Orgasmashazzar, King of the Dream Interpretation Kiosk (2177 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.35 on 136 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2007-11-09 13:09:40 EST
Traffic sucks. Let's just all agree on that to start, ok? It's ever present, it's frustrating, and it results in a lot of wasted time. Morning radio can only satisfy for so long, and sometimes I'm just not in the mood to listen to the Same Twelve CDs That I've Been Meaning to Take Out of My Car and Replace With Twelve New CDs That Will Make My In-Car Time More Enjoyable But I Don't Because I'm a Total Dipass and Now I Don't Even Know Where or How to End This Sentence Beacause I'm Rambling Oh Well.
I don't need to apply makeup in the car and the idea of shaving at the wheel is as preposterous as cutting off my third dick. So to make the most of the time I have as a 45 minute prisoner I listen to audio books on my iPod. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, some Stephen King short stories. If you want to read it I'll probably listen to it. It beats having to hold a magazine or flip through pages of an actual book, and there's something oddly satisfying about some disembodied man or woman speaking into your ears. I wonder if that's what the prophets felt like back in the day. I also wonder if by doing this I'm partly immersing myself in The Homeless Experience.
Though, come to think, most homeless speak to themselves all day long.
Well, and pigeons.
Did I ever mention how I watched a homeless guy run after a man in a suit and whap him about the face and neck with a rolled up newspaper? He had this potbelly - the homeless, not the suit - and his t-shirt was barely covering half of it. Basically it looked like a pregnant woman going ape on some man that did her wrong. Only she smelled like urine and dead cats and didn't have any hair.
When I said homeless guy what color did you think his skin was?
Just curious.
Anyway, so I was listening to the Book of Daniel on my way home last night. I dig the prophets. See what I did there? BECAUSE I REFERENCED THEM EARLIER IN THE POST. Sigh. It's not an entirely accurate claim, however, as Daniel's not counted as one of the prophets; but whatever, I'm just sharing that. I blame the almost-hour I spent in the car listening about dreams for what happened later that night, which was: http://www.ubersite.com/m/113054#2577203 I've been mulling it over, and I am on the cusp of interpreting it. I'm sure you're all very excited.
Working on figuring out that dream got me thinking. I am no mystic. I am no astrologer. But I AM a capable, hetero, disease-free male who is presently beseiged by the Babylonian captors of my company. As such, I am offering my services as your Daniel, Uber. You have sought answers before from Average Dan, the Answer Man. But those were merely questions of the earth. Questions concerning the day to day. I know you are vexed by the shadows in your mind's eye, and I am here to tell you that the truth is out there.
So come, lay your nightmares and quizzical sleep-thoughts at my table.
Let's be real - what else are you doing on a Friday afternoon?
Clearly not that much if you made it this far.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-14 11:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-14 11:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No, I will not be your ghost writer.
NOR WILL I KISS YOU.
I'm not even writing for myself anymore. Back of the bus, Simon. Back of the bus.
Good day sir.
-----------------------------
Now many Commonwealth types will be reading Orgasmatron's comment about 'back of the bus' and have no clue as to what he's on about. Basically Orgasmatron just called Sicosemen a nigger in a most classy and stylish way.
Lets wait and see what Sicosemen will do next.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-14 11:15:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
*waits for someone to add the follow-up line*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-14 11:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No, I will not be your ghost writer.
NOR WILL I KISS YOU.
I'm not even writing for myself anymore. Back of the bus, Simon. Back of the bus.
Good day sir.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-14 10:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Be a dear and check your email.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-12 19:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey yeah, it WAS Crystle!
Hey you should post something, lady.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-11-12 18:47:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
me?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:53:07 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
What did I miss?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-12 09:14:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It will one day, beer-turtle.
It will one day.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-11-10 15:26:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I went to www.hobotimes.com I was very upset that it did not exist.
Damn you Orgy
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-11-10 15:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 18:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's how I interepet things after half a bottle of wine and scrolling past reviews at warped speed.
A) To answer your question, depending on the day, I'm either a lilac, a hyacinth, or a gardenia. NEVER A ROSE.
TTOM called me a corpse, possibly with a penis, Shlongy The Gentleman has offered to go to town with (on) me- LEARN FROM HIM, scourge entertained me as always, and some no-name, possibly UOM, who is obviously an alter who cares is trying to prove he is neither a)an alter or b) cares, while accusing you of hitwhoring while he garners hits for you, and admitting he is intent on lowering your rating which is the gheyest thing I've heard today. Also, AHUMBLEFOOL SIGHTING.
Makes me miss the old days and almost wish i didn't take half a day and enjoy a wonderful Indian meal.
Almost.
What did I miss?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-09 18:49:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm actually a prophet myself, but thanks for the offer.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-11-09 17:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 17:25:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
But back to you. I think this has something to do with how you feel about your age. You are capable, and experienced, but you do not trust your shell to carry you as dominantly as it once did when you were young. Maybe you don't have a going problem, maybe you have a GROWING problem.
Have you considered Avodart?
**********
"Too young to retire, too old to hire."
P.S. no whizzing problems here, sport.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 17:25:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It means that you feel powerful, yet wholly unable to act on your own. Your fists do not actively seek him out, but rather he foolishly runs into them over and again until he is brought low.
I recall hearing a news story this week about a guy who tried to take his life in prison by running into the wall over and over and over. He eventually just settled on trying to hit his head against the wall, and only succeeded in giving himself a headache and some nasty cuts and scrapes. I don't recall why he was in jail or exactly why he wanted to take his life, so basically I'm a total idiot. But this guy should have enough wherewithall to find a better way of offing hisself in the big house.
But back to you. I think this has something to do with how you feel about your age. You are capable, and experienced, but you do not trust your shell to carry you as dominantly as it once did when you were young. Maybe you don't have a going problem, maybe you have a GROWING problem.
Have you considered Avodart?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-11-09 17:09:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What I think is that the magnitude of positive ratings and insipid responses you've gotten to this post thus far makes me wish there was some way to send a massive electrical pulse straight to your computer and end you where you sit.
Specific enough, shitbag?
*********
I HAD A DREAM!! I Dreamed shitbag_or_odor walked into my fist 38 times,
and, in the immortal words of Shlongy, 'his teeth went down his throat'.
What does it mean O wonderous O-man?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:53:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:16:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wait wait...do the one where you talk about how much more money you have than i do
i love that one
So do I! ROFLCOPTER@#!@#!@%^(*)&*(#@$!@#@#
But that's not really funny for YOU..only for me.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:24:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:21:13 CST (#)
Ranking: 0
And Captain Thorns as the Beaver.
---------------------
Hahahahahahahahahaha...that's me, cultural icon of the '50s, all right.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Arbitrary +2, I'm in a warmfuzzy mood.
I pictured his skin colour as "dirty". So hard to tell, but I think he was white. An old geezer.
I hate the way they sound. They can never get the voices right, or pronounce the names the way I want them to, or... well, do anything, really. But I approve of the concept audiobooks.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:21:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And Captain Thorns as the Beaver.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:20:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is ponderous man. Really ponderous.
I had this dream the other night
I went to work, but nobody remembered who I was, so
I decided to take the day off
On my way out, I ran into my boss
He said, Hey, you look familiar.
I said Thanks, people say that alot in these dreams
And then the horns kicked in
And my shoes started to squeak
Then all of the sudden, I find myself on some faraway tropical beach
And there's this sign there that says
Aren't you supposed to be at work?
Sort of screamed out at me
Then I remembered. I'd been here before in other dreams.
Usually there was a water polo game
And a girl who could talk with her eyes.
And she'd say, "Can you see what I'm saying?"
And then the horns kicked in
And my shoes started to squeak
Then I find myself walking near this lake
And the phone rings
And the operator speaks to me in a language I don't understand
Ooom poppa chikamaga wana sing gow
Do lomma sinnigama mana ching jow
Inimana choogamaga wana sing gee
Finimana foonimana one is now free
Then the horns kicked in
And my shoes started to squeak
Now we're coming up on this really wierd part of my dream
You know, the part where I know how to tapdance
But I can only do it while wearing golf shoes
Then I'm walking again with the girl who can talk with her eyes
This time she says, "I think you see what I'm saying"
Then just before I woke up, it started to rain in southern california
Ooom poppa chikamaga wana sing gow
Do lomma sinnigama mana ching jow
Inimana choogamaga wana sing gee
Finimana foonimana one is now free
Aren't you supposed to be at work?
The girl who could talk with her eyes.
"Can you see what I'm saying?"
This is ponderous man, really ponderous.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:20:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What is this? The gay version of the Three Stooges?
I see scourge as Larry, O as 'mo, and something or other as Shemp.
MyTeeOne would be Curly, I suppose.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:19:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:14:17 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
you're supposed to say something back about my mother, you fucking dipshit. if you're not going to do this right, don't fucking do it at all.
------------------
YOUR MOTHER WEARS ARMY BOOTS
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:19:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I give myself a +1 because I make myself smile.
And isn't that the least someone can ask for in life?
Chin up, Sally, you'll talk pretty one day.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:14:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you're supposed to say something back about my mother, you fucking dipshit. if you're not going to do this right, don't fucking do it at all.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:13:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And the conductor analogy? *yawn* Try rating honestly yourself when you stumble across a bad post one of your "posse" has written and see how much of a Puppetmaster you are then.
---
Do you think I actually read their posts? Have you seen what they've written?
I just review, usually with a link to something of mine, and then make a few more comments so everyone thinks we're cool. Then I wait for them to stop by and heat my posts so I can validate my life.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck off, O.
And why, oh why, do you see it fit to take the troube to rate yourself every time you respond?
Careful, your insecurity is showing.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
whing -- verb, whinged, whing·ing, noun
-verb (used without object) 1. to utter a low, usually queefy, complaining cry or sound, as from uneasiness, discontent, peevishness, indigestion, bad vibes, fear of quicksand, or roids etc.: The puppies were whinging from hunger after their mother ate all that afterbirth.
2. to snivel or complain in a peevish, self-pitying way: He is always whinging about his problems with erectile dysfunction and his old balls.
-verb (used with object)
3. to queef with or as if with a whine: I totally whinged in my boyfriend's face last night after I wasn't allowed to get dessert at Applebee's.
-noun
4. a queefish utterance, sound, or tone.
5. a feeble, peevish crumpling.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There's some effort, at least. People around here have gotten way too complacent in their positions.
Pisses me off.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:08:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, nobody's attacking anything, just making a wild accusation. then, much like bret, the holder of the account couldn't restrain themselves from immediately spitting and shitting over themselves to make a retort.
anyway, how's this for an attack:
your mother's a whore.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:08:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
O: I'd rather see this with a -.05 and 400 reviews than have it stay positive. Fact is, this is garbage, and you're just coasting.
Typical Uber reach-arounds.
And the conductor analogy? *yawn* Try rating honestly yourself when you stumble across a bad post one of your "posse" has written and see how much of a Puppetmaster you are then.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:05:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:59:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
looks like bret stole a new alter two below
===
Hey, scourge: are you capable of coming up with ANYthing better than calling someone an alter? Matter of fact, is that the best anyone on Uber has to offer? That's the most played-out, weakest excuse for an attack I've ever seen. Only grade-A whiners resort to that.
Oh, wait. That's you all over.
Little whinging bitch.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:04:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What's more, by presenting a call to action to others to do their part and balance this out, you, too, are participating in hitwhoring. Hitwhoring of a certain, negative sort, yes, but hitwhoring nonetheless.
You see, I am so adept at this craft that I don't even have to ask for the hits myself. I have people like you to do it for me. I am but the conductor, you are the 4th french horn. So blow.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-11-09 16:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What I think is that the magnitude of positive ratings and insipid responses you've gotten to this post thus far makes me wish there was some way to send a massive electrical pulse straight to your computer and end you where you sit.
Specific enough, shitbag?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:59:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
looks like bret stole a new alter two below
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:57:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
So you're saying you don't like Zoltar?
What are you, some sort of communist?
Besides, I got where I am today by practicing the ancient art of the Hitwhore. You don't think all of a sudden that my kung fu is going to just go away, do you?
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:53:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, yeah. And you're hitwhoring, too, as though you fucking need it.
Nothing weaker than a "tell me all waht u think!!!!!!111!!" to garner undeserved hitz.
Fuck right off a cliff.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:51:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Tripe like this having a positive rating?
Let's all do our part to balance pure shit like this out.
-2DIE, fucker. You don't deserve a good rating here.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:34:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:15:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Twas not a typo. This post is ultra gay.
====
oh yeah...well...you're a motherfucker!
---
dude you've got her on the ropes!
call her a stupid bitch next and the day is yours!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:20:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tis teh Gayest thing in all of Gayland.
Tis Gayer than the Gaytastic Reliquary of Antioc, and that's extraordinarily gay.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:19:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
point, The BOSH Man!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:18:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Clearly you have all won this battle of wits. I am chastened, truly.
gay.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
motherfucker
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:17:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ya
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:17:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW, I think Electro is teh Super-Hawt.
...
Especially in his fluffy sex-suit.
Mmmmmmmm.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:15:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Twas not a typo. This post is ultra gay.
====
oh yeah...well...you're a motherfucker!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:16:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wait wait...do the one where you talk about how much more money you have than i do
i love that one
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:15:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Granted, it WAS only my "B list" stuff, but if you're really honest about it, it's still much more entertaining than pretty much everyone else's "A list" material.
Including yours.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:15:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But Fear Not, my on-edge-with-apprehension audience.
I soon won the day by utilizing my amazing furry powers of seduction.
...
Well, shit. I just done outed myself.
I don't think I'm going to need O-man's analysis on this one after all.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:15:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Twas not a typo. This post is ultra gay.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:14:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So are you predicting the future or just dream reading?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:14:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a common typo
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:13:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haaayyyy u gays!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy...I"m still waiting for your A list material, that one was weak.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:12:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In the dream, I had a Giant Lazer Cannon that went "PEW PEW".
Fucked Mecha-Godzilla right up, I tell you what.
Of course, when the cunning linguist broke out his ginormous Power Saw o' Doom, I had to regroup and rethink my strategy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:11:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Apparently, muddy can't come up with a "witty retort" to the last two zingers tossed in his direction.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:11:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'deeper meaning'.. is that what kids these days are calling anal sex?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:10:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, Der...
We all knew THAT.
I was just wondering if there was any 'deeper' meaning...
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 15:07:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:55:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Once, I had a dream that I was a giant tiger and rampaged through Tokyo fighting Mecha-Godzilla.
...
True story.
====
means you like dick, not yours
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:55:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Once, I had a dream that I was a giant tiger and rampaged through Tokyo fighting Mecha-Godzilla.
...
True story.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
After this afternoon I don't see why anyone would willingly consume a Twinkie.
Besides, Muddy's much more of a bologna fan. It reminds him of his neckfat and how calm he feels when someone strokes it as they would a kitten or a special needs child's brow.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:46:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've eaten more pussy than you've chowed down Hostess Twinkies, fatass/badass.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Clearly. And he was white.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:31:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll paint you one...not
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:31:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
link even
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:30:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i knew someone would like to that flower
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 19:22:43 GMT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:50:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY, I'M 5 FEET TALL, YOU'RE ALL BIG TO ME.
=
we smell better too
===
Hey, I may be many things, but smelly is not one of them. I'm a fucking flower.
---
What sort of flower is that?
--------------
Amorphophallus titanum
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titan_arum
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:27:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you couldn't find town with a map and a GPS old man
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:26:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Let me have a whiff of your box and I'll confirm your statement.
While I'm down there, I'll "go to town", too, as an added bonus.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:22:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:50:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY, I'M 5 FEET TALL, YOU'RE ALL BIG TO ME.
=
we smell better too
===
Hey, I may be many things, but smelly is not one of them. I'm a fucking flower.
---
What sort of flower is that?
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:02:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0gq9fzi6M0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 14:00:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SASSSSSSSSSSSQUATCH..
WE KNOW YOUR LEGENDS REEEEEAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:51:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have seen the error of my ways and will order a double order of Sesame Chicken as pennance.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:50:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY, I'M 5 FEET TALL, YOU'RE ALL BIG TO ME.
=
we smell better too
===
Hey, I may be many things, but smelly is not one of them. I'm a fucking flower.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:48:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh I forgot to log in as my alter....
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:47:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:39:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, I see someone took his ramble-pills today.
Last night, I had the strangest dream.
I sailed away, to China, in a little rowboat to find you.
And you said you had to have your laundry cleaned.
---
This means that you do not respect the work of The Asian as it pertains to quality dry cleaning.
You are no stranger to struggle, you do not back down from it, as your rowing suggests. But I would offer that you might consider struggling with the idea that just because you're little, yellow and different - like Nuprin - it doesn't mean you can't clean clothes well.
Act like a mountain climber: embrace the slope.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY, I'M 5 FEET TALL, YOU'RE ALL BIG TO ME.
=
we smell better too
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:46:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no high five...lets touch helmuts
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY, I'M 5 FEET TALL, YOU'RE ALL BIG TO ME.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
IT'S PREDICTABLE BECAUSE I DON'T READ THIS SCHLOCK, I JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURES.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:44:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Legend WAS on last night.
We must be Encore buddies.
HI FIVE
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MMMMMMM.....MIA SARA ...legend was on last night...she is hot
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
on it
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:42:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ya i did.. then i noticed the file name
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:41:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is there still a Bobs Big Boy on Alameda in Burbank near the NBC studios?
I want it to be that one.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:41:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 11:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i had a dream last night that i stole a corvette that belonged to a friend of mine (he does not own a corvette, mind you).. in my dream, i 'woke up' and went outside to see the vette in my driveway so i raced around town trying to bring it back to his house before the sun came up.
---
This sounds to me like you have repressed anxiety over not being born as Richard Edson, also known as The Garage Attendant from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Normally a dream like this would indicate that you were him in another life, but as he's still alive this is right out. But let's look at it: your Mr. Toad-less wild ride all over creation mirrors Edson's abuse of the Ferrari in the movie. I mean all you needed was a cameo by Larry Flash Jenkins to really bring it all home.
My advice is that you make your way to LA and bang out Mia Sara on the hood of a Corvette.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:41:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'M ON A ROLL NOW...ANYONE ELSE WANT SOME LOVE...?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:38:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna be big.
===========
Bob wins
MOST PREDICTABLE COMMENT OF THE DAY!!!WOOOT!!!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:40:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:39:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
used to be that orgasmafickle was the one uber male I'd like to stick it in
now i think its scourgeofmypants
---
*swoons*
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
what are your 'feet Jabba'?
========
,
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:39:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well, I see someone took his ramble-pills today.
Last night, I had the strangest dream.
I sailed away, to China, in a little rowboat to find you.
And you said you had to have your laundry cleaned.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:39:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
used to be that orgasmafickle was the one uber male I'd like to stick it in
now i think its scourgeofmypants
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
what are your 'feet Jabba'?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:38:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna be big.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:38:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
and
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:37:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow they didn't see that coming
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm fuckin still laughing 'roo rookin gur'
that's comedy gold there scourge, lick my feet Jabba
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING WINNER BELOW
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you're very stupid.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
time out
that last one of mine has me still rollin
i fuckin kill me
ok game on
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:35:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
your wife thinks I look pretty good
at least that's what I think she said...it came out like 'ROO ROOKIN GUR'...what with my cock in her mouth and all.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sacrilicious - Mistress of Quality Anal
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
comical chemical....like nitrous?
DUUUUUDE
---
Dangerous like phosphorus. It's comical because the fire will occur right next to a Bob's Big Boy, a fireworks factory and a school for the deaf and blind.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:34:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:34:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My title is also Quality Analyst.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:33:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oooooooooooooooooooooooo
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:33:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
go look in the mirror
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:32:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck no bosh...i've got dibs on slapping the fucking shit out of muddy's wife's ass.
===
you're hopeless bro
---
and muddy here can be voiced by kaos_king as they both share that fat neck and chin thing that makes them sound like they're gargling pureed luncheon meats as they speak.
