The Cunts I work With Who Fuck Up My Zen (2638 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.89 on 83 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TTOM: Warning Contains Gratuitous Use of the Word "Cunt" (View user info) at 2008-04-30 14:53:43 EDT
"Every cunts a bastard in my book"
TToM's Dad (AKA T-Bird) 1952 - Present
Hello
As you may know, I am employed. This may come as little surprise since 90% of you are also employed in some capacity or other. However I did in fact just complete a mostly useless degree and the employment percentage of my graduating class is probably around 5% employed (Degree related-this includes myself)) 40% employed (Non-degree related) 55% dole scum.
This proves two things:
1. A BSc in Zoology counts for little in this world (With honours, that means you get an extra McDonalds star)
2. My employers have all the sense of a brutally retarded sex-chimp.
So yes, my work mean that I get to annoy animals all day long and there's nothing they can do about it.
Sadly though, not only am I surrounded by beasts, I am also surrounded by cunts.
Cunts of all shapes, sizes, mental disorders and annoyance factor. Some, I am fairly certain, are employed simply to fuck normal people (like me...OK you've seen through that ) off and ruin what is otherwise a genuinely enjoyable job.
Fuckers.
Cunt #1: The Perfectionist Cunt.
You know when you've done a job and you KNOW for a FACT that its fine. You've checked it, everything is in place, everything works. You know that there is nothing wrong with the job you have done. Nothing.
Unless...
This cunt comes along and points out that "well technically its fine but I noticed you started things THIS way and you should have started it THAT way"
Yes. Perhaps I should. The fact that it makes NO DIFFERENCE WHATSOEVER which way round you do things is obviously too difficult a concept for you to grasp.
Perhaps, and I'm going out on a limb here, you couldn't find any fucking REAL problems and just needed something to pick out of an otherwise finely done job.
You massive cunt.
Cunt #2: The Interfering Cunt
"How are you getting on?"
I hate this phrase. It fills me with nothing but dread and anger. This is the phrase that my personal Interfering Cunt uses ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
Working away at a job that needs concentration and time and to NOT HAVE SOME PRICK POKE THEIR HEAD THROUGH THE DOOR EVERY TWO FUCKING MINUTES AND ASK HOW THE FUCK I AM DOING!
Haven't you got your own work to be getting on with? You probably do but because it takes less effort to poke your nose into my business you decided to do that instead, didn't you.
And must you use the same stock phrases EVERY time you speak?!
"How are you getting on?"
"If need be..."
"In theory..."
"Gimme a shout if you need anything"
You have the entire English language to choose from and, I have no doubt, a few foreign phrases you picked up on your trip to Bangkok (EG "which way to the...you know, "ladies"") so why must you use these few words over and over and FUCKING OVER?!
Gigantic cunt.
#3. The Lazy Cunt
There is some crossover with #2 here because that particular individual is also a Lazy Cunt. Luckily for me though there is another, completely separate cunt I'm forced to work with whom I can describe here.
It's 4:15. You really, really want to go home at 4:30 for a change (that's when we knock off, lucky us) and you would have been able to. Except....that one fucker who didn't do a shred of work all day long has left every other bastard in the place to pick up her slack at the end of the fucking day.
What a cunt bitch-whore.
I understand that you don't want to check your books, I really do. It's boring. People have awful handwriting. (Me in particular.) It takes ages and there are more interesting jobs to do.
Sadly, it has to be done.
SO WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T YOU DONE IT YOU FUCKING SLAG?!
Do you really think I want to be sat here, 15 minutes from when I get to go home, doing work YOU should have done three fucking hours ago?! When I ASKED three hours ago if you had checked your books did you reply in the affirmative? Yes, yes you did. And yet, here they are, undone.
What's that, you didn't have time? Oh snookums, I didn't realise you were that rushed off your feet when I saw you have an hour and a half fucking lunch AND a 25 minute coffee break. The rest of us have to make do with half an hour and 15 minutes but I forgot, you're special.
When you took that paperwork over to the other building that's 2 minutes walk away, did you break your leg? Were you accosted by Vikings and pillaged on the way over? Did you get abducted by aliens and probed, rather enjoyably, before being unceremoniously dumped back on the Earth?
None of these things happened? Well I must say I'm surprised, because a five minute job took you TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES.
Huge cunt.
