Bear Facts (370 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.75 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Eugene_Luther (View user info) at 2008-01-09 08:35:49 EST
"Don't you bark orders at me," countered Egburt. "I'm fed up with always getting letterbox duty, just cos' I'm small. Where's Franklin, anyway?"
"For goodness sake, stop this bickering," said Danni, "and let's go and see what's in the kitchen."
They dashed out of the lounge and down the hall to the kitchen, intent on getting to the honey, when they heard a loud thud, quickly followed by a high-pitched squeal and sounds not unlike whale song. Hector in his usual air-head way had forgotten about the handle that their BFG had thoughtfully attached to the bottom of the fridge door and had simply hurled himself at it so it would swing open just like he used to do.
Unfortunately, his paws being still wet from all his crying, he had slipped on take-off and ended up flying head first into the fridge door. Now, not only were his eyes full of tears, but his little button nose was bleeding as well.
"What a state," spluttered Chadwick, hardly able to contain his laughter.
Hector just sat there dazed and looking as though he had the worries of every hug in the world resting on his shoulders.
As the leading bears skidded to a stop and looked on in amazement, the bears at the rear piled into them, which resulted in a mass of writhing fur on the kitchen floor, with assorted bits of bear anatomy appearing and disappearing as they attempted to untangle themselves.
"Yow!! Get off me, you ... you ... blithering, bumbling bunch of nincompoops, you," yelled Danni as she struggled to extricate herself, desperately trying to retain what little dignity was left to her. "Don't any of you ever look where you're going? Now, who's on lookout? Egburt?"
"No, it's Franklin," said Theo, making Danni jump, as his voice had drifted up from somewhere in the pile of bears beneath her. "By the way," Theo continued, "if it's not too much trouble, do you think you could ... you know ... if you don't mind, of course ... and in your own time ... you know ... when you're ready ... could you please move so that the rest of us can get up?"
At this point, Theo asked Chadwick how he had managed to avoid becoming ensnared in the unsightly pile-up.
"By using my brain," said Chadwick smugly.
"That presupposes he has one," whispered Theo to Huggy.
"Quite right," whispered back Huggy. "How can he use what he hasn't got?"
"Now!" said Chadwick. "Where's that honey?"
There was an incredulous gasp from everyone. Where was their honey? Surely the two pots in the fridge couldn't be all there was! They couldn't believe their BFG would go away for the hug knows how many pots and not leave enough honey to sustain them throughout this ordeal.
Maybe he hadn't actually gone. He'd just popped out to get more honey and was taking the suitcase to carry it in. This idea cheered Hector up no end but the others, even though they really, really wanted it to be true, somehow they knew that it wasn't.
They were so shocked by this unforeseen event that they seemed incapable of doing anything except mill around aimlessly, praying to the Cosmic Hug that this was all just a nightmare and that they'd all wake up in a minute.
But of course, it wasn't so they wouldn't.
Hector, meanwhile, who was not thinking of anything much except what he could do to cheer himself up, without further ado dived headlong into the fridge. He went straight for the honey pot and in he went. Ears - eyes - cheeks - nose - mouth. In fact, it's fair to say that he only stopped when no more of him would fit in the jar. The others could only look on, mesmerised, as Hector's head slowly became honey-pot shaped. As they waited for what seemed to be a very long time for him to come up for air, it gradually dawned on them that he couldn't. He was stuck,
"This really is too much," said Danni exasperatedly. "Quick, Eugenie, get him out of there before he suffocates." Eugenie tugged as hard as she could but only succeeded in pulling Hector, plus jar, over.
"Typical!", said Danni. "If you want something done right, do it yourself."
"Danni!. The bear with attitude," sniffed Chadwick under his breath.
"Did you say something, Chadwick?" asked Danni.
Not waiting to hear the reply, Danni started pulling on Hector, with the result that all three of them - Danni, Eugenie and Hector, plus honey pot, tumbled off the fridge shelf to land in a heap on the floor. Danni first, propelled by a very sticky Hector, who popped out of the jar like a cork out of a bottle. Then a stream of honey closely followed by honey pot and finally, Eugenie who had the misfortune to land face down on top of it all.
"OBBIDOSH!!!" shouted Danni. "Just look at the mess you've made."
Privately they all thought that it was her fault anyway, but not one of them would dare say it to her face.
"LOOK AT ME!!" she shrieked. "I'M SMOTHERED IN IT!"
"I know," mumbled Bertram as he licked wildly at her fur. This was the only situation that could've made him do such a thing but after all, honey was honey and he was not going to let the fact that the honey in question was all over Danni stop him from getting his share.
"Stop that," said Danni sharply. "Just stop that and go get the seals to run a bath."
"Not so fast," said Huggy, who had joined Bertram in licking. "With only two pots left there's not much to go around so I'm not having you waste any of it."
Sally and Norman, the two seals, turned up. "Did someone call for us?"
User Reviews
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-01-09 11:22:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
They have furry forums for this type of thing.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-01-09 11:17:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think you need to post more. And keep those retal-2's coming, k?
thxbye.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-01-09 11:11:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-01-09 10:50:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by EkO (user info) at 2008-01-09 09:01:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Is this a joke?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-09 08:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is this shit?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-09 08:39:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice retal, faggot.
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-01-09 08:39:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-09 08:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EkO (user info) at 2008-01-09 09:01:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Is this a joke?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-01-09 08:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is this shit?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-09 08:39:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice retal, faggot.
Submitted by dithered (user info) at 2008-01-09 08:39:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-09 08:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment