A Short Story About Orphelia and Experima Having Sex (1289 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 0.66 on 58 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HotWillie (View user info) at 2008-04-02 23:10:26 EDT
"They're both down. Finally!"
Orphelia laughed and plopped down on the torn settee next to Experima.
"They're adorable," she said, smiling self consciously and adjusting her micro-miniskirt.
"Little monsters is what they are," Orphelia said, adjusting her bra strap under the torn jumper.
"Hey," Mr. Orphelia exclaimed from the torn upholstered chair in the corner, "you're talkin' 'bout me seed there, luv."
"Piss off! Where's the crisps I asked for half an hour ago? We've got company you know!"
"I bleedin' well know, she's sittin' right there next to you!"
"Whatcha waitin' for then? You know what I like!"
Mr. Orphelia smiled. "I just thought we could..." he raised his unibrow suggestively and slumped down a little so as to better see Experima's panties.
Experima blushed and self consciously adjusted her micro-miniskirt.
"Exie just spent nine hours on a plane and another in the cab and the boys were on a tear and you think she's up for a threeway before we've had a proper chat?"
"I didn't mean-"
"Clear off, wanker!"
Redfaced, Mr. Orphelia eased his ample bulk off the torn chair, hitched up his sagging pants, and pouted out the door under his wife's doleful gaze.
The door slammed shut, and for a moment the two women just looked at each other in wide-eyed silence.
Finally, they burst into gales of laughter. Experima doubled over, gasping between her knees. Orphelia collapsed across her friend's back, giggling uncontrollably.
The laughter gradually subsided and Experima felt Orphelia's arms around her waist.
She took Orphelia's hands and gave them an affectionate squeeze, but Orphelia had something else in mind. She reached under Experima's blouse, roughly pushing her bra up over her tits.
Experima moaned as Orphelia roughly groped her soft breasts. Her nipples were amazingly hard, and Orphelia longed to roughly suckle them.
Experima shyly guided one of Orphelia's hands toward her pussy, but Orphelia, quite strong from her day job as a char woman, chose that moment to lift up and fall back on the couch, roughly pulling Experima with her.
Experima landed on her back on top of Orphelia, who had just executed a perfect reverse flaming lipstick move, with predictably moist results.
She roughly grabbed Experima's cunt with one hand and her face with the other, turning her head and roughly forcing her mouth against her own.
Experima struggled, but Orphelia's probing tongue was not to be denied. Nor were her nimble fingers as she roughly pushed Experima's thong aside and slipped a finger into her steaming, swamp-like pussy.
Experima moaned and spread her legs wide, one heel on back of the torn settee and one on the torn shag carpeting as Orphelia roughly finger-fucked her to orgasm.
Just then Mr. Orphelia entered, holding a bag of Walker's Pickled Onion in his sausage-like fingers and enjoying a perfect view of the chasm whence his wife's elbow protruded.
"Salt n Vinegar you daft cunt!" Orphelia screamed.
Mr. Orphelia sadly turned and left to fill the order.
As soon as the door closed, Orphelia spun the spent Experima around and forced her soft lips down onto her cock. "Suck it you bitch," she whispered softly, as Experima's moans merged with the whimpers of her sons, who watched wide-eyed from the kitchen as their mother once more showed them just who wore the pants in THIS family.
"Don't neglect the balls."
User Reviews
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-06-25 17:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of the Uber classics, like this one, never seem to get enough hits.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-10 08:23:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Forgot you love cocks, sorry.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-09 17:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no thank you
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-09 12:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Twat.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-04-09 11:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I laughed
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Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-08 16:58:31 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha you're getting double teamed by an old maid and a high school kid
but seriously, crystal, 'suck at uber' is a pleonasm
that's like telling doodles he's a virgin
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2008-04-09 01:34:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
GET CANCER
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-03 17:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
we have salads you know and i get 10% off
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:55:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm a vegetarian
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm retarded how much sense are you expecting?
the only job i could get was at micky d's and i could swear you stopped in for a burger
i'm at sunset and western
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you make no sense.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just thought you ate a lot of quarter pounders
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
um, yeah but you know my name.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
diavola?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but you know who i am don't you.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:38:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
if you'll notice i gave you 2s last night when i felt more generous.
i don't understand the liverspotted tranny stuff but i don't know who you are anyway.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and don't you dare bump my rating you bitch i want you to hurt me
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that and the liver spots
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dude. what are you doing to my posts? is this penance for calling me a tranny?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i bet you do
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i prefer developmentally disabled
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 16:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're retarded.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-04-03 11:01:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*unzips, slaps willy on desk*
Hmmm....
*holds up to screen, twists about*
I dunno, Orphy. They all look the same to me. I am obliged, however, to note that mine is far bigger and much prettier than the others.
*willy nods in agreement*
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot, that link is NSFW or weak stomachs.
which one most looks like yours? :)
(*hopes answer is none*)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:21:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-04-03 07:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Welcome to the circle-jerk!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh my...
*vomits quietly*
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:10:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98964
Mine is one of those.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:01:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Email me a picture and we can compare?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had a hot willie once, make sure you take the tablets and apply the cream and it will be fine. Sad thing is that once the infection goes down, your dick returns to its normal size
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-03 10:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you making fun of my cock, FJ?
I bet it is bigger than yours ;)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:59:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree, however having a greyscale picture with orphelia's eyeshadow coloured in was pretty awesome.
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That was the best part, except from Orphelia having a willy ;)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree, however having a greyscale picture with orphelia's eyeshadow coloured in was pretty awesome.
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Exactly. :)
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This story was much like your libido, Willie...strong beginning, then just sorta petered out and the ending was abruptly flaccid.
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I agree, however having a greyscale picture with orphelia's eyeshadow coloured in was pretty awesome.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-03 09:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This story was much like your libido, Willie...strong beginning, then just sorta petered out and the ending was abruptly flaccid.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-03 08:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeesh
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-04-03 07:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Welcome to the circle-jerk.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-03 07:41:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this a true story???
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-03 07:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-03 06:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Don't neglect the balls."
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-04-03 06:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*Ejaculates*
™Apollo etc etc - the big headed scouse cockbandit
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-03 04:45:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-30 03:58:55 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
it was a dark and stormy night. i poured myself another jack and adjusted the showerhead toward my arsehole.
i downed the last and finished cleaning my johnson.
as i stepped out of the shower i felt a familiar scrotal tingling so i logged on and its just as i suspected.
dispatch: whats your 20?
willie: dryin my jacksons.
dispatch: blow 'em fast we got a negative two in progress.
willie: a circle jerk? where?
dispatch: ubersite, where the fuck you think?
willie: is it them again?
dispatch: who else?
willie: the twin gorgons! orphelia and experima!
dispatch: suspects old and dangerous. proceed with caution.
willie: roger that.
as soon as i rolled up i could smell it. like a fish market in july.
break it up i said, holding my nose, but it was no use.
i reached for my radio, eyes burning.
ragman's coat! doubled! i need back up right now! right now motherfucker!
but it was too late.
the stench overwhelmed me, and i was down for the count.
5
4
3
-2
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Worth another +2. :)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-03 04:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not your best work.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-04-03 04:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like how there isnt anybody in the background but you pasted orphelias head there anywhow.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-03 03:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 01:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heyyyyyy...what's with the spots on my face?
certainly not from eating crisps, of which i got NONE in this story.
this was a story about me getting to eat crisps, wasn't it?
========================
eating crisps?
i guess you could call it that.
those are liver spots, btw.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-03 02:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well we did ask for it HotWillie!
This is too funny, you horrid little person ;)
Eyeshadow is genius.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-04-03 02:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yessssssss....
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 02:03:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/99022
here's me minus the spots
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-03 01:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heyyyyyy...what's with the spots on my face?
certainly not from eating crisps, of which i got NONE in this story.
this was a story about me getting to eat crisps, wasn't it?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-04-03 01:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-04-03 00:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
couldn't get any rougher
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-04-03 00:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 category
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-04-03 00:12:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i could write a killer sex scene between orphelia and experima that would give doodles SUCH a little boner but the poor kid wouldn't know what to do with it and i don't want to further burden his poor mother what with seven loads of laundry every week already and the night job at the market down the lane.
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You make me laugh. That is all true by the way.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-02 23:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-04-02 23:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You must like it rough, what with using the word 'roughly' roughly ten times.
===========================
i like my women like my stories.
short and abusive.
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-04-02 23:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I came fast and hard and a little bashful after reading this.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-04-02 23:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You must like it rough, what with using the word 'roughly' roughly ten times.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-04-02 23:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 pic