UGR - The Pieces of Pride (640 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.69 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fey (View user info) at 2007-09-11 16:35:02 EDT
I walked in through the open patio door, not entirely sure I could just walk into this home anymore. I checked in the kitchen, the study, the lounge; all empty. I called up the stairs, realised that nobody could hear me, and started up them. It felt odd, encroaching like this.
He was where I'd begun to suspect he would be, polishing trophies in a room left untouched for many years. Seemingly oblivious to my presence, he replaced the prize-cup he had in his hands on the top shelf, wiping off an errant fingerprint with his handkerchief. The light shining in through the window beside him caressed his face and head, his wild silver hair creating a bright halo. He'd always seemed to me a cross between a wise philosopher and a mad scientist, with his fly-away hair and gentle eyes.
His gentle eyes shone with unshed tears, and it hurt me to see him hurting still. After all these years, hurting still. He half-turned his body toward me, but kept his gaze fixed looking out the window, watching something only he could see. I reached out a hand, wanting so badly to touch him, comfort him, but I let it fall back to my side.
"I still can't believe he's gone." he murmured, as if he were speaking to himself. "I miss him. I miss him everyday." He turned back to the shelf, studying the pieces without seeing them as he regained control. "Ah, my son..." He drew in a sharp breath and held it, let it swell his chest, allowing no room for any tears or useless self-recrimination.
He turned on his heel and walked toward me, through me, out onto the landing. I gazed on my collection of prizes won, victories past. "I love you, Dad."
User Reviews
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ArnieGeddon (user info) at 2007-10-01 08:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-01 08:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112074#2538535
So, what's this about then?
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oh, that. that. well that was me flexing my leet i.t. smartz and showing bart that his poxy proxy server has some pretty basic security flaws. like when the mozilla guys write exploits for explorer and that ghey email client of microsofts for example, you know, just to prove a point. I'm about as banned from uber as steve biko was from phuzzys upmarket tosspot white-power cafe latte sidewalk chrome chairs and tables. But I let bart think I am at the behest of Mertle, his mum. she hates conflict, and loves her son, but doesn't want to stop seeing me. jesus what are you, the web police?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-15 03:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Born For This
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-14 19:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Det betvivlar jag starkt, Jonny. Jag tror att du muckar, men det är lugnt; det man skickar ut får man tillbaka.
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You doubt my love for you?
Now I am sad, sad like a Finn - I must go ballroom dancing.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-13 15:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Du har tappat ditt ord och din papperslapp, du barfotabarn i livet.
Så sitter du åter på handlar'ns trapp och gråter så övergivet.
Vad var det för ord - var det långt eller kort,var det väl eller illa skrivet?
Tänk efter nu - förr'n vi föser dig bort, du barfotabarn i livet.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-13 15:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Do me a favour? Stay out of my headspace, hm?
Because people like you are the reason people like me hate the world.
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FUNNY!
The reason why you hate the world, is because the world hates you.
And you know it.
You need to get mentally tougher - I'll do my best to help you out - I point to OathMeal as one of my success stories.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-13 14:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111695#2524367
do, explain. Curiosity has gotten the better of me.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-13 13:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 Fey.
I think I might get a t-shirt made.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-12 09:31:40 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
... but you are told personally and relentlessly ...
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So who do you know that I know...personally? I made a comment that got under your skin, as in through the internet, right out of your computer and literally in to your skin?
I don't posture on the internet, dumb lady. I use it as playground, this site too. It's nice of you to join me down here and shout your seething comments at me from that perch you are sitting on. At a cursory glance, you and your musings come off more arrogant and snobbish than any criticisms I've seen around here. Little tidbits here, little tidbits there, who really cares.
Sure you're a better writer, but do I try? No, I watch people like you pour effort onto the page and come by with my 'honest' critique that I though this was a bland, boring subject and you get all huffy, come to my post and cry about it.
Now that I'm done, you can climb back on the horse you rode in on and do whatever it is that you do.
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BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-13 08:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yea, I'm sweet as......
why?
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-12 13:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hate below.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-12 12:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
... but you are told personally and relentlessly ...
---
So who do you know that I know...personally? I made a comment that got under your skin, as in through the internet, right out of your computer and literally in to your skin?
I don't posture on the internet, dumb lady. I use it as playground, this site too. It's nice of you to join me down here and shout your seething comments at me from that perch you are sitting on. At a cursory glance, you and your musings come off more arrogant and snobbish than any criticisms I've seen around here. Little tidbits here, little tidbits there, who really cares.
Sure you're a better writer, but do I try? No, I watch people like you pour effort onto the page and come by with my 'honest' critique that I though this was a bland, boring subject and you get all huffy, come to my post and cry about it.
Now that I'm done, you can climb back on the horse you rode in on and do whatever it is that you do.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-12 11:38:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
for looking like Howard Stern
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-12 10:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-09-12 09:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Short but sweet, I like!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-12 08:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-12 07:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How creatively original...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-09-12 02:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh ah
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-11 21:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:55:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for actually writing something decent, which is more than I've managed to do this whole comp.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111636
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-11 17:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-09-11 17:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-09-11 17:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I finally got a fucking job, and at a bong shop no less
Plus fucking two to me
(and one for you)
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-09-11 17:22:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate to be the one to ruin a perfect rating, but I feel like this needed something more to be a 2.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-09-11 17:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice job with this.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-11 17:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-11 17:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ZOMG OK SO LIHKE DOES THA GHOST GET SOME ACTION OR WUT!>!> HAHAH ROFLZ
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-09-11 16:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-11 16:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Little...yellow...different.
I like this.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-09-11 16:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-11 16:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw how short this was and I was like, "Awww, Fey."
Then I read it.
Not bad. I have a really difficult time with super-short fiction, but I can recognise when it's done well.
Good on you.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-11 16:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did not do this idea or competition justice. School, work, life. It all got in the way. Sorry, people.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-09-11 16:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
see?
first out of the gate!