Maltese's First UBERVERSARY!!! (1505 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.36 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Maltese (View user info) at 2007-07-20 08:54:47 EDT
Yes, that's right folks, it's been exactly 365 days since I, Rusty "Maltese" Hawkins, sat down on the very couch that I am lounging on as I type this, and submitted my first post to Uber. I got really good reviews, but somewhere after five posts I fucked it up...
Anyway...
I am now the administrator of three websites (all very successful), as well as moderator of two more. I've become a /b/tard now, and I'm quite happy with it. Someone posted on one of the sites I admin, "HELLO, IT IS I, RUSTY HAWKINS!", and below that, someone posted, "go back to ubersite". Suspecting that you were trying to raid me on my Uberversary, I came back here, discovered nothing was wrong, and got on Gabbly for a while to talk to redskies and i_can_get_you_a_toe.
Also, not everything I've said has been truthful. I don't live in Los Angeles, or California for that matter. In fact, I've never even been to California. I live in Virginia. Yup. I'm serious.
I've matured quite a bit, and I am no longer the fool I had once been (e.g. "WHOM KILLED TEH CHOCOMUT ICE CREAMERY AND WHY!!??!? LOLZ!!!1").
I'm also sorry for all the shit I put you guys through, especially Bart and Loki. I really do feel bad about that.
Alright, guys, I'm done. This is the part where you drop your ratings. Have at me.
User Reviews
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-12-07 09:32:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
STFU Maltese
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-12-07 09:18:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh hai
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-09-01 16:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this so needed to be bumped.
pause not.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-01 14:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Also, not everything I've said has been truthful.
-------
really? We didn't know.
go away you gross little boy.
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2007-07-22 22:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2007-07-22 20:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-07-22 17:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Slip_and_Fall (user info) at 2007-07-22 00:29:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment. Bastard.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-07-21 17:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
missed you
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-07-21 01:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You sure know how to rile up the Uberians, I'll give you that.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-07-21 01:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you ever call me again, I'll cut your testicles off, dip them in hot sauce, and shove them down your throat.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2007-07-21 00:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-07-20 22:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good for you, kid.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-07-20 21:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Give me a call sometime. You can probably hack my information by looking up the white pages.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-07-20 18:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You fucked with my account and lied about me being your "ally".
I hope your employer finds out you are a security risk.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-07-20 18:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:24:35 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
He's "matured" since his father beat the living shit out of him for having his younger brother call Shlongy's house 46 times.
-------
SHLONGOWNED
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-07-20 17:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
='(
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-07-20 16:21:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats. Where in VA do you live?
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-20 16:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
e-business booming? good on you.
if a post about getting a dollar raise gets a plus 2, so will this.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-20 15:41:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
365
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-07-20 15:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lamest fetus made me laugh
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-07-20 14:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Virginia is a really bad state to live in.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-07-20 14:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
must eat self. heh
(note use of the rare -1)
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-07-20 14:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Get gone and be gone.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-07-20 13:59:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Some good anagrams for "STFU Maltese"...
Lamest Fetus
Lattes Fumes
Meats Flutes
Mutates Self
Flatus Teems
A Fetus Melts
Flame Test Us
Feast Me Slut
Ale Fest Smut
Meats Felt Us
Mates Left Us
Tastes Elf Um
Must Eat Self
Let Emus Fast
Fat Seem Slut
Last Fetus Me
Ma Leftest Us
Am Testes Flu
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-07-20 13:42:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
here's the deal, maltese: you can stay if you promise to get oathmeal to leave.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-20 13:17:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Standard uberversary -2.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-07-20 13:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
STFU Maltese! = Spectacular, The First Uberversary Maltese!
I think that's the sentiment people are trying to convey.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-07-20 12:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I'm glad.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-07-20 12:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I forgot about my uberversary... not that I would've posted about it though.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-20 12:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by PokeyMen (user info) at 2007-07-20 12:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
die
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-20 11:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuckwad.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-07-20 11:26:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU Maltese
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-20 11:24:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
He's "matured" since his father beat the living shit out of him for having his younger brother call Shlongy's house 46 times.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-07-20 11:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Administrator of three successful websites... how much do you get paid? Oh, yeah.
How does one go about maturing 'quite a bit' in a month's time?
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-07-20 11:21:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut the fuck up, maltese.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-07-20 11:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You escape a -2 because you come from Virginia. I lived in Charlottesville last year, it was awesome.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-07-20 11:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go get a book on the internet and read up, dumbfuck.
---
And afterwards try watching some film with a slide projector.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-07-20 11:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
4chan is old news. It's kind of like Maddox. It had its place once, but now it's another waste of space on the internet.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-20 15:29:53 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
CHR15, as per your norm, you are completely clueless.
A /b/tard is someone who frequents the 'random' board at 4chan.
Go get a book on the internet and read up, dumbfuck.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
lol. Way to miss eveything roidotron. As for getting a book and reading about what "is in" on the internet these days, can I borrow some of yours you pathetic freak?
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who gives a rat fuck?
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
STFU Maltese
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU Maltese
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:06:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"STFU MALTESE"
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU, M.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
METHOD! Where ya been?
Hey, Maltese, how come your brother stopped calling my house...was it because Eric DuPlessis is an asshole? Or is it because you're a fucking idiot?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
=)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
here's the deal, maltese: you can stay if you promise to get oathmeal to leave.
----------------------------
Better yet - if you can get Oathmeal AND Sicosemen to leave, AND get Electro to come back, I'll come out of posting retirement and make an Uber song about you.
If not then I echo everyone else: "STFU MALTESE"
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
CHR15, as per your norm, you are completely clueless.
A /b/tard is someone who frequents the 'random' board at 4chan.
Go get a book on the internet and read up, dumbfuck.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I've become a /b/tard now, and I'm quite happy with it."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Were you trying to put tard in bold there? Because dude, we all knew you were a tard ages ago.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 no penis
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You signed up on 14th July and your first post is 21st July, moron.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SHUT THE FUCK UP MALTESE!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hi Maltese
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-20 10:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
here's the deal, maltese: you can stay if you promise to get oathmeal to leave.
otherwise
shut the fuck up, maltese
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Really rolls of the tongue nicely, doesn't it, lover?
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU Maltese
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:06:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"STFU MALTESE"
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU, M.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU!
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU, Maltese.
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to give you a +2 since I wasnt here through all your "drama".
I have always wanted to say one thing though....
STFU Maltese
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this +1 is purely for your jewbersite post - brilliant
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sometimes it's best to stay gone.
This is one of those times.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:06:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
*looks at keyboard*
Hmmmm
*hits key*
"STFU MALTESE"
*nods head* Perfect
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-07-20 09:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
happy uberversary
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAPPY UBERVERSARY !!!!!1!1
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU, M.
Submitted by storm (user info) at 2007-07-20 08:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU!