I am not myself today (452 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: -1 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <romiustexis.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2008-02-12 08:03:42 EST
I'm not myself today
which is why I sent those drunk
christmas cards out
I swallow buckets of
energy pills
caffeinated mints
people must think my breath stinks
which it probably does
Brushing the teeth is
a crime. I hope all you bourgeoisie do it.
I'm gonna let 16 year old's hug me all day at work let them squeeeze me
i feel their tiny tits
their little nubs and hard nipples
but i don't get excited
I write you perverse limericks
and I take the bus
to a psychiatrist who promises to let me drive again
If I can just give him a hundred and 20 dollars
"do you have any openings?" I ask the receptionist
and just for me -
she finds an opening
we know how you DUI guys want to get your license back
"can you come tomorrow?" she asks.
How about 12:30 or 1:30 or 2:30 or 3:30
Scott has to leave by 5 today
but normally we are open till 7
"You seem so busy" I remark
but she takes no offense
and writes my name down in her book
I plan my trip on google maps
and i'm warned the bus will cost me $3.75
Like i don't no anything about all day bus passes
what sucker ?? pays 3.75 ??
when he can get the all day pass for
3.50?
i know they try and keep a good man down,
so what will they do with me? but i'll pay the shrink
and then i'll lie
And promise not to drink again
but the first day
i get back behind the wheel
i'll run your ass over
chugging a bottle
of wild turkey down
tossing empty bottles
at homeless bums
and bike riders
and walkers
all the scum who can't drive
cuz there ain't nothin'
worse than
walking on the streets
in this flat city
User Reviews
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-02-12 09:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wild Turkey sucks.
Come to think of it - so does this post.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-12 09:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He's taking funny talk.
-- Homer Simpson
Like Father, Like Clown
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-12 09:20:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:58:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hadley FTW
-----
Word. Bitches.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:58:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hadley FTW
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:56:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, no
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:53:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:46:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not myself today
I am awake
Productive
Motivated even
And this
post
blew
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you suck.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
once in a while I get to work and find out I have a pair of my wife's panties on. While they do feel ever so soft I am compelled to wonder if it was I in fact that dressed myself that morning.
so i guess I know how you feel.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2008-02-12 08:06:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
meh