'My First Time' Tuesdays - The Cheesiest Cheese Sauce In The Whole Of Cheeseland. (1208 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 0.46 on 64 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by phuzzygish (View user info) at 2007-11-06 06:59:50 EST
It was, I swear to everything good and pure.
Sam had done the crumbed chicken breasteses, and the garlic baby potatoes, and the sugar snap beans with baby corn, while Flattie whipped out some roasted cubes of butternut.
I couldn't just sit there. I had to do SOMETHING besides roll a joint and drink a Klippies Coke premix.
Never tasted that before by the way, thought I'd give it a bash. It's pants.
So a cheese sauce, or 'roux de fromage' as I hear the Italians call it, was called for.
Bear in mind I'd never done it before. I'd seen people do it, eaten plenty of them, but never actually prepared, from scratch, a cheese sauce. I got the cheddar grated into a nice pile, I put the pot on the stove to heat up, grabbed the flour and milk, and realised I had fuckall butter.
Doh.
Still, when one commits to assisting those around one, one cannot simply pull out due to a lack of ingredients in ones kitchen. One. So the milk was put in the pot, and on the heat. A dab of flour was gently chucked into it, and a whole lot of whisking ensued.
A globular glumpy mass sort of unsued the unsuing of the whisking.
Not to be deterred I whisked. I whisked hard, and fast. I wielded hat whisk in a manner such a whisk has never been wielded before, and added a touch more milk.
It thinned. It thinned gloriously, and I knew it was time. The mature cheddar, pre-grated by Mr Woolworth, made a sort of 'spush' sound as it hit the milky floury mix, and again with the whisking.
Whisk, whisk, dab milk, touch flower, Maldon sea salt, whisk, whisk.
Hooray.
I swear, and have the leftovers in the fridge to prove it, it was the cheesiest, smoothest, positively delectable dairy based topping for meat and vegetables that my little hands have ever conceived. It was also the only one. But hey, who's counting right?
Bring me your poor, your hungry, your lactose tolerant.
I have the technology. I will feed them cheesy goodness.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheDoctor (user info) at 2007-11-08 09:14:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-11-07 02:44:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
any country that sells a 40mm Armscor, over the counter, for $695.00 cash, is ok by me
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-07 01:59:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope. You can't.
You have to be devastatingly handsome, incredibly popular, have travelled the world, and made an awesomely awesome cheese sauce.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-11-06 15:37:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
how interesting and exciting. can I BE you?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-11-06 14:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-06 13:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
did you try it? is it still edible? Somehow that seems entirely wrong.
also this post's title is misleading. you're not in cheeseland, I am, therfore it canna possibly be the cheesiest in cheeseland.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-11-06 13:32:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The in-laws gave us this hunk of 300 year old Parmesan cheese that was made by monks in Tuscany on the 4th full moon of the year. They claim it cost them hundreds of dollars for the wheel.
I don't get it. It smells like feet.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-06 11:12:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I love cheese.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 11:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahh quit licking nutsacks, quite frankly THIS is the funniest GIF ever
http://www.ubersite.com/m/101146
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-06 10:55:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:28:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
is this the best gif ever?
http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff183/cptlzr/slap_for_sparta.gif
---
quite possibly
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-11-06 10:11:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you made some nice cheese sauce. congrats, but I really really don't care.
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-11-06 10:07:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, you know what they say - Those who can't, judge.
The post was amusing enough to make me smile. But this comment made me laugh, so in all fairness, I added an extra point.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-11-06 09:53:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmm...... cheese sauce. hmmm... wonder if the ex left her mac and cheese recipe on my fridge. hope so.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-06 09:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ok cheese.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 09:07:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmmm can i be your office junior lungfish, i would bring you beer and shine your shoes.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-11-06 09:01:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm lactose intolerant. Violently so, given enough milk. It ain't pretty. Cheese doesn't affect me though. This post got me the thinking of the lovely garlic and cheese grits I used to eat on Sundays.
Also, I work with a guy from South Africa. I congratulated him on his World Cup victory, as though he were playing in it. I think I've made a friend for life.
I'm exceedingly dull in the mornings.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 09:00:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well im just ridiculously good looking.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 08:59:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Perhaps, but I'm a spaz with incredible hair and devastingly handsome features.
So it all evens out in the end.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 08:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a spaz then.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 08:39:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i AM sAM.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 08:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dont like Sam.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:55:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope.
Maldon sea salt (the flaky crunchy kind) and no pepper...
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:52:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
forgot salt n pepper.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:45:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know you are in S.A. When....
The bank checks your great grandparents' credit record before
granting you a credit card.
----
Without checking your residential address or monthly income.
*swipe swipe*
*bankruptcy*
*new card application to cover the maxed out one*
*ooh ta, lady.*
*swipe swipe*
ad infinitum
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:44:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:37:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://ericjoisel.com/Site/barbarians.html
Holy crap.
=========
I expect to see that in an APW or something....i'm too lazy.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:40:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:28:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Send me the recipe with correct amounts please?
----
Um, well, it's sort of like this:
About roughly maybe a splash of milk.
Then sort of pour out some flour from the packet into the milk.
WHISK WHISK WHISK.
Lots of whisky.
Then some more milk, A GREAT FLIPPIN HUGE WODGE OF GRATED CHEESE, and a dab more flour. Ish.
WHISK.
SOme more milk.
I could go into more detail, but it's a bit technical...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know you are in S.A. When....
The bank checks your great grandparents' credit record before
granting you a credit card.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
all your copper wirez are belong to shanty boiz.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:37:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://ericjoisel.com/Site/barbarians.html
Holy crap.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:37:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NapalmFace (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
'roux de fromage'
italian?
epic fail.
---
You're kidding, right?
Please tell me you're joking.
Oh my.
I hope he's joking.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:36:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm laughing at your economy
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:35:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you aint laughing at me mr jizz head.
my mullah brings all the boys to the yard
I AINT NO CLOWN!
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You people make me laugh.
At you.
Yes you, clown.
I'm laughing at YOU.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:32:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what a retard
Submitted by NapalmFace (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
'roux de fromage'
italian?
epic fail.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:30:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 world cup nuance.
now go and fuck yourself.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:28:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Send me the recipe with correct amounts please?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:28:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
is this the best gif ever?
http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff183/cptlzr/slap_for_sparta.gif
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:27:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well that wasn'tnice. I'm off to class my angels.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OUI....hey is that French?? you know im just not sure!
MW you donut!! ahahahahahahahhah
its ok im just pulling your jambe, oh thats french by they way ;)
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:27:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Because I feel like it.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:27:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:25:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ATTN SICO: HE JUST USED THIS: http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/2981350/2/istockphoto_2981350_hat_and_whisk.jpg
-----
bwahahahahahaha
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll stop now :)
I'm just being an ass hat.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"A globular glumpy mass sort of unsued the unsuing of the whisking. "
Should I continue?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:25:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ATTN SICO: HE JUST USED THIS: http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/2981350/2/istockphoto_2981350_hat_and_whisk.jpg
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not grumpy really it was just a question.
here, a peace offereing
http://ericjoisel.com/Site/barbarians.html
you may have seen it but it's pretty awesome.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:24:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"I wielded hat whisk in a manner such a whisk has never been wielded before, and added a touch more milk. "
This wasn't a mistake?
Shouldn't be I wielded THAT whisk?
STFU then.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:22:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, for a website where no one takes anything seriously, people sure do take stuff seriously around here.
I write shit like this to amuse myself, and maybe others, knowing full well that many won't find it 'The Kicker of All Ass'.
So stop so grumpy.
Grumpy pants.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:22:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Welcome to the world of cheesy goodness. Next time use butter. A bit of wholegrain works a treat too. Now I want macaroni cheese.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:21:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=491668&in_page_id=1770
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:17:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
don't be mad at me if your 'funny' is not
it was a simple question a yes or no would have sufficed.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:16:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH NOES!!!!! FRENCH?? NOT ITALIAN?? REALLY?
GOSH.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
isn't 'roux de fromage' French
ahahahahahahahahahahaha
dooofus
no its booger booger language of course
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:12:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
isn't 'roux de fromage' French?
this post blow really but I guess you get a pass for being ubercool
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:12:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-06 12:09:24 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 12:08:09 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
becuase hurty Im wearing an orange wig and sporting a big red nose
============
So you're dressed up as... Ronald McDonald's gay ginger uncle?
-------------
No you stupid parasite. Lets forget this whole sorry episode.
Phuzzy is a big girl, thats all I know.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I always enjoy madsperm's response to my vocab, 'You don't speak like I do, you must be making some sort of mistake.'
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That sounds pretty good man, pretty damn good. Also your mates sound like good people.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:09:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 12:08:09 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
becuase hurty Im wearing an orange wig and sporting a big red nose
============
So you're dressed up as... Ronald McDonald's gay ginger uncle?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, you know what they say - Those who can't, judge.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:08:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
becuase hurty Im wearing an orange wig and sporting a big red nose
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:05:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This was rubbish. I think you made a few mistakes as well.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:05:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
*golf clap*
Cheese sauce is tough. Weak sauce is easy. This was cheese sauce.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:04:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are you nicking Scottish words EI?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-06 07:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
next time just get your wee knob out and scrape your knob cheese into a bowl and feed it to your poor poor friends.