Word to the Wise- Don't Gas Me or Anyone I Work With if You Aren't Ready to Accept the Consequences for Your Actions. (1727 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.81 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rad (View user info) at 2007-04-18 02:58:58 EDT
My teeth hurt. kinda sorta. Its like a dull throbbing desire to grind them together, the only thing I can think of close to this sensation in my mouth is to go out and do a bunch of coke then talk to everyone at the party because I am such an insanely terrific guy but I keep licking my lips and flexing my jaw/grinding my teeth so I go out to Fremont street and look for a black guy wearing a white T-shirt so I can score some rock then smoke it on some foil. Only after this, and this is the important part, after this can I go out to my nephew's baptism, where I am the Godfather, because the only way you are going to get me to go through that ritual is to get me coked out of my mind, and possibly drunk.
Either way, February saw me sober for 34 days, and after a brief relapse I think I'm going to do March too. Also, a decision was made to stop eating at any restaurant which has a window you could drive up to get your food. I think these things are going to work out pretty well. Also, regarding beer and nachos (which are fucking brilliant - extra jalapeños always of course) I had the opportunity to indulge is this last Thursday. A pint of IPA, you know - the microbrew stuff, and a plate of the nachos (extra jalapeños, like I need to tell you at this point). It was gross. I don't think I could bring myself to eat anymore for a long time, and this beer I could barely finish. Mind you I was drinking growlers of this stuff but now yuck.
March and what has been April so far has seen me back to my old game, you know, the one where you can go out all week, take a week or two off the job sick because of benders - I mean, nothin like when we were kids but hey, thirty is almost upon us (and has already gotten some of us) so its time to calm down a bit methinks. Because of what happened to me last September with the "home invader" I had (not a good idea to be strung out because of an auto buglary and then have some utility worker in your backyard climbing poles) and me absconding into Oregon for a week because I really didn't feel like going to jail. I'm pretty sure the statute of limitations will run out by 2010, and I just have to lay low until then. Gosh, I sure wish I could explain to her this is the reason I can't go out looking for work these days; this is the reason I cannot uproot our young family and take us out to Texas.
I mean, for fuck's sake, Texas? The only thing I ever saw in Texas was steers and queers. I do suppose the chili con carne was decent, but holy hell, who really makes the decision to make this move. Suppose your partner came home one night and told you they wanted to move from the fastest growing and one of the richest counties in the country and live where a tornado can fly a cow into your single wide? No thank you ma'am. I have lived my entire life trying to escape the stigma of growing up poor and white, and there is no way in fucking hell that I am going to subject my unborn child to a region of the country where the mullet to white trash ratio is somewhat akin to the slot machine to citizen ratio we enjoy right here, in our hometown. And no, the crappy school system or health system we have here is no reason to move. We can make this work.
I think that perhaps I made a bunch of mistakes and didn't really realize what the consequences were going to be. I look back upon my life and see that I was a bystander to all of the important things that ever happened to me, mainly because I didn't want the headache of actually standing for something. Ironic that now, later, I want nothing more than to be counted for something, to take control of my life, and I cannot because of the responsibilities I now have to my wife and kid. It really wouldn't be that bad if they would just acquiesce to me and my demands once in a fucking while. I mean, I have it set up so she doesn't have to work if she doesn't want to (and she doesn't. She likes the idea of being able to stay at home and raise our child). What is so hard to just give me some idea of authority in my own house, no matter how false it really is? These are the kinds of things that leads to children who grow up to hate their dad because dad lives in his mistress's apartment and leaves messages on mommy's machine telling her how much of a bitch she is (I don't think I will ever get that out of my memory. childhood is so fragile, and causes the scars to run deep)
Given the situation of things, it might be wiser to hope that the inmate who got me last week managed to infect me with something. It set up my kid to succeed, and put me out of my misery. Just lemme make sure I get some retribution from the fucker first.
Jus' Sayin'
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-20 15:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by keitsith (user info) at 2007-11-20 14:43:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ur obviously taking gay pills
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-20 15:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spicy Tuna Sashimi.
Every. Single. Time.
But good LORD is it worth it. mmmmmmm....
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-20 15:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmmm, sushi never gave me gas.
i think you have a gastrointestinal issue that a qualified professional should examine.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-20 14:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yup.
Sushi last night.
It ain't purdy.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-20 14:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is that so, robert?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-20 14:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have gas.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-20 14:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so...are you at 16 posts yet rad?
i think i've hit maybe 19 now.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd say "lol" but I'm not that kind of guy. I'm not that fucking guy, got it?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey - Anyone wanna give me $2,000 for closing costs on the house I'm trying to buy?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-18 15:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what happened to the tender young lad who sprayed his jizz all over the backstage in the Drama department - WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM
Submitted by MidnightToSix (user info) at 2007-04-18 15:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Haha you're old.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-04-18 12:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.."thirty is almost upon us (and has already gotten some of us) "
HEY!
Submitted by Nugk (user info) at 2007-04-18 11:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Grow a pair and quit being so damn reactive. Take charge man.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2007-04-18 11:03:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you don't mean the inmate "got you" in the soap on a rope sense
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-04-18 04:57:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stop feeling sorry for yourself and get the ball rolling with the budhist monk prison scheme
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-04-18 04:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Rad....
why?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-04-18 04:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did it for the lulz
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-18 08:45:11 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
No shandy, this is a modernized classic, a brilliant new adaptation which makes for an entirely new experience.
-----------------
Ha!
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
texas is great
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No shandy, this is a modernized classic, a brilliant new adaptation which makes for an entirely new experience.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you are an old crony
and this is a repeat
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that talk is anti semetical
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll gas you and your entire sub-species
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have watched Debbie Does Dallas with every girl I have ever loved. And all of those times it was their copy.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
34 days?
Shit.
I managed to go a week without booze after New Year's Eve. I thought I was a fucking hero.
Dark days they were, dark days indeed.
Fair play if you can keep it up.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
plus my penis is the giver of life.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your friends are idiots.
Girls are idiots too sometimes.
However, my wife encourages my porn intake which pretty much makes her cooler than almost every other girl in the world.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In other news, my friend just broke up with his girlfriend because she went through his computer and found porn. Gotta love causing a big scene and complaining about it to his mother.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
some of the details may have been exaggerated slightly.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't let her bully you into moving
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:16:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
word to the wise: i don't read posts anymore.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How long til someone oes this post with a picture of a nazi camp?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn