Ten Little Stories (I wanna play too) (1269 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.16 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by loki (View user info) at 2008-01-10 17:42:13 EST
1. My 40th birthday was Dec 29th. When I got in to work after New Years I discovered that my coworkers had completely vandalized my desk. There were banners hanging from the ceiling, more banners tacked up on the walls, and what appeared to be the contents of a weeks worth of paper from the shredder thrown all over the place. I may be the only person ever to turn 40 who is happy about it. This is because I have always looked young for my age. Most people think that is a good thing but it actually sucks because I never felt like I was getting the respect I should be. By that I mean I've had people younger than I am talk down to me because they thought they were older. Well NOW everyone at work knows exactly how old I am so that's cool.
2. Every now and then I decide that my life it too hectic and complicated so I go on a quest to simplify. I clean out closets and try to prioritize my activities. One thing I decided to do was concentrate on a few select activities and let everything else go. Since for a variety of reasons karate isn't working out right now I picked running & lifting weights. Then I started swimming laps at the Y. Then I bought a surf board. I also ski, snorkel, bike ride, hike, backpack, and white water raft. Hey at least I've resisted actually getting a kayak. I rent one when I want to go kayaking instead. This thing about simplifying my life just isn't working out.
3. I have a sister who is almost 8 years older than I am. We get along fine now but when we were kids we most definitely did not. Apparently being the baby of the family for 8 years and then finding yourself the middle child did not go over well. She used to beat me up all the time. Then I started taking karate and even though I was a lot smaller then she was it evened things up a little. One day when I was about 7 or 8 she did something to me I don't recall now what and as she was running away I threw a throwing star and nailed her in the back. She still has a scar. My dad took my throwing stars away. We found them in the attic a few months ago and he decided that I'm still probably not mature enough to have them back. (see #1 above)
4. I still take piano lessens even though (see #1) I am 40-years-old. The reason I can't quit taking lessons is that my piano teacher, Margaret is this really sweet little old lady who is sort of an extra grandmother type person and it would disappoint her if I stopped coming. Besides I would miss spending an hour with her every Thursday afternoon. Her daughter moved to Georgia a couple of years ago and from time to time she calls me to go check on things. I pretend that I left something at the house and pop over. I'm pretty sure that Margaret isn't fooled but she pretends she doesn't know what's really going on. At this point I'm actually a better pianist than I thought possible because truth be told she's a very good piano teacher.
5. There is a car that I see in the area from time to time with an "Autism Awareness" ribbon magnet on it. Yesterday I followed this car into the parking lot at the train station. The guy driving it got out and instead of walking to the sidewalk he tromped through the mud with this sort of odd stiff legged gait like he was falling forward but at the last minute he would jut out his leg to catch himself. He stopped for a second before crossing the street and stared at his shoes with a really confused look on his face like he didn't know how the mud got there. Then he walked across the street without bothering to look to see if any cars were coming. I think he was trying to make sure he beat me to the ticket machine because he practically ran to it and looked at me like "aha". I have a pass so I don't need a ticket which seemed to disappoint him. When the train got arrived there were plenty of empty seats but people were spread out like electrons. I guess he didn't want to sit beside anyone because instead of sitting down he turned around and stood beside the Plexiglas in front of the passenger section facing the door with his nose about 3 inches from the window where he stayed for the entire train ride. I sat there watching him thinking that although I know that Autism is a complicated disorder and no one knows what causes it, I can't say that I'm surprised somehow that this guy has an autistic kid. Unless the autism awareness magnet is about him, but if so then he wouldn't have looked at me triumphantly when he beat me to the ticket machine.
6. There is a guy at work that no one likes. He's a contractor so we keep thinking that eventually he's going to leave but he's been here for a year now and there is no sign of him going anywhere. The thing is, there is nothing that he's doing wrong that we can point to as why we don't like him except that he's just annoying. For example, last winter he found out that I had been skiing. He skis too so every single day he would stop by my desk to talk about skiing. Even when ski season was over and it was 90° outside he still wanted to talk about skiing. I think he just doesn't know how to relate to people. I avoided him for a while but then one of the managers told me that he has asked her what he was doing wrong because a couple of the people in the department don't seem to like him. That made me feel guilty so I've been taking one for the team and going out of my way to be friendly to him. Although it isn't physically painful, it does get a bit tying.
7. The guy from #6 once walked into the file room while I was working on the printer. It jams all the time and I have no idea why but I somehow seem to be the only one who either can or will fix it. When he walked in I had the surplus toner thing sitting on the table. He saw it and thought that it was the toner and decided to help me out by shaking it. I saw what he was going to do a split second before he did it but was powerless to do anything as he covered himself and half the copier room in a cloud of black toner dust.
8. The company I work for has an international division. I made an entry. I'll spare you the details but it was to scatter costs across the enterprise. I got an e-mail this is the subject line, "Diferença Resultado USD". Any guesses? The winner is Brazil. I actually figured out what they were asking. Part of it is that some of the words are close to Spanish, "Por favor, poderia nos ajudar em um problema?" I got please, question, help, and problem out of this. Some of the c's look funky but I got the general gist. We have a translation service but I've never used it and don't really know anything about it except that supposedly it is available for things like this. I answered it in English thinking that maybe the kids in Brazil would know how to send it to a translator if they couldn't read it. To my relief I got a response back in English, clearly a non native speaker, but definitely English. He apologized for not noticing where the e-mail was going and asked me how I knew what he was asking. I told him that I speak a little Spanish so I could figure it out but clearly his English is much better than my Portuguese. Later I hoped that hadn't insulted him. I don't know how people in Brazil feel about being told that their language is so close to Spanish, but once again everyone in the rest of the world speaks English and no one in America speaks their language.
