Ubertines '08: Queen of Hearts (912 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.36 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ballare (View user info) at 2008-02-12 22:48:11 EST
The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small.
***
She laughed harshly, cupping his jaw in one long-fingered hand, and brought him roughly up to his knees, pulling him towards her with a sharp digging of her red-painted nails into the soft white underflesh of his chin. The other hand lightly held a cigarette - her fingers curled gracefully, lovingly, around the thin cylinder - and her quick, panting breaths drew the twisting white smoke into her flared nostrils.
Her gaze was tinged with a manic energy, madly demented, and her mouth was flecked with white spittle as she stared intently at him. His eyes lifted to meet hers, and their dark shapes held only hatred and fear of her.
"Stop looking at me like that," she hissed, her lips parting to reveal broken, jagged, yellowing teeth, "it's the lover's day today."
Slowly, one by one, she withdrew her nails from his flesh, and the lingering crescent indents oozed delicate crimson droplets. He shuddered, softly, as the smooth skin of her palm ran along his cheek, his neck, and came to rest on his naked shoulder.
She laughed a sharp cough of smoke into his dark scowl. "And aren't you my lover?"
She noted how his eyes filled with bewildered hope; how he breathed in, hoarsely, huskily; how his shoulders pushed up against her hand; how he tensed at her words. A cruel smile twisted her mouth, and she lifted her cigarette to her mouth and inhaled deeply.
When she next spoke, it was in a cloud of smoke that wreathed her head. The stale, harsh scent filled his nostrils, his lungs, his whole being as she bent close to him.
"Oh, yes, my dearest, my darling, aren't you my lover? Weren't you the one to hold me close and breathe sweet nothings to me? And didn't we spend long nights in each other's arms? And... mmm... yes, didn't you write me those so-sweet love notes, passionate passages, those long loving words all so prettily strung together? Hmm? Yes?"
He had tilted his head back, allowed his mouth to fall open as he gazed blankly at her, uncomprehendingly. As though unwillingly, he jerked a nod.
"Oh my loveliest of lovers, and where did I find you two days ago, when I expected to return to the arms of my most devoted companion, but wrapped around a slender little thing, all hot and panting and moaning and slick? Did I? Do you recall it?"
Again, that mechanical shudder of acquiescence. Eyes closed, he sagged markedly under her soft touch.
"Yes, that's right," and the words were a low purring in his ear, "I saw her, and you, and oh how I felt the betrayal of it - of you. How dare he, I thought, how dare he when I had given him so much and asked so little! Ahh, yes, what grief I felt in my heart. There is only one thing to be done with you, I think."
And she bore him backward gently, on to the soft red velvet behind him. Momentarily his wrists struggled against the bonds that held him tight, his mouth working in vain against the strip of cloth that held him silent.
And she slid the long knife out from her belt, and smiled, again, slowly.
"Will you give me your heart for once and for all, my love?"
***
'Off with his head!' she said, without even looking round.
User Reviews
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-03-04 23:01:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The road to hell is paved with adverbs." Stephen King
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-22 22:06:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Priorities straight, below.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2008-02-22 15:05:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I meant write after the boobs.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-22 13:09:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Cowfriend, you mean you don't want to see my boobs?
:(
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2008-02-22 03:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2008-02-22 03:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:10:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
would you be happy if I just posted a collection of boobs?
____________________
Post more writing. Please.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-15 21:59:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There is definitely room for developing a bigger story here, but for a first round entry? Hell yeah. I love, love your writing style.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-02-14 00:56:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aight. I like your style. Not this story.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2008-02-13 23:52:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-13 15:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I actually like the way this was written, a good job there, but it doesn't really come from anywhere or go anyplace.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-13 15:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I actually like the way this was written, a good job there, but it doesn't really come from anywhere or go anyplace.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-02-13 14:42:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was good, but it seems like you used a lot of adjectives.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-02-13 14:30:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ballare
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-13 14:16:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked the idea but i think you could have tied it to THAT queen a little better. I also found your file name glib and somewhat dismissive of the effort you put into this. i don't know it just seemed out of place.
