Cheating at Solitaire. (1315 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by iddqd (View user info) at 2007-07-05 11:37:27 EDT
The card flips over and it's exactly the card he knew it was going to be.
That's what happens when you stack the deck. You stack the deck so that everything works the way it is supposed to be.
"Hey, ma!'
"Yeah, what?"
"Yo, what's for dinner?"
"Why don't ya make a call and find out, ya worthless piece a shit?"
Jack of clubs goes on the queen of diamonds and it all goes smooooooth.
Flip another card and it makes that crisp snappy sound like clockwork, like the sound of things working as they should be.
Jack of hearts goes on Queen of Spades. Just like I prepared it. What's the good of doing anything unless you know how it's gonna play out?
"Hey ma!"
"Yeah, what?"
"You goin' to the store, or what?"
"I ain't bringing you nuttin, ya lazy bum."
"But ya goin', yeah?"
The sound of the front door slamming sounded just like my King of Spades flicking down on the Queen of Diamonds, just like I planned it.
The car roared as I look at the few measly cards left in my hand. Not long left, just a few more turns and we'd be done.
There's a certain satisfaction to be gained from dealing yourself a perfect solitaire. A symmetry to the world that you just wont get anywhere else. you can plan the cards and fool yourself, for just a moment it was all an accident. And sometimes, sometimes that moment is all that counts. Just a moment of disbelief before the card is turned and the eye of the world is decieved. A carefully deliberated and worked out sleight-of-hand.
The car should be on the hill. Red Queen goes on Black Jack.
Pump of a pedal. Black King goes on red Queen.
There are ways to stack a deck, and then there are ways to stack a deck. If you do it right, it comes as a surprise even to you. What do you mean, officer, that my mother is dead? What do you mean, what, what are you saying here? She isn't dead, she left just a minute ago, I spoke to her just a second ago, she isn't dead now, she can't be I just spoke to her.
There are tears and you are genuine in crying them, aren't you? Red king goes on black Queen.
If you stack a deck just so, noone will ever see you do it. I flip the card with consummate ease.
Ace.
Two goes on Ace. Three goes on two. So on and so forth until the plan works itself out. If someone were watching, I mean if someone were REALLY watching they might see me stack the deck so it works out for me, but noone ever watches, noone ever cares. You can cheat at solitaire. It's easy.
My ma will never come home.
Hey ma.
ma...
Hey ma...
User Reviews
Submitted by drstrangedhruv (user info) at 2007-10-05 12:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-07-28 23:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"i have been looking at concept art a lot because i am writing the game-world narrative for an online computer game, and i have to spend a lot of time with the art director designing monsters, characters, locations etc."
+2 if you tell me which game, I'm curious.
Submitted by shmack92 (user info) at 2007-07-07 10:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-05 11:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Cement
*************
heh.
mildy compelling story
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-07-06 00:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah thats some pretty decen advice. for me personally im less interested in making a readers hair stand on end, or delay revelation to create suspense or whatever, and more interested in thinking about the thoughts that go through peoples heads when they do stuff, to try and be ambiguous about how characters behave and speak so that a reader is engaged with thinking about that more than plot direction.
however, at the same time, stories need to be interesting and as such your summation is quite right.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-07-06 00:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mine and Zebra's rankings add up to 1.5. I declare the other reviews irrelevant.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-07-06 00:38:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was a really nice idea but you tipped your hand too early for my taste, and there are better ways to reveal what he did than the direct way you chose. An easy tell, this.
Misdirection and a last second reveal, in this story as in cards, makes for a more exciting time.
This could be one of those shorts that makes the reader's hair stand on end if re-worked in such a fashion.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-07-05 23:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You totally could've told them that that's how we play solitaire in Aus.
At least half my posts on this site were written drunk.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-07-05 23:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah hahaha, oops. not as bad as me playing the card game out backwards. dont drink and write, kids.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-07-05 22:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I flip the card with consummate ease.
