I Learned An Incredibly Important Lesson In Physiology Last Night. (1362 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.02 on 77 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by phuzzygish (View user info) at 2007-11-20 07:32:34 EST
I have learned, and will remember for the rest of my life, one particularly crucial lesson:
It doesn't matter how 'fun', 'interesting', 'exciting', or 'erotic' you think it may be.
It doesn't matter how much of a 'new spin' it could put on your bedroom activities and the fun sweaty stuff you do with your Significant Other.
The fact of the matter is, putting Veet on your private parts burns the everloving buckfuggering Jeebus out of your marble bag.
I'm still walking funny.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2007-11-21 04:01:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dude... dude... DUDE... i feel for you man, i really do. but, for god sakes what did you think was gonna happen?
I spend most of my day on high alert keeping threats to my hardware AWAY from me. ZIPPERS, LAWN DARTS, SMALL DOGS THAT CAN JUMP WAIST HIGH... these things scare me.
When I trim, I use the buzzer of an electric razor with this safety-plastic-thing. No WAX, no SCISSORS, no RAZORS. Nothing sharp, nothing that can hurt.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-11-20 23:57:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
also dont try that "tweezy" thing its like an electric razor that uses a rotating drum to pluck hair from the face and eybrows and legs and stuff. made my nipple bleed.
i still think the hair on the knuckle on the big toe is the most painful to remove.
just shave the shaft and trim the rest
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-11-20 22:44:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2007-11-20 16:03:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Suckering people to apply Icy Hot after a groin pull is hilarious.
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It's even funnier if they don't have a groin pull...and they aren't expecting it.
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-20 17:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Punishment for Yozz.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-11-20 17:22:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dick
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v
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-20 17:05:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-20 16:41:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by idodeklair (user info) at 2007-11-20 16:39:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2007-11-20 16:03:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Suckering people to apply Icy Hot after a groin pull is hilarious.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-11-20 15:36:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Take it like a man, you pussy. I sandblast the hair off my balls.
Submitted by BuSt3r (user info) at 2007-11-20 13:17:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
WHY in the hell would you put a cream that burns hair off, on your nutsack???? Your experience written above may serve to educate others, but seriously? what the hell!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-11-20 12:59:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I shave my epididimus.
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2007-11-20 12:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What do you reccomend for hair removal in the sensitive areas? I like to look my best...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-20 11:51:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That was her???
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-20 11:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-11-20 11:38:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It would help if I didn't have to google "veet" to find out what the fuck you are talking about. As is, -2. Real men use Nair.
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No. We real men use fire.
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NO.
Actually, WE REAL men just cut off the skin that grows hair.
Submitted by OscarZAcosta (user info) at 2007-11-20 11:42:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey man im sure your cherries are ok! Why dont you let Methods mum suck them, damn thats right she's tonguing shlongys ass, my bad bro.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2007-11-20 11:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's difficult to shave the coin purse. My lady nags me if I miss a spot but then I just shove her face back down <3
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-11-20 11:38:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It would help if I didn't have to google "veet" to find out what the fuck you are talking about. As is, -2. Real men use Nair.
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No. We real men use fire.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-20 11:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-20 07:31:26 CST (#)
Ranking: 1
I just think unhairy balls and stuff if damn unattractive.
Bald is fine on the ladies.
Men look better trimmed.
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Agreed.
Wait, what?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:43:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Tonight pour some hot sauce in your manhole.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:36:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:28:03 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have the chest of Burt Reynolds and the bits of a wombat.
i don't think I want to understand this statement.
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See http://www.ubersite.com/m/111698#2524261 and http://www.ubersite.com/m/111698#2524486
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
LOL
Dipilatories use a chemical to BURN the hair off.
You will probably start peeling in a few days.
(speaks from experience) My sack was so fried from my attempt at this about a decade ago it felt externally like I had coated it in a plastic grocery bag.
sucked
I understand your pain.
and probably shared a little much too.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It would help if I didn't have to google "veet" to find out what the fuck you are talking about. As is, -2. Real men use Nair.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have the chest of Burt Reynolds and the bits of a wombat.
i don't think I want to understand this statement.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:09:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tis Drogo.
Thank you for not singing the song.
I think I'm going to Lapland for Christmas, so it will break up the mind numbing pain of this God forsaken place.
We might get snow though here soon!!! I haven't seen snow in ages, sadly there is only one hill in a 50 mile radius. I will be there with my sledge barging the other kids out the way.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have the chest of Burt Reynolds and the bits of a wombat.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-20 07:31:26 CST (#)
Ranking: 1
I just think unhairy balls and stuff if damn unattractive.
Bald is fine on the ladies.
Men look better trimmed.
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Agreed.
Wait, what?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks Em!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-20 10:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I agreed to marry him.
I have also been promised I only have to stay in Norfolk until the spring, then I can choose a destination and we sail for it. Sounds a bit better.
For now though, I dream of sunny skies and open water, instead of the water that is openly running down the front wall of my supposedly NEWLY BUILT house.
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Nice one Little M! Congratulations. No I'm not sigining that song as its kind of Ghey!
Ahh the open water and a newly built house, fresh air, sand beneath the feet and sun beating down.
Sounds a bit like bliss to me Little M. All good!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:58:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
CONGRATULATIONS LITTLE M!
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:56:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I know that NOW.
Won't amke that mistake again.
Also:
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a virgin
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He's saving himself for the right man.
Snicker. Giggle. Fart.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Little M:- I dont seem to understand something you typed. It looked very much like you said that you went from Spain (nice sunny place, good food, reasonable climate, cheap alchobol) and moved to Norfolk. That seems all so wrong to me.
I still reside in sunny Devon. And I saw the sun 2 days ago so all is well.
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That's exactly what I did Drogo. I am a McMoron. There is only one thing that would be able to drag me back from Spain once I got my toes in the sand and my nose in a large glass of wine. That was of course a man. I will never forgive him for bringing me to Norfolk (he was supposed to be coming out to Spain). He did however present me with a large sparkly ring last night to make up for it, and it would appear somewhere amoungst the champagne last night I agreed to marry him.
I have also been promised I only have to stay in Norfolk until the spring, then I can choose a destination and we sail for it. Sounds a bit better.
For now though, I dream of sunny skies and open water, instead of the water that is openly running down the front wall of my supposedly NEWLY BUILT house.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck dude, just give it a buzz with the clippers. As long as she's not picking hair out of her teeth, she'll be happy.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:48:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehehe how i chuckled like an ape with more bananas than friends.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:45:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know COXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!
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Asshole!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know COXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:42:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:41:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You do tease me Drogo!
I reckon Drogo and I could be the next great book writing duo, I have the stories and he has the ability to relay them to my baying public.
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I sent you an email my little baldy balled friend.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:41:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You do tease me Drogo!
I reckon Drogo and I could be the next great book writing duo, I have the stories and he has the ability to relay them to my baying public.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Little M:- I dont seem to understand something you typed. It looked very much like you said that you went from Spain (nice sunny place, good food, reasonable climate, cheap alchobol) and moved to Norfolk. That seems all so wrong to me.
I still reside in sunny Devon. And I saw the sun 2 days ago so all is well.
Orphelia likes me Hairy YAY!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:36:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:32:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Drogo , whenever I email you, you never reply.
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Oh yeah thats because I gave you an email address that I check once in a blue moon, and it hasnt been blue for a while. Wait one and I will send you my normal one.
:-) Big Smile
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:36:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the sound of a Drogo/Em co post.
All in favour say "aye"!
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:34:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey there Drogo, can't say I've spotted you much either recently.
Monster's back in town! Well...I've been let out my cell for an hour or so to talk to people who don't breath through thier mouths at the same time as trying to eat.
I hate Norfolk.
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Norfolk???
Em. You send me something I will write something lovely for you if you like :-)
___
Aye, Norfolk.
Moved from Salcombe to Torquay, then to Spain and now Norfolk. It is a miserable place with a lot of sky. Well, if you are allowed to see the sky, there is a lot of it.
Where are you these days? Did you make it out of Pasty land?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:32:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Drogo , whenever I email you, you never reply.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:32:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey there Drogo, can't say I've spotted you much either recently.
Monster's back in town! Well...I've been let out my cell for an hour or so to talk to people who don't breath through thier mouths at the same time as trying to eat.
I hate Norfolk.
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Norfolk???
Em. You send me something I will write something lovely for you if you like :-)
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:30:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
When will we ever learn to stop altering our nether regions for aesthetic purposes?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:29:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drogo would you like to be my co Autor, by Co Author I mean I give yo the basics, you turn it into a post and I post it.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey there Drogo, can't say I've spotted you much either recently.
