Random Musings from a Night at Yankee Stadium (1064 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1 on 49 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bob (View user info) at 2008-05-19 01:05:14 EDT
Random Guy selling knockoff Yankee gear: "Yankee hats, Fi-dolla, Fi-dolla, Any color!"
Random Yankee Fan: "Even purple?"
RG: "Shut up fag"
*RG crosses the street*
_____________________________
Random Yankee Fan: "Hey Alou, What the fuck is wrong with ya stance? You got arthritis or somethin'?"
Alou: "Who are you callin' me old? You're like 60!"
RYF, who actually looks like he's 60: "BOOOOOOO. You suck Alou!"
_____________________________
Random Drunk Yankee fan: "Get the fuck outta my line of sight you douchebag"
Girl's Father: "She's 10 years old. Give her a break, will ya?"
RDYF: "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE"
*GF signals for security*
Security: "Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to quiet down or I will have to escort you outside."
RDYF: "What? It ain't me? It's this fucking girl. She's in my fucking line of sight. If she wasn't so fat I'd donkey punch her fat ass."
Security, looking really pissed off: "Sir, get up. It is obvious that you are too intoxicated. We will have to escort you off the premises."
*Security grabs the coat of the RDYF and starts pushing him up the stairs"
RDYF: "What? I just wanted the fat cunt to MOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!"
*Surrounding area applauds as the RDYF is being escorted out*
_____________________________
*Bottle gets thrown at Mets jersey wearing Posh-Looking Woman*
Posh-looking Woman: "Who the fuck threw that at me? Huh?"
*Yankee fans are silent*
*Second bottle gets thrown at PLW*
PLW: "Seriously? Who the fuck is throwing shit at me? You fuckers have no respect!"
*Usher hears PLW and comes down*
Usher: "What's going on here?"
*PLW explains that she's had two bottles thrown at her and Usher tells everyone to stop*
Random Suit-Wearing Yankee Fan looks at the Usher: "Excuse me. No one has thrown anything at her. Those bottles are all her own."
*Usher shakes his head and leaves*
15 Minutes later:
*Two bottles get thrown at PLW at the same time*
PLW: "WHO THE FUCK IS THROWING SHIT AT ME? I HATE YOU ALL!"
*Yankee fans are silent*
Usher: "Excuse me ma'am. It is obviously you are too intoxicated. We're going to as-"
PLW: "I PAID 500 DOLLARS FOR THIS SEAT AND I WILL NOT HAVE BOTTLES THROWN AT ME DURING THIS GAME!"
*RSWYF shakes his head at the Usher*
Usher: "Ok ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
*Usher escorts woman out, Yankee fans applaud and everyone high-five each other*
_____________________________
Random Fat Guy in a Striped Collared Shirt Two Rows Ahead of Me Looking at an ESPN Camera: "WOO! Go Yankees! Fuck the Mets! WOO!"
*Guy next to me gets a text message*
Text Message: "Where are you in relation to the fat idiot in the striped shirt?"
*Entire row laughs*
_____________________________
*Random Drunk Mets Fan sitting three rows ahead of me goes down to the top of the Mets dugout right next to three 8-10 Year old kids.*
Random Drunk Mets Fan: "Beltran! BELTRAN! GIVE THESE KIDS A BALL!"
*RDMF turns to a little girl next to him*
RDMF: "How old are you little girl?"
Little Girl: "I'm nine."
RDMF: "BELTRAN! SHE'S ONLY NINE! GIVE HER A BALL FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, WILL YA"
*Carlos Beltran continues warming up in the on deck circle*
RDMF: "Fine! Fuck you, you overpaid piece of shit!"
*A Mets Bench coach shows Security the guy, Security then removes the guy*
*Beltran gives the girl a ball*
Beltran walks up to the girl and her father: "Here you go. When I turned around, I really wished that guy was a Yankee fan. What an asshole, seriously."
_________________________________
*Alberto Gonzalez misses a ground ball at Third Base*
Random Yankee Fan #1: "What the fuck? Greg Nettles could've caught that!"
*Everyone laughs*
Random Yankee Fan #2: "Calling Scott Brosius, Scott...Broscius?
*Everyone laughs again*
My Mother: "What the fuck? I could've caught that!"
*Everyone laughs for a third time*
Random Yankee Fan #3: "Charlie Hayes could've caught that shit!"
*Everyone laughs really, really loud*
Random Yankee Fan #4, who is sitting next to his paraplegic sister: "My paraplegic sister could've caught that!"
*Everyone looks around awkwardly, not knowing whether to laugh or not*
RYF's Paraplegic Sister: "And I bet I would've made it look better too!"
*Everyone acknowledges it is ok to laugh, and proceed to laugh*
__________________________________
Man, I'm going to miss this place.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-21 19:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, based on past performance, I usually yell that out BEFORE the first pitch, but after the National Anthem...so I imagine the score would be 0-0.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-05-21 01:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That's it, I'm sick of that. I don't have it in me to spam.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-05-20 23:37:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://i.cnn.net/si/si_online/covers/images/2008/0526_large.jpg
HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-20 23:22:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
depends on the score. haha.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-20 20:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If I was at the game and yelled "Show me your hole", would your mom take the bait?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-05-20 20:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love assholes.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-05-20 19:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-05-19 20:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck the Yanks.
Go Indians.
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Oh, did they snap out of their little slump?
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-05-19 23:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO YANKS!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-05-19 22:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116824
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-05-19 20:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck the Yanks.
Go Indians.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-19 19:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-19 16:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol
you're not even allowed to go to the baseball without your mother.
____________________
nope. She comes up to college with me too...goes to all my parties, classes, etc too. It's the life.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-05-19 19:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-05-19 18:11:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A buddy of mine grew up in oakland, and he told me about this one time he went to a raiders-packers game. some guy and his kid showed up in packers gear, cheeseheads and all, and he.....
***
raiders games are nasty, A's not nearly so much
i never took a woman to a Raiders game but i sometimes went anyway cause i got in free
(professional courtesy for adjacent depts)which essentially meant: unofficial, non-paid crowd control that doesn't need triplicate inter-department reports if something ends up going south.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-05-19 18:11:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-19 09:53:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-05-19 14:43:20 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
The bottle throwing incident just confirms what we have all known for years. Yankee fans are douchebags. Each and every fucking one of them.
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FANS are douchebags.
Opposition fans at any rate.
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no.
A buddy of mine grew up in oakland, and he told me about this one time he went to a raiders-packers game. some guy and his kid showed up in packers gear, cheeseheads and all, and he said the raiders fans around them kept cussing at the little kid, throwing hot dogs at the dad, spilling full cups of beer all over the kid, a bunch of ridiculous shit.
that kind of stuff doesnt happen to packers fans at soldier field or the metrodome and we dont do it to anybody else at lambeau. just because you see an opposing teams fans doesnt mean you need to be a fucking retard and throw your beer at a 10-year-old kid.
at any rate, they only sell plastic bottles anymore at sporting events. that's not such a big deal.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-05-19 16:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Quite good, but the abbreviations bothered me. Quit being lazy.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-19 16:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol
you're not even allowed to go to the baseball without your mother.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-19 16:42:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-05-19 16:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-19 15:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-05-19 15:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like going to sports games, where drinking in the middle of the day is fully encouraged, yelling and swearing is completely normal and your mood for the rest of the week is all dependent on whether or not your team wins.
_________________________
This is why you go to a baseball game, people.
Don't knock it 'till you've done it.
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Yeah, I totally read about going to baseball games on Wikipedia. I've read about it so many times it's liike I've actually been to one. I just wish there was some way I could experience sitting next to my mom for 4 fucking hours instead of actually enjoying myself.
_________________________
a. It was my belated treat for Mother's Day.
b. Someone doesn't have a good relationship with their mother if both can't be achieved.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-05-19 16:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-19 15:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-05-19 15:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like going to sports games, where drinking in the middle of the day is fully encouraged, yelling and swearing is completely normal and your mood for the rest of the week is all dependent on whether or not your team wins.
_________________________
This is why you go to a baseball game, people.
Don't knock it 'till you've done it.
-----
Yeah, I totally read about going to baseball games on Wikipedia. I've read about it so many times it's liike I've actually been to one. I just wish there was some way I could experience sitting next to my mom for 4 fucking hours instead of actually enjoying myself.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-05-19 16:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
we bring guns lawyers $ and dope to every game in Oakland
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-19 15:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-05-19 15:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like going to sports games, where drinking in the middle of the day is fully encouraged, yelling and swearing is completely normal and your mood for the rest of the week is all dependent on whether or not your team wins.
_________________________
This is why you go to a baseball game, people.
Don't knock it 'till you've done it. It makes watching baseball games fun.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-05-19 15:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like going to sports games, where drinking in the middle of the day is fully encouraged, yelling and swearing is completely normal and your mood for the rest of the week is all dependent on whether or not your team wins.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-19 14:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go Cards
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-05-19 14:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What was Usher doing at a Yankees-Mets game? I would have thought he would be a Braves fan.
This reminds me of the time I saw a guy in a Yankees jersey at Turner Field during a Braves-Mets game. Weirdo.
Submitted by Spacegrass (user info) at 2008-05-19 13:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best part?
7-4
11-2
Fuck you! Go Mets!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-19 12:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was pretty good...and accurate.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-05-19 10:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post, shitty sport.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-19 10:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Those Damn Yankees.
Submitted by Finlay (user info) at 2008-05-19 10:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
was OK
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-05-19 10:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-05-19 09:59:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
go sox
but this was funny
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-19 09:53:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-05-19 14:43:20 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
The bottle throwing incident just confirms what we have all known for years. Yankee fans are douchebags. Each and every fucking one of them.
---------
FANS are douchebags.
Opposition fans at any rate.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-05-19 09:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The bottle throwing incident just confirms what we have all known for years. Yankee fans are douchebags. Each and every fucking one of them.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-05-19 08:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Almost makes me want to go to a baseball game.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-05-19 07:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd've liked to have visited Yankee Stadium.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-19 07:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
baseball is and exersize in boring
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-19 06:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-05-19 06:23:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
seemed like typical fan buffoonery until i got to the bottle throwers. that really irked me.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-19 05:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I cannot understand baseball, but it looks like it may be fun to sit around getting pissed watching the slowest form of sport in the world.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-19 05:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Plagiarist twat below.
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-19 05:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Off_The_Wagon (user info) at 2008-05-19 03:51:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-19 03:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2008-05-19 02:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck New Bjork, fuck the Yankees and fuck the Mets
That is all
GO WHITE SOX WOO!!!
____________
Now that is a -2 that hurts.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-05-19 02:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im going to +2 this because those faggots from boston just swept the brewers.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2008-05-19 02:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck New Bjork, fuck the Yankees and fuck the Mets
That is all
GO WHITE SOX WOO!!!
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-05-19 02:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, okay then. Go Mets.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-19 02:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Both happened. I was right behind the dugout/on deck circle so I heard all of the fan/player interactions...and they do interact.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-05-19 02:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
would have been better without the obvious fiction of alou and beltran talking to fans. Now I think it's all bullshit.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2008-05-19 01:50:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nothing makes me happier than the yankees being in last place
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-19 01:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yea...the new stadium is going to be ready for next year...they're gonna tear it all down, sell some parts, like chairs and stuff...and put a couple of parts (like that bridge on top of the scoreboard) in the new stadium.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-19 01:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit, you make me miss the place already and I've never even been there. Are they tearing it down, or what?