I really hope someone points out that they've seen some of these before, I genuinely tried to create something original by scanning and uploading all of these personally, I hope I don't disappoint this time.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-17 15:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, Hurty.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-16 16:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Attaboy!
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-06-16 16:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is shit, pretty much.
Submitted by Off_The_Wagon (user info) at 2008-06-11 03:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, part 2. Keep them coming.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-06-10 15:32:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-06-10 15:32:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-06-08 19:07:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You found my album!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-07 06:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Swede's checklist:
-Kill the children
-Fuck the babe
-Eat lunch.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-06 23:34:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i own, and like, that flaming lips cd.
i also like this post, and t'other one.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-06 23:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Filename, pedophile.
"Amazing recordings of demons speaking through people who are possessed by them." You could say that about this place.
Submitted by billjenkins13090 (user info) at 2008-06-06 13:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
crossed-eyed = possessed by crying demons
must suck
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-06-06 13:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't remember, but I believe there is a case regarding the nature of the Scorpions album cover, to decide whether it consists of Child Pornography.
If that is the case, then you've just condemmed the entirity of the UK population who read this post to jail as pedophiles.
Thanks.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-06 12:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I larfed. Several times, in fact.
Hooray for me.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-06-06 11:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. Simply amazing.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-06-06 10:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have that Deerhoof album and I hate it
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-06-06 09:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, the one that really got me is the guy aiming his cock-spotlight at his buddy. And I Eat Kids and Bobcat: I'm Cool are gems.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah. Yes, congrats on boning chicks while they thought of me!
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that he is a scorpion fan and that you left out that faggot singer from jewdas priest
did i mention the mask?
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I have to listen to Dance of Death again.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:47:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HerrSchniedelwichs (user info) at 2008-06-06 13:45:25 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 For the iron maiden one. Yeah, that's a bad cover, but your posting of the DOD cover reveals an unsurprising suckiness of your music tastes. Fag
==========
What the fuck does that even mean?
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The hurty mask got me laid
+2 irregardless of any crock of shit that he may post
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Exactly what labels are usually for, tagging your favourite posts (ie, all of mine) for easy access.
For example, these are 300 gifs I have labeled for my own amusement: http://www.ubersite.com/u/HurtByTheSun/l/300
Submitted by HerrSchniedelwichs (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:45:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 For the iron maiden one. Yeah, that's a bad cover, but your posting of the DOD cover reveals an unsurprising suckiness of your music tastes. Fag
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lots of hidden learning on this site. I always thought it meant Rate this iten versus label this item. Never bothered checking it out.
While you're on a roll, wtf are the labels for then?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:40:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Banjo, you tool, you know that little arrow next to the 'Rate this Item' link? Yeah, click that.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:40:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*page down page down page down*
You have a clitoris now, don't take they're mockings to heart, you've joined the elite.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
@ 300 DPI, my meat is 2400 pixels long, and in 8-bit RGB it has a reddish tinge to it. I just hit command+U and take down the magenta plate and the yellow plate to normal saturation.
Then I put an unsharp mask on it and accented the shadows so all the veins would throb, then applied a bevel and emboss. I saved the file as a .eps, dragged it into adobe acrobat distiller, which turned it into a .PDF and now I have a hi-res file of my Johnson that's only 127k.
YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING NERDS!!!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know, it's come as quite a shock. Regardless of what I put, I'm fairly certain that all of Uber will mock my honesty with their 12" dongs.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thought you weren't due the snip for another couple of months. Very brave.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Only three :(
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
300 of course
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What DPI?
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A very geeky question just sprung to mind and a possibility for F.J's revised cock post.
How many pixels is your cock Hurty, we can use yours to benchmark the rest.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK to give you an indication of size, altogether the hundred album covers were 35000 pixels long. The Berlin Wall picture is 51400 wide.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go ahead, I dare ya, in fact I double dare ya
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:16:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have got a stitched together version of the Berlin wall that would probably be the biggest side scrolling image ever. I could post that to really piss you off!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only thing that pisses me off about these posts is the amount of scrolling down there is to do.
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laziest person. Ever.
Period.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anytime, try sideways scrolling next time, that'll really piss me off I might even drop you a point.
Do love the album art though.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What? The greatest compilation of bad album covers on the WHOLE of the internet, and you're moaning about it? Cheers mate.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only thing that pisses me off about these posts is the amount of scrolling down there is to do.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funky Honky, Nasty Nigger
That is life. Those four words describe my whole life in a nutshell.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(Smug)
Oh dear god, do babies look like that when they come out? Ugh.
I hate FallOutBoy.
Yes, very good.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'It is well known, that among the blind the one-eyed man is king,' Gerard Didier Erasmus
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am doing it, I am doing it! Oh God, I am a genius!
Orphelia fuckin' Hawkins!!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Solidarity is a beautiful thing Banjo!
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-06-06 11:13:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
They put a blind guy in BB? Does he have a dog? A cane? I hope he falls in the pool, even if he is Scottish.
----------------
Blind guy on BB to win! Blind guy FTW!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:10:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're goddamn right it's worth it! I spent hours carefully scanning and arranging these beauties for you!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look Hurty, do you recall how long it took me to install MSN?
I was sure that page didn't work, I had to go on Yahoo answers and ask that bunch of retards what I was doing wrong, you didn't know. All it was is that my pop up blocker was blocking the download.
Days gone missing and for what??
But, if you insist this post is worth it, I'll give it ago. DEDIfuckinCATION.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 06:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Prettier than your mugshot
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 06:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It doesn't get much easier than this:
http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-06 06:46:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought the first line you posted was awesome, but this line is just amazing.
Why, are we meant to see somethng other than this line?
:P
(Please, don't tell me to upgrade or install something, I am blonde and over 30 - there is no hope for me)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 06:45:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'Lines'? Huh?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-06 06:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of the entire Ubersite base, *you* do the best lines.
I <3 your lines.
+2 perfect line.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 06:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He has a cane and he's apparently a stand up comic. Looking at his face is enough to provoke a guffaw from even the most politically correct of fellows.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-06-06 06:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
They put a blind guy in BB? Does he have a dog? A cane? I hope he falls in the pool, even if he is Scottish.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone should air-fuel bomb Davina McCall.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now it'll be watching those Big Brother arseholes sleeping.
I watched the launch show last night and the lads chosen to represent Scotland are the biggest buftie I've seen in my life and a fucking blind guy. Awesome.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 10:17:56 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Series of bizaaaaaah murdaaaaaahs.
That show is awesome, I'd completely forgotten about it.
---------------
Late nights on channel four are rubbish these days. A few years ago it was all mad shit like Vids, Adam and Jo, Bits and whatever shitty Anime they could lay their hands on that was usually so awful it was compelling (Eg Legend of the Four Kings)
These days: Hollyoaks. *shudder*
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There are no hospitals here, if you're foolish enough to get broken, they just shoot you or send you to Sunderland or Middlesbrough.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My grandad who lived in Newcastle Upon Tyne came out to a "farmhouse" with us over Christmas some years ago and was worried about his distance from the nearest hospital. We were 33 miles out of Newcastle :/.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:28:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
okay.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God
------------
My Nan lives 30 mins away from me 'in the middle of nowhere'.
Leave us be... it makes us think we have countryside and don't all live in one anothers pockets.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:22:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What? No, that was aimed at TTOM, just a little late.
Titties FTW though.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:19:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How can somewhere in Wales be "isolated as fuck"? Wouldn't the most far flung point be, like 10 hours from London? That's closer than my local Aussie supermarket.
-------------
WHO THE FUCK ASKED YOU TO ADD CONTEXT TO THIS DICUSSION!?
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are we even talking to one another at the moment?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:19:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How can somewhere in Wales be "isolated as fuck"? Wouldn't the most far flung point be, like 10 hours from London? That's closer than my local Aussie supermarket.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Series of bizaaaaaah murdaaaaaahs.
