RPM: A Decent Goddamn Uber Post (987 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.22 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shinji Ikari (View user info) at 2007-07-23 12:29:34 EDT
Sick of everyone slamming your latest post about how to "make your girl smile"? Tired of your story about your labia piercing accompanied with drunken camslore not receiving the critical acclaim it deserves?
ARE YOU JUST NOT GETTING THE +2s AND HEAT YOU SO DESPERATELY CRAVE?
Well, look no further, my no-talent chummies! This easy-to-follow recipe, properly assembled, will generate so many hits and positive ratings that even your brittle, fragile ego will be assuaged for UP TO HALF A DAY! Holy fuck!
Gather the following ingredients:
- 1 1/2 pounds witty anecdote, ground
- 2 cloves clever metaphor, chopped
- 2 stalks affected world-weariness
- 3 tsp. profanity (scathing hot)
- 1/2 tsp. bitter invective
- dash of humor
- unreasonable hate and rage to taste
Heat a medium-sized Message box with extra-virgin blood and tears at medium-high and combine all ingredients together. Cook until thoroughly browned; DO NOT DRAIN, the grease indicates quality. Remove from heat and sprinkle liberally with rape. Submit and serve with day-old black coffee, cheap whiskey, bad cigarettes, or sweet, sweet cake.
Enjoy your newfound popularity!
User Reviews
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-24 20:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Caulaincourt alter.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-23 16:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alter, sure, but you're not Bret or sico.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-23 16:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who are you?
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2007-08-23 15:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-24 15:37:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-07-24 01:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Gendo
your dad didn't do so well here.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-07-24 00:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why can't the post just be fun?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-07-23 21:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-07-23 18:12:41 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hard to believe that a plate of puke is about the only thing worth commenting on lately.
+2 for the plate of puke.
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Dude, that's just what Mexican food looks like.
Submitted by UTOCKIN2ME (user info) at 2007-07-23 21:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hard to believe that a plate of puke is about the only thing worth commenting on lately.
+2 for the plate of puke.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-07-23 19:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Innovative.
Submitted by Design (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You whine like a little girl with a skinned knee.
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn this scroll wheel!
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-23 10:53:51 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shut up Simon, you whingey, alter-loving noob.
---------
ooh, you are going to get a CRUMPLING for that.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:37:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, I've tried this recipe before. I found it tasteless, gooey, and lacking substance, consistency, or texture.
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:36:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd say you're right!
I can't squeeze enough hate into a whole year for most of you dickheads, but I'm sure I'll find a way.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about ikari_shinji
User id: 31264
Registered on or around: 2007-06-15 10:22:22 EDT
# Messages posted: 5
# Reviews written: 175
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 124
# Hits: 1654
Average rating of all messages: -0.58
I'll say you have alot of work to do.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love alters.
Maybe I should get one. Then I could be a giant gaping pussy as well.
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When you show up in the Obits tomorrow, I'll throw myself a little party.
Until then, I have much more work to do proving that most of you are complete shit.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:32:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Okay. You win.
Feel like a big man?
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:30:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yep. That was all I needed before I decided you're consuming far too much atmosphere.
Please, consider others. We'd all be better off if you stopped breathing. Thanks very fucking much.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Do we really need to read more than three to know you suck ass?
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, you read three of my posts.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
welcome back.
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shut the fuck up, Foolproof. Post some more LOLcat dreck, you waste of sperm.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-23 15:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, any chance of you using this recipe anytime soon or will you just keep on sucking ass?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-23 14:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-23 10:31:07 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dervish = experima
------
hang on there, sico. I like dervish but he's not me, he's A Little More Time, and doesn't care who knows it.
my only alter is diavola, and I rarely have used it.
and I don't get into internet fights with anyone, and never have with you.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-23 14:37:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"blah blah whinge this, boo hoo noobs, wambulance-I'm-a-skinny-jpeg".
Get banned. Again.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-23 14:01:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Had, explain this whingey thing to me...please?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shut up Simon, you whingey, alter-loving noob.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dervish = experima
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Putting that much thought into an internet posture is about as useful as getting another asshole when one works proficient. Everyone has Rite-Aid psychology degrees around this mother fucker. I use an alter and out myself because my account is banned. I'm not using an alter to hide behind a mirror and say how I really feel, pussy.
Fucking tardo. Get over yourself and get off my coattails. Yes, I stirred some shit for entertainment, for all, not just for myself. Your jealousy is pungent. Go air out.
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It seemed to me the hate you stirred up was real enough. You apologized, sure, but I defy you to claim that you didn't get some entertainment out of it.
Oh, and in case you've forgotten (again), I am an alter. I use this name to post fiction. And I don't care how long you've been around.
A fifty year-old man acting like a five year-old is infinitely more pathetic than the five year-old who acts his age. I'm not saying you've regressed to that degree, but I think the point is valid.
I'm just sayin'.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Apparently you are the retard. I never started internet fights, you fucking dick sock. I was in jest, sarcastic trait which you don't seem to possess. You fucking retard noobs think you know so much shit but you are an ignorant little turd under my shoe. :) You will be nothing, and even if you become something, you'll still be an innocent turd looming in my shadow.
Have a good day, and don't bother replying. And if you are an alter, well played.
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And you are? Heh, suck it easy down there, bud.
------------------------------------------
Not someone who gets his kicks by starting internet fights, obviously.
I think that's why we can't get along. Maybe you should go back to playing with the other kids who ride the short bus.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And you are? Heh, suck it easy down there, bud.
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This isn't new, original, or entertaining. You are an alter. Good day, dick sock.
---------------------------------------
Criticism?
From YOU?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*SNORTGASPCOUGH*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This isn't new, original, or entertaining. You are an alter. Good day, dick sock.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pretty sure this has been done and oh so much better
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-23 13:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't care for alters.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-07-23 12:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ya know I was skeptical about a user with a negative overall rating writing a post like this, especially one named after a bisexual anime character, but you did a good job. Solid +1.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-07-23 12:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Tired of your story about your labia piercing accompanied with drunken camslore not receiving the critical acclaim it deserves?"
Hey - I don't recall seeing that. I would have given that a +2.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-23 12:54:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 invective
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-23 12:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality satire.
It's about time you posted something decent.
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-07-23 12:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-23 12:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is that what it takes? Glad you've enlightened us.
Oh, you forgot '2-3 grinds sarcasm' in your ingredient list.
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Son of a BITCH. So much for earning my chef's cap from Bart THIS semester...
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-23 12:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is that what it takes? Glad you've enlightened us.
Oh, you forgot '2-3 grinds sarcasm' in your ingredient list.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-23 12:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more rape.