Suzie (1196 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.85 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tiger Lilly (View user info) at 2008-05-31 02:49:24 EDT
"I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
and I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are"
The day I turned 15 I couldn't wait until my 16th birthday. Then, I would finally be able to drive without my parents criticizing every turn or move I made; my mom especially. She treated me like a child and I hated driving with her. I hated being anywhere near her and we would fight. I was always told we butt heads because we were so much alike. Still, I was a lot like my father too and he would just half grin and nod his head back and forth in disapproval like he'd always did. But my mom, my mom, I hated my mom. I remember she would grab my chin and stair me straight me in the eyes with her devil eyes. She hated me. She was going to kill me with her devil eyes.
My mom was my mom and until the glorious day, the day I finally would have freedom I would sneak out of my bedroom window at night. Sometimes I'd bring my friends out there too. It was like our own little special place where we could talk, get high and talk about boys we crushed on. We'd dream about our futures outside of high school and on that roof anything seemed possible yet we felt as though we were worlds away from everyone and everything.
I don't believe my mom, dad or anyone ever caught onto our little weekend ritual. Frankly, it wouldn't matter if they did. I do know one thing though; I have never laughed liked I did nights out on that roof. So young and so naïve we were going to attend the same state college as roommates and were going to have the coolest room on campus. Our silly pipedreams got us through high school. Only three years away and we could hardly wait. At 15, three years, might've been a hundred.
~
My mom called me on my 20th birthday while I was at college. She left a message on my answering machine to wish me a happy birthday. I didn't return her call.
I spent that night with my friends I met at college. Too young to celebrate at the local pub, they surprised me with a party in the basement of my boyfriend's fraternity, Phi Kappa Sigma. I can still remember the stench of cigarette smoke, stale beer and vomit hitting me; WHAM in the face - making their way up my nostrils as I made my way down the dark and dingy cement cellar stairs. From the darkness below I could hear my wasted, inconspicuous friends and the others trying to remain quiet - an attempt to surprise me.
The 'dungeon' was foul and nasty yet we spent most nights in his clutches getting trashed and stoned on some 'new' couch found hours before on the side of the road. Someone else's recycled garbage became our treasure and eventually another's. There must have been DNA samples from half the college on those 'new' couches by the time Phi Kappa returned them to the streets. Still, and despite how disgusting the place was, it was all we had until we turned 21.
I'll never forget that birthday, when later that night once the keg kicked and the music stopped, the house was empty and my boyfriend gave me the most 'amazing birthday present,' ever. Then, he passed out next to me taking the covers and my dignity with him. I got out of bed, slipped on my Gap jeans and favorite worn out Champion sweatshirt and opened the window. I crept out onto the roof and spent the rest of my birthday thinking about college graduation and the beginning my 'real' life; meeting the man of my dreams, working and buying a couch.
The rest of that night I spent looking down from the roof and I started playing 'connect the blue and red plastic party cups.' The yard was decorated with tossed debris, empty beer bottles and cigarette butts which accumulated with every intoxicated passer by. Coming from the room above was a brother and some sorority sister he'd chosen for the night. Like the night before and the night before that, his familiar rhythm and rhetoric became as stale as the smell of the dungeon.
That night, while looking at the stars I couldn't help but think about my high school friends my parents especially my mother. I missed all of them. It seemed like a hundred years had passed since I'd seen them.
My one wish was that they were all with me that night but birthday wishes don't always come true.
~
"I'm 33 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are"
My thirties flew by in what seemed like a blink of an eye. I had no real friend's anymore; rather corporate ladder competition. Corporate ladder or not, it seemed all the women around me were having children. Commercials on TV: diapers, formula, baby shampoo - various toys.
I hadn't seen my own parents in years nor ever had children of my own. In between business trips and my career I lost touch with them. My life had become one board meeting; one conference call after another and I lost sight of the important things in life - friends and family.
I took a day off the same day I saw in the mirror the reflection of a girl who looked a lot like me. It was that same day I came to grips with the reality that I was no longer the young vibrant woman that I once was.
While splashing cold water on my face; I looked up at my reflection. That was the day I buried my mother; three days before my birthday. She had had cancer. My job kept me very busy and away from the hospital and I was unable to visit her or say goodbye. That was the same day I truly felt guilt. The same mother I couldn't wait to get away from was now the one I couldn't get back. The one I didn't call back on my birthday. It hit me, WHAM in the face that she was gone. I could never call her or see her again. I haven't cried like I did the day we buried my mother.
Life went on.
Two years later my father died.
~
"I'm 45 for a moment
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on..."
The day I saw my parents again was a day I'll never forget. Neither of them had changed much. My father; exactly the same with his half grin and head nod just stood there looking at me shaking his head back and forth while my mom with her criticizing tongue commented on my entrance. And treating me like the child she always did she grabbed my chin in her hand, stared at me with her devil eyes put her around my shoulder and walked me through the gate.
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2008-08-05 17:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. this was exceptional.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-06-03 05:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-06-02 21:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-02 06:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just cannot be botherd to read this.
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And yet you bothered to comment, wasting 3-4 seconds of your life you'll never get back.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-02 16:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
on second thought, I think candy coated madness is a better description. Mum is, after all, quite pale.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-02 16:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mum called again. Again I didn't pick up. I'm sure I'm a lousy kid, but guilt is easier to deal with than the chocolate-covered madness that is my mother.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-06-02 14:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Honesty is the best policy.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2008-06-02 14:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Thanks for the mid-life crisis.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-06-02 12:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-02 11:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if Uber has gone soft, but I had a raging hard-on yesterday for about 15 minutes.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-02 06:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just cannot be botherd to read this.
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2008-06-02 06:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think one of my biggest fears about dying is that there won't be anyone I know there - all of my parents and grandparents are still alive... why am I not happy about that right now?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-06-01 23:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ithought this post would bring out the haters? Has uber gone soft?
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-06-01 22:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-06-01 21:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THANKS TOE
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-06-01 13:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I half liked this, I think mainly because it wasn't about your stepsons and your naive attitude as a stepmother.
that wasn't supposed to sound as mean as it came out.
But I like the story.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-01 10:10:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Liked it.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-06-01 02:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-05-31 20:43:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-05-31 19:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-05-31 16:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Both.
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Right on then.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-31 17:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This started off good. But at some point, every character worthy of even the slightest bit of sympathy realizes that the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.
And there'll be no reunion when it's over.
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-05-31 16:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Both.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-05-31 16:10:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh man..did ya at least get drunk or laid??
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-05-31 16:04:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I blew off my great grandma's funeral to go to a keg party. best decision ever.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-05-31 14:07:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-31 08:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The same mother I couldn't wait to get away from was now the one I couldn't get back."
This really did happen. Twenty days after my 20th birthday.
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Ohmygod. That really sucks. I'm so sorry.
This was fiction.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-05-31 13:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done. Uber is dead today.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-05-31 12:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-31 08:20:31 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice ideas.
I have mixed emotions about those mini statue things. I mean some of them, like the guy cradling the baby, are quite sweet. I doubt I'd have them in my home though.
Also, I find the whole college fraternity/sorioty (sp?) thing so very gay.
---
Have you ever watched GrEEk? It's playing on channel 4 (or Channel 4+1?) a lot at the moment and is absolutely crazy - it's like Skins but about fraternities and the like
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-31 11:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am 29 and have absolutely no aspirations beyond trolling Ubersite and making fun of Shlongy.
It's a very liberating existence.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-05-31 10:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhh memories
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-05-31 09:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-31 09:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck are you doing UP at THAT hour?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-05-31 09:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What Slothsucker said...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-31 08:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The same mother I couldn't wait to get away from was now the one I couldn't get back."
This really did happen. Twenty days after my 20th birthday.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-31 08:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm 28, and my sister and in law have a house filled with those odd little statues that kinda freak me out and make me wonder how it could NOT be warping my neice and nephews minds to see people without faces. I'm pretty certain that they made a twilight zone episode about that once, but don't quote me on it.
I live with a wife who, though she comes from upper class, seems more white trash sometimes.
I'm locked into a fixed interest home loan for the next 25 years or so, or until I sell it, burn it down, whatever.
I look back at the hopeful young 20 year old me, and wish I could go back to say, "Sorry, I know now that I should have taken my own advice and become an apprentice to a Ted Kazynski-esque recluse, never married, and been content with a life of poverty in the sometimes great outdoors."
But wishes rarely come true (Or replace this line with whatever your cliche'd one was, I couldn't remember it at this point, so maybe it's not so cliche' after all?)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-31 03:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice ideas.
I have mixed emotions about those mini statue things. I mean some of them, like the guy cradling the baby, are quite sweet. I doubt I'd have them in my home though.
Also, I find the whole college fraternity/sorioty (sp?) thing so very gay.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-05-31 03:03:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"stair" = stare....among other spelling errors. Not Tori though...