Voices of Überusers VI (Pillowpants is my homeboy) (1799 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1.04 on 69 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2008-01-10 13:41:21 EST
Yes...just like herpes, it's back.
For those of you unfamiliar with this series, please give me your hits and your time by following the, er, following links:
I: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89283
II: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89539
III: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89696
IV: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89807
V: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89986
Long story short - someone reads something, I post it, you guess, you win. What do you win? Nothing. This is Ubersite, not Let's Make a Deal. I guarantee Monty got more tail hosting that show than the lot of you combined. Which is nothing against you. Rather, he was just that badass.
This particular user read poetry, which I felt appropriate given how the afternoon's been going. Unlike your petty offerings, this is actually good poetry. No, it's not mine, but thank you for immediately thinking it was. It's by a Real Writer, and it's done for your entertainment.
This may or may not be a clue, but the user in question was either too lazy to convert, or incapable of converting, the file from mp4 to mp3. If some of you can't play this don't look at me. I'm just the host. Send all complaints, dirty bombs, hot old may-yo-NAZE, carp biscuits, urinal cakes or feces to the user named somewhere below.
Tulips.mp4 (3 MB) [video/mp4]
User Reviews
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-01-28 21:25:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-28 13:57:07 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
The eyes are really nice. Painted and sultry like Egyptian hieroglyphics tattooed on a woman's back. Too bad it looks like there's a haybale/spider plant/gigantic oom-pa-pa German dude's mustache sitting on your head.
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-01-26 15:45:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey O-Man! You gonna run Ubertines 08??
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-17 12:38:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114397#2627757
Simple and correct.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-14 17:40:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-11 17:31:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-11 14:15:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW. Katy doesnt sound anything like the way she sounds in my fantasies.
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You should let her know, see if maybe she'll make you a custom file.
What did you expect Noonie to sound like, anyway?
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Well, seeing as she is in the 'biz, my mind's ear suggests that she would really know how to put on a show. That really high pitched, "oh god, Oh GOD, OH GOD" mixed in with the through the clenched-teeth hiss of FUCK ME FUCK ME OH YEAH!
Something like that.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-01-14 09:21:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
People's voices sound different when they are reading. They usually sound more polished. I'd like to hear recordings of people drunk off their ass in a roomful of close friends. Or maybe just the latter. Then we'd know what they REALLY sound like.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-01-14 09:20:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:14:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if anything college teaches you is that you don't know shit.
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True. Very true. Kind of depressing, actually.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-11 17:31:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-11 14:15:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW. Katy doesnt sound anything like the way she sounds in my fantasies.
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You should let her know, see if maybe she'll make you a custom file.
What did you expect Noonie to sound like, anyway?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-01-11 15:57:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can definitely see Noonie reciting this.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-11 14:15:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW. Katy doesnt sound anything like the way she sounds in my fantasies.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-11 13:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I was expecting more Joisey out of this one.
She must have made a great effort to downplay it.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-01-11 02:39:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2008-01-11 01:58:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kereineko (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:56:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
booooo! You whore.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:49:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kereineko (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I... I... I'm bored now. Nothing is keeping me entertained now. Why is uber so slow today?
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Because most of us are in the cloaked ubersite, access by invitation only.
Submitted by kereineko (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I... I... I'm bored now. Nothing is keeping me entertained now. Why is uber so slow today?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:34:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lemon party in process, below
===
http://www.tinyurl.com/cob77
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lemon party in process, below
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:31:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this post is today's irc chat room
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul's gonna get so worked up and angry he'll have to go the gym to work out the stress and then he'll sit in the sauna and be terribly, TERRIBLY upset by the constant traffic of exposed male genitalia... just like he does every night.
What?
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glad you admit you read my posts. i'm flattered.
actually, i haven't work out in a while so imo go home and jerk off on my gf's face, then go to sleep.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:24:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you kidding me? You spin the shit like a log-roller on a giant turd and backpeddle more than these guys http://www.recordholders.org/en/records/backwards-cycling.html.
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what you usually called spin is called things like details and facts.
concepts foreign to you except when it comes to cat genetalia.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul's gonna get so worked up and angry he'll have to go the gym to work out the stress and then he'll sit in the sauna and be terribly, TERRIBLY upset by the constant traffic of exposed male genitalia... just like he does every night.
