4 Humorous Bus-Related Anecdotes Which Have Occurred Within the Last Two Weeks (1269 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.4 on 58 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Thorpe (View user info) at 2007-04-26 03:23:45 EDT
1. I was at uni, talking to some people at the bus station. We were right at the front of the line and it was crowded, so I was stepping on and off the platform as we talked. All of a sudden someone yelled out "Hey Thorpe! The 302!".
Naturally I just kind of stood there and said "What?". Then there was a massive HONK from the bus which had stopped a couple of metres away. Apparently I hadn't heard it, and this was my friend's way of warning me. Not "Watch out!" or "The bus!" but "The 302!". Moron.
2. I was on a bus which stopped outside a school to pick up some schoolkids. There were two girls, who were either Korean or Japanese, who had kind of run after the bus after it was about to skip the stop. "You have to hail the bus" explained the busdriver as they got on. "You have to put your hands up", she continued to the two of them, but it didn't seem to be getting through. "Hands up!" she articulated clearly. A shocked look came over one the girls' faces. "Hands up?!?" she said, and looked around the bus for help.
3. I got on another bus in the afternoon and was faced with the situation where all the seats have one person sitting in them, so you have to choose the one stranger to sit next to. Of course you take a few steps up the aisle while you're still determining whether or not there are any free seats, but about a third of the way down generally you just sit down. I sat next to some guy who was reading a book. After about ten seconds, he put down his book, took a notepad and pen out of his bag, and started writing.
Because there was nothing else to look at, I subtly glanced at what he was writing, as you do. I wish I hadn't. 'Some guy just sat next to me on the bus. What a dick.' I couldn't believe it. It was all I could do not to start laughing, so I just tried to pretend I never saw it. Don't know what I would have said anyway.
4. Two women, 30-ish and slightly tipsy, were catching the bus back from the city the other night. Most of the seats were full again, so one sat next to me and the other next to the guy in front of me. As a joke the one who sat next to me goes "G'day gorgeous". Without skipping a beat I replied "Hello forthright". All I got was a confused stare.
User Reviews
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-05-17 01:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-05-17 15:06:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thorpe you have grown up.
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Thanks, sport.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-05-17 01:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thorpe you have grown up.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-05-04 09:01:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2007-05-04 14:24:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what a dick...
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*Main screen turn on*
IT'S YOU!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2007-05-04 00:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what a dick...
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-05-01 12:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because there was nothing else to look at, I subtly glanced at what he was writing, as you do. I wish I hadn't. 'Some guy just sat next to me on the bus. What a dick.'
Completely rawful.
I didn't get your joke in the fourth one.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-04-30 18:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY - DON'T MESS WITH THE RATINGS MAN, SOMEDAY I'M GONNA TURN MINE IN FOR THE SUPER SECRET DECODER RING.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-04-30 18:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a ONE!?!?!?!?
and ours probably IS excessive peanut butter. I'll send some. Said I would LOOOOOOONG time ago... still meaning to get to it...
It's a lil different.
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Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-30 18:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What do you mean, "almost" peanut butter?!
That is peanut butter!
By extension, I now consider YOUR peanut butter "excessive" peanut butter.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-04-26 22:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
like it says, Made me smile.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-04-26 20:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-04-26 19:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went back to the shithole town where i grew up for easter and the first experience i had ( a classic Armidale moment, if you ask me) was as follows.
I step out of my car to see an 80 year old woman shuffling along, quite oblivious to the world around her. 10 metres behind her, a fat aboriginal is standing over a sausage roll SCREAMING at the old lady.
"OY ya fucking cunt ya fukcing knoecked me sausage roll outta me hand. Yeh you ya fucking old cunt. Come and buy us a fucking sausage roll ya stupid cunt."
The old lady didnt respond. I ,laughed.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a joke the one who sat next to me goes "G'day gorgeous".
