Paris Hilton and Me! (951 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.19 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sword (View user info) at 2007-06-04 22:23:26 EDT
Its morning and I only have a few minutes till I have to go. Just enough time to enjoy a couple bowls of cereal while I watch some T.V. and try to convince myself that I am awake enough to drive.
Where is the remote? Fuck it, I turn the T.V. on by hand, like a caveman. A commercial is on; commercials are nice, funny, short. I get myself a bowl of cereal, some milk and collapse on the couch. The commercials are over, this is bad.
A guy on the screen is talking "Why are we so obsessed with Paris Hilton?"
NO.
Frantically now I'm looking for the remote, it's nowhere to be seen. Should I get up? I'm so sleepy and there is a bowl of delicious cereal and milk in between me and the T.V...
Guy: "Paris Hilton has a lot to say about" something or other "but does anyone really care?" *Laugh track*
What the hell you asshat, you are reporting on this, NOBODY CARES BUT YOU!
Guy: "Sarah Silverman had something to say about Paris Hilton last night at" some type of music awards.
My eye catches it; it's not the remote, but its close enough. I lean over, arm fully extended and the tips of my fingers barely grasp the heel of my shoe. "Fly true my sweet missile" I say in blessing.
Aim. Careful. In my mind's eye the "Channel Down" button becomes a huge target, unmissible. I let fly.
Miss.
Back on the T.V. Sarah Silverman is doing standup. Comedians are funny, this could be good.
Silverman: "Paris Hilton is going to jail in a couple days" *Thunderous cheers and applause*
Then a shot of Paris Hilton shifting in her chair then back to guy for some more chatter about celebrities.
Now, I have opinions on basically everything I hear about and this case is no exception. I Know I implied I didn't care about Paris Hilton earlier, and to be honest I didn't until I watched that. It just struck me as so cruel to be making fun of someone's hardships, to be cheering at their suffering.
I served on a jury a while back where we sent a guy to jail for getting his third Felony DUI conviction in 6 years without a valid license. I felt the guy deserved what he got; he was a danger and a menace. Similarly Paris Hilton got the punishment she deserved.
Watching the guy though as the Judge read the verdict allowed though I didn't feel like cheering or laughing or clapping even though the Judge made almost the same joke Sarah Silverman did "You are about to go to jail" (the judge didn't say this of course, its just what our verdict meant).
The guy who I helped send to jail was a much bigger threat to the public safety then Paris Hilton, he drove with huge amounts of alcohol in his body and had gotten in terrible accidents and even robbed a convenience store and I still didn't feel like laughing about his upcoming jail time.
Paris Hilton going to jail has really opened my eyes to the huge number of jerks around me everyday. Feeling good about bad things happening to other people is a contemptible and evil feeling.
User Reviews
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-06-07 18:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not jealous of her, but I am happy that she got punished for the crimes she committed. It has nothing to do with envy; merely the satisfaction in knowing that the justice system somewhat works.
Her getting released to a house arrest though, that is pure bollocks. I'd think that preferrential treatment is unfair and I am envious about that. But never would I be envious of Paris Hilton herself.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-06-06 15:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2007-06-06 15:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, I didn't think you could get any dumber. How can I explain this to a retard.
You feel good about her having to go to jail because you are envious of her. Envy is bad. You are bad.
Understand now?
Yes, you are envious of her, she is wealthy and privileged therefore you dislike her. Envy.
You aren't even worth the air you breathe you disgusting sack of shit. I hope you get run over by a bus.
=========
If there is one thing I can do quite well it is impress people with my stupidity. I am in NO WAY envious of Paris Hilton. I would not like to be in the spotlight, or have a ghey buttsecks tape of me being downloaded on the internet. I would like her dads fortune but not hers...
The reason I disliker her is because she embodies all that I hate about pop culture wrapped up in one droopy cuntlipped package.
Why the hate? I mean, I enjoy it because I have no work to do but you really seem to loathe my very existence. Has noone ever disagreed with something you said before?
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2007-06-06 15:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, I didn't think you could get any dumber. How can I explain this to a retard.
You feel good about her having to go to jail because you are envious of her. Envy is bad. You are bad.
Understand now?
Yes, you are envious of her, she is wealthy and privileged therefore you dislike her. Envy.
You aren't even worth the air you breathe you disgusting sack of shit. I hope you get run over by a bus.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2007-06-06 14:33:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post made me want to kick a puppy.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-06-06 11:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I read your post and it was shit.
OH, btw, Envy: a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions
Envy is NOT laughing at some stupid bimbo who is going to jail for violating her probation. She IS getting special treatment, the wing of the jail she is in is reserved for celebrities. She doesn't have to interact with the general population of the jail and if she did and something happened to her I can GUARANTEE that daddy would sue someone and he would win. That is just how fucked up your judicial system is.
Your post was garbage, your response was worse and I am going to continue to laugh at the misfortunes of famous people who put themselves in the limelight and then fucked.
Now just STFU and get your facts from something other than MTV you useless cunt.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2007-06-06 04:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BobLobla
Hey dumbfuck,
never said she didn't deserve to go to jail or wasn't a menace, I'd advise you to reread what I rewrote but at this point it is painfully obvious you have the reading comprehension skills of an autistic chimpanzee.
