Sex, breastfeeding, and how to persuade heterosexual women to experiment with bisexuality (913 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.27 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shandythedog (View user info) at 2008-05-16 19:15:28 EDT
Heterosexual women, YOU ARE MISSING OUT on a FUNDAMENTAL pleasure.
I think it's safe to assume that babies enjoy breastfeeding very much. Presumably it is one of our deepest pleasures and comforts.
i don't think it's drawing too long a bow to suggest that some sort of body memory or subconscious memory of this pleasure and comfort play a part in the pleasure and comfort men get when they suck on women's breasts during sex. There must be some sort of PRIMATIVE INSTINCT involved.
Sucking on breasts is simply wonderful. It's so nice. The mixture of fierce sexual excitement with the sense of gentle comfort can not be found in any other activity.
Now, women suck on breasts when they are babies, but most of them don't ever suck any breasts ever again.
HETEROSEXUAL WOMEN WAKE UP TO YOURSELVES!
Ordinary, horrible, beer-swilling, sports watching men, in addition to ruling the world and getting all the best jobs, are getting a unique sexual treat that you are missing out on! Start sucking breasts now! (And of course, to get a full and simultaneous mix of natural instinctive experiences, do so with my penis inside you at the same time.)
It's a shame the repulsive 'sex in the city' show has finished - those moronic sluts would have been the ideal vehicle to get this message out to the modern average aspirational woman.
Nevertheless, I shall contact Cleo and Cosmo and Dolly etc with my message. Wish me luck!
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-20 10:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My name is Monkeyswithguns, and I approve of this message.
*Paid for by NippleNibblers of America NPO
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-05-18 09:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-05-17 10:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoy boobies. Who doesn't? I keep hinting to my boy that I want a threesome and so far he hasn't taken the bait. Perhaps hinting isn't the best course of action and I should just find a willing chick and be waiting with her in his bed when he gets home from his business trip... yes... this could work. I'll report back.
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if he turns out to be unwilling, i think you know who to turn to.
in other news, i referenced this post in conversation today. it didnt go as well as i hoped. i'll figure out different ways to broach the topic and then i'll report back. i dont think they were ready for this sort of higher level thinking. maybe if i tell a poop joke first, yes.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-05-17 12:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-05-17 02:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you loose your suck reflex when you stop drinking milk from the boob as a baby.
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You can train it back ;-)
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-17 12:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
puking dog sighting!!!
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2008-05-17 12:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic post. We need more support of experimental lesbianism.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-17 10:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
post video plz.
thx
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-05-17 10:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoy boobies. Who doesn't? I keep hinting to my boy that I want a threesome and so far he hasn't taken the bait. Perhaps hinting isn't the best course of action and I should just find a willing chick and be waiting with her in his bed when he gets home from his business trip... yes... this could work. I'll report back.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-17 08:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-05-16 20:31:32 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-05-16 20:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a few years back at my local, (which was once a filthy den of iniquity, but has since tried to go a little up-market and been completely ruined) i hooked up with a chick who was still lactating. as a sort of dare, i got her to spray some milk on my face under the table. later we went back to hers and i fucked her while sucking on her tit. basically i fulfilled the ultimate oedipal fantasy
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oddly enough, i find the thought of actualy drinking breast milk a bit disturbing - maybe it's just because i've always liked chilled (and pastueirized, homongenised etc) milk. the organic reality of breastmilk seems a bit much. i wouldn't mind having it squirted onto my erect cock though. or if my erect cock could bump against a nipple at the moment of ejaculation, causing the nipple to squirt milk at the same time i was squirting jism, that would be nice.
the closest i have come to your experience was a handjob from satan while i operated the manual breastpump - which i've probably mentioned 1000 times on here already as it is one of my few noteworthy unusual sexual experiences.
I have no real breast fixation, now arses. Now you're talking.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2008-05-17 04:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2008-05-16 21:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wasn't breast-fed, yet, i love sucking breasts. explain that one.
you're compensating and you secretly wish they were cocks
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-05-17 02:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you loose your suck reflex when you stop drinking milk from the boob as a baby. You'd have to drink expressed milk from a beaker or something. breastmilk tastes of whatever the woman has been eating apparently.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-17 01:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Should have been a +1.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-17 01:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-16 16:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
2. What Uber user would you like to learn more about and why?
-Shandy's on another level.
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something something something...I really have nothing to say
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-05-16 23:38:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are officially my write in candidate for president
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-05-16 23:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i will parrot this message any time i speak to a female about sex and i WONT GIVE YOU PROPER CREDIT. but i will take pictures, maybe.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-05-16 23:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but is it normal to like a girl to suck on YOUR nipples?
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2008-05-16 21:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wasn't breast-fed, yet, i love sucking breasts. explain that one.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-05-16 21:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-05-16 20:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a few years back at my local, (which was once a filthy den of iniquity, but has since tried to go a little up-market and been completely ruined) i hooked up with a chick who was still lactating. as a sort of dare, i got her to spray some milk on my face under the table. later we went back to hers and i fucked her while sucking on her tit. basically i fulfilled the ultimate oedipal fantasy
---
oddly enough, i find the thought of actualy drinking breast milk a bit disturbing - maybe it's just because i've always liked chilled (and pastueirized, homongenised etc) milk. the organic reality of breastmilk seems a bit much. i wouldn't mind having it squirted onto my erect cock though. or if my erect cock could bump against a nipple at the moment of ejaculation, causing the nipple to squirt milk at the same time i was squirting jism, that would be nice.
the closest i have come to your experience was a handjob from satan while i operated the manual breastpump - which i've probably mentioned 1000 times on here already as it is one of my few noteworthy unusual sexual experiences.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-16 21:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i don't think it's drawing too long a bow
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I liked this.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-05-16 20:55:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm always put off when i'm watching porn and breast sucking begins to look suspiciously like breast nuzzling. It just seems a bit... eurgh.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-05-16 20:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Breastfeeding... *drool*
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-05-16 20:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a few years back at my local, (which was once a filthy den of iniquity, but has since tried to go a little up-market and been completely ruined) i hooked up with a chick who was still lactating. as a sort of dare, i got her to spray some milk on my face under the table. later we went back to hers and i fucked her while sucking on her tit. basically i fulfilled the ultimate oedipal fantasy.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-05-16 20:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-05-16 20:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
excellent, but make sure it is clear that it is MY penis (shandythedog's) that they should insert for the full simulataneious instinctive pleasure experience when sucking other women's breasts.
sacrilicious, did your inclinations involve a penis insertion during the breast sucking?
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Roger that Shandy.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-16 20:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not particularly. I'm more inclined toward one-on-one experiences, though I don't rule it out and there has been a man within close proximity. I seek a feeling of intimacy no matter who I'm with, and I think it's harder to attain that in general with multiple partners.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-05-16 20:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-05-16 19:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm linking this to all my female friends.
Yes, I have friends, who are girls, that I'm not trying to fuck. I know, it's a first in internet history, hope it didn't blow your mind.
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excellent, but make sure it is clear that it is MY penis (shandythedog's) that they should insert for the full simulataneious instinctive pleasure experience when sucking other women's breasts.
sacrilicious, did your inclinations involve a penis insertion during the breast sucking?
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-05-16 19:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm linking this to all my female friends.
Yes, I have friends, who are girls, that I'm not trying to fuck. I know, it's a first in internet history, hope it didn't blow your mind.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-16 19:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't actively pursue a bisexual lifestyle, but I have my tendencies and I've enjoyed the experience.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-05-16 19:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hang on a sec, have i misunderstood??
are you saying sacrilicious, that you already enjoy sucking on women's breasts? and you are a woman?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-05-16 19:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'll book you in for some therapy sessions on my forthcoming World Tour, sacrilicious
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-16 19:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree. I think it's because I was a preemie and I wasn't breastfed.