Supervillain and Hero (1134 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.9 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spencer Thompson (View user info) at 2007-04-20 07:20:38 EDT
SUPERVILLAIN stands over the beaten HERO, his bloodied hands tied to a chair, looking up with insistent hatred.
SUPERVILLAIN: Looks like the end of the line for you, Hero.
Hero breathes heavily, his head bobbing and his eyes beginning to glaze over. Supervillain begins to pace the room, his starched white labcoat a beacon in the darkened room. He turns his back to the Hero, laughing softly in his victory.
SUPERVILLAIN: And here you are, powerless to stop my diabolical plan. You never had no idea the true scope of my diabolical plan. Just let me begin to tell you-
A gunshot is heard. Supervillain turns to see Hero dead in a pool of blood.
SUPERVILLAIN: Henchmen! Who shot him? C'mon, it was going to take five minutes, that's it! You couldn't have waited five minutes before you-
A door flings open, and a PLUCKY SIDEKICK enters the room with a gun drawn, accompanied by an ADORABLE DOG
PLUCKY SIDEKICK: Don't worry hero, I'm-... fuck. Fuck.
SUPERVILLAIN: Oh don't give me that look Henchmen.
---
SUPERVILLAIN stands over the beaten HERO, his bloodied hands tied to a chair, looking up with insistent hatred.
SUPERVILLAIN: Looks like the end of the line for you, Hero.
Hero breathes heavily, his head bobbing and his eyes beginning to glaze over. Supervillain begins to pace the room, his starched white labcoat a beacon in the darkened room. He turns his back to the Hero, laughing softly in his victory.
SUPERVILLAIN: And here you are, powerless to stop my diabolical plan. You never had no idea the true scope of my diabolical plan. Just let me begin to tell you-
A door flings open, and a PLUCKY SIDEKICK enters the room with a gun drawn, accompanied by an ADORABLE DOG. The plucky sidekick aims his gun at the Supervillain, and stands in front of the beaten but breathing Hero.
PLUCKY SIDEKICK: Not so fast Supervillain. You've underestimated the power of the Syndicate Guild again, and now-
Another door flies open, and a SCRAPPY SIDEKICKED enters the room accompanied by a LOVABLE DOG. He immediately shoots the Plucky Sidekick and his Adorable Dog.
Supervillain: You see something work enough times and eventually you adopt it for yourself.
---
SUPERVILLAIN stands over the beaten HERO, his bloodied hands tied to a chair, looking up with insistent hatred.
SUPERVILLAIN: Looks like the end of the line for you, Hero.
Hero breathes heavily, his head bobbing and his eyes beginning to glaze over. Supervillain begins to pace the room, his starched white labcoat a beacon in the darkened room. He turns his back to the Hero, laughing softly in his victory.
SUPERVILLAIN: And here you are, powerless to stop my diabolical plan. You never had a clue what I was up to, Hero. Did you?
He waits for the response, manipulating a few buttons on a cast control panel.
SUPERVILLAIN: Did you, Hero? He adjusts a dial and then, silence still, looks back at the bloodied figure. Hero? Hello?
A HENCHMAN runs up to the Hero, placing a few fingers under on his neck and checking his watch.
HENCHMAN 1: He's dead, sir. I'd guess it was a heart attack.
SUPERVILLAIN: You're kidding me. You're seriously fucking kidding me. He crawled through a swamp of alligators and lived in a save for three months to get here and now he dies, right before I get to tell him my diabolical plan? Right before I get to tell him my diabolical plan! Motherfucker has impeccable goddamn timing.
HENCHMAN 1: Did you tell him you killed his father?
SUPERVILLAIN: Motherfucker! I didn't even get to tell him I killed his father!
Another HENCHMAN steps forward, speaking nervously.
HENCHMAN 2: If you don't mind my saying, if there's an afterlife, most cultures believe that it is accompanied by a gaining of all possible knowledge. So theoretically, he does know your diabolical plan, and he does know you killed his father, because he's in heaven and has attained absolute intelligence.
SUPERVILLAIN: I hadn't thought of that.
HENCHMAN 1: I disagree, if there isn't an afterlife, as I don't believe there is, then death ends all consciousness and so even if you were to tell him your plan and that you killed his father, the moment he dies the consciousness required to appreciate either is gone. For all intents and purposes, it never happened.
HENCHMAN 2: Yeah, that's another way to look at it. I don't think there's very much middle ground either, it's one or the other.
SUPERVILLAIN: I hadn't thought about it that way, Henchmen. Thank you, you guys are always great at cheering me up like this.
He smiles, and leaves the room.
User Reviews
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-04-21 04:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I might do more of these. I like the idea of taking one general setup and realizing it in multiple ways.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-21 04:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*thumbs up*
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-04-21 04:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
8(
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-04-20 15:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2007-04-20 09:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M NOT SURE HOW SUPERVILLAIN CAN STILL BE SO HAPPY IN SCENARIO #3 AFTER HENCHMAN #2 COMES IN AND THROWS COLD WATER ALL OVER THE UPLIFTING PERSPECTIVE OF HENCHMAN #1! HOW CAN HE STILL BE HAPPY IF HE CHOSES TO GO WITH OPTION #2? THEN HERO NEVER KNEW OF HIS DIABOLICAL PLAN OR THE FACT THAT HE KILLED HERO'S FATHER! THIS LACK OF ATTENTION TO CONCEPTUAL DETAIL WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!
---
No, the idea is actually that it didn't matter whether Supervillain told Hero or not, because whether he did or didn't, the outcome was already inherent in the system. If there's an afterlife, then Hero will know about the plans and the death of his father whether Supervillain tells him or not. If there is no afterlife, then as soon as Hero dies he will no longer be of any consciousness and it would not have mattered whether or not Supervillain told him, because he'd be dead and no longer conscious of anything, even an afterlife.
So he's uplifted because that burden is lifted from his shoulders, a bit.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2007-04-20 15:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
$
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-20 10:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-04-20 10:12:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2007-04-20 09:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AND "INTENTS AND PURPOSES" IS ACTUALLY CORRECT. "INTENSIVE PURPOSES" IS NOT.
SOORY RAD. =(
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-04-20 09:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-01-13 09:26:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
A little gay but what the fuck do I care, I'm dating a stripper that likes to lick my asshole.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2007-04-20 09:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M NOT SURE HOW SUPERVILLAIN CAN STILL BE SO HAPPY IN SCENARIO #3 AFTER HENCHMAN #2 COMES IN AND THROWS COLD WATER ALL OVER THE UPLIFTING PERSPECTIVE OF HENCHMAN #1! HOW CAN HE STILL BE HAPPY IF HE CHOSES TO GO WITH OPTION #2? THEN HERO NEVER KNEW OF HIS DIABOLICAL PLAN OR THE FACT THAT HE KILLED HERO'S FATHER! THIS LACK OF ATTENTION TO CONCEPTUAL DETAIL WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!
-2 DIE!
Submitted by Draco (user info) at 2007-04-20 09:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-04-20 07:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehehehe I laughed quite a lot.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-20 08:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bosh
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-20 07:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-04-20 07:43:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EVERYONE KNOWS ITS INTENSIVE PURPOSES JESUS WHATS WRONG WITH YOU PPPL?!!21!
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-04-20 07:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-04-20 07:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehehehehe I laughed quite a lot.