---------
Flipping cards isn't that hard.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-07-05 20:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahaha, youre too easy. calm down cheif, its just a website. go have a glass of water or something.
as for youre comments about education, well you can stick to your public library, will hunting, ill go and listen to and be educated by people who have read and learned from others and garner their perspectives on things, to broaden my view on a given text or line of thought, while you can feel all happy with your own measly, narrow point of view.
i was writing shit like this before i got educated. i didnt go and study to learn how to write, i went to learn how to think. something i dont believe you understand.
theres nothing pseudo about my intellectual tripe. it is pretentious, but anytime you talk about writing youre being pretentious, its just one of those things. the idea i was relating may seem 'big' to you, but thats because you dont have the slightest fucking clue of what youre talking about. i was talking about a common narrative tool - the use of 'person'. theres nothing 'big' about it, every text uses it. im sorry you didnt understand, but its ok, im sure youll pick it up at some point in one of all those free books you read.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-07-05 20:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-07-05 19:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
munkey, the use of 'i', 'you' and 'he', the shifting around of the use of narrative person is intended to relate his desire to shift the blame for the alldued-to act elsewhere, and make the allusion a bit more vague. sure you know hes somehow killed his mother, but its kinda not certain, like he doesnt want to even be certain that he did it. by changing around the narrative persopective it can be like it was someone else, in a schitzophrenic kind of way.
***
Monkey, this is psuedointellectual tripe aimed at making the author feel as if he actually had something worthy of writing in the first place. As his intention fails miserably, he seeks to cover his own ass with the excuse that maybe he took on too large of an idea for his own limited imagination. A more accurate reply from him would have been, I'll never write again, I'm a faggotized intellectual wanna be just looking for some pussy from whomever will charge me the least amount of money.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-07-05 20:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Typical response.
Why is it that intellectual elites seem to think that anything worth learning is worth paying sixty thousand dollars for? Used books cost less. Chomsky would tell you the same thing, and I'll bet you love that guy. Sorry, but your writing is absolutley devoid of anything remotley original.
And that's something all of those literature types won't tell you no matter how much of your mommy and daddy's money you spend on it.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-07-05 19:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bah, this is why yo udont write drunk. i constructed the solitaire game fucking backwards. queen goes on king, jack goes on queen. gah.
i didnt go to school to learn to write shit like this, i went for far more complex reasons. but its cute of you to think education can be that simple.
munkey, the use of 'i', 'you' and 'he', the shifting around of the use of narrative person is intended to relate his desire to shift the blame for the alldued-to act elsewhere, and make the allusion a bit more vague. sure you know hes somehow killed his mother, but its kinda not certain, like he doesnt want to even be certain that he did it. by changing around the narrative persopective it can be like it was someone else, in a schitzophrenic kind of way.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2007-07-05 17:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, this rocked... one of the best (and shortest) short stories I've read in a long time...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-05 15:23:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
was okay
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-07-05 15:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
christ thats uhhh.......I mean how can you?.......
remind me to never be your roommate
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-07-05 15:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2007-07-05 13:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it's cute that you go to school to write shit like this.
It's really paying off!
*
chuckles...
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2007-07-05 13:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Evil.
Deceiving.
Underhanded.
Snake like.
I like you.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-07-05 13:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-07-05 13:09:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't think of any good comments here but I want credit for reading this.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't enjoy the story all that much - but +2 for capitalization and punctuation alone.
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"The sound of the front door slamming sounded just like my King of Spades flicking down on the Queen of Diamonds, just like I planned it."
Horrible simile. the post was still better than anything I could come up with, though.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
MAMMY MAMMY!!! IT'S A BLITZKRIEG!!!
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked. I get the I's and you's but the first sentence has 'he'. I didn't get that.
Submitted by lover101 (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it's cute that you go to school to write shit like this.
It's really paying off!
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All things aside, I was into this one. I would have liked more content though, that's just me. Not exactly the elusive "great writing" you're always yammering on about this site lacking, but it doesn't have to be great to be enjoyable.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-07-05 12:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-07-05 11:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the drift between the "you's" and the "I's" is on purpose.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-07-05 11:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I,eh... I wasn't expecting that ending at all.
For some reason, I thought it was two guys speaking at first.
I've never played solitaire in my life. **runs away**
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-07-05 11:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Cement
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-07-05 11:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It sounds like your ma didn't really like you anyway, think of the insurance money though!
You also seem to play solitaire in a back to front way from me.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-07-05 11:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Comment, but not realy.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-07-05 11:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-07-05 11:39:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment