Word Bucket Challenge 1 (An Appetizer from your local SUPA Kitchen) (1075 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.11 on 55 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (View user info) at 2007-04-02 20:01:25 EDT
Here's how it works.
1) You take these words: anthropologist, gambler, pike, duration, multiplicity, cubist, substitutions, librarian, cash cow, cruel, artillery, porcelain, & apocalyptic,
2) write a poem or short story using all of them,
3) and post it in a review below.
If you can't be arsed to participate, maybe just drop a word or two in the reviews, in case self-delusion or public interest warrant making a part 2 (commence holding of breath).
THE GOAL is to be as concise as possible, and to use the words effortlessly in a consistent theme. Don't force them.
I got (i.e., stole) the idea from a local Ohio publishing house, who kept a jar of words in their office. People would submit their favorite words, to be taken out at random for exercises during writing workshops. This list was one of theirs.
My entry is below.
But DON'T look at mine until you write yours. You don't want to be influenced by my ramblings, do you?
DO YOU? If so, why did you stop taking your meds?
.
.
.
.
War is a cash cow:
The longer the duration, the more the production
The likes of those involved: gamblers
With multiplicity of mind
Porcelain-faced soldiers, a dozen per dime
Librarians left to offer, what anthropologists uncover
To make sense, through the centuries
Of cruel tyrants with apocalyptic sentiments
Fighting for selfish pride
Exploiting angles for destruction
That cubists find hard to find
Making medieval to modern substitutions:
Pikes for heavy artillery, amongst the list
Of reasons for pacifism
If war wasn't, at times, necessary
User Reviews
Submitted by Poopy_Butt_Johnson (user info) at 2007-04-13 09:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A little longer than others. Fun excercise.
Here's my run at it.
Once the cruel reality of ever being able to look at her again "that way" set in, he retired to his usual daily routines. They had worked so far, so he saw no reason to change.
"...Keep busy, don't think about it."
However, getting back to those things weren't going to be as easy as the day before. The sight of her soft, light colored skin being violently pressed against that cold porcelain could never again leave his thoughts. The cocky librarian who has mocked him so many times before has now managed to soil the only good thing that ever came through the doors.
Over the next couple of weeks, he searched for acceptable substitutions to help him get over her. Just someone to turn his eye away from the purity of her scarlet flowing hair. Not really considering himself as an informed gambler, it took very little calculating to know that no one else would suffice. The duration of her visits continued as torture to his existence. Who could pose as a replacement to someone as unique as this?
Weeks before, he contemplated in his mind to speak to her. Her favorite sections have always been in, or around, the abstract. He remembered a glance she gave him once. In his mind, he felt something special was shared. The daily reliving of that moment often found the two of them in a cozy corner of the library critiquing the cubist work on the wall above them, or entering deep discussions regarding the human condition. (The fact of the matter was, she was an anthropologist student who would have most likely ended up studying him rather than the above-mentioned.)
It was during of one of his typical afternoon duties when he found himself alone in a room with the very person who crashed his psuedo-world. Not just any room though. The same exact one where the crime was committed.
Gripping his mop tightly, he paused to imagine the apocalyptic damage he could inflict upon this useless soul. How easily he could use this instrument bored him to wander further into this fantasy. Perhaps the pike-shaped door stop could prove to be the proper artillery for the job. "How long would it take for someone to find the body?", and more directly related to the immediate dynamic, he humored to himself "who would have to clean up the mess?" The excitement and multiplicity of the situation caused him to hesitate beyond the fantasied moment. The guilty party finished his business and again, it seemed the enemy had won.
Dragging himself home that evening, defeated bones and wandering mind, he realized the familiarity of the situation. Why should he care about some useless girl's business again? Especially one who he had never formally met. Looking into his mailbox, he pulled an all-to-familiar court appointed letter from it. This particular restraining order had never fazed him before, especially in this state. In a brief moment of reflection, he clearly identified with the circulating affair of it all. "When would I meet someone as special as I am" he thought. And then another routine came to mind. The kind that comforted him the most.
Sitting in that dark corner always soothed these thoughts. No one to judge, no one to point. The red lighting and the cracked vinyl chair brought back his usual comfort- level of confidence. She was a working girl, but it didn't matter. She was his cash cow of unfinished feelings. His money was green and her hair was just as scarlet.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-04-04 03:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm being staliked on the internet by a -2 bombing faggot paul_anthony (alias lukecart)
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-04-03 11:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I reckon Thorny wins simply for his use of the word "Cervix" in a poem.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-03 11:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
RE: Anna Nicole
In addition to traces of methadone, examiners also found- Chloral hydrate, Diphendydramine, Clonazepam, Diazepham, Nodiazepam, Tamazepam, Lorazepam, & Oxazepam.
"Chloral hydrate is typically used in hospitals for pre and postsurgery patients who can't sleep or are in great pain. Ironically, this is also what killed Anna Nicole's hero, Marilyn Monroe."
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-03 11:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ichthyoid poet below.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-04-03 10:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One day a Pike, most cruel of the fishes
Did daydream and began to ponder
"Freshwater" said he "Is just delicious,
But that fresh air it makes me wonder"
"I'd like to walk, for some duration
Among the grass of the upper world
And see some more of God's creation
The multiplicity of life unfurled"
And think on did he, this Osteichthye,
This apocalyptic predator of newts and frogs
Of being a librarian, gambler, a bourgeoisie
Would he be a keeper of cats or a lover of dogs?
"To walk as a man" thought the beast
"I would need to make some substitutions,
Gills for lungs for one lest I become deceased,
And for walking why legs are the solution."
But his knowledge was limited you see
This fish anthropologist
Dreams like fine porcelain shattered by reality
The evil artillery of the biologist
Not for him the Orphist or the Cubist
No future for him he lived in the now
For the humans he admired in his daydreamed tryst
Saw him as no more than a fishing cash cow.
Notes:
Osteichthye (ostee-ik-thee) a bony fish
Orphism is a type of Cubism
This was fun
I failed at the concise part
Poems aboot fish? I need help.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-03 10:18:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nautipod.
God damn it, I thought I invented this word, but it turns out it's this race of sea creature in some idiotic fantasy D&D-type game.
Fucking stupid nerds!!!! I was all ready to write webster.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-03 09:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The hardest word to use by far was "anthropologist", in my opinion. But maybe that's just because of the poetry form that I chose to use.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-03 09:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Re-post of corrected version:
A Short and Sordid Limericke Tale:
A young cubist gambler most gay,
Stumbled into a bar just to say:
"Please don't think me most cryptic if I'm apocalyptic,
As I've been forced to fold thrice today."
At the end of a bar sat a dyke,
Eating pretzels with some chap named Mike.
With a turn of the head to the gambler, she said:
"See my cervix? Probe THAT with your pike!"
'Twas an offer he just couldn't flee,
But first had to relieve all his pee.
After two hours duration, she commenced masturbation
Using porcelain artillery.
Minutes later, she started to cry:
"Substitutions just don't satisfy!"
So she fucked two librarians, Conan the Barbarian,
Anthropologists, and some blonde guy.
'Twas a night for this gal that became
Multipicity money shot fame;
It was quite the cash cow,
And the porn stars now bow
To the cruel girl that no one could tame.
~ R.I.P. Anna Nicole Smith ~
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-03 09:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK! I forgot the word "cruel!"
Officially changing my last line as follows:
"To the cruel girl that no one could tame."
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-03 09:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-03 09:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's true. I love pretzels.
--------------
*snorts*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-03 09:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's true. I love pretzels.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-03 09:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A Short and Sordid Limericke Tale:
A young cubist gambler most gay,
Stumbled into a bar just to say:
"Please don't think me most cryptic if I'm apocalyptic,
As I've been forced to fold thrice today."
At the end of a bar sat a dyke,
Eating pretzels with some chap named Mike.
With a turn of the head to the gambler, she said:
"See my cervix? Probe THAT with your pike!"
'Twas an offer he just couldn't flee,
But first had to relieve all his pee.
After two hours duration, she commenced masturbation
Using porcelain artillery.
Minutes later, she started to cry:
"Substitutions just don't satisfy!"
So she fucked two librarians, Conan the Barbarian,
Anthropologists, and some blonde guy.
'Twas a night for this gal that became
Multipicity money shot fame;
It was quite the cash cow,
And the porn stars now bow
To the bisexual no one could tame.
~ R.I.P. Anna Nicole Smith ~
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-03 06:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Title.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-04-03 03:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
paul_anthony is a retaliatory -2 bombing faggot
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-03 00:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Saccy,
I'll take your implied reference to O's ESP that you had an O...
Wait, I'll leave it implied.
And yes, you could review more. Just go "Zebra" on it.
-TJslaw
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2007-04-03 00:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i tried so hard
*weeps*
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-03 00:27:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, O has ESP.
Also, could I review this post any more?
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-03 00:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and,
Shlongy:
peanut, butter, fiberglass, & burrito have all been added to the next (possible) Word Bucket 2.0.
So, thanks Mr. Boyd.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-03 00:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHOA I have ESPN!
Who's TJ? I don't know no TJ. I thought your name was Cole Slaw. Cole. Slaw.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2007-04-03 00:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This bed is on fire with passionate love!
The neighbors complain about the noises above!
But she only cuuuuumms when she's on top!
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-03 00:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Boom!
Talent du jour, given the hors d'oeuvre, as I suspected, BELOW.
beeltea,
"for the cubist-seeing nautipod" was very funny.
gofer,
"the porcelain artillery" line was well-timed and well-played, my friend. Good shit.
Lishy,
nice TJ reference (& my mom DID actually leave my dad for a woman... very prophetic).
Though, my name's not really TJ either.
O-man,
Of anyone I thought you'd use words that would make me double-check the list, only to find that they weren't on there (though they seem from the writing like they should be). Plowshare & covenant made me scroll back up. That's a nice touch for a challenge like this.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aaaaaaaaaand I'm guessing that's what she's up to now.
I'm out. Cool idea, C_M. You should bust this out every now and again.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Only comes when she's on top like that song Laid below.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man below Lishy below.
Like, underneath below.
As in I'm above man below.
Like on top of man below.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Continuing to say she's not saying anything below.
In dire need of a flesh pacifier below.
Lishy below.
Below.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I DID, I JUST SAID THAT.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh hush.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was all I could do not to say anything.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just like the part where I cheated with a comma.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"May you melt into me and stare breathless and
At ease into the apocalyptic promise
Of tomorrow."
===
<3
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SPECIALk, you should join SUPA.
That was awesome.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
April, as they say, is cruel,
Its blooming hours a storm of substitutions:
Comes a plowshare, goes a pike,
The water war with its artillery rain
Shelling the sunsoaked, simple earth
And sloughing off the dead with the
Promise of new life; death in the duration,
Multiplicity of birth in its wake.
April is a gambler; we, its dice.
If love would prove as uncertain,
Make of your heart an anthropologist,
Trace this love of mine back to some
Forgotten, muddy riverbed, to our first
Home; and if love would prove as chaotic,
A librarian will you become, to catalogue
And collect me and steady my soul;
Map this body, cast me in porcelain for
Worship, use me as your own, mint me
To currency, cash, cow idol and covenant
Form with my burning heart.
And in this cubist nightmare of April,
With its fractured fingers and death mystery,
May you melt into me and stare breathless and
At ease into the apocalyptic promise
Of tomorrow.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2007-04-02 23:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
oh porcelain throne,
you are cruel
and your cubist design
makes me shiver and...
vomit
i'm no anthropologist
but that librarian
IS A WHORE
I'm no gambler
but i felt like one
speeding down the pike
for the duration
of that apocalyptic day
artillery in hand
no substitutions
and a multiplicity of reasons
you were the (cash) COW
I hit with my car
(I'm not sorry)
ahem.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-02 22:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok,
See I tried something but then decided to peek at what you and the other people had tried...
...and good jumpin' green jesus christ you folks are talented.
So, um... here is my official encouragement for more of this - if not my