I said it was cruel and that gloating about other people's misfortunes was the definition of envy and that envy is bad. Can I make it any clearer for you? I'm sure you are too retarded to realize your own inadequacy but, hating people because they have more then you is dumb. Thats what I wrote about, not Paris Hilton, Thanks for playing.
Finally I think you can rest assured that Paris Hilton did not get special treatment because the STATE OF CALIFORNIA was worried about her suing them. I wrote that in caps so you would see how dumb you were to have thought and wrote that. The state has a bit more authority money and influence over state judges then even the famed Ms. Hilton. Don't bother responding, as of this writing I will have assumed you choked to death on your own tongue, being stupid enough to swallow it.
P.S. Her sentence is average for someone who committed the crime she did, violating traffic laws while having below the legal limit in her system. Since you don't understand law or common sense I'll link you to somewhere where you can get an explanation. ===> http://www.google.com
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-06-06 01:53:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a more accurate title would have been "A News Report I Saw With Paris Hilton In It."
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-06-05 14:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-05 13:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-05 11:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I actually just read this.
what a pussy.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-06-05 11:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
First of all, STFU. I was only going to say that but this garbage pissed me off.
"I Know I implied I didn't care about Paris Hilton earlier, and to be honest I didn't until I watched that. It just struck me as so cruel to be making fun of someone's hardships, to be cheering at their suffering.
I served on a jury a while back where we sent a guy to jail for getting his third Felony DUI conviction in 6 years without a valid license. I felt the guy deserved what he got; he was a danger and a menace. Similarly Paris Hilton got the punishment she deserved."
WTF? Suffering? Punishment? 23 days in the special needs section of a minimum security prison for her 3rd moving violation in like 3 months? If that was me I would probably have gotten 6 months. You know why she is in the special needs section? Because the jail is afraid that if something happens to her they will get sued.
You think that Paris Hilton is not a danger and a menace? You are fucking deluded. If she got shanked in prison I would send the person that did it a large amount of money when they were released.
Lastly, Sarah Silverman if very funny, and the shit she said last night was freaking hysterical.
"To make her feel more at home the guards painted the bars to look like penises"
*pause for laughter*
"I am just worried she is going to break her teeth on them"
That is some funny shit, if you want to be in the spotlight all the time and you have made a living doing just that you should expect some criticism every once and a while.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-06-05 08:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
retard
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-05 07:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
allowed, aloud ....your choice.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-06-05 05:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It is a terrible shame when a society thinks a celebrity going to jail is more important then... well anything really.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-06-05 04:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so this paris hilton is not a hotel in france but an actually living entity.
i dont have a TV.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-06-05 03:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwkjeefUEes&mode=related&s%20earch=
I think Sarah Silverman really felt bad about the way the joke went over.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-06-05 03:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Fly true my sweet missile"
...
Made me laugh
+1 for that.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-06-05 01:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Where is the remote? Fuck it, I turn the T.V. on by hand, like a caveman.
Bad similie.
I also disagree with you.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-06-05 00:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the Amsterdam Hilton better.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-06-05 00:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Deserve...has nothing to do with anything.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-06-05 00:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I fucking love Paris Hilton. I would happily spend a weekend in Vegas with her, or in her with Vegas. She's so SEXY, and her face isn't standard beautiful, i think she's hot because of her sort of "naughty innocent" behaviour.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-06-04 23:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'M A BAD PERSON WITH AN UGLY HEART AND A FUCKED UP GRILL TO MATCH IT
WAAAAAAHHH
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-06-04 23:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
moo baby
i hope someone takes a picture of her crossing the yard as she holds the back pocket of a nigger
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-06-04 23:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No denial necessary, I'm totally jealous.
Also, I'm sick to death of seeing her face every time I turn on the television, check the news on CNN.com, or enter any public place.
Thanks for the gut-check though. You saw right through to the very core of me with that semi-grammatical response.
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2007-06-04 23:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeanneee
Thanks, this kind of childish envy is exactly what I was talking about and before you rush to defend yourself wanting people to lose what they have for no reason, other then that it would make you feel better, is the literal definition of envy.
Why would you want bad things to happen to her? Cause she has money she doesn't deserve? Did you deserve to be born in a developed nation, to parents who weren't starving to death or infected with HIV? No? We all get stuff we don't deserve, you shouldn't worry about whatever other people have, be concerned with yourself.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-06-04 23:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hopefully while Paris Hilton's in jail she will fall into a deep hole, even deeper than her own cavernous birth canal, so deep she can never, ever get out. And then everyone, including her immediate family, can move on with their lives and forget she ever existed.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-04 22:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
She won't get raped in there. They probably gave her a special cell, by herself, in a protected wing.
It'll be more like a mini-vacation for her.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-04 22:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Free Paris!
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-06-04 22:42:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just wait for the Paris Hilton Prison Rape video that will "leak".
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-04 22:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, but I'm contemptible and evil person.
PARIS HILTON GETTIN' RAPED IN JAIL!!! WHOOO!!!1!!!!one!!!!1