I'm not drunk but I'm going to write it like this like I am (1113 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.86 on 56 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (View user info) at 2008-05-28 12:34:17 EDT
I'm fucking bored. seriously and truly fucking bored. I'm so bored I've resorted to doing actual work. that's pretty fucking bad.
How did i end up here you might ask yourself, or you might not. I don't really care if you have or not but I AM going to tell you how I have spent the four hours I'm supposed to have been working so far.
I started my morning by getting up at 6:30. I should really have been leaving the house by then but then i'd be on time and i'd have another whole hour to kill. I took a dump, took a shower, dressed, and packed a lunch. I was on the road at 7:10, already ten minutes late for work. I tred to flow with traffc but traffic is a dirty bitch that jusk makes me want to scream so instead i passed all the slow moving fucktards driving in the left lane by driving in the far right lane where apparently no one wanted to drive this morning. or maybe it was reserved for me. I am kind of a big deal. no matter what the case might be I arrived at work at 7:40 and began my trek from the ramp down two flights of steps through one building a long skywalk type thingy then through another building down two more flights of stairs and finally to my padded cell.
7:50 a.m. I arrive at my desk, kick off my shoes (putting on my slippers and house sweater of course) and take my throne. I log into my computer using my super secret password, log in to Citrix so i can play outside the corporate network and start opening windows. Uber, Gmail, Yahoo mail, and facebook. yes bitches, facebook. I make my moves in my scrabble games and start checking mail. a few emails from the book club, <SKINNY KENNY IF YOU"RE READING THIS SEND ME MY FUCKING BOOK) but otherwise pretty quiet.
My play time is interrupted then by the annoying buzz of my pager alerting me that I have a new case. A server owner has decided that the MS patches we applied broke his shit and he wants them removed ASAP. thankfully this isn't my problem so i forward the case on. I notice then htat i have several other cases that need my attention and decide to go read Uber.
Not much on here today is there? I mean really, a few things of interest but nothing earth shattering. I read through it all commenting where I can or want to and then find myself bored. I check my scrabble games and find it's my turn again but have no more monkey business to do after that and so I work.
I personally like to get paid to shit so I figured it was about time to drop some kids off at the pool. I go to a bathroom a little out of the way in the hopes of enjoying a few moments of solitude. a couple people came into the bathroom and left again and thankfully the blind guy with the dog didn't come in this morning so I was able to shit without that particular interuption.
returning to my desk, I take care of some cases where the user has locked themselves out because they're too dumb to remember where else on the network they're logged in or have jobs running, i take care of a case where ipsec has broken, and finally two cases where the users certificates aren't passing so they can't access any encrypted data.
getting bored with work I return to uber only to find nothing has changed. I finish my scrabble game with my friend and winn that handily 366 to 212 and then have nothing else to do. I haven't posted in a while so thought I would today. I don't have any story ideas though so instead you get this. anyone make it this far? Entertain me bitches. I could work some more and probably will. Writing this the way i have makes it sound like i don't do much at work but I do actually get a lot done i just like to have diversions along the way. Maybe it's time for a sandwich. I already ate my chocolate chip sunbelt granola bar, mmmm.
User Reviews
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-01 20:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you shit a lot
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-05-29 11:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-05-29 09:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuego
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-05-29 09:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuego
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-29 09:08:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-28 20:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-28 17:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 11:44:40 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't play frequently enough to think I would make the MVA and no, i don't really care. I post for my amusement and to kill time. you seem unable to grasp this.
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Only because I think you're one of the few that actually mean this.
========================
One of the few WHO. . . . . . .
Grammatical correctitude.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-28 17:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 11:44:40 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't play frequently enough to think I would make the MVA and no, i don't really care. I post for my amusement and to kill time. you seem unable to grasp this.
=====
Only because I think you're one of the few that actually mean this.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Statistics show that sending me presents is really good for alleviating boredom.
_________________
She has the right idea.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2008-05-28 15:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bong!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:46:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't play frequently enough to think I would make the MVA and no, i don't really care. I post for my amusement and to kill time. you seem unable to grasp this.
===============
What Willie likes to grasp will put him in prison if he is ever caught.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
then you should explain it more slowly so i can understand
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't play frequently enough to think I would make the MVA and no, i don't really care. I post for my amusement and to kill time. you seem unable to grasp this.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goddamn scroll button
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
so you guys really do take pride in that heated list?
this is such an education today, really
i wonder if barry will put it on his resume
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, as unoriginal as all your insults are at least you've given me something to do today. now i have but two hours to kill.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Smell the heat.
Fuck you, Willie.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Suck my nob, Chubbs.
====================
Don Rickles you ain't.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
my mother died when i was born
she grabbed a scalpel from the doctor and sliced her carotid artery when she saw what she'd given birth to
thanks for reminding me bubba
i never got any home cooking at all
that's why i make fun of uber because i'm jealous of your loving homes
now back to your tongue in barrys ass here
do you think he's a pussy and that's why you defend him because i'm inclined to agree and maybe we finally have some common ground
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Suck my nob, Chubbs.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Willie, you -2ed your mother's cooking when you were a kid, didn't you?
Now you've grown into an asshole, and even your mom hates you. Shut up.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
just answer the question grampa
do you wash your tongue after removing it from mccallums ass or not
barry at least should know for christs sake we're talking disease here
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:26:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry.
Meant to +2.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jonny can't read!!!!!
It was figurative, moron.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goddamnit i meant to throw in a +2 so i don't get banned
you can't be too careful with bart lurking around on each post watching like a hawk
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Ghola is almost as ugly in this representation as she is anywhere else on this site.