What?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
rate this: http://www2.ubersite.com/m/114218 to win a 1000$
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:24:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:14:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
if anything college teaches you is that you don't know shit. the problem with backward shitheads like yourselves is that you think you've got it all figured out and you'll invent "facts" to fit your twisted reality.
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Are you kidding me? You spin the shit like a log-roller on a giant turd and backpeddle more than these guys http://www.recordholders.org/en/records/backwards-cycling.html.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:23:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i wonder what made jack become a cat fetishist.
was it triggered when your deadbeat dad had his cock into your mouth and made you believe he did it to serve his country?
or when your wife left you for someone not redhaired and you needed a presence into your life to avoid prostitution?
or because you need something to obess about to forget your dick gets hard and your anus moistens hanging around all those pretty boyz in san francisco?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:20:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SAUSAGE FEST BELOW
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Get some chicks in here, pronto. We need a Box Social to balance out this pole party.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:01:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It is odd, since the asscrack that is usually the center of any uber discussion is you.
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OMFG! WHAT A PWNIST!
you should stop hanging around with cats, your insults are pretty harmless.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:18:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA Yozz, not you dear.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:14:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:56:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually the reason I don't link most of the stuff I don't make up my angry little Frenchman is that I've read it in actual books instead of getting information from dubious online sources like wiki or having it spoon-fed to me from teachers with questionable objectives like teachers in Quebec who try to get you to believe the French are great, the French are great, the French are great are great are great, the French the French the French the French are greaaaaaaaaat... and usually succeed.
===
lol, sure...i remember when you didn't even know what productivity really meant and try to sound like an expert economist. that's just an example out of hundred. i'm sure you read that in a novel somewhere.
if anything college teaches you is that you don't know shit. the problem with backward shitheads like yourselves is that you think you've got it all figured out and you'll invent "facts" to fit your twisted reality.
the french are almost never mentionned in our education. if you meant french-canadians, well, my education was mainly technical. except for that cunt activist who was the grand-daugther of the author of le refus global manifesto. i wrote two different essays, one mostly neutral for me and one filled with pro-separatist propaganda for a lazy pothead and she failed me while he had a perfect score :-D
anyway, look, i'm not trying to imply i'm brilliant or something. i'm just saying you're a fucking retard compared to most people. <- nuance.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:07:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excuse me?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SAUSAGE FEST BELOW
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:06:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is getting good........................................
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 17:01:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It is odd, since the asscrack that is usually the center of any uber discussion is you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:57:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, look...It's the 3 HomoStooges arguing about asscracks!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:56:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually the reason I don't link most of the stuff I don't make up my angry little Frenchman is that I've read it in actual books instead of getting information from dubious online sources like wiki or having it spoon-fed to me from teachers with questionable objectives like teachers in Quebec who try to get you to believe the French are great, the French are great, the French are great are great are great, the French the French the French the French are greaaaaaaaaat... and usually succeed.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:51:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:11:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, you ass spackeling, cock pummeler...I just naired my asshole last night and farting is a whole new ball game for me.
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farting does sound different afterward, does it not?
people can laugh but a smooth ass crack is worth gold...especially if you walk/jog a lot.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who could ever forget that day? Everyone but you, apparently. But then you have the advantage of Inspector Laflamme's ratty notebook containing the ever-expanding McCallum file.
I wish I had gone to college though. Then I'd have the intelligence to back up all my online claims with wikipedia links like you do.
===
what a great comeback.
people (except bob) link wikipedia to elaborate/confirm/prove what they already know, otherwise they would spend all day searching the web (like bob does) without at least minimal knowledge to start from.
reading is better than making shit up like you do on a constant basis, jack. you should try it. that way you'd sound less like an idiot, and as a bonus, you might be too busy to be and awful writer.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, and you'll keep on Nairing your own ass. I've seen your ass. And I've seen your unanswered Craigslist ads offering cash to 'students needing extra $$$' to Nair your asshole for you. Good luck with those. What's the hourly rate up to now, $300 or so?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:11:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I take that back. You feed directly out of the litter box on cat krispies.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:11:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, you ass spackeling, cock pummeler...I just naired my asshole last night and farting is a whole new ball game for me. The hair that just rubbed out of my asshole was silky, smooth, and what I'm going to put in your peanut butter and jelly sandwich, you fucking hippy scum.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:09:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sico's idea of a fight is to show you pictures of his dick until you bend over and puke, at which point he caves in the back of your head with a brick. I'd rather get my nuts kicked and my eyes clawed in a clean dirty fight than go through that.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:06:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Can someone fucking brief me next time my name's used. And fuck off, brief me next time I'm in a fight with someone so I can fucking know.
Orgasmatron, you wanna fight, happy meal?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:14:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:04:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess the hs diploma I have stashed away somewhere is a forgery then.
*Inspector Laflamme furiously scribbles JACK M - GRADUATED HS in the ratty notebook that is his ever-expanding McCallum file*
===
i know you have a hs diploma.
who could ever forgot the day when you were lecturing people on some political topic and revealed, with pride: "I never went to college, i went to hs and that's it" a single sentence which explained why you're so godamn clueless and stupid.
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Who could ever forget that day? Everyone but you, apparently. But then you have the advantage of Inspector Laflamme's ratty notebook containing the ever-expanding McCallum file.
I wish I had gone to college though. Then I'd have the intelligence to back up all my online claims with wikipedia links like you do.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-01-10 16:04:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is it me?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-10 15:31:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
♣♦• ♠♣╬═╠╦ ╚╟ ╞┼─ ├┬┴└ ┐╛╜╝╗║ ╣╕╖ ╢╡┤│▓ ▒░»« ¡¼½ ¬û!¿ºªÑñ óíá ÿ ƒ₧¥ ¢Ü
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-10 15:10:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
inion_de_trua
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-10 15:07:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:59:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BadAssJulie?
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I miss that kid.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-10 15:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have gas.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:59:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BadAssJulie?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:57:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've missed this series.
And I'm going to guess Leonore.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:29:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY HAVE A GUESS?
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Nyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyope.
Just some anglais in-fighting and Woody going through the motions for the millionth time like he's practicing some sort of predictable old balls tai chi routine.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:38:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
uber is boring today.
This post is doing nothing to help that.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:29:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY HAVE A GUESS?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:15:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:14:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:04:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess the hs diploma I have stashed away somewhere is a forgery then.
*Inspector Laflamme furiously scribbles JACK M - GRADUATED HS in the ratty notebook that is his ever-expanding McCallum file*
===
i know you have a hs diploma.
who could ever forgot the day when you were lecturing people on some political topic and revealed, with pride: "I never went to college, i went to hs and that's it" a single sentence which explained why you're so godamn clueless and stupid.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:10:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey AsshOly,
Been meaning to ask you - how do you pronounce your user name?
(In my head its: Ass - HOE - LEE.)
Is that right?
Whats with the capital O?
My does my taint cramp when I sneeze?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
uber is boring today.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:05:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hawt.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 14:04:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess the hs diploma I have stashed away somewhere is a forgery then.
*Inspector Laflamme furiously scribbles JACK M - GRADUATED HS in the ratty notebook that is his ever-expanding McCallum file*
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:57:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't play mp4's in Quebec? Odd.
v
v
v
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here as in "at work", you cat adopting high school dropout.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't play mp4's in Quebec? Odd.
v
v
v
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:54:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
someone please tell scourge I am not talking to him anymore
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:54:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
whenever i go on uber, scourge, sico and bamf have an argument.
you guys should totally fuck.
p.s. can i join?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:52:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mp4 doesn't work here
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:49:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle
mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle
mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle
mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle
========
you're beginning to look pathetic man, show some dignity
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yeah yeah...go jerk off to thoughts of my wife some more, mr. home depot kitchen department manager. i know how that helps to relieve some of the pain of living your below average existence.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty voice.
I have a guess but imma keep it to myself for now.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:47:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You win an authentic, vintage, one-of-a-kind replica of the large soda cup with a hole in it that sprays "cola" all over Farva in the 1906 theatrical classic Super Troopers. This was the first movie ever made, and features a cameo of a young Jack Lemmon playing the role of one of the cop cars.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle
mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle
mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle
mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle mudwhistle
========
you're beginning to look pathetic man, show some dignity
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
when you get bart to delete every review calling me a bearfucker, and to ban maudwhistle, the red sox post will go up immediately.
otherwise, it just goes up when i get around to finishing it.
i didn't even listen to that, but i'll guess it was habeeb. what do i win?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-01-10 13:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
scourge still owes me a Red Sox tribute post.