SUPA R3: Forgiveness (505 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ahumblefool (View user info) at 2007-04-24 12:55:08 EDT
Dedicated to someone on here who spoke kind words. You know who you are.
Forgiveness
I kneel before you
In need of your guidance
A brief understanding
A moment of ritual
Lord I have sinned
I have strayed from the flock
I have broken the commandments
My conscience awashed in guilt
Before I ask forgiveness
Before I ask pardon
Before I ask exoneration
I ask but for one question answered
You gave us your son
He died on a cross
He lived as a man
He felt our suffering
I have watched a child
Moaning in pain
Chemo eating his body
Death a slow arduous torture
I have watched a mother
Grieving in loss
Over children burned
Through no fault of their own
I have watched murderers
Smiling as they torment
Their victims over days
At a time, excruciating pain
I have watched villages
Swept away by waves
That had no warning
Destroying hundreds of thousands
I have watched brokenhearted
Families weep for the loss
Of loved ones shot
While living there lives
I have watched the suffering
I have watched the distress
I have watched the misery
I have watched the torment
You say we have free will
You say we have a choice
You say we have but to ask
And all will be forgiving
And so this old man asks
Dear Lord, through all the cruelty
Through all the affliction
Who should be kneeling, me or you?
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-26 08:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mad props to all Round 3 contestants. Best round of entries yet, lots of great reading!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-25 23:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I only have time to rate. All apologies. Comments to follow tomorrow. I suck, I blow, etc.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-25 14:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Mr_Burns (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:06:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would say you.
There's sentimental tribute, and there's just plain sickening.
Well written, just not to my taste.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-25 04:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great stuff...
But kind words on Uber?
I'd have to see it to believe it....
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-24 21:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-24 18:41:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
really enjoyable.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-04-24 17:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Totally suprised me.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-04-24 14:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-24 13:14:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The form may not be the greatest but this is very intense and unashamedly from the heart...so my rating is a +2.
Probably the only poem that I have truly FELT throughout this entire comp, aside from perhaps my round 1 entry (which doesn't count since I wrote it).
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-24 13:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There were kind words on ubersite?
I relate to this very much. I don't kneel to anyone.
Thanks for writing.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-04-24 13:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-04-24 13:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not your best so far, but I don't guess that matters
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2007-04-24 13:05:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BLACK PEOPLE LOL
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-24 13:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Glad you changed your mind, by the way.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-24 13:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the last line. That was fuckin' cool.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-24 13:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is this about that Shlongy mess?
haha
Just kidding.
A misspelling here and there. Better without the explanation.
Otherwise, pretty good.