Ubersite is a violation of General Order #1 (2040 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 79 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by hidden101 <hidden101.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2008-04-12 15:19:58 EDT
that's right, i tried to go on ubersite out here in Baghdad on some bullshit Army network and it told me to fuck right off because the content on ubersite violates Army General Order #1 for Iraq. i forget what all it entails, but it's something about prohibiting pornography, drinking, drugs, blah, blah, blah. basically anything fun while you are deployed.
so i had to connect an encrypted ssh tunnel to my home network so i could get to ubersite and check up on all you lovely people.
things are going well here. i almost punched my ticket with a mortar a couple days ago and oh by the way one just dropped while i'm typing this, but at least that one didn't land right next to my hooch like the last one. well, i'm going to kick back with a non-alcoholic beer (i'm not risking my ass to get to the liquor store run by that greasy Iraqi this time) and fire up the grill so i can eat some steaks that are tougher than truck tires. ahhhhhh, this is living.... i better enjoy it now, i'm convoying around the country in a couple days and it hasn't exactly been peaceful lately if you've been reading the news. i'm putting the nut protector on my body armor this time. wish me luck!
*kisses*
ps- ladies, feel free to send me naked pictures of you doing very nasty things with sex toys and/or other girls. i am in serious need of some spank material.
User Reviews
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2008-05-22 17:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.sledgehammertotheface.com/kick.gif
Submitted by chitowngirl (user info) at 2008-05-10 17:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i guess your friends have to communicate via uber now.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-05-10 00:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
www.shesnotalady.com
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2008-04-17 16:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good fuckin luck dude. I was wondering, can people (particularly those in the service) receive baked goods while they are in Iraq? I'd be makin batches of special cookies left and right, they would beat the shit out of your O'douls.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-16 16:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2008-04-16 16:00:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What kinda work are ya doing?
Is shit worse now compared to when you were previously in the country?
========================================================================
i'd rather not say what i'm doing out here. the last thing i need is for ubersite to know anything about my job or who i work for. you understand.
i can't really say if things are worse. they seem about the same. it goes through phases. i've had a couple mortars drop kinda close to me, but nothing to worry about. i'll let you know when i get back next week after i convoy around the country. IF i make it back. =(
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-04-16 16:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here ya go, stud horse: http://icanhascheezburger.com .
You're welcome! Try not to give yourself carpal tunnel!
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2008-04-16 16:00:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What kinda work are ya doing?
Is shit worse now compared to when you were previously in the country?
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-04-15 13:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rock out with your cock out!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-15 12:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-15 10:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what are those cement things surrounding you?
THE PARTS OF A WALL TO PUT THE IRAQIS IN A GHETTO!??? OMG! NAZI EVIL AMERICA!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-15 09:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-04-15 08:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. I need a badass job again. Any suggestions? KBR ignored the fuck out of me even though I've got a great resume and a Cat. II security clearance. wtf?
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You could see if the local waffle house needs a grill chef. Either that or you should work as a security gaurd, you're odd enough to fit in.
Are you a racist? It's okay if you're not, you can just pretend. Just say something like "Turbans ain't part of the army uniform, if you catch my drift" a lot and you'll be fine.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-04-15 08:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. I need a badass job again. Any suggestions? KBR ignored the fuck out of me even though I've got a great resume and a Cat. II security clearance. wtf?
Submitted by chitowngirl (user info) at 2008-04-14 23:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
o rly?
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2008-04-14 23:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hah neat-o.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-14 17:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I do have another dimension, I am not all slut.
I also lie.
lol.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-14 17:29:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps- i dream about putting things in your mouth.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-14 17:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you are such a filthy slut...
and i love you for it!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-14 17:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will sort something out tomorrow for you.
I dream about you putting things in my mouth.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-14 11:34:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you just stick to posting pictures of your boobs and don't worry about what it means, girly.
Submitted by MrsKitty (user info) at 2008-04-14 10:37:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's pretty funny... does that mean Ubersite is some sort of a national threat?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-14 10:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahaha
man, i really pissed off that chunky banjo girl. too funny.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-14 09:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FRIENDLY FIRE!!!!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-04-14 09:07:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-14 08:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-13 12:49:40 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-13 13:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber is a violation of MANY things
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-14 07:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-14 03:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-13 19:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Violate.
*pants*
=======================================
i'll violate YOU.
if you're really up for it, make an email account like ubertits.at.gmail.com or something and give the password to anyone that wants to send me pictures. if i got back from my little expedition next week and had an inbox full of tits and pussies, i would have to do something really nice for you to pay you back for sure!
----------------------------------------
Unless it is a group of detainees on a large silver platter, arranged into a triangular pile, accompanied by your smiling mug and giving the thumbs up then I doubt anyone would be that impressed.
That'd be awesome though. Plus it'd get Bart Bart a fresh bonus lawsuit to play with.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-04-14 06:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-14 03:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-13 19:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Violate.
*pants*
=======================================
i'll violate YOU.
if you're really up for it, make an email account like ubertits.at.gmail.com or something and give the password to anyone that wants to send me pictures. if i got back from my little expedition next week and had an inbox full of tits and pussies, i would have to do something really nice for you to pay you back for sure!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-14 03:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-04-13 23:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...and with all of that concrete around you, you're safe.
=========================================================
safe-ER but not safe. they dropped four more last night right when i was almost asleep and it rained down dirt and rocks on my hooch. they are getting too close for comfort. i don't know why they always try to hit right where i live when there's plenty of other people they could try to hit.
anyway, i don't even worry about the mortars and rockets. i'm more concerned about convoying around the country. i won't be taking Blackhawks to the places i'm going, which is obviously much safer.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-14 03:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-04-13 22:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And by the way, that grandpa's guitar is for pussies... and grandpas. I think you know it.
============================================================
playing acoustic is totally NOT METAL.
i drop the low E down to D sometimes and play metal anyway. i even plug it in and add distortion but it just doesn't sound right with a piezo pickup...
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-04-13 23:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...and with all of that concrete around you, you're safe.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-04-13 23:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Those are Camel Steaks.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-04-13 23:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quiet, Mr. I-Was-Hit-By-A-Mortar-But-Played-My-Magic-D-Chord-And-Now-All-Is-Right-In-The-World.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-04-13 22:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And by the way, that grandpa's guitar is for pussies... and grandpas. I think you know it.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-04-13 22:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't get dead.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-13 19:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Violate.
*pants*
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-04-13 19:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ubersite violates general order.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-13 19:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't get dead, guy.
cards got robbed by shit officiating today.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooops, that was meant to be a +2. And I don't care where you are Mister, your response time to these reviews is appalling ;)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-13 18:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I am game for that. Surprisingly :)
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 17:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
anyone calling a man such as yourself numbnuts simply could not be serious, n'est-ce pas?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-13 17:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, i didn't know typed words without punctuation or font style could inflect sarcasm. i guess the part where you called me numbnuts should have given it away. my bad.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 16:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
uh, i was being facetious there bud
i thoguth you wuz smarte
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-13 16:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 16:03:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that rule is for your own protection numbnuts
===============================================================
think about what you just said. just think about it. go ahead, i'll wait.
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
ok. NOW do you understand how fucking dumb that statement was?
good.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-13 16:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-04-13 15:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IMO BEAT THAT PUSSY UP
=========================================
WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS DICK
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-13 16:03:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that rule is for your own protection numbnuts
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-04-13 15:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IMO BEAT THAT PUSSY UP
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-13 13:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-13 13:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber is a violation of MANY things
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-04-13 13:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber is a violation of MANY things
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-04-13 13:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KBR?
how do i put this gently....
no. the civilians out here that are doing technical work would be extremely insulted to be mistaken for a KBR employee. plus i would never work for such a corrupt company or any subsidiary of Haliburton. i have scruples, believe it or not.
---------------------------
At my job we process the WABI (Workplace Attitudes and Behaviours Inventory) for KBR applicants. They see their recruiter, get scheduled to take the test with us. I have seen people fail it. We also do all kinds of other testing too, if I had to deal with nothing but KBR's I would hate my job.
but 85,000 to be a cook isn't too shabby... thought about it myself, but I decided I would miss my pets too much.
I did think maybe for a moment you were working for Blackwater.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-13 12:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-13 00:33:41 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-13 01:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whenever the liberal douchebags I work with here in San Francisco scream "We're only over there for the money!!!" I say, "Actually, it's just one guy who's over there for the money," and direct them to your posts.
=====================================================================
i make plenty of money without coming over here. i don't agree with this war, but i risk my neck to come help the troops. i know what it feels like to sign up to defend your country and then find out you're more of a pawn in rich old men's games instead.
======
I hadn't read that, now I support your not dying even more.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-13 12:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't die, dude.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-13 10:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-13 09:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you're right.
it's lonely out here on the front lines, risking my life everyday, not knowing if i'll ever get to feel the gentle touch of a woman again....
i think all the women of ubersite should send dirty pictures to me. i was thinking i could set up a shared email account and give the password to one of the uberladies who would distribute it to the rest of the girls and they could all send me naughty pictures anonymously.
man, i come up with some great ideas sometimes. so what do you say, orphelia? do you want to volunteer to coordinate a "hidden101 spank material" operation?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-13 08:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you deserve boobage.
Mine.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-13 03:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES, yes, a thousand times yes!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-13 03:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-13 01:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whenever the liberal douchebags I work with here in San Francisco scream "We're only over there for the money!!!" I say, "Actually, it's just one guy who's over there for the money," and direct them to your posts.
=====================================================================
i make plenty of money without coming over here. i don't agree with this war, but i risk my neck to come help the troops. i know what it feels like to sign up to defend your country and then find out you're more of a pawn in rich old men's games instead.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-04-13 03:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...what shadow said.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-13 02:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, what?
Damn it, Hidden... I didn't even know you were going back to play in the desert again.
*sigh*
Think of all those poor, despoiled burka women...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-04-13 01:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whenever the liberal douchebags I work with here in San Francisco scream "We're only over there for the money!!!" I say, "Actually, it's just one guy who's over there for the money," and direct them to your posts.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-04-12 22:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats on not dying. Try to make it a streak.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-04-12 22:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i wouldnt worry bout the mortars, those neckrolls should provide enough ablative armour to protect you of anything short of direct nuclear strike.
burn.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-04-12 20:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
general order number 1? That sounds serious. What's general order number 2?
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2008-04-12 19:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SSH/Putty rules.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-12 18:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who gives a fuck. Next time, leave your blog on your 14 MySpace pages, Howie.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-12 17:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
KBR?
how do i put this gently....
no. the civilians out here that are doing technical work would be extremely insulted to be mistaken for a KBR employee. plus i would never work for such a corrupt company or any subsidiary of Haliburton. i have scruples, believe it or not.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-04-12 17:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come back safe brother.
you doing the contractor thing with KBR?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-12 16:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry, bud. i don't deal with oil. i'm just here to help the Joes catch the bad guys and hopefully save a few lives in the process.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-04-12 16:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, yo, Hidden... Err could you, like, sort me out the deeds to an oil well?
I might not forward this post to the guys you work for :D
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
glad to be a part of the problem instead of the solution
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry here's your 2 back
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:54:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
like it, eh? don't forget to rate!
i also have a most heated #1 camwhore for ya!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually i live in a trailer and they call them CHUs (pronounced "choo"), or "consolidated housing units".
i'm still calling it a hooch though.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ermmm..... Hooch is SO Vietnam. . .
*i remember*
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks, experima. you are too sweet.
that picture just gave me a raging hard-on and i am going to beat off like you wouldn't believe now.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115952
here's a pic of a chick for you
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:35:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hi, hidden, glad you are all right
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
does it look like i'm in the Army?
thankfully, i am a civilian. my military days are over. they wouldn't let me back in even if i wanted to go back. the Army pays me assloads of money to be here though so i got that going for me.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Play "Freebird."
If the Iraqis are bombing you after that, they deserve swift American justice.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-12 15:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
maybe you shouldnt of been silly enough to join the army