Almost.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i wouldn't exactly call barry 'little' if i read you right there, bubba
tell me, do you brush your tooth between ass lickings because otherwise you're french kissing every uberer who 'came' before you
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, Willie. Your big brother pisses you off so you slap your little brother. Gutless pig.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yes i'm so devious bubba
do you admire my intellect
just for that barry takes a deuce
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Notice how Willard throws in the +2 every now and then so he doesn't get banned?
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woohoo
almost
i'll take it baby
(up the ass in the shower)
i hope i get a reach around
twist that knob shlong it ain't locked
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nice "work" hit the showers. just don't bend over when shlongy's in there too.
you're almost funny. the tubby fatty coments are so original that I can't help but be astounded by your uninformed wit.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ahahaha shlongy has an economy of words which escapes me sometimes
do forgive my loquaciousness
i think it's obvious i got under your skin, which is quite difficult as any zoologist could tell you
my work is done
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nob:
1. Slang. the head.
knob:
1. a projecting part, usually rounded, forming the handle of a door, drawer, or the like.
2. a rounded lump or protuberance on the surface or at the end of something, as a knot on a tree trunk.
seems like both work but that's fine. why don't you jump on willie's knob, you two would make a beautiful couple.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:35:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i only come here to make fun of people like you
i would think that's fairly obvious
___________________________________
I've never really paid much attention to you so i'm sorry I haven't noticed your need for validation and superiority.
my ratings are mostly arbitrary
i had no idea they bothered you so much
____________________________________________
I care not for the arbitrary number, it has no effect on my life. I have disdain for useless shit stirrers calling me out for creativity when thier contribution is purely based on the website itself.
here's a another plus two just for you!
___________________________________________
why thank you
you should go to all my posts and retaliate if it makes you feel better
___________________________________________
I don't need to assert myself in such a way. i will rate them according to the merit i see in them.
ahahaha check your post history are you proud of your little uber record how precious
it's wonderful you are so proud of the little effort you make here
and i feel terrible i haven't been supportive of your fledgling talent
you have taught me a valuable lesson today
thank you!
_____________________________________________
I have actually attempted to write fiction. I have also posted a lot of shit. compare or not. i don't care.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
PS. It's KNOB gobbler, Tubbs.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:35:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i only come here to make fun of people like you
i would think that's fairly obvious
my ratings are mostly arbitrary
i had no idea they bothered you so much
here's a another plus two just for you!
you should go to all my posts and retaliate if it makes you feel better
ahahaha check your post history are you proud of your little uber record how precious
it's wonderful you are so proud of the little effort you make here
and i feel terrible i haven't been supportive of your fledgling talent
you have taught me a valuable lesson today
thank you!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahaha
please take my "criticism" seriously
this is ubersite fatty
i would advise against taking anything seriously
here's a widdle pwus two for you so you don't feew too bad
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
willie. I seriously tire of you. Look at my post history and look at yours. I'm unorriginal? Any more than you? how many of your recent posts are washed up rehashed make fun of uber user posts? I will now go read and review ALL of your posts to be educated by your self ascribed awsome. if you even peruse my history you will find that I have at least tried writing fiction without using uber as the main character/setting.
I usually take the time to spell check but you're not worth the time or effort. go play somewhere else you nob gobbler.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wait..... what?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:16:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cranky? me? not at all.
I do find hotwillie useless. While this is not a glittering beacon of creativity i have a hard time taking that criticism seriously from someone who has the "write about Uber" market wrapped up.
======================
Brdn has Willie pegged.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hotwillie, as a chronicle of my day I included the fact that I "deficated" (Wouldn't want to use any other unoriginal slang to briefly and succinctly get my message accross). I'm sorry this disturbed you. you've made your point and I bow to your greater and wonderous creativty. I appologize for having sullied these pages with my drivel.
=============
i accept your apology
the point is you are an unoriginal dullard
the only way to make this less interesting would have been perhaps to include a lolcat
it's defecated, btw
if you are going to talk shit, at least learn to spell
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cranky today?
----------------------
Probably a case of the hump-days.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cranky? me? not at all.
I do find hotwillie useless. While this is not a glittering beacon of creativity i have a hard time taking that criticism seriously from someone who has the "write about Uber" market wrapped up.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cranky today?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sac I DO owe you a present and soon. I'm trying to figure out how i could send you some delcious cheese curds. If I can't swing that I'll find something else.
hotwillie, as a chronicle of my day I included the fact that I "deficated" (Wouldn't want to use any other unoriginal slang to briefly and succinctly get my message accross). I'm sorry this disturbed you. you've made your point and I bow to your greater and wonderous creativty. I appologize for having sullied these pages with my drivel. now kindly go fuck yourself.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
drop the kids off at the pool
i love those hilarious euphemisms where on earth did you hear that one and why isn't it used more frequently i wonder originality is so rare these days that's a keeper
tell us more about your shitting, too
those stories are the best
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Statistics show that sending me presents is really good for alleviating boredom.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
flattery is the lowest form of compliment? I did enjoy your post and believe I rated to indicate such.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:47:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You plagiarized my title (sort of) and then claimed that nothing you read on here today was earth-shattering? What a douchebag....
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
JUST LIKE YOU!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
how interesting and original
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
duh yozz. i think i mentioned i was gonna write it like i was drunk. i wrote it right in the submit window.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Apparently you are too bored to run spell check or capitalize letters properly.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:39:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
when you have kids, a job and a mortgage avoid the excitement, as it a widely known fact that too much excitement can kill ....