Smashy Smashy (1441 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: 1.5 on 52 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Matt Maiorano (View user info) at 2008-03-17 23:45:31 EDT
So I got myself Super Smash Brothers Brawl.
Like any self-respecting little nerdling, I was fifth in line for the midnight release. Of course, what that meant was there were a bunch of annoying kids and even more annoying parents in line with them as well.
Originally, the game was slated for release in December. I jumped on that shit immediately and got my reservation in October. Five whole dollars were put towards that game, and I'll be damned if I was going to miss my copy. But alas, the game was pushed back to February 10th.
And then it was pushed back again to March 9th.
That means that I had that game reserved for almost 5 months.
Dedication and self-loathing doesn't get any better than this, friends.
Which is why when some ignorant black woman starts ranting and raving at the manager of the Game Stop I frequent, who also happens to be a pretty good friend of mine, about how she didn't KNOW you had to have a reservation in order to get a copy and that it wasn't properly advertised (it was right in the window) that I get kind of irritated.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but everybody in line has a reservation."
"YOU DI'NT HAVE DAT AVERTIZED!!! I WANNA TALK TO YO MANAGER!!!"
"I am the manager. There's nothing we can do for you."
"WELL WHO CAN I TALK TO DAT CAN DO SOMETHING FO ME!?!?"
Againt my better judgment, I jumped in.
"He can't do anything. What part didn't you get about that!?"
Her eyes bulged out of her skull as if I had taken a dump in her fried chicken. I mimicked that ridiculous look on her face.
"What the fuck did you say to me, cracka!?"
For some reason, this pushed me over the edge.
"Maybe your baby's daddy should slap you in that big mouth of yours to teach you some manners, bitch! Who the hell do you think you are!?"
"I WASN'T TALKING TO YO ASS, CRACKA!!! YOU BEST BACK OFF BEFORE I POUND YO SKINNY WHITE ASS!!!"
Surprisingly, it was a pretty quick retort. I was also in unfamiliar territory. Everybody's eyes were on us, and I'm not used to being the center of attention, let alone getting into fights with black women. In either case, I was at the point of no return. I would either back off and surrender my position in line to cool off, or I would hold my ground.
Working in customer service, I have to deal with a lot of shit. That day, I simply let loose without caring about the consequences. It didn't even feel real when I heard the words leaving my mouth:
"Maybe YOU had better back off before you realize you can't pay for this game with your food stamps."
Point, set, match.
All the air had been sucked out of that entire zip code. From where we were standing, not a sound could be heard except for the sounds of everybody's toes freezing off in the winter air. Her eyes were locked with mine, and I prepared for the haymaker that was sure to come.
After a full ten seconds of facing each other, she suddenly turned, thanked my friend, and walked off. I heard her mutter a few more "cracka"s on the way as she waddled her way to her car, and it was only after she had driven off that my friend turned to me.
"I'm giving you my discount. That was vicious, bro."
"I thought you guys didn't get discounts-"
"Shut up, asshole."
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In any case, feel free to post your Smash codes here. If enough of you have the game with a WiFi connection, perhaps the first Ubersite video game tournament is in order.
0387-8456-3001
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-03-19 20:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2008-03-19 18:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've played the Wii - I like it, but I haven't come across any games to make me an addict.
I have an Xbox 360 - Assasin's Creed is awesome.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-19 00:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i've never heard a nigger use the word 'kracka'.
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2008-03-19 00:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-18 15:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know why people play Madden either, you fucking retard.
What's wrong with just betting on NFL and college football games?
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There's certainly no way that anyone could do both. That's just so ridiculously unheard of!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-18 22:57:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't read reviews much i guess
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-03-18 22:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-18 19:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
it didn't go down like that pussy more like you pissed your pants
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/115615#2672661
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-18 22:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-03-18 20:20:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Maybe YOU had better back off before you realize you can't pay for this game with your food stamps."
If you had actually said this, you probably would have gotten stabbed, or worse.
However, that line alone made me laugh out loud. Well done.
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w3rd
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-03-18 20:20:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Maybe YOU had better back off before you realize you can't pay for this game with your food stamps."
If you had actually said this, you probably would have gotten stabbed, or worse.
However, that line alone made me laugh out loud. Well done.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-03-18 19:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
it didn't go down like that pussy more like you pissed your pants
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-18 16:45:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shlongy is right about wii tennis and bowling and shit, but it isnt comparable to madden at all. madden and real football are two completely different things, while in wii bowling and tennis you just try to simulate the real thing, with the same hand motions and everything. it's completely fucking stupid.
mudwhistle, et al: i would play cod4 too but my connection sucks here at school. my brother plays at home. have you guys ever played socom? im tearing my hair out waiting for socom 4 to come out.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-18 15:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know why people play Madden either, you fucking retard.
What's wrong with just betting on NFL and college football games?
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2008-03-18 14:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-18 12:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And I think that Wii games are the stupidest things ever invented.
Pretend tennis? Pretend bowling? Pretend golf?
How about leaving the fucking house and actually DOING it instead.
I just don't get it.
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You're right! Why do people even play Madden? They should just go play in the REAL NFL.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-03-18 12:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And I think that Wii games are the stupidest things ever invented.
Pretend tennis? Pretend bowling? Pretend golf?
How about leaving the fucking house and actually DOING it instead.
I just don't get it.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-18 12:07:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've got the Hannah Montana game...we should totally play sometime!
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2008-03-18 12:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We don't have this yet. Wii rocks all over my ass. I mean, I love it.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-03-18 12:02:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally love you man... in the straightest way possible.
As soon as she busted out cracka... which is a racial slur (and any subsequent violence she may have performed on you a hate crime) and plus you destroyed her verbally.
That was sweet.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-03-18 11:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Call of Duty 4 is absolutely fantastic.
I don't even like shooters.
And most of you are right, this was a slightly exaggerated tale. I did stand my ground though, but the story actually ended with me shitting all over myself without saying a word.
That's right, I shit my pants. I wear man-diapers. Deal.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-03-18 11:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I played a bit with my little brother last night...nice graphics I think, but not all that exciting.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-18 11:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-03-18 11:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been playing COD4 online like a fiend....I can't seem to get enough of it.
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COD4 will be purchased by me shortly, as well as Viking: Battle for Asgard. Army of Two is pretty fucking awesome (if you have a roommate or friend to play with). Check it out.
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Make sure you have all your other games finished because you won't feel like playing anything else for while
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2008-03-18 11:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Too bad I've made a habit of throwing myself off the platform.
Good times.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-18 11:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 front page because I'm miserably ill today and I couldn't possibly feel any worse.
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2008-03-18 11:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bowser looks badass in that pic, and while I don't believe that conversation actually happened, +2 cuz it was entertaining.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-03-18 11:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been playing COD4 online like a fiend....I can't seem to get enough of it.
=================
COD4 will be purchased by me shortly, as well as Viking: Battle for Asgard. Army of Two is pretty fucking awesome (if you have a roommate or friend to play with). Check it out.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entertaining story.
The Wii is pretty sweet. Smash Brothers does look awesome, although I do enjoy my PS3 much more as more games that are actually worth buying are starting to come out for PS3.
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I've been playing COD4 online like a fiend....I can't seem to get enough of it.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-18 05:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-17 21:07:46 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Videogames do nothing for me, but I thought telling that fat, black, the-world-owes-me-a-living bitch off was nice. Does that make me a racist?
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No, the fact that you assume she thinks the world owes her a living because Mr. poster made a joke about food stamps does, though.
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Actually, it was the sense of entitlement she exuded after being told she needed a reservation to buy the game.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entertaining story.
The Wii is pretty sweet. Smash Brothers does look awesome, although I do enjoy my PS3 much more as more games that are actually worth buying are starting to come out for PS3.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right add goldeneye into my high point list.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mario RPG and Donkey Kong really are much more of a monument to video games. RPG represents the first console where you can move on a three dimensional axis and Donkey Kong was the first game made with pre-rendered 3-D graphics.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goldeneye: Rogue Agent was release for other platforms
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I also neglected to mention Starfox--Starfox was pretty cool on the 64 while the SNES version sucked ass.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GoldenEye 007 was originally announced for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System before being stepped up to the Nintendo 64.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you can buy a Wii at Walmart on Tuesdays between 9-12 or Target on Saturdays between 9-12
wow...I"m a total geek.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:34:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goldeneye was not a nintendo game, it was also a Sega-dreamcast game and I think PS1, but I'm not sure about that.
i was speaking only about game franchises that Nintendo ownes.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You obviously didn't see the video where some fat ass black chick cuts the line at a pizza joint and the guy on a cell phone made the comment "well, it looks like I'm going to be here a bit longer".
Fat black chick got her twice as heavy fat boyfriend to kick that dude's ass while all the other "kraka's" stood by watching and doing nothing.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need a Wii to play Smash Brawl....
:*(
(not overpaying for it on eBay)
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really The 64's only high points were mario 64, donkey kong, diddy kong racing, smash bros and link to the past.
__________________________
Are you fucking kidding me?
HELLO?
BOND? 007? Best N64 game EVAR?!?!
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Seconded. Bond is probably in the top 5 games of all time...any platform...revolutionized the First Person Shooter.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really The 64's only high points were mario 64, donkey kong, diddy kong racing, smash bros and link to the past.
__________________________
Are you fucking kidding me?
HELLO?
BOND? 007? Best N64 game EVAR?!?!
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Maybe your baby's daddy should slap you in that big mouth of yours to teach you some manners, bitch! Who the hell do you think you are!?"
____________________
I seriously doubt that you actually said this.
But, you're a grown adult who still digs Toad and Samus Aran so +2.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-03-18 10:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've not played the Wii yet, and I'm almost afraid to as the games have been mostly shit for the past 8 years on any nintendo system. Really The 64's only high points were mario 64, donkey kong, diddy kong racing, smash bros and link to the past. The gamecube was utter shit. And I'm still holding Mario RPG and Super Mario World as the best games ever made. SNES kicked all sorts of ass.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-03-18 09:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I could never personally justify staying up that late or waiting in line that long for a game, as I would rather wait a month for the stockroom supply to become plentiful. But that screenshot sure does make it look awesome. Maybe someday I'll upgrade from my SNES.
The confrontation was highly amusing too, regardless of ethnicity** of the offending party.
** even though statistics dictate that the aforementioned behavior/speech would only ever come out of the mouth of a black person 99.99% of the time
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-03-18 07:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It probably was someone else that did the speaking and you are using your internet pretense to tell us how bad ass you are. Actually, I don't care as this was an entertaining tale.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-03-18 07:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So the wife picked up a Wii for me and the kids the other day. I've spent 10 minutes playing this game so far.
I'd rather have a Call of Duty 4 Tournament.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-18 05:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-17 21:07:46 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Videogames do nothing for me, but I thought telling that fat, black, the-world-owes-me-a-living bitch off was nice. Does that make me a racist?
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No, the fact that you assume she thinks the world owes her a living because Mr. poster made a joke about food stamps does, though.
If everyone was politically correct, no one would ever say anything funny. Except for maybe Bill Cosby...and some people would say Jeff Foxworthy, but they would be wrong. They would also be incredibly stupid, and possess bad taste. The kind of people that give off a contact-stupid, kind of like weed except encounters with them only end in sadness and despair, as opposed to happiness and Tim's potato chips.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-03-18 04:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Smash. Bros. is a great series.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-18 03:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
heh. what system is that on?
Submitted by Registered_S_O (user info) at 2008-03-18 00:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Her eyes bulged out of her skull as if I had taken a dump in her fried chicken.
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA you earned your stripes right there.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2008-03-18 00:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's fun and all, but sleep is better.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-03-18 00:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the problem i have with most fighting games...
characters have to have equal ability, or compensations that allow them to have equal ability. the fat guy with a hard punch, skinny fast guy with a lighter punch. When i play, i can't get over the fact that all characters are roughly the same, with specials that look different yet take off the same number of points.
and when you win, there's no sense of accomplishment. i beat a stick figure with another stick figure. what's the next challenge...oh, we play again. no thanks.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-18 00:07:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Videogames do nothing for me, but I thought telling that fat, black, the-world-owes-me-a-living bitch off was nice. Does that make me a racist?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-03-18 00:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That game is horrifyingly addictive.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-03-17 23:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*Against......
fuck.