======
Where's the funny, meshuganah?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wait you're a dream analyzer?
haha anal
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 11:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i had a dream last night that i stole a corvette that belonged to a friend of mine (he does not own a corvette, mind you).. in my dream, i 'woke up' and went outside to see the vette in my driveway so i raced around town trying to bring it back to his house before the sun came up.
then i REALLY woke up and 2only like 45 minutes had gone by since i fell asleep.
i sitll went outside to see if there was a corvette in my driveway.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a dream I had an awesome dream
People in the park playing games in the dark
And what they played was a masquerade
And from behind of walls of doubt a voice was crying out
Say you, say me; say it for always
That's the way it should be
Say you, say me; say it together
Naturally
As we go down lifes lonesome highway
Seems the hardest thing to do is to find a friend or two
A helping hand - some one who understands
That when you feel youve lost your way
Youve got some one there to say Ill show you
So you think you know the answers - oh no
couse the whole world has got you dancing
Thats right - Im telling you
Its time to start believing - oh yes
Believing who you are: you are a shining star
Say you, say me; say it for always
Thats the way it should be
Say you, say me; say it together
Naturally
Say it together... naturally.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck no bosh...i've got dibs on slapping the fucking shit out of muddy's wife's ass.
===
you're hopeless bro
---
and muddy here can be voiced by kaos_king as they both share that fat neck and chin thing that makes them sound like they're gargling pureed luncheon meats as they speak.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:29:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
comical chemical....like nitrous?
DUUUUUDE
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:28:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
scourge you can have Gilbert Gottfried or anyone else from the cast of 'Problem Child'
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck no bosh...i've got dibs on Andy Dick.
===
you're hopeless bro
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:26:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:21:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
OK I'll bite
I had a dream about catching a 50 pound black salmon (with white spots)
when I finally fought it in I grabbed it by the gills and removed the hook
It looked at me and said "duuuude"
With that I let it go
What does it mean oh great smarmy?
---
This is actually a very encouraging dream
The color of the salmon suggests you have racial issues on your mind, and feel that whites are in danger of becoming the minority. And yet you did not gut and consume the fish, which would suggest anger. Rather, you freed the fish from its source of pain and celebrated the harmony of black and white, of fish and not-fish. The salmon's embrace of you through its brotherly nickname only reinforces the idea that multiple parties can understand and respect each other even though they may be different.
In other words, it means you're going to die in a tragic, yet comical, chemical fire.
I'd go out and buy an Audi on your lunch break and use it to bang many horny singles before the end comes.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck no bosh...i've got dibs on connery.
wait. fuck that.
i get james earl jones.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i will not agree to the uber cd idea unles si could do my own voice.
or sean connery
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:24:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i wish somebody would put uber on a cd. then
i could just listen to it instead of reading.
the poster in one voice.
and then all the comments in other voices.
i'd pay about 5.95 for a cd.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:23:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wtfinrat
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i didn't read all that
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Como-day-yay-hah!
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:21:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
OK I'll bite
I had a dream about catching a 50 pound black salmon (with white spots)
when I finally fought it in I grabbed it by the gills and removed the hook
It looked at me and said "duuuude"
With that I let it go
What does it mean oh great smarmy?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Let's be fair, scourge, your post was a blatant rip-off of Boxcar Billiam 'Dollar' Cranksniff's famous post on hobotimes.com "Ain't Nothing Here But The Bird I Just Ate For Dins."
Everybody rips off everybody. That's Hollywood.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:17:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:16:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:15:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96538
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:15:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
90 minutes each way, 4 days a week
i just finished Colbert's audio book.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:15:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh
huh
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:15:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hey, this is a blatant rip-off of me!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Never lived in Boston, BOSH. I just celebrate the Sox.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:14:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, Tom Hanks flashback.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
do you still live in boston?
that seems like a long commute
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When I said homeless guy what color did you think his skin was?
---
i imagined a white guy with a hairy gut
i may change my rating after i finish reading
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:13:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
white
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-11-09 13:12:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm "enjoying" a Twinkie for the first time in 11-13 years.
I don't think I want to know how old it is.
There aren't enough quote marks I could put around "enjoy" to express my total dissatisfacion with myself for even thinking that this was a good idea.
"""""""""""""""""""enjoy"""""""""""""""""""