Random: Five Question Friday...A little Late (1896 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.81 on 60 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tiger Lilly (View user info) at 2008-03-01 02:54:04 EST
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
User Reviews
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-03-04 12:48:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
"And to think that I saw it on Mulberry Street"
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
No UFO moments here. Everything is quite explainable.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Sadly, nobody. I'm not a very trusting soul.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
I remember riding on the handlebars of a bike my father was riding and crashing hard after putting my foot into the front spokes. I was about 5. Good times.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
None. They all suck.
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
The Dentist. Far and away the suckiest place to visit. No matter what you are there for the result is mouth pain.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-03-03 17:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
All of them, except the "one fish, two fish" one.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
I'm broke.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Wikipedia/Google, if that doesn't work I ask Buddha.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
My parents worked a lot. We didn't really have time to hang out.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
It's fucking cold. Open the door.
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
Anywhere with a crowd.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-03 12:56:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you will find that my answers won
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-03 12:47:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
I was five. I was at a fair with my dad, I got on a bouncy council and about five minutes into the bouncing fun, some skin heads jumped on too. I remember through all the jostling and other little kids crying, seeing my dad taking off his shoes before he got on that bouncy castle with another dad and, beat the shit out of two of the skin heads, and then grabbed me and got some candy floss. The moral of the story? you can shave your head and put safety pins through your nose, and your bomber jacket probably does look cool and intimidating... but you aint ever gonna scare a dad who's scared for his child.
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I really enjoyed this answer. :)
Submitted by dougiep (user info) at 2008-03-03 11:46:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
green eggs and ham
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
puberty
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
santaclause
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
my dad kicked my ass i was 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
knock knock, come in
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
bed with your sister
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-03-03 11:01:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Butter Battle Book
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Was in a horrible car crash,everyone else got bad cuts, bruises and a few mashed bones. I didn't have a seatbelt because I was sat in the middle of the back seat. I got chucked about all over the place and ended up snuggled against the wind screen and didn't have a single mark on me. Everyone else was convinced I was dead on impact.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Mummy.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
Learning how to shoot with my dad when I was eight. I thought it was going to be a regular thing, but he never took me again.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting pirate.
Interrupting pi-
ARGH!!!
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
My fathers house. It's the scoobydoo house only sinister. Plus my step monster will try and kill me one day. It is only a matter of time. Big, evil, 'country living' house.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2008-03-03 04:51:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh yeah - that should be Bouncy Castle. Im at work, got distracted and typed what I was talking about on the phone (I think).
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2008-03-03 04:50:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book? Dunno... never read any of them. Im english, and grew up in the seventies... I read a lot of Enid B and the secret seven (GHEEY!)
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Um... I wont tell you what happened, but for some reason its happened on three occasions with two people. I have no explanation for it and half the time I dont want to know.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
My mum, and she thinks she knows everything... but she doesnt. I cant ask her advice about the really bad stuff - I dont want her to worry.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
I was five. I was at a fair with my dad, I got on a bouncy council and about five minutes into the bouncing fun, some skin heads jumped on too. I remember through all the jostling and other little kids crying, seeing my dad taking off his shoes before he got on that bouncy castle with another dad and, beat the shit out of two of the skin heads, and then grabbed me and got some candy floss. The moral of the story? you can shave your head and put safety pins through your nose, and your bomber jacket probably does look cool and intimidating... but you aint ever gonna scare a dad who's scared for his child.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
Knock Knock, Who's there, Dr! Dr who? <- Geddit? (see thats how bad knock knock jokes are!).
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
I wont tell you either - but its where the unexplained happened.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2008-03-03 03:36:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Green Eggs and Ham.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
I will share 2 incredible things that have happened recently, but I'm pretty sure there's an explanation. This past Wednesday, I was praying for my ex, as he said he was having difficulties with his finances. I also prayed that *I* would not fall into financial ruin (I worry about things - sometimes for no reason...so sue me). The next day, I get a call from my ex. He is absolutely ecstatic and tells me that he just got a 10% raise FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. THEN, the day after that, my step mom (who has complete control over the family finances and has "cut me off" because I'm not letting her control my life) OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE, decides that she is going to give me $500 for my new apartment. Incredible. There are no words.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
I have several friends that are pretty good at giving advice. I usually will ask one (or poll all) of them.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
I have a lot of wonderful memories with my father and with his side of the family in general. For one, I remember going to my grandparents' house and going shopping with my grandmother. She would spoil me rotten and buy me anything I wanted (I remember distinctly a pink Barbie radio and Barbie sunglasses) because I was the first grandchild, I was a girl (boys as babies and children are no fun...I don't care what any of you say), and I was born on her birthday. Of course, this was ruined when my uncles and aunt decided to procreate.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
I despise knock knock jokes. Sorry. :(
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
I hate going to the doctor, especially for my yearly exam. On top of it being extremely uncomfortable, I never "pass" the initial pap. And since I have reproductive problems already, I always get really concerned that I have cancer.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-02 21:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2008-03-02 20:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
question 3: Who do you turn to for advice
some people answered "myself" to the above question but isn't that a bit arrogant?
---
no
who can tell ya whats right for you, better then yourself
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-02 20:56:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this shit is trite
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-03-02 20:55:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2008-03-02 20:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
question 3: Who do you turn to for advice
some people answered "myself" to the above question but isn't that a bit arrogant?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 18:54:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-02 18:27:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-02 14:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
d_r is so gay for me.
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am not
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Who would be? Blechhhh!!!
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-02 18:27:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-02 14:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
d_r is so gay for me.
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am not
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 18:21:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-02 17:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 12:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thing), this is in fact true.
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You're right, Icky, I missed your tone of voice. I couldn't hear it on my FUCKING MONITOR!
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:) <---- Gay emotion for I'm laughing since you can't see the smile on my face.
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Are you insinuating that all emoticons are gay? Why? They are a part of modern written communication, same as the period, question mark, or exclamation point. In fact, they add a certain edge to the written word. <no longer a need to state the author's intentions parenthetically>
I guess that puts me a leg up on you... :) :P :D Bwahahahaha!!!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-02 17:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 12:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thing), this is in fact true.
=============
You're right, Icky, I missed your tone of voice. I couldn't hear it on my FUCKING MONITOR!
+++++++++++++++++++++
:) <---- Gay emotion for I'm laughing since you can't see the smile on my face.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-03-02 14:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
d_r is so gay for me.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-02 13:52:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Spelling Nazi below :)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 13:36:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Green Eggs At The Overlook Hotel.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Being taken on a whirlwind tour of the universe on the back of a turtle.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Roland Deschain.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
No parents. I'm a figment of your imagination.
5 What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bendo."
"Bendo who?"
"Bend over and kiss my ass!"
Hahahahaha!!
"By the way, Bob told me to tell you that."
"Bob who?"
"Bob down and do it again."
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loathE going to?
The bookstore. Have you seen the price of a new fucking hardback these days?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 13:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-02 13:12:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 12:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry if you resent it. I guess you missed the emoticon, indicating I was being facetious. The rhyming scheme is made for small children. You seem old before your time. Will you resent that, too?
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I guess you missed the tone of voice, by which I indicated that I was both aware of your facetiousness and being facetious in my own comments. Most people assume that just because I had a large childhood home, hate hippies, and like antique firearms I am in fact of a conservative nature, though speaking financially, or as applied to criminals, hippies, or teenagers (practically the same thing), this is in fact true.
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You're right, Icky, I missed your tone of voice. I couldn't hear it on my FUCKING MONITOR!
(practically the same thing): Now, that bit of humor came through. It's all in the wrist. . .
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-02 13:12:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 12:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry if you resent it. I guess you missed the emoticon, indicating I was being facetious. The rhyming scheme is made for small children. You seem old before your time. Will you resent that, too?
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I guess you missed the tone of voice, by which I indicated that I was both aware of your facetiousness and being facetious in my own comments. Most people assume that just because I had a large childhood home, hate hippies, and like antique firearms I am in fact of a conservative nature, though speaking financially, or as applied to criminals, hippies, or teenagers (practically the same thing), this is in fact true.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 12:31:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-02 12:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I rather like hippies. There are too many ambitious people in the world, anyway. I mean, really, who gives a fuck? It's fine with me if the hippies want to step aside. I have a family to support, and shit. Some hippie chicks are great in the sack, too. Some are boring, though, probably on account of being too stoned. I guess this is true of the general population. The B.O. thing really pisses me off, though. Don't mind me; I'm just waiting for the rinse cycle to finish.
===============
The Lungfish Laundry and Tavern, open every day!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-02 12:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I rather like hippies. There are too many ambitious people in the world, anyway. I mean, really, who gives a fuck? It's fine with me if the hippies want to step aside. I have a family to support, and shit. Some hippie chicks are great in the sack, too. Some are boring, though, probably on account of being too stoned. I guess this is true of the general population. The B.O. thing really pisses me off, though. Don't mind me; I'm just waiting for the rinse cycle to finish.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 12:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry if you resent it. I guess you missed the emoticon, indicating I was being facetious. The rhyming scheme is made for small children. You seem old before your time. Will you resent that, too?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-02 12:18:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I resent that incredibly. I also rate it by its sucky and repetitive rhyme scheme.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-03-02 12:11:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
6K sq ft house? Check.
Hates hippies? Check.
Rates books by illustrations? Check.
Spoiled rich little Republican kid.
:)
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-02 11:22:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-02 02:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-02 00:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wah wah wah. No one's entertaining me or providing lengthy answers my brilliantly quirky questions. Cry me a river, monopod.
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Wah wah wah...don't be upset because you're a boring tool who lives a boring life.
I enjoy lengthy answers because unlike you I take an active interest in people. And, for the most part their answers are honest, frank and sincere. Sure some have tall tales to tell, but at least their comments are funny and original unlike yours.
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Fine Ahab, have it your way. I'll stop doing what I'm doing and pay attention just to you.
At six, I hated Doctor Seuss's illustrations because they reminded me of the drug-addled drawings of the hippy artists of the 1960's. I have always hated hippies because despite a laudable devotion (spell that lipservice) to environmentalism, they are useless, incompetent peaceniks who stink of hemp and have nothing to offer to civilization. Their utopia would resemble an opium den, and without a proletariat to feed them, they'd die out. I preferred the Wind in the Willows because, though it involved talking animals, it didn't have an annoying rhyming scheme, the animals actually DID things, and Badger had a gun.
At age seven or eight or something, I was walking through the master bedroom in my childhood home where I heard a woman's voice very clearly say "Hello". The voice sounded exactly as though it had come out of something large and reverberative, like a sewer pipe. Obviously there are no large sewer pipes in the second story of a 6K Sqft house. I also once had something odd get on a recording I was making on a Fisher Price tape recorder, but that's a different story.
They used to have Belugas at the Minnesota Zoo. The things were awesome to a child, as the tank surrounded the viewing area on three sides. I still have several stuffed beluga whales and a foam beluga my father got me from a display at the local liquor store. They took them away some years later. It was never the same.
We square?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-02 02:46:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-02 00:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wah wah wah. No one's entertaining me or providing lengthy answers my brilliantly quirky questions. Cry me a river, monopod.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wah wah wah...don't be upset because you're a boring tool who lives a boring life.
I enjoy lengthy answers because unlike you I take an active interest in people. And, for the most part their answers are honest, frank and sincere. Sure some have tall tales to tell, but at least their comments are funny and original unlike yours.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-02 02:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-02 00:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wah wah wah. No one's entertaining me or providing lengthy answers my brilliantly quirky questions. Cry me a river, monopod.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And so original to boot.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-03-02 01:41:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
- Don't have one, so I'll tell you about another book I like. It's called .... Fuck it. I can't think of anything funny.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
- Ear hair. (Now there's some comedy for you.)
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
- Little Danny (aka, my penis). BTW, "Little" refers to his size relative to Big Danny (me) and does not imply that I have a small penis. I might, and I would be just fine with that, if it were true, and it could be, you tell me, but the moniker "Little Danny" is not meant to imply that he is small thank you very much.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
- I can remember watching "Remington Steele" with my mom when I was maybe 16. Actually, I can remember all sorts of time spent with my mom. There were nightly dinners until I moved out of the house. And I remember going to the grocery store with her. I did some similar things with my dad. Do you want to hear about those? What a strange question.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
Hyacinth makes 'em up all the time and they make no sense whatsoever. I should have written some down, because I can't remember any of them, on account of my age and my drinking habit.
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
The yard of the old lady next door, because it means my wife has sent me over there to do some yard work. Also...anyplace where people mis-spell the word "loathe." I just sneezed with a mouth full of beer. Fuck.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-02 00:51:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-03-01 21:11:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
Nowhere...that's why I don't go to those places.
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Whuh?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-02 00:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wah wah wah. No one's entertaining me or providing lengthy answers my brilliantly quirky questions. Cry me a river, monopod.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-01 23:55:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You too icarus1987. Damn, what a boring life you must have.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-01 23:54:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-03-01 21:11:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bob...why bother even typing responses? Your answers are neither funny or unique. I'm sorry.
How is Yale?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-03-01 21:39:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
I hated Doctor Seuss books. Even as a child, I knew they were the ramblings of a drug-addled hippy.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
I once heard a ghost.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Depends on what I need advice on.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
Being taken to the Minnesota Zoo back when they had beluga whales, age six or so.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
I don't know any.
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-03-01 21:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. "Marvin K Mooney, Will You Please Go Now!" Though I realize today the title should really end in a question mark instead.
2. It involved losing my wallet, and despite looking in the same pocket of my jeans several times and not finding it, it appeared there after I mockingly said a prayer to St Anthony despite having no belief in such things for years. To this day, I have a hard time getting over it.
3. Who do you turn to for advice? My dad. He's a wise and amazing person.
4. I was probably about 8 or so, and I heard the waterice truck ringing its bell up the street. It was pouring out, and my dad ran up the street in the rain to get some for me, but he didn't make it and came home soaked. He then tried to make me homemade water ice with an ice pick and some food coloring, but my Mom never bought kool-aid or any sugary drinks, so we didn't really have anything for flavoring. It didn't taste very good, but I always remembered how my dad really wanted make me smile.
5.ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN'T SAY BANANA?
Extra Credit: I'm not particularly fond of the gynecological exam or the pain associated with a mammogram.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-03-01 21:11:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Happy Birthday To You
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Nothing.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Myself.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
Car trips with my father...assorted ages.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
I don't know any actually good ones.
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
Nowhere...that's why I don't go to those places.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-01 20:07:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2008-03-01 17:08:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My dog fucking bit my foot today. She drew blood. She's never done that before, I'm shocked and horrified.
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First time around I read, "my dog, fucking my foot today, drew blood."
I've had several cocktails mind you.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-03-01 18:25:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
The Butter Battle Book. and to all you Euros who didn't read the Doc I guess that explains why none of you have a soul!
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Where all the vodka went! is swear I saw it in the bottle last night
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Pie or Fivel. Not that I ask for advice much
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
Only remember pops. I took a year off after high school and worked for a non-profit and moved to Little Rock. We'd often go out to eat and go see movies together. Good times, and lots of steak
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
knock knock
who's there?
interrupting completely uncalled for
interrupting comp...(then slap them in the face hard and run)
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
class. college is stoopid
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2008-03-01 17:08:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Oh the places you will go.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
My dog fucking bit my foot today. She drew blood. She's never done that before, I'm shocked and horrified.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
My alter ego, and when they can't help, my best friend as she is brutally honest and generally logical.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
Fishing with my dad. From when I was old enough to hold a stick with a line and hook attached to it, he'd drive out to the lake and let us all take turns driving the boat and learning how to cast a line.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
I don't have one.
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
The exes to drop off the wee one every other weekend.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-03-01 15:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
damnit change my Suess answer to The Lorax... forgot all about that lil guy.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-03-01 15:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Toss up between Green Eggs and Ham and Go Dog Go.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Came to my senses (apparently LSD makes you go out of your head sometimes) 20 meters up a tree.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
No one really, I don't really ask advice from other people. I know my options usually.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
Spending time with my mother usually involves being the muscle on a shopping trip, spending time with my father is usually much more labor intensive while he "supervises".
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Rather.
Rather who?
Rather not come in...
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
The Mall during the holidays
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-03-01 11:19:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Never read one, certainly more popular in the states.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
A stroke.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
My mummy.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
I remember my dad driving my sister and I to school every morning and playing the car game, where at the start we would pick a colour each (couldnt be too obvious ones) and see who had the most by the end of the journey.
Cool.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
knock knock
whose there
your mum
your mum who?
your mum who gives great head when I spank her bottom
hehe
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
Hospital, but seeing my sister with her baby made it a lot nicer.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-03-01 11:06:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. I like the Grinch. I identify with him.
2. This was yesterday, actually. On the way to work that morning, I was stuck behind what appeared to be about a '82 Honda Civic hatchback with a rust spot on the back and a bumper sticker with the Christian flag and the words "The Standard" on it. He was going maddeningly slow and caused me to miss at least 2 lights. On the way home nine and a half hours later, I turned on to McGinnis Ferry and noticed that I had gotten behind the SAME FUCKING CAR. What are the chances, I wonder?
3. I ask my boss for advice pretty frequently. She's my role model.
4. My dad took me on a business trip with him to Washington, D.C. when I was in the 5th grade. It was really fun. I'm pretty close with both my parents though - lots of time together over the years.
5. I hate knock-knock jokes. THey're worse than puns.
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
Hmmm... I'm pretty sure the Comcast customer service center off of North Druid Hills Road is the waiting room for hell.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-01 10:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-01 04:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Carl Sagan.
________________________________________________________________________________
You too? What a coincidence.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-03-01 10:22:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-01 05:01:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some fantastic answers so far.
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No kidding right? People can hate my posts all they want, but I love to learn about different people. So, I rock.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2008-03-01 08:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
they are going to make a green eggs and ham movie...
...i expect it to be as horrible as the other more recent ones
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-03-01 08:10:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Never got into them. I now see Dr. Seuss as being 'americanised' anyone who is non-american knows exactly what that means.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
does that question mean a random event? I have alot. A few weeks ago, I was having a bad day and took a cab home, I was on acid at the time and felt that the cab driver "totally 'got' me" I'm thinking that at some point I gave him my cell no. cos he has been texting me ever since, asking if I'm o.k....His name is Abdul.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Mum. always.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
Well, my 'prefered' parent is my mum. But If I think about memories - it's usually of my dad. I was about 11 years old, and me and dad stayed up late one night and watched this cheesy horror movie on T.V called 'Alligator', and we both absolutely loved it. That same night We made up this completely cliche 'secret handshake' that I promised to always pass on to my eldest born as he had done with me.
the only reason why this memory is more prominent is because about 2 weeks later my parents split up and my dad took off for aussie and I've never really ever talked to him since then.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Go fuck yourself!
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to? these lame, but i'm bored and drunk so....
easy, church. so fucking boring - unless you're stoned. then it's terrifying.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2008-03-01 06:40:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Can't remember. I know 'The Bear Snores on' off by heart though.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
I don't know how I ever passed my driving test.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
I spend more time with my parents now than I ever have in my life I think. They play with the baby and I drink their coffee and read their newspapers.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
Dr Who?
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
I used to hate going to work, but now it is a nice rest from looking after a 1 year old.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-03-01 06:24:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
-------------
Fox in Socks, which is probably the title of a porn film these days
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
-------------
How so many idiots have managed to survive their seemingly inevtitable Darwinist extinction.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
-------------
Buddha, but he usually gives me some crap about "universal calm" or meditation then trys to sneak into my biscuit tin when Im not looking, scrounging bastard.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
---------------
When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother "what shall I be? Will I be famous? will I be rich? heres what she said to me" "Why are you wearing my clothes?! Whats wrong with you?!"
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
---------------
The ones that end with the teller being knocked down by a humvee
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
--------------
Hospital for my 6 monthly check up, just in case the Doc starts his sentence with "Im sorry to tell you this but..."
I think you all know why
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-03-01 06:02:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. "Oh the Places You'll Go"
2. I was driving down a deserted highway in rural VA, from a girlfriend's house at 3:00 am, in the middle of nowhere, when everything lit up neon green all of a sudden. It didn't last long, no more than 10 seconds, but long enough to pull over and get out. When I got out, whatever happened wasn't happening anymore.
3. Myself mostly, I'm pretty damn smart, plus I have trust issues.
4. Getting drunk with my dad. I was seven.
5. Knock Knock oh fuckit, banana.
THE DENTIST- Sadist assholes, one and all. Next would be my Therapist, or as it's better pronounced "My The Rapist."
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-01 05:01:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Some fantastic answers so far.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-03-01 04:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
I wish I had two Feet. DUCK Feet. DUCK. shit - sorry tiger.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
I arrived home from work and brought my and the neighbours bins in. That morning I had also taken out number one's, it was vacant but new tenants would soon be moving in, and the bin was overflowing with garden clippings and the inevitable 'moving day' rubbish from the vacating tenant.
"Now THIS, d_r", I thought to myself as I dragged other peoples bins up the drive, "Is how you get good karma." It was not *why* I was doing it, but I figure that it's a small gesture, and maybe one day when I sleep in or forget my bin somebody will take *it* out to the footpath.
2 hours later I had locked myself out of my home. I had slid the back door closed with the latch in the lock position, and somehow it caught. It was inconceivable. the latch should have be forced down as it hit the catch, not down and then up again. The neighbour on my right wasn't home (probably off shagging that twat Reece), and the neighbour on my left is a little old lady, I wasn't about to bash on her door at 9:30 at night.
I was shafted. I spent about 7 hours in my backyard, occasionally peering through the locked glass backdoor at my well lit and inviting home, the tv blaring out some infomercial, my phone on the kitchen table next to my keys, the beers I had put in the freezer earlier to chill, still in the freezer. It wasn't all bad, it was a nice enough night, until it started to rain. When I wasn't worrying about the red bellied black I had seen once or twice during the holidays sunning itself on the concrete, I would try to force the backdoor open with brute force, but to no avail.
At about five the next morning, as I absentmindedly fiddled with the screen security door that slides behind the FUCKING *LOCKED* GLASS ONE, watching nbc today or some rubbish, I looked down at the security door's grill, pushed a section of screen through and blinked as my fingers easily curled around and flicked the latch. I did this a few more times, incredulous at how simple it was. I looked back up and from my vantage point behind the locked back door, I could look right through the lower level of my townhouse and see the frontdoor, and further through that and out onto the drive, because the only door I'd locked out front the night before was the security door, the EXACT same type of security door as the one my fingers still flicked the latch back and forth on out back. <flick flick, flick flick....> And I'd locked it from the *inside*, without a key.
so I walked around the front, made a small hole in the screen, reached through the grill and let myself in.
karma can suck my balls.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Carl Sagan. I know he's dead now but I can *channel* him. He tells me about astronomy and astrophysics and while I'm pretending to listen I generally figure stuff out for myself. Some people like Pavarotti in the background I like Sagan. sue me.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
When I was a little kid my brother, six years my senior, rode his new yellow bike down our drive, into the garage and straight through the fibro wall at the back. I ran down the driveway to see if he was okay and lost my footing on the 30 degree gradient, tripped and grazed my chin, knees, and the palms of both hands.
By the time my mum had rushed downstairs and crossed the lawn to see what had caused all the commotion, and had found her brave little soldier lying in a 2 inch deep pool of his own blood halfway up the drive, my brother had already plonked the tupperware colander we used as a helmet on my head, and when Mum asked what had happened, he told her *I'd* done it.
"Danger rode my new bike right through the garage Mum, and I mean *right* through it."
"Danger!!" she cried, in that how-could-you tone. I couldn't respond, I was sucking snot back up into my nose with the professional gravity defying grace of a three year old, the tears still tracked down my dirt-caked face, and all I could manage was a pathetic and feeble little whine as I rocked back and forth in an upright foetal postion, hoping the air would go away forever and the stinging with it.
"What's he doing up here on the drive?" My mother asked, reaching down and pushing the curls back from my forehead.
"He was running away.." my brother replied, "guilt I guess."
"Oh Danger, why would you do such a thing? You could have killed yourself.."
"Look at him Mum, he's dressed like Batman - THAT'S not NORMAL.."
Even though my parents were grateful I was still alive, Dad still punished me for being stupid, and confiscated all my lego for a week. I never drove through the garage wall again.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"It's me, the solar eclipse."
"The solar eclipse who?"
"It's Apollo old bean, let me in through the gargage."
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
Mr. Bad's special place. :(
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-01 03:35:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
alright, i guess one fish two fish was pretty good too.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-03-01 03:34:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU MEAN JUST IN TIME!! I was about to sign off.
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
Yurtle the Turtle. By far. No question.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
i want to tell you about something that happened to me with two lesbians last year BUT SOMEHOW my memory is hazy. i wasn't drunk, i just dont remember exactly what happened, for some reason, but my friend told me she still has the text message i sent her when i told her the story, so maybe i can retrieve it and tell the story in a post some other time. i remember thinking it was the most surreal thing that has ever happened to me. ugh
Instead, lets see... um, on halloween this year, i came back early from a party because i was tired and bored. i went to bed, and sometime later a moderately attractive girl shook me awake and we did things that are not conducive to a good night's sleep. i have never seen her since then and i still dont know who she was or where she came from.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
My dad, I guess. It happens probably twice a year, and he says some awfully intelligent things. I'm always surprised by how smart and cool he can be. Besides that, I dont ask for advice from many people, and if I do I dont listen to it. I trust myself.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
I wrote a paper about this for psychology last year. Adler said that our earliest memories shape our personalities for the rest of our lives. My earliest memory was at Milwaukee County Stadium, the old Brewers ballpark, but the Packers played there twice every year. This was a Packers - Patriots game, and I was maybe 3. I was playing with some Matchbox cars or something behind the seats where my dad and my uncle were sitting. I remember looking up, totally disinterested, and asking what inning it was. When they told me there was a difference between innings and quarters, my world was rocked.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
Knock Knock,
whos there
the police.
the police who?
no really, its the police, now open the door or we will break it down.
(i couldnt think of any good ones...this is the last one i heard)
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
I hate going to my weightlifting class. Christ almighty, that class is worthless. I only signed up so I would get some sort of free gym pass, so I wouldnt have to sign up at the YMCA, and now I have anyway. We went over lifts for the first two weeks, and since then we have been working on specified workout plans. During a 40 minute class session, we are supposed to hit 6 different muscle groups. Basically that means I leave in the same condition I came in that day and without breaking a sweat. I asked the teacher if I could just expand my workout, go to the Y for two hours every day, stop coming to class, and then when I post-test I can prove that I haven't just been sitting on my ass, and she said no. This class is a waste of my morning three days a week. At least the class ends next Wednesday, so I will have the time to go to a real gym in the mornings.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-01 03:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
I don't have one, he was never that popular over here. I love Roald Dahl, Dirty Beasts. Awesome. http://www.eric-carle.com/ And everything by Eric Carle is wonderful.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Two years ago, I had treatment for a tumour behind my right eye. I was on awful medication, including 12 steroids a day, it should have been impossible to get pregnant with my second son, but I did.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
My partner. He is my best friend. Though, if I have a problem, I tend to keep it to myself and sort it out on my own.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
Around 3 years old. I remember helping my dad do the flowers borders in our front garden. It was a lovely garden, white picket fence and five blossom trees, three pink two white. I would play in the fallen petals. My dad had given me a small plastic fork to dig with. I had eaten one and a half earth worms before he noticed.
That, and eating dessicated coconut in a Muppets t-shirt.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
They are all pretty moronic. I prefer Doctor Doctor jokes.
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
Food shopping. I do it on line now, despite living a mile away from a supermarket. The stupid trolleys with stupid wheels, the stupid couples taking an hour which spaghetti sauce to pick, fuck me, I hate it. I try to do my shopping locally anyway - the butchers, the bakers, the greengrocers. I get a free lollipop and a wink everytime I go to the greengrocers.
Submitted by bjrog2 (user info) at 2008-03-01 03:29:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1. Gotta be The Cat In The Hat
2. Bite mark on my left bicep, deep bitemark. Looks female
3. My mum, every time. She's my rock, weathered life and all its storms (sorry for lame cliche)
4. Playing Wing Commander on our (then) new $4000 Pentium 166, with my dad, couldnt have been any older than 7, best memory i have with him
5. "Knock knock"
Whose there?
"This line"
This line who?
"This line doesnt rhyme with anything, and neither does this one"
Extra Credit: Laothing going to my mates engagement party in 20 minutes... hate his fiance, she hates all his mates. Bitch
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-03-01 03:13:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
The Bible has all the stories I need thank you very much.
2. Tell me about something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
Occasionally I masturbate to gay porn, but I'm actually straight.
3. Who do you turn to for advice?
Bill O'Reilly. If he's unavailable, then Glenn Beck. Tucker Carlson as a last resort.
4. Tell me about a memory you have spending time with one of your parents? How old were you?
I was nine years old, and I remember my father having been dead for a little over two years at that point.
5. What is your favorite 'Knock Knock' joke?
That one Bob Dylan wrote.
Extra Credit: Tell me about a place you loath going to?
Big pools of molten lava. I say "No, thank you" to that!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-03-01 03:06:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ONLY THE EGGS WERE GREEN; THE HAM IS SUPPOSED TO BE A NICE PINK i DO NOT CARE WHAT theodore giselle HAS TO SAY ABOUT IT