8. I was at work on Monday late enough that I was still here when the cleaning crew arrived. The guy came to get my trash, saw me here, and said "hey look it's the birthday girl". I apologized for the mess (see #1) and told him that I tried to clean up as much of it as I could. I had most of the paper off the floor by Thursday night and they vacuumed the rest of it up for me. Friday I went on a rampage and reorganized, dusted, pitched a lot of crap, and in general made my little work space nice cozy and organized to an OCD level. I hated starting any work on Monday because it looked so nice. Anyway, he laughed it off and said that this type of thing happens. I said, "I bet you guys see all kinds of stuff". He laughed in kind of a demonic way and said "Oh we see everything and I do mean everything." Then he left. I have a feeling there are some stories there that he won't tell me that I would love to hear.
9. Sam sent an e-mail to Yosemite asking them if it were possible to book one night at each of the 5 high Sierra camps in sequence so we could do a loop through all of them. The camps are only open in July & Aug so you have to book them a long time in advance. He explained that this would be something for the summer of 2009 and that we would need them in order and on subsequent days or hiking it as a loop will not work. He got a FAQ form letter response from Dee Dee informing him that regretfully the camps are all booked for the summer of 2008 but that there may be some cancellations if he wanted to check back. He's annoyed because clearly she didn't read his e-mail. I don't get FAQ's really. Maybe I'm just weird but my Q just never seems to be FA. Does anyone really ask those questions or does someone sit there brainstorming things they know the answer to and then they make up the questions Jeopardy style?
10. I have a dentist appointment later this month. I'm not going. I've known I wasn't going since this fall when we got the details on the latest benefit plans and discovered that my dentist isn't on "the list" meaning that if I go to him my insurance will not cover it. Quite frankly I'm a little relieved because I never have liked this dentist. It's not really the care I got it was just that every time I was there they tried to sell me something; sonic toothbrush, sealants, mouth guard even though I don't grind my teeth, bleaching, and the latest one oral cancer screening that is not covered by my insurance and something I'm not in the risk group for. I haven't called because I know they are going to beat me up about it and I just don't want to deal.
11. I don't have an 11 but by rule all lists must go to 11. This is a picture of BooBoo illustrating why I shouldn't just throw my bag on the cedar chest when I get home from a weekend trip. I know you see the hat, I can feel you looking at the hat. Pretty sweet isn't it? Not just anyone can pull off a hat this fabulous. I can't wear it when I'm stoned though. I think people naturally assume that anyone wearing such a fine hat is friendly and approachable. Maybe they just think I'm retarded but at any rate, people seem to walk up and start talking to me when I'm wearing this hat. When I'm high it gives me the fear.
carry on
User Reviews
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-01-23 07:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-01-11 21:38:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-01-11 14:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I can explain. The funky c was screwing up my spell check so I did this in two files.
cries
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2008-01-11 10:36:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
loki=auto+2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-01-11 09:28:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2008-01-11 08:51:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We're not huge hiker types like yourselves. I need a warm shower and a lodge. Thus we're also annoying tourists, but not obnoxious.
If you haven't been you would love Iceland. It's a good mix of outdoors and European culture... and a closer flight than Yosemite. Glaciers, hot springs, and the coast is kind of Ireland like.
Good fun.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-01-11 08:08:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My Q's never seemed to fit FA's either.
:*(
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-11 07:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Way too late.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-01-10 23:43:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always enjoy your anecdotes.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-01-10 21:13:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're exactly 40 years older than my daughter.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-01-10 20:55:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 18:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i started piano lessons :-D
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Caul gives Loki a +2? The world will end soon.
No one else mentioned it, but there were TWO #8s. Heh.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-01-10 20:21:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We're going backpacking in Yosemite Valley this spring. We've never spent much time in the Valley because we go in through Lee Vining so by the time the pass is open the valley is already hot and full of annoying tourists.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-10 20:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a very similar hat, only it's gray, I like how it keeps my ears warm.
I also don't like the dentist, and missed my last appointment sorta/kinda on purpose.
Also, I need to bone up on my Spanish, because I decided tonight that we were going to Spain and Portugal this March for our vacation.
That is all.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-01-10 19:45:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is that where yogi bear lives?
faq bit was awesome.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-10 19:26:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2008-01-10 19:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We went to Yosemite last summer. It was awesome, except for all the other annoying tourists of course.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-10 19:04:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey BooBoo! Lets go get some pickanick baskETS!
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-01-10 18:55:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 18:44:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i started piano lessons :-D
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-10 18:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Belated birfday.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-01-10 18:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
happy birthday, Loki.
I recently got approval from my company to take an extended/unpaid leave of absence in spring/summer of 2009. If I'm able to do what I intend, it will make you jealous forever.. and I might be in the same region around that time.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2008-01-10 18:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh lord, stuck in Loki again
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-01-10 18:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My cat is a bag-sitter too. She also enjoys making love to my flip-flops.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-01-10 18:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
unbelievably boring
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-10 18:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I got all the way through the first sentence before I realized that this is shit.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:53:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:50:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you are more interesting than most of the rest of these people
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
typos make the baby jesus cry
and now I'm off to piano
true story I have to be there at 6