#4: The Smoking Cunt
Just because you want to die early does not mean you can take five breaks a fucking day. Personally, I want to have a large Bushmills five times a day but I can't because #1 I'm working and #2 I'd probably fucking murder you whilst drunk when you wander in five minutes after everyone else has simply because you have no fucking willpower and "everyone else did it" when you were at school.
Tell me, if I had a massive heroin habit, if I just couldn't get my hands on enough horse, smack, junk and black tar would it be permissible for me to wander off and shoot up and waste half a fucking day walking back and forth to the skag-shelter?
No, it would not. But just because your habit is legal does not mean its acceptable for you to do it either.
You stinking cunt.
#5: The Boss Cunt
Yes, I've picked this job up quicker than most of the assclowns you hire. Yes I'm about to move up a grade (Off the bottom rung bitches, woo!) and be in charge of a select team of whatever dipshits you palm off on me and yes, I am fairly smart but only in comparison to the mouth breathers I currently work with. Sun reading cunts.
BUT
This does NOT mean you can leave me one days notice to prepare for something you should have prepared yourself the week before.
A piece of work that needs to be done for Friday. I have my own work to do as well you ungrateful cunt. I don't CARE if you're getting stressed out, its not my fault you are a disorganised shit. Its not my fault you hired asshats, clownshoes and dipshits and I'm one of the few people you can count on.
What you SHOULD have done is be a little more organised and not just shove everything in your drawer.
And your filing system on the computer network was fucking SHIT.
You can't just wham everything in and hope no one notices that it's a fucking mess. People have to fucking find shit in there man. It took me a week of afternoons to sort out ONE FUCKING FOLDER.
What the hell is wrong with you? Can you not see that files with numbers after their name need to HAVE A DIFFERENT NUMBER?! If I want file 26 and there are TEN of the fucking things I have to click on every single one to find the right one, how is that a good idea?
Messy Cunt
#6: The Moaning Cunt
Yo.
A bit of peace and quiet is what a cunt needs.
User Reviews
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-18 15:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I accidentally called my supervisor "tons of fun" this morning.
As in: "Piss off, tons of fun, I'm actually WORKING right now."
And the worst part is, I didn't get fired, or a written warning, or even a conference about my disruptive behaviors, the fat bastard just giggled.
Submitted by DrKennethNoisewater (user info) at 2008-05-23 11:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Three words that pretty much guaranteed a +2 : sun reading cunts.
Also worth mentioning was the phrase : asshats, clownshoes, and dipshits.
I can't stand the types of cunts you refer to. Love the smoking/heroin/habit comparison. I've said it many times but suggested that if their chosen habit was wanking would they expect the luxury of "I'm just nipping out for a minute"
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-05-08 15:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-05-06 06:18:19 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
complaining about collegues and labelling them is usually done by n00bs on the job market.
sorry to be the one telling you :-|
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Shows how much you know about me then doesnt it, cheese-botherer. I worked for years before I went to Uni.
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-06 03:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAXIMASH!! below
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-05-06 01:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
complaining about collegues and labelling them is usually done by n00bs on the job market.
sorry to be the one telling you :-|
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2008-05-05 18:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I only work with one cunt right now... kind of a nagging cunt, if you will. For instance, we opened the month to day so a bunch of info was made available. She insists that she should be first on the list to receive (even though she doesn't have that authority). I make her wait out of spite.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-05-05 16:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-05-05 21:25:51 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
a smoke break only takes about 5-7 minutes. You the only reason you notice is because smokers have to leave the office / whatever to walk down to the 'smoking place' which is usually in the dank 1st floor carpark that offers no shelter from the weather.
Can you really say that you've never sat at your desk and just kinda zoned out for about 5 minutes.
sanctimonious non smokers are the worst.
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Yeah, sorry, we are the worst. Heres us infringing on your right to stink and cough up black shit all day long, more fool us eh.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-05-05 16:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a smoke break only takes about 5-7 minutes. You the only reason you notice is because smokers have to leave the office / whatever to walk down to the 'smoking place' which is usually in the dank 1st floor carpark that offers no shelter from the weather.
Can you really say that you've never sat at your desk and just kinda zoned out for about 5 minutes.
sanctimonious non smokers are the worst.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-05-03 14:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-02 18:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice looking dog. The four-legged critter ain't bad, either.
:)
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2008-05-02 18:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
miserable cunts, the lot of them.
quality hate. i can't help but +2 things. like ths. it's a weakness.
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-05-02 12:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA, LOL, etc.
B@W
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-01 21:42:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DUDE! DON'T BRAIN THE DOG IT LOOKS STOOPID BUT CUTE.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-01 20:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"asshats, clownshoes, and dipshits
OH MY!!!
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-05-01 18:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this. I'm going to steal it and e-mail it to people.
And on a side note: I noticed that you called the mouth breathers you work with "Sun reading bastards." As an American, I get alot of English news from The Sun and The Daily Mail online. Should I look for other sources besides The Sun? Is The Daily Mail a respected source? Can you suggest anything that I should be reading?
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-05-01 16:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've got a little poem to cheer you up:
*ahem*
Roses are red
Violets are blue
All my base
Are belong to you.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-05-01 14:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-30 21:49:28 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know that isn't a quarry, but why is the ground made of stone?
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British beaches are like everything else in Britain, dissapointing
What fun creature did you get to work with at the zoo today?
---
Blank
I tried to get a job at the zoo once, but I havn't heard anything from them. Apparently you've got to be "qualified" to work somewhere like the zoo.
---
Or be willing to work a shitload of voluntary unpaid hours before they even consider you
How many of the graduates are veterinarians?
---
nil
Can you do dog psychology?
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I guess
You work at the zoo. Why then do you have paperwork and a cubicle?
---
I dont have a cubicle and sadly every job has shitty paperwork
At any point, will you give me a tour of the zoo you work at?
---
Would YOU want anyone from Uber coming to your work
What are my odds for spontaneous ninja-stion. That's where I suddenly become a ninja and do ninja things.
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negative five
Are tigers really as mean as I think they are?
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Oh yes
Can elephants be trained to bring me a drink?
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Only special pygmy elephants WITH LASERS!
At what point are you teaching fish to fear water?
---
Every moment the dream comes closer...closer...CLOSER
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-05-01 13:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2008-04-30 16:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-04 09:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yea i never learned how to tie my shoes either.
--
ahahah
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-05-01 08:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I did in fact just complete a mostly useless degree."
Ah, so I will have not just one, but two, useless degrees? Wonderful.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-05-01 07:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's a workplace cunt subtype for you. The Fluffy Precious Princess Cunt.
This is almost always a female who has decorated her cube with all sorts of pink and purple fuzzy decorations with hearts, flowers, and magic wands as motiffs complete with a painted plaque that reads 'Princess.' These cunts are usually incredibly stupid, leaving the other poor cunts around her to wonder how it was that someone so mind boggling stupid as she managed to secure employment outside of a Starbucks stuffing napkins in the napkin dispenser.
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It's worse when they're not even pretty, they were just the prettiest girl at their high school. It's like, Yeah, well I don't care if every guy at Spitwater, TX Technical High School was fighting to get a whiff of your panties. Here in Boston, you're barely a 3. If you were a dime you could get away with doing fuckall. If you were at least a 7 the doughy middle-aged guys would pick up your slack. But no. You suck. Have fun with that whole "glass ceiling" thing.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-01 07:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-05-01 06:52:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-05-01 06:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha
Never had a prblem with the word cunt really, it is just a word after all, I actually find it pretty funny.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-01 06:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How fucking DARE you have a go at me and my people for smoking.
Firstly smoking is awesome. It feels great and makes one feel less like an uptight wanker, perhaps you may try it sometime, although that would remove your second income from shoving coal up your arse to make cheap diamonds. Secondly if you're job is so manic that you can't take a few breaks without everything going to shit then that's an indication that something is wrong. Not taking smoke breaks isn't going to stop everything being shitty.
I'm fucking glad you got cancer and almost died, you arse.
(auto TTOM +2)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-01 06:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Blairdrummond?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-05-01 05:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-05-01 02:25:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I pissed off Sacrilicious once by starting a group email with "So how're you cunts doing?"
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anyone who can be pissed off by an email subject heading can get fucked. seriously.
i dont care if it says "i raped your mother and heres the photographic proof! (with added toddler bashing!!!)" or something possibly 'offensive' ITS A FUCKING EMAIL HEADER, get the fuck over yourself and be an adult. its a collection of nouns and consonants. well maybe if the email header was "rob_berg added you as a friend on Facebook!". THEN i suppose you could get the shits. (rob will love that shoutout)
god, people (mostly female) give me the shits.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-05-01 04:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Relax
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-05-01 04:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 always
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-05-01 04:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
People are cunts.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-05-01 02:25:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-01 05:16:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Throughly enjoyable.
Interesting how cunt is used gratuitously in the UK and Australia but not so much here. Here, cunt is usually used to disparage females. But you all seem to use it both affectionately as well as an insult.
I've always wondered what would happen if you take an Australian or a Britisher and set them down in an American pub and liqour them up. Of course they'd relax a little and start throwing the cunt word around. I wonder how long it would take, if it would happen at all, for some random female to give him an open handed smack across the face.
Her: How dare you, you foul man! *SMACK!*
Him: Oi! Did you all see that?! That cunt just slapped me!
2/3 of the male populace at the pub: Alright boys, let's get 'im!
---
I pissed off Sacrilicious once by starting a group email with "So how're you cunts doing?"
Submitted by Fat-Sacks (user info) at 2008-05-01 01:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If this was about turtles, it would have rocked.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-05-01 00:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-05-01 00:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha funny picture. try fetching THIS fuckin one, dog. try even finding it.
enjoy the real world, douchebag - youve consigned yourself to dealing with the inadequacies of the run of the mill person for the rest of your life.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-05-01 00:11:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2008-04-30 22:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked with a crackhead at a downtown gas station for a while. He took smoke breaks, almost literally, once every forty-five minutes. And occasionally he'd take an hour to talk to one of his friends.
I have no idea how his smelly ass hasn't been fired yet. I work at another location and often tell the delivery guy to say he's a fucktard for me, then he sends me a text asking me why I called him a fucktard via delivery guy proxy.
So I'm pretty sure he's still there. What a douche.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2008-04-30 22:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-30 22:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you'll go bald if you wear that cap all the time
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2008-04-30 21:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-04-30 20:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think the cunts i work with are related to the cunts you work with
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-30 20:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You could come work with me. Pays well and have a couple of people with zoology degrees...
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-04-30 20:01:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We have a cunt that just comes and goes as he pleases and does what he wants regarless of how it affects others, because he's been here forever. I am always having to fix his mistakes.
I'd hate him but he's cool when you don't take his work ethic into account. So it's like/hate.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-04-30 19:11:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scotland sounds so intense.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-04-30 18:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-04-30 14:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you (in a non-sexual way) and your dog, you live in a cartoon world that I want to visit
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-30 18:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome to the world of work.
Good rant
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-04-30 18:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If berty catches you besmirching the wonderful passtime that is smoking, he'll probably run you over with his new motorised scooter.
His arms were getting too muscular and looked disproportionate to his lithe physique. Plus, the smoking meant he couldn't push himself up the access ramp without stopping for a breather.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-04-30 18:07:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love your dog.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-04-30 18:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
From that picture, Scotland looks a lot like Oklahoma.
That ain't a good thing.
You fucking Cunt.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-30 17:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Every cunts a bastard in my book"
If you were new to Ubersite and you posted just the one line above and asked, "What country am I from?" it would be a no brainer.
Fucking hilarious.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-04-30 17:48:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what is it that is so appealing about the word cunt, i wonder?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-30 17:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for what Beeltea said below, and for Red, pointing out the Dominic Diamond (but not nearly as obese) lookalikey.
Cunt.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-04-30 17:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh! He's wearing camouflage! Almost didn't see him!
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-30 17:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are you wearing camo pants?
WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM?
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-04-30 17:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh nevermind, you're not by a shore. I didn't bother to scroll over and see that there was no water, just some dog that you are pelting rocks at. I'm going to report you to PETA
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-04-30 17:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aww TTOM skipping rocks by the shore... how quaint.
I think orgasmatron should write a gay poem about it.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-30 16:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know that isn't a quarry, but why is the ground made of stone?
What fun creature did you get to work with at the zoo today?
I tried to get a job at the zoo once, but I havn't heard anything from them. Apparently you've got to be "qualified" to work somewhere like the zoo.
How many of the graduates are veterinarians?
Can you do dog psychology?
You work at the zoo. Why then do you have paperwork and a cubicle?
At any point, will you give me a tour of the zoo you work at?
What are my odds for spontaneous ninja-stion. That's where I suddenly become a ninja and do ninja things.
Are tigers really as mean as I think they are?
Can elephants be trained to bring me a drink?
At what point are you teaching fish to fear water?
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2008-04-30 16:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-04 09:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yea i never learned how to tie my shoes either.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-30 16:37:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i swear you've posted this before. and that forensic posted that review before. and that crystle answered that forensic review with THAT review.
what a cunting cunt of a mindfuck i'm going through right now.
i need a drink, stat.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-30 16:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He looks WAY more like Dominic Diamond.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-30 16:19:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2008-04-30 21:10:26 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
1) So what do you do, exactly?
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I will never, ever reveal details about my employment on Ubersite for obvious reasons
2) What is a "sun-reader"?
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The Sun is a popular tabloid, more interested in bewbs and sensationalist bullshit than actual news and information
3) You look like the scottish version of this guy: http://www.nancarrow-webdesk.com/warehouse/storage2/2007-w42/img.36589_t.jpg
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Marginally
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2008-04-30 16:10:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1) So what do you do, exactly?
2) What is a "sun-reader"?
3) You look like the scottish version of this guy: http://www.nancarrow-webdesk.com/warehouse/storage2/2007-w42/img.36589_t.jpg
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-30 16:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ooh, pretty puppy *dog envy*
also - FG, you just described one of my cowhores.
The Fluffy Princess DOES have sub-types as well - first you have the overgrown fluffy princess who doesn't realize that she is NO longer a size six and still attempts to stuff her size 26 body into the same fashions and shoes.
And then you have the size six fluffy princess who doesn't realize that turning your head sideways and looking bewildered isn't a valid business response.
Actually, the size 26's do that as well... so maybe the skinny fluffs are still in vitro whale fluffs?
I need something fuzzy and pink on my desk. STAT. I could get away with SO much more....
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't tell if you're about to
a) throw the rock for the dog to fetch it.
b) peg the dog in the forehead.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Harpy announced this morning (prior to my arrival because she is terrified of confrontation with me) that laptops are no longer allowed, and she didn't want to see anyone working on "letters or books" while in the office.
So guess where I am right now with my lappy open, working on my book.
That's right you hapless cunt! SAY SOMETHING TO ME! I DARE YOU!
Mwuaa haaa haaa!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:34:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I wasnt working 12 days out of 14, up to ten hours on a normal day AND having to do the occasional 16 hour day believe me, I would.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
finish your Cyber Punk Sci-Fi.
Do it now.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pedroia loves skipping rocks
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-30 14:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
At some point you have to grow up and stop dressing like an SSX Snowboard Character
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hah!
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Throughly enjoyable.
Interesting how cunt is used gratuitously in the UK and Australia but not so much here. Here, cunt is usually used to disparage females. But you all seem to use it both affectionately as well as an insult.
I've always wondered what would happen if you take an Australian or a Britisher and set them down in an American pub and liqour them up. Of course they'd relax a little and start throwing the cunt word around. I wonder how long it would take, if it would happen at all, for some random female to give him an open handed smack across the face.
Her: How dare you, you foul man! *SMACK!*
Him: Oi! Did you all see that?! That cunt just slapped me!
2/3 of the male populace at the pub: Alright boys, let's get 'im!
Here's a workplace cunt subtype for you. The Fluffy Precious Princess Cunt.
This is almost always a female who has decorated her cube with all sorts of pink and purple fuzzy decorations with hearts, flowers, and magic wands as motiffs complete with a painted plaque that reads 'Princess.' These cunts are usually incredibly stupid, leaving the other poor cunts around her to wonder how it was that someone so mind boggling stupid as she managed to secure employment outside of a Starbucks stuffing napkins in the napkin dispenser.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:12:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are pure awesome.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SO much better than your picture posts.
You look like you're a 14 year old....I happen to think that rocks!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-30 20:07:00 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Judging from the size difference between you and the dog, and the suspected breed of said dog, you seem to be approximately 4 feet tall.
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I wish
uh, I mean...shit
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:07:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-30 11:59:51 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
At some point you have to grow up and stop dressing like an SSX Snowboard Character
====
Oh man, that better inspire a Photoshop post.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Judging from the size difference between you and the dog, and the suspected breed of said dog, you seem to be approximately 4 feet tall.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-30 15:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-30 19:59:51 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
At some point you have to grow up and stop dressing like an SSX Snowboard Character
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NEVER!
I intend to be one of those embarrasing oldies who dresses like he did when he was young.
You know, like a Teddy Boy but with baggier trousers.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-30 14:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
At some point you have to grow up and stop dressing like an SSX Snowboard Character
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-04-30 14:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you (in a non-sexual way) and your dog, you live in a cartoon world that I want to visit
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-30 14:56:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im super lazy
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-04-30 14:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
velcro sneakers?
fucking BOSH
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-30 14:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Big picture. Fuck it, Im not changing it to please you cunts.
WOO etc