SUPA: Shocks R US (638 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 1.21 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by NoMeD (View user info) at 2007-04-05 14:38:47 EDT
I pull out a book, close up the lockers,
sneak one more look, at Katie Mae's knockers.
Tonight is the night, I know i'll get laid,
All the hard work, grants me finally paid.
Collect her at eight, finalize plans,
double checking, thems mighty fine cans.
Off to my house, my kingdom, my palace,
first comes the warm up, a vibrating phallus.
A moan then a scream, alls heating up,
two in the pink, and one in her butt?
This bitch maybe off her rocker,
screaming something bout' a shocker.
A cold draft, creeps onto my ass,
making my balls shrival,
interupting the task.
I look to see, who has intruded
Tis not but a busty redhead,
who wants included.
Damn, who am I to say no?
Who the hell would'nt want a go?
Walking over, she morphs into Satan,
Forcefully saying, its time to fry bacon.
I screech like a banshee, fear for my boys,
Look for a wepone, before Satan destroys.
Up with the quickness, over the bed I jumped,
This ass is one, that'll never get humped.
Sitting up straight, alone in my room,
There is no way, I will sleep after shrooms.
The terror remains, the feeling so real,
Satan cackles behind me, sayin,
some souls are a steal.
User Reviews
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-11 19:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bravo for attempting the style/meter, very challenging.
I agree with some of the comments below.
The rhyming on some of the words, and the random content, seemed forced.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-11 16:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 12:10:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The rhythm was odd and it could use a spellcheck, but I thought it was funny.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2007-04-11 01:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-10 18:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck to all contestants.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-09 23:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good shit, dude. Maybe someday we will meet in an anonymous contest where folks don't know our names....
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-08 16:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very enjoyable!
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-08 16:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.75
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-08 16:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-08 16:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ok, ok.
I've dished out +2's for some of these, and I really want to do the same here.
But, after reading a few, I feel I can't do it now.
It just felt a little bit like a nursery rhyme format, which the others didn't have.
Submitted by ThatsGodToYouBitches (user info) at 2007-04-06 14:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't like the way this flowed, and the content was a bit strange at times, but have a +1 for effort
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-04-06 13:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry, okay... well honestly the subject didn't entice me (and rhyming Satan with bacon...?) but have a +1 for the poem, anyway.
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-06 13:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO COMMENT sucks.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-04-06 13:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-04-06 09:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2007-04-06 05:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-04-05 22:18:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-05 16:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This contest is also a sure fire average hit killer.
No one, including some of if not MOST of the contestants, really gives a shit.
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-05 14:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SHITFUCKDAMN, It was either satan or a $$ shot.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-05 14:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-05 14:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm taking a half point off because of shrivel and weapon...and the overall scheme didn't do it for me.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-05 14:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I enjoyed this but it was terribly written.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-05 14:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Likes
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-05 14:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And THAT is how poetry is done.