That show is awesome, I'd completely forgotten about it.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it* was a long drive
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dated a girl in Wales for a few years who incidentally had massive tits, she lived in Bridgend. Man if was a LONG fucking drive from London.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.dogsizedcat.com/content/view/142/15/
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was at this place called Druidstone Haven which is near Haverfordwest in the deep deep South of Wales. It's isolated as fuck and has stunning scenery; it's literally a hotel perched on a big fucking cliff. That part was awesome, getting a train from Cardiff? Not so much as it's probably the most stupidly designed station in the world.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
True, but the Welsh are good at beer (Brains), rubgy, and music (Skindred, Manic Street Preachers, Budgie) so they confuse me a great deal. I also spent a weekend in Wales recently, and it was awesome. Is there something wrong with me?
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Yes there is something very wrong with you.
Super Furry Animals and Stereophonis AND a member of Velvet Underground (clutching at staws) were/are all Welsh.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
The first place I ever visited in Wales was Portmerrion where they filmed The Prisoner. It surprises me not that most Welshmen Ive met are slightly odd (Or stark raving lunatics eg Nige from Vids) when their towns are mind-fuck mazes.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
True, but the Welsh are good at beer (Brains), rubgy, and music (Skindred, Manic Street Preachers, Budgie) so they confuse me a great deal. I also spent a weekend in Wales recently, and it was awesome. Is there something wrong with me?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 09:56:11 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Given that most metal bands have names that imply violence and misogyny, I wonder where these guys went wrong. They're also Welsh.
---------------
Answered your own question there pal
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-06 05:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ARMED FORCES WORKOUT - *Instruction Poster Included*
You don't have a copy of the poster by any chance?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 04:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Budgie album cover is from an album called, um, Budgie. It's called 'Bandolier' and it's pretty fucking awesome. The name would be fine for some kind of foppish dandy band, unfortunately they rock pretty hard. Given that most metal bands have names that imply violence and misogyny, I wonder where these guys went wrong. They're also Welsh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24151xdCxK0&feature=related
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-06-06 04:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I preferred the first lot, mostly because of the Christian Crusaders.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-06 04:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The hook hand got you a +1
Planet of the budgies got you another
OMFG DOEZ THAT DUDORZ HAS THE HA HA RABBIT AS HIS CHEST TAT?!//!?11/1/?!one!eleventy?/!Backslash!?
Bobcat you are not cool
Jazz flute?
I love the word cockahoop
END
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-06-06 04:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was like, good gracious ass is bodacious
Uh, flirtatcious, tryin' to show patience
Lookin' for the right time to shoot my steam
Waitin' for the right time to flash them keys
Then... um I'm leavin', please believin'
Oh, Me and the rest of my heathens
Check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons
Penthouse, roof top, birds are feedin'
No deceivin, nothin up my sleeve and, no teasin'
I need you to get up up on the dance floor
Give that man what he askin for (oh)
Cuz I feel like bustin' loose and I feel like touchin' you (ah, ah)
And can't nobody stop the juice so baby tell me whats the use
I said...
It's gettin' hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes
I am gettin' so hot, I wanna take my clothes off
Oh
Let it hang all out
Why you at the bar if you aint poppin the bottles
What good is all the fame if you aint fuckin the models?
I see you drivin, sportscar, aint hittin the throttle
And I be down, and do a hundred, top down and goggles
Get off the freeway, exit 106 and parked it
Ash tray, think its time to spark it,
Gucci collar for dollar, got out and walked it
I spit game cuz baby I cant talk it
Warm, sweatin' its hot up in this joint
VOKAL tanktop, on at this point
Your with a winner so baby you cant lose
I got secrets cant leave Cancun
So take it off like your home alone
You know dance in front your mirror while your on the phone
Checkin your reflection and tellin' your best friend,
like "girl I think my butt gettin' big"
We're gettin' so hot,
we're gonna take our clothes off...
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-06 04:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
An Aussie artist recently got all his works confiscated because they contained nude images of 13 year old girls.
Today, the Department of Public Prosecutions decided there was no case with which to charge him, because child pornography had to "sexualise" the child, and his art didn't do that.
Some fuckwitted woman got on the news and said: "This is a joyous day for pedophiles" or something to that effect which made me LOL.