SUPA Round 1 - "The Reasons Why I Love Sluts" (1716 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 1.41 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JoeyG (View user info) at 2007-04-06 07:43:53 EDT
O, girl how do I love you? O, let me count the ways,
The first is with my many splendoured fine seminal sprays;
That feeling when I wake each morn, when I'm inside your throat,
It really is fantastic, girl, so bitch don't rock the boat.
The second is the way the sun reflects upon your hair,
And those times you let me go to work wearing your underwear.
It's strictly just a comfort thing, although I must confess,
I'd love to fuck you rotten, baby, in your satin dress.
The third's the way you know my love for you is absolute,
Even after you found me in bed with that prostitute.
I told you that I'd change the sheets, once I was good and done,
I even let you stay and watch, as I slipped her the toungue.
The fourth way that I showed you, when we were in Bordeaux,
Sipping on wine while we were doing amateur porno,
You know I love to watch ourselves, that footage on the tape,
The scene where I came on you in that faux unscripted rape.
The fifth way that I love you, it really is quite clear,
You really do not mind it, when I stick it in your ear.
The other girls complained that this was well and truly sick,
and that I should be castrated, or even in the nick.
It's six months since the accident, that night you went through hell,
But the mortician did a good job, he mummified you well.
The certificate said cause of death was your internal bleeding,
But we both know better, baby, that's really quite misleading.
I don't know why I hit you, and put you in that sack,
That night we start fighting after you answered me back;
You really should have listened, girl, you really should have done,
Coz now you're part of my harem, you're part of all the fun.
With Lucy and Sarah and Mary and Jane,
Jessica and Harriot, Susannah and Elaine,
Welcome to my cellar room, it really is quite cosy,
Look around the room, my dear, now doesn't this seem rosy?
They say that necrophilia is something quite disturbing,
But I'd beg to differ, baby, and even change the wording;
There's something quite refreshing, about the female dead,
They never question where you are, and even give good head.
They never shout, they never scream, they don't get PMT,
They don't go through your mobile phone, so why can't people see?
I really can't see how what I do could be called a crime,
You see, my deadly lovelies, I'd pick you every time.
User Reviews
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-12 03:00:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-12 04:52:38 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-08 20:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks to all for the feedback.... this kind of thing isn't my strong point. I thought meter was what I read my gas reading from.
I only enetered coz I was half drunk and thought "well, how hard can it be?"
========
FUCKING HARD
That's how hard.
-------
Amen to that.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-08 20:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks to all for the feedback.... this kind of thing isn't my strong point. I thought meter was what I read my gas reading from.
I only enetered coz I was half drunk and thought "well, how hard can it be?"
========
FUCKING HARD
That's how hard.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-10 21:33:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Work on your rhythm a bit, and you could be good at this.
---
This is absolutely true. And essential.
The rhymes aren't enough here, nor is the content. Learn to make them run into one another and bleed together on the page and you've got something special.
This is going to make me sound incredibly full of myself, but I don't care - this reads like something I'd have written my first year here. You've got a solid blue fucked up streak in you, boy. And I dig it.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-11 17:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-10 21:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5
I'm American..does PMT=PMS?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-10 21:33:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Work on your rhythm a bit, and you could be good at this.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-10 18:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck to all contestants.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-09 09:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-08 06:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks to all for the feedback.... this kind of thing isn't my strong point. I thought meter was what I read my gas reading from.
I only enetered coz I was half drunk and thought "well, how hard can it be?"
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-04-06 15:13:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You win.
I have way too many retards as enemies to even hope to enter a contest under this account.
Submitted by ThatsGodToYouBitches (user info) at 2007-04-06 14:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't really like the setup, but have a +2 as I too share your love for sluts.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-04-06 13:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll agree with the folks below that there was a dire need for better flow, here.
Still pretty great.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-04-06 13:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-06 13:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
janx-worthy
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-04-06 12:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PMT? Is that a Britisher thing?
Very entertaining nonetheless. I agree with CT's comments though.
This is a solid 1.5, but I'll round up.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-06 11:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69454
Speaking of sluts...
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-06 11:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny stuff, but Captain Thorns is right.
The meter really needs to be perfect for one of these.
The inconsistent syllable count kept killing my erection.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2007-04-06 10:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-06 10:49:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now it's customary to reciprocate +2's to the person who gave them to you....especially when said +2 giver needs all he can get.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-06 09:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So a 1.5 is your score from me. Best of luck mate.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-06 09:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of the rhymes and metre were awkward, and for a poem that is clearly making an attempt to utilise consistent rhyme and metre, I found that a bit distracting.
Still, it was entertaining.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-04-06 07:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ooh ooh, i got one!
i slip into the mortuary to fiddle with the dead
thier cold gray flesh turns my flesh all red
i dont care how she died
as long as she smells like formaldehyde
i wanna fuck, i wanna fuck
the dead
very nice.