My Goddamn iPhone (3343 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.81 on 95 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JMG114 (View user info) at 2008-02-08 10:05:02 EST
When the iPhone was released last year, I had to have one. I knew that it was the product I was waiting for, the product that would finally bring me up to speed with my childhood idol: Penny from Inspector Gadget.
Finally, I'd have my OWN computer book! Finally, I'd be able to save my uncle from all sorts of zany adventures! Finally, I'd be able to decrypt nuclear launch sequence programming! Finally, I'd be able to make sweet, sweet lovins to Brain, the most svelte of yellow dogs! Ah, yes.
I didn't buy it right when it came out, so I avoided the whole "we just discounted the iPhone so here's $100 to spend on Apple products" debacle. When I bought it, I promptly hacked it, as no self-respecting T-Mobile user would ever be caught dead switching to AT&T just to activate the phone to take nude pictures of myself that I never, ever do.
So the iPhone and I had many merry adventures for months. We looked up movie times, checked on traffic, watched porn, found some classy Chinese restaurants, blinded my foes with its shiny surface, invited my foes to watch porn, etc.
All that changed when I used one of those charger/transmitter cords used to power and transmit the iPhone's music onto your car's stereo. I plugged it in and at once it drained the battery to about 20% of its life, allowing it to remain uncharged for only about three hours a day. Gah!
This was a problem and no mistake. I couldn't very well bring it into the Apple Store, as they'd see that it was hacked and give me their facial-punch-worthy: "You hacked it, so it's not our problem!"
Bullshit. It is your problem. A transmitter/power cord you sold me drained the battery. I'll make it your problem.
I allowed the iPhone's battery to totally die, so much so that no amount of overnight charging/praying/invocations to Assyrian demon rabbit gods would wake it. That's when I brought it into the Apple Store, complained that it came that way out of the box, and received a shiny new replacement iPhone.
After this, I didn't really want to worry about the hassle of hacking, updating, and upsetting poor, poor Steve Jobs any longer. This past Saturday, I decided to sell the replacement phone, in the only time-honored, American way that I knew:
Craig's List.
No joke, within ten minutes, I received about a dozen responses. Deciding to be democratic, I chose the first responder. I sent him an e-mail.
"Hi. I'd like to sell you my iPhone. Where and when would you like to meet up?"
His response: "Where you at? I'm in Brooklyn."
Me: "I'm in Henderson, NY. Do you know Iroquois County at all? It's a bit of a drive from Brooklyn, so I can meet you halfway sometime this week. How does that sound?"
"I wanna pick it up tonight."
I looked at the clock. It was 7:45pm. I was a little unnerved that someone would be so desperate to drive about fifty miles to here from Brooklyn on a Saturday night, but don't worry. I had every reason to be unnerved, as you'll soon see.
Me: "Well, if you really want it tonight, that's fine. In fact, if you drive up here tonight, I'll take some money off the asking price. How does that sound?"
"Yeah. How do I get there?"
I e-mailed him (very accurate) directions.
He wrote back: "My girlfriend is coming with."
Okay. That's fine. I don't need to be told that, unless you're offering her in trade. If that's the case, then I need to know a good deal more about your girlfriend, such as her height, level of education, and her blue book value.
We arranged to meet at 9:30 at a Starbucks about two miles from me. I made it there at 9pm, pleased that I was respectful enough to be there early.
9:20pm
RING
*Jared picks up his phone*
"Hello?"
"Hey. We're just on the Brooklyn Bridge. We'll be there soon."
From the Brooklyn Bridge, Henderson is about an hour drive. Well, no matter. Perhaps there was some emergency, like your cat escaped and climbed into bed with your mother and sat on her chest while she masturbated. And you just had to get your cat back. Somehow.
9:45pm
RING
*Jared picks up his phone*
"Hello?"
"Where the fuck are you?"
...
"Hello? Did you hear me? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"
"I-I'm in S-S-tarbucks! Are you here already? I'm right inside..."
"We're at the Starbucks! We don't see you nowhere!"
"You're here? Already? I don't see you. Are you in the Starbucks in Henderson, NY?"
...
"Hello? Are you in the Starbucks in—"
"What the fuck? We're in the Starbucks in the Bronx!"
"The Bronx?"
"Why the fuck did you send us here?"
"I . . .didn't. Why would I have? I'm not there! I told you that I'm in Henderson! Didn't you follow my directions?"
"No, my girlfriend MapQuested directions. Ah, fuck."
"Oh. Hmm."
"How the fuck do we get to you now?"
"Well, follow the directions I sent you."
"Fine."
Click
10pm
RING
*Jared picks up his phone*
"Hello?"
"Your directions say to get off the Blackwood Turnpike at exit 26."
"Yes."
"There is no exit 26."
"There isn't? Are you sure?"
"Yeah. It just goes up to exit seven. Then it ends. Where the fuck do we go?"
"I took exit 26 to make it home tonight. It must still be there."
"Well, it isn't."
"It must be."
"Then where the fuck is it?"
"After exit 25. Just stay on the turnpike."
"Whatever."
Click
10:30pm
RING
*Jared picks up his phone*
"Hello?"
"You said to make a right off the Preston Road exit."
"That's right. You're almost here."
"We took the exit. Now there's a stop sign. Where the fuck do we go?"
"It's a right off the exit. Like I told you in the directions."
"I know. We made the right to get on the exit off the turnpike. Then where the fuck do we go?"
"It's a right. A right off the exit."
"Dude! I fucking MADE THE RIGHT ONTO THE EXIT! Now there's a stop sign! Where the fuck do we go?"
...
"Hello?"
"A right. Make a right."
"Fine. Then where the fuck are you?"
"The Starbucks is 1.8 miles down the road on your right-hand side."
"1.8 miles? How the fuck far is that? How the fuck am I supposed to know 1.8 miles?"
"Do you have an odometer in your car?"
"Yeah. So what?"
"You can use that to discover distance traveled."
...
"Hello?"
"We'll be right there."
Click
10:45pm
RING
*Jared picks up his phone*
"Hello?"
"Where the fuck are you?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Where's the fucking Starbucks? My girlfriend is hungry."
In the background, I hear, "Yeah, I'm hungry."
Me: "It should be on your right side, 1.8 miles beyond the exit."
"Here's a 7-11."
"If you've hit the 7-11 then you've gone too far. Turn around. I'll now be on your left-hand side."
"Here's a fire station."
"Okay, if you've hit the fire station then you've gone too far in the other direction. Turn around. Now Starbucks will be on your right-hand side."
"Fine."
Click
10:55pm
Starbucks is about to close. I nervously catch the barista's eye, hoping that they won't throw me out into the parking lot at closing time, as I don't want to be alone with whoever or whatever is coming for me from Brooklyn.
The door opens, and the most blinged-out fellow you can imagine walks in. Well over six feet and as broad as any college linebacker, his girlfriend trots silently in his shadow.
Despite how long I had to wait and how patient I was forced to be, I still put out my hand for him to shake. Politeness is next to godliness... or horniness... or whatever.
He shakes my hand and says, "I was ready to fuck you way the hell up for sending us up this fucking far."
"Did I not mention that I wanted you to meet me in Henderson? It's a hike from Brooklyn."
"Whatever. Let me see your iPhone."
I show him the goods and he looks it over. He asks, "How do I get photos and music and shit on here?"
I reply, "Well, you can either hack it or open up an account with AT&T. You can—"
"I have to WHAT?"
I blink. "An account with AT&T is required for activation, unless you're going to hack it," which I had a feeling wasn't going to happen in this case.
"AT&T? I FUCKING HATE AT&T!" He turns to his girlfriend. "Did you know that I need an account with MOTHER FUCKING AT&T to get music and photos and shit on here?"
She nods slowly. "I told you! I was all like, 'Why you want an iPhone? You need an account with Sprint or something.'"
"FUCK!" he yells, turning the heads of baristas and good coffee lovers everywhere. He opens his own phone and dials a number. I start to back away, towards the exit, slowly.
"Yo," he says into his phone, "Did you know that I got to have an account with fucking AT&T to get pictures and music and shit on my iPhone? I fucking hate AT&T."
Now desperate to NOT make the sale, I say, "You know, I used to have AT&T and I didn't like it either. Let's just not make the deal, okay? No hard feelings."
"Whatever."
He and his girlfriend drive all the way back to Brooklyn. In that amount of time, I was able to pick up some Taco Bell, go home, watch "Catholic Sorority Sisters 4: The Revenge," and write this up.
I sold the iPhone to someone else the next morning.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-08-19 19:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aye
Submitted by metalbeast7 (user info) at 2008-08-19 19:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow
its these kind of posts that i like
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-08-08 17:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-08 15:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-techblog8-2008aug08,0,2837557.story
Ha Ha iBots
Submitted by svgwrestler (user info) at 2008-08-08 14:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2008-06-06 22:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT
How've you been man, aside from nearly being killed over an iPhone? Then again, who hasn't been nearly killed over an iPhone?
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2008-05-26 20:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good lordship...another epic post, as usual.
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2008-03-25 14:19:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entertaining as always.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-03-13 03:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-10 11:22:35 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember a guy coming over to look at a camera he wanted to buy off me. He walked through my house looking into all the bedrooms then asked me if I liked calendars.
-----
Either he has bad pick up lines, or your house is filled with an abnormal number of calendars.
Submitted by jared.melton (user info) at 2008-03-13 03:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 anyone that can spell "Jared" correctly.
Also, kickass post.
Submitted by dougiep (user info) at 2008-02-22 11:05:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lmao that was great
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2008-02-14 00:40:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Im torn on how to rate this. Just for owning the iPhone alone deserves a -2 from me, but the fact that you had some jackass drive all the way from brooklyn over to you, is worth the +2, even if you didnt intend on them doing it for nothing.
Ah fuckit, its worth the +2 cause Starbucks is the best place to make deals at, shady or not.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-02-11 11:56:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nifty
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-02-11 06:13:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-02-10 14:22:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember a guy coming over to look at a camera he wanted to buy off me. He walked through my house looking into all the bedrooms then asked me if I liked calendars.
That was the last time I sold anything online.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2008-02-09 18:10:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HOOOOOOORAYSSS
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2008-02-09 13:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-02-09 11:29:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i love my iphone.
however, the battery went flat yesterday and now it won't charge.
<quietly frets>
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2008-02-09 11:25:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i can't imagine life without zany adventures.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-02-09 07:32:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture is so, so wrong.
GO GO GADGET WEBCAM!
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-02-09 06:35:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Call me a well endowed ignoramus if you must but what is so bad about AT&T?
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-02-09 04:22:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-02-09 04:07:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yes.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-02-08 23:03:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:23:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, if some stranger called me and talked to me like that, there would be no meeting up for the sale of an iPhone.
-----------------------------------
Everybody in Brooklyn talks like that; I'm sure it was nothing personal.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-02-08 22:44:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I wasn't impressed.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-02-08 22:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Post of the year. Love the Penny Porn. The only way it would have been better is if the dumbass from Brooklyn ended his evening by driving back to Brooklyn and tagging Method's Mom with 4 of his fellow football player friends. She's really into that shit, especially if they're all black.
Submitted by Nyrea (user info) at 2008-02-08 21:43:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-02-08 20:32:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-08 20:12:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-02-08 15:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
=====
No comment from the SNOTTY SNATCH???? wow
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2008-02-08 20:07:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like AT&T...
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-02-08 19:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a good read.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-02-08 19:42:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mace would have made it all better
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-02-08 18:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-02-08 18:42:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2008-02-08 17:24:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a) It's nice to see something actually well written again for once
b) You must remember that Brooklynites only understand "south of the Tappan Zee" (Bronx), and "north of the Tappan Zee" (the midwest)
c) Funny how apple still can't quite their batteries and power supplies right, isn't it?
Submitted by iacobus (user info) at 2008-02-08 16:59:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Disturbing picture. Funny story.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-02-08 16:05:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha ha, Inspector Gadget.
This was some hilarious writing...and not just because that guy was an idiot.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-02-08 15:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why bother even staying at the Starbucks?
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-02-08 15:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-02-08 15:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-02-08 15:34:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:33:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I haven't read it yet but I'm sure it's better than 88% of the stuff that's been on the front page over the last few months.
-------------------
O-man - that hurts my feelings. Its true - but its still hurts.
---
It should hurt your soul, Childe Harolde.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jared knows who I am, Method, because he's brighter than you could hope to be. You're the one who's always sucking something out. . .
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Jared, you might have met Bubba already from such places as 2 reviews below; he has the uncanny ability to suck every single ounce of funny out of a room
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF JMG?
SRSLY
I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN RED SOX TERRITORY?
im so confused.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:33:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:15:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-08 18:02:46 GMT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck iPhones and fuck ALL technology, for that matter.
Because I don't know how to use much of it.
------------
We have this thing now called "the wheel"...sorry, am I going to fast for you
=======
Shlongy was teched-out after he discovered fire.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"This embellishment-free real life stuff always kicks ass. "
theres no fucking way this is without embellishment. no story is without some embellishment.
==========
Bullshit, Id. EVERYTHING Sicosemen writes is 100% REAL SHIT!!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-02-08 14:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd have called time of death at 9:45.
sorry for your trouble.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:41:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, this post put Bowie's "Under Pressure" in my head, mostly Mercury's part.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:40:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't understand how a first come, first serve basis is comparable to Democracy, but ok.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:37:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
An excuse for another +2 because I'm an idiot who spells "Jerry" wrong.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:36:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is gold, Jery, gold!
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:23:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, if some stranger called me and talked to me like that, there would be no meeting up for the sale of an iPhone.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:15:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-08 18:02:46 GMT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck iPhones and fuck ALL technology, for that matter.
Because I don't know how to use much of it.
------------
We have this thing now called "the wheel"...sorry, am I going to fast for you
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:09:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-02-08 13:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck iPhones and fuck ALL technology, for that matter.
Because I don't know how to use much of it.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff. I always pick stuff on craigslist up in person, because usually when you find stuff in DC it's in walking distance.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:48:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:38:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
invocations to Assyrian demon rabbit gods
------------
I sacrificed a whole shitload of carrots to those fuckers to get a Wii and all I got was a fuckin PSP. Pricks.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:26:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lulz
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:06:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-02-08 12:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"This embellishment-free real life stuff always kicks ass. "
theres no fucking way this is without embellishment. no story is without some embellishment.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"You can use that to discover distance traveled."
That line made me laugh out loud, literally.
Solid story.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:53:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:46:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
iPhone bashing, Jared abuse, great writing and rule 34 on Penny.
This one goes down in the annals (anals?) of Uber history.
*applause*
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:38:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Motherfucking AT&T.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This embellishment-free real life stuff always kicks ass.
Good stuff, thanks for the laughs.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:33:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I haven't read it yet but I'm sure it's better than 88% of the stuff that's been on the front page over the last few months.
-------------------
O-man - that hurts my feelings. Its true - but its still hurts.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:08:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Jared.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2008-02-08 11:00:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
iPhones suck
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:59:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great stuff.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:52:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
J-Money, as soon as he said "Where the fuck are you?" that was a dealbreaker.
I didn't want to say it at the time, but when you were showing me pics on it I knew you were cursed. The iPhone is...a demon.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh man, you totally should have talked about how you virtual J-dated with it and the wacky hijinks that ensued when she found out you had an iPhone but were l33t enough to not use it on AT&T at first.
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:45:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Go Gadget Go!!!
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:40:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep it real, Taco Bell.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:39:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wasn't Penny supposed to be a child?
Submitted by spacemonkey (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny
Best I've seen here in a while.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:33:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I haven't read it yet but I'm sure it's better than 88% of the stuff that's been on the front page over the last few months.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:32:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
entertaining.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:31:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:29:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:23:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I like in the picture how you can just barely see, off to the right edge, Inspector Gadget's go-go-gadget arm holding up a magnifying glass right around Penny's chest.
----------------------------
And thus a hymen of respectability is punctured in my mind.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:27:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
From the Brooklyn Bridge, Henderson is about an hour drive. Well, no matter. Perhaps there was some emergency, like your cat escaped and climbed into bed with your mother and sat on her chest while she masturbated. And you just had to get your cat back. Somehow.
-------
Oh wow.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:23:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I like in the picture how you can just barely see, off to the right edge, Inspector Gadget's go-go-gadget arm holding up a magnifying glass right around Penny's chest.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:21:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just because you blog you should get a special exception? Mildly amusing story.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:19:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Do you have an odometer in your car?"
"Yeah. So what?"
"You can use that to discover distance traveled."
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, it's about damn time.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:18:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:16:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile
http://www.pixwit.com/Boob_Bounce.gif
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:16:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:15:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have watched Inspector Gadget more as a child if Penny had looked like THAT.
Rule #1 of Craigslist: always ship, never meet in person.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:13:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm more concerned that you have that pic of Penny and that it looks like you drew it.
the Verizon Voyager is a better phone.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-02-08 10:11:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto obligotory annual Jared post +2