Monster's back in town! Well...I've been let out my cell for an hour or so to talk to people who don't breath through thier mouths at the same time as trying to eat.
I hate Norfolk.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm a virgin
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:25:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ahahahaha.
it does say do not put on genital or perianal areas on the bottle you know.
shave or just trim with some clippers. carefully.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:22:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The thing that hurt the most was when I was recieving a hand job off a lady at uni and she tore my foreskin with her nail, that smarted a little.
I ran off screaming like a banshee into her en suite.
I could make a whole post out of my stories.
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It seems such a shame that you dont Em.
Little monster sighting wow!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The thing that hurt the most was when I was recieving a hand job off a lady at uni and she tore my foreskin with her nail, that smarted a little.
I ran off screaming like a banshee into her en suite.
I could make a whole post out of my stories.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:18:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Let it grow wild Em, then trim it.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks E. We will all sleep easier tonight.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The question is thus:
Is it worse than deep heat? If it is, you deserve a medal and some therapy for your troubles.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:17:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I shave my bits.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:17:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oooh Drogo i like a hairy man.
You and me is back on :)
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:16:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My grimance of pain for you was one of such poetic wince, that the lady from behind the desk actually came over to ask if I was ok.
Ouch my friend.....just ouch.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:15:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm terrified to ask what eventually went in to your dick after years of non-entry...
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I was thinking that too, but thought that maybe I had read it wrong.
Also I have never felt the need to wax my bits, and now I can justify why I dont do it too thank you.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-20 09:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm terrified to ask what eventually went in to your dick after years of non-entry...
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:46:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I once got something in my dickhole. I don't remember what it was, but it wasn't something I put there on purpose. And it burned like getting pool water up there (which is terrible, if you've never experienced it). Nothing went in my dick for years after that.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
EI - That's amazing. Who'da thunk it? I wouldnae.
Yams - I'm just thankful to everything good and pure I didn't get any in the Japs eye...
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot to give you a sympathy +2. But I hear chicks dig burned dick.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:41:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok but shhhhhhhh
The reuse of a building in the countryside will be permitted where - it is a residential conversion subordinate to a business reuse, or for an agricultural or forestry worker
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:40:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes please.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:39:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey phuzzy you want some top secret info??
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:37:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I looks like a plucked chicken, ready for cooking.
Extra burny on the side.
:(
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
See, when I saw it I thought you meant you learned a lesson in a class entitled "Physiology," but really you mean you just learned a lesson in physiology. It's more of a lesson in chemistry, but if you look hard enough most things are. I learned the lesson rather on accident one night after applying IcyHot to my arms or legs or some shit, then a few minutes later copping a feel on myself. I tell you what, water does nothing to help that situation. Oh the pain...the pain.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I just think unhairy balls and stuff if damn unattractive.
Bald is fine on the ladies.
Men look better trimmed.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sympathy +2. When it comes to depilatory, 'Sensitive formula' only means your skin will suffer SECOND degree burns instead of third. NEVER DOWN THERE. I've felt your pain, dear :(
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:20:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ShimishSmortion (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:16:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What's veet?
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The vive-ended vlat thing on the end of your leg.
Duh.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:20:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-20 13:15:13 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to do lines of blow off of Mrs. Shlongy's vag.
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I use to try that with mrs Shlongy too.
Till she fanny farted and blew the lot over my throw rug
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I tried that once. Tried to do one from top to bottom n the left-hand lip, but ran out of coke.
No wonder she's so quiet when she pees, her lips are under water. :(
Submitted by ShimishSmortion (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:16:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What's veet?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-20 08:15:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to do lines of blow off of Mrs. Shlongy's vag.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-11-20 07:42:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my cousin spanked with eucalyptis balm once. he went to the hospital with a "rash" then his whole school found out somehow
family gatherings are always amusing
im suprised he didnt end up mass murdering
my brother in law put bengay in my socks one april 1st when i was like 14 and i went to school
it sucked but i doubt as badly
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-11-20 07:34:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I put some icy hot on my inner thighs 6 years ago and I still feel the burn.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-20 07:33:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oooh ... maca-ma-damia nuts.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart's Dog Gets an F