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Thorpe, she wanted to jump your bones - YOU'LL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN IF YOU KEEP THIS BAD ATTITUDE UP
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:41:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*confused stare*
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-26 14:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-04-26 12:01:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-04-26 11:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/101110
Trendsetter!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-04-26 11:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
far out.
though, the friend yelling about the 309 or whatever it was wasn't the real moron in the situation, it was the guy ACTUALLY STANDING IN FRONT OF AN ONCOMING BUS.
THAT guy was a fucking moron.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-26 10:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'Some guy just sat next to me on the bus. What a dick.'
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ahahahahahaha
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-04-26 10:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
does brisbane still have that free bus that all the homeless people ride/stink up
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and is worth a house costs 50$"""
OMFG! ESL SYNTAX!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:51:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the only thing i know about connecticut it's that its pale blue and is worth a house costs 50$
OHMYROFL! MONOPOLY REFERENCE!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
connecticut, home of dubbya and ann coulter! wtf!? u a skull & bones! omg! freemasons!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THAT'S THE POINT
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Without skipping a beat I replied "Hello forthright".
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This was really, really weak. At first I though there must be something I didn't get, then I realized it just sucked.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i'm in connecticut :p
and there were busses where my brother was living. i think there were also moose right outside city limits though.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i hate taking the bus.
===
there's no buses in vermont.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
of course, i don't even know what whimsical means.
now if u look at a globe, i am almost exactly on the opposite side of the planet from where u are so stop using my 1st name as if we were close and had sex last night.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTN: THE HUMOUR IN THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT CRAZY PUBLIC TRANSPORT PEOPLE
This reminds me of two great Williamson quotes:
"I just realised when I woke up that I was the crazy public transport guy last night"
"Getting pissed then waking up in strange places with no memory of how you got there is the most efficient form of transport possible".
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i hate taking the bus. full of mental patients, nutjobs, and scary people twice your age that smell and hit on you.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alain, you will never understand whimsical charm.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In Montreal in the span of one week, Caul? Okay okay, I know alot of weird shit happens in Montreal, but THAT MUCH?.... Goodness gracious. This is kind of discouraging me from going to the city. I'm gonna stay in MY town now, Caul. """
with its famous underground galleries, the metro becomes a place of choice for the homeless and scum in cold weather.
even though according to my friends, i seem to have a particular talent at attracting weirdos, that kind of crap happens daily in every city, especially very large ones like NYC...best circus ever.
there is a Train Tards article on the negativepositive.org website...it's pretty funny.
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
in my last week in montreal...
i saw a 40-ish years old give a beating to a 15 years old kid who was making graffitis on the metro.
i saw a mentally ill fuckhead yelling at a geriatric man, telling him to fuck off 'his train'.
or as i was reading my paper, when i changed page, i was greated by two blue eyes of a freak staring at me, 6 inches from my face...HEEELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! he said.
i was babysitting and i had to explain a 6 years that those weren't skinheads beating a nigger, they were just playing
even as i was about to embark on my rental car and leave the city, some asshole who had obviously been dropped by a girl or something started screaming at me incontrollably and incoherently.
those are common things in a city. as soon as daylight is out, weird shit happen.
you would have a lot of blog entries if u lived in detroit or nyc.
________________________________
In Montreal in the span of one week, Caul? Okay okay, I know alot of weird shit happens in Montreal, but THAT MUCH?.... Goodness gracious. This is kind of discouraging me from going to the city. I'm gonna stay in MY town now, Caul.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-26 09:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
in my last week in montreal...
i saw a 40-ish years old give a beating to a 15 years old kid who was making graffitis on the metro.
i saw a mentally ill fuckhead yelling at a geriatric man, telling him to fuck off 'his train'.
or as i was reading my paper, when i changed page, i was greated by two blue eyes of a freak staring at me, 6 inches from my face...HEEELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! he said.
i was babysitting and i had to explain a 6 years that those weren't skinheads beating a nigger, they were just playing
even as i was about to embark on my rental car and leave the city, some asshole who had obviously been dropped by a girl or something started screaming at me incontrollably and incoherently.
those are common things in a city. as soon as daylight is out, weird shit happen.
you would have a lot of blog entries if u lived in detroit or nyc.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-26 08:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, but these all happened in the last two weeks.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-26 08:58:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
that wasn't humorous at all, man
mass transit is a freak show and i'm a freak magnet.
i always end up with some schizophreniac talking to me while i try to hide behind my paper or some other fucked up situation.
nothing special there. you should see the NYC trains.
this was very meh
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-26 08:51:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-04-26 08:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck is Williamson? Is he suddenly too cool for the internet these days?
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-04-26 07:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I, too, am a patron of the buses. There's a bloke called Gigantor who regularly ensures he sits right next to Mildly Startled Girl whether there are free seats or not. Smells Like Wee Guy entertains us all with songs about girls being devils in dresses and randomly bursting out laughing. 50s Throwback Guy provides background music by tapping loudly to Loud Walkman Guy's loud walkman.
All is fun and games.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-04-26 06:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-26 06:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-04-26 08:28:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because there was nothing else to look at, I subtly glanced at what he was writing, as you do. I wish I hadn't. 'Some guy just sat next to me on the bus. What a dick.' I couldn't believe it. It was all I could do not to start laughing, so I just tried to pretend I never saw it. Don't know what I would have said anyway.
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You should have winked and made a kiss-kiss face at him.
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You should have got out your own pad and wrote in big letters:
"Target Acquired"
And then follow him all the way back to his house when he got off the bus.
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and then killed him.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-26 06:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-04-26 08:28:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because there was nothing else to look at, I subtly glanced at what he was writing, as you do. I wish I hadn't. 'Some guy just sat next to me on the bus. What a dick.' I couldn't believe it. It was all I could do not to start laughing, so I just tried to pretend I never saw it. Don't know what I would have said anyway.
--------
You should have winked and made a kiss-kiss face at him.
--------
You should have got out your own pad and wrote in big letters:
"Target Acquired"
And then follow him all the way back to his house when he got off the bus.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2007-04-26 05:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I gotta go. There's a guy next to me and he's watching me type, which is sorta starting to creep me out. Yes, guy next to me. I mean you.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yay
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Late ruling from the judges.
"How about those airline peanuts" is acceptable as more amusing than your post.
Good job, Thorpe!
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:49:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I laughed, but you just missed the deadline.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was taking a leak.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How about those airplane peanuts?
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll reset the clock.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was having dinner.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Two women, 30-ish and slightly tipsy, were catching the bus back from the city the other night. Most of the seats were full again, so one sat next to me and the other next to the guy in front of me. As a joke the one who sat next to me goes "G'day gorgeous". Without skipping a beat I replied "Hello forthright". All I got was a confused stare.
______________
You should of touched her foo foo.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-04-26 08:28:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because there was nothing else to look at, I subtly glanced at what he was writing, as you do. I wish I hadn't. 'Some guy just sat next to me on the bus. What a dick.' I couldn't believe it. It was all I could do not to start laughing, so I just tried to pretend I never saw it. Don't know what I would have said anyway.
--------
You should have winked and made a kiss-kiss face at him.
--------
You should have got out your own pad and wrote in big letters:
"Target Acquired"
And then follow him all the way back to his house when he got off the bus.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not to me, pal. This rating stays a 0, unless you make me laugh with a reply in the next two minutes.
Go.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They were all amusing.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#3 was amusing.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-04-26 03:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-04-26 03:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shenanigans:
http://www.wikipedia.org/brisbane_closes_public_transport_forever_due_to_canetoads_and_midstrength_beer
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-26 03:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tee hee.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-04-26 03:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because there was nothing else to look at, I subtly glanced at what he was writing, as you do. I wish I hadn't. 'Some guy just sat next to me on the bus. What a dick.' I couldn't believe it. It was all I could do not to start laughing, so I just tried to pretend I never saw it. Don't know what I would have said anyway.
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You should have winked and made a kiss-kiss face at him.