Submitted by BlazinBull (user info) at 2008-02-13 14:11:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-13 13:52:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yayyyy!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-13 13:31:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Winning helps, but even though my nipple steel enhances my boobage, you definately win in weight and form. Plus, my penis detracts from the overall appeal.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-13 13:25:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs more plot. Sorry mate.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
IS THIS ABOUT PANCAKES?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:24:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She's very attractive, and her boobs are much more appealing than my own.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:24:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, happiness is a relative thing, you know?
i mean, would i look at the boobs and enjoy them? sure. would it give me some sort of fundamental emotional state of happiness or serenity? not likely.
would i like you to post boobs as your entry into this contest? well, not necessarily, and it's moot anyway at this point as you've already posted. however, you SHOULD keep that as a contingency plan as it WILL guarantee you a victory.
that only matters, of course, if victory in an online writing competition is something you value.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:12:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're reasonably attractive.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:10:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
would you be happy if I just posted a collection of boobs?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:09:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
do i hate that guy? it's hard to keep track of...
how will i know who to vote for if i can't even keep all you people straight? i should have a spreadsheet or something. how do you guys keep track of who is your friend so you can vote for them in these uber contests?
also, don't you owe uber a boobs post?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:03:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
scourge, I'm up against monkeyswithguns
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:02:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, this is my gift to you
http://i30.tinypic.com/29w2t7s.jpg
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-13 12:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i need to know who you are competing against so i can rate you correctly.
???
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:52:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It was pretty good, you have a rich and vibrant writing style that would make you popular if you could get a book published, but I personally don't fancy it.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Right. I've checked and there are NO records of your face on this website.
For all I know you're some sort of hippo. Please post a picture of yourself to confirm your svelt, nerdlinger, status.
And why the FUCK am I not on the Uberdirectory!? Phuzzy will pay for this insult!
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:48:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:37:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck if I know, I barely know who's human around here
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:36:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if I sprouted a wang and looked any less attractive than I do right now I would probably lower my own rating, too
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:36:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Who's the scottish woman around here then? Can you remember?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:34:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Phew. For a minute there I thought I had to lower my rating.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:33:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no no I'm still a wimmin no worries, and respectably hawt in a geeky librarian kind of way. it's the glasses I think.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:30:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
ARE YOU EVEN A WIMMIN?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
OMG! DOES THIS MEAN YOU AREN'T FUNNY OR HAWT EITHER?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:28:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
except for one stint in Europe for a year but that doesn't count, my passport still has a maple leaf on it
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
very sure. far as I know, I've live in Canada my whoooole life
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:26:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
scottish? I'm not scottish. berty, where are you getting your information from?
--------------
You aren't? Are you sure?
What are you then?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 11:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
scottish? I'm not scottish. berty, where are you getting your information from?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-02-13 09:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
couldn't dig it.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-13 08:45:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poopy.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-13 08:35:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Much better than my own.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2008-02-13 07:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i was going to be dissapointed if this post was anything but the whitesnake song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XvUKNqFti8&feature=related
Submitted by EkO (user info) at 2008-02-13 07:25:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was a bit underdeveloped and not wholesome enough to elicit true emotion. Still, a solid effort***
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-13 06:02:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I've re-read this and decided that it is terrible. The characters are thin, the premise of love being a spiky and hateful thing is poorly explored. The only element of merit is the bit about stabbing fingernails which made me feel uncomfortable and think about wearing a hessian shirt.
I know you're funny and hawt and scottish and everything but I'm afraid this was poo.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-02-13 05:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good effort
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-13 04:36:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
CREEPY!
Sweet pic.
Submitted by JacobKReist (user info) at 2008-02-13 04:01:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Pre-Clears,
The aims of Scientology are: A civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where man is free to rise to greater heights. The application of Scientology technology, developed by L. Ron Hubbard, can resolve the major social issues we face in the 21st Century, including drugs, illiteracy, the breakdown of moral standards and consequent soaring crime rates. The Church of Scientology International and Scientology churches on five continents sponsor programs implementing L. Ron Hubbard's technology to resolve these and many other social ills.
_
REVEREND JACOB K REIST
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-13 03:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Aussie_Ants_4.0 (user info) at 2008-02-12 23:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Darkside of Alice in Wonderland !!!
All it's missing is a Caterpillar smoking opium !! Oh well, next time..
---
Gotcha covered!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/109735
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-13 03:43:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is good (good luck Ballare!)
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-02-13 03:23:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA @ Berty below.
By the way, this ruled as much as I expected...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-13 03:01:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I masochist and a sadist go into a bar.
The masochist turns to the sadist and says "I want you to hurt me."
The sadist turns back to the masochist and says "no."
Submitted by DanteCrane (user info) at 2008-02-13 00:28:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
nice
Submitted by Aussie_Ants_4.0 (user info) at 2008-02-12 23:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Darkside of Alice in Wonderland !!!
All it's missing is a Caterpillar smoking opium !! Oh well, next time..
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-02-12 23:22:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
at least it wasn't his pee-pee
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-02-12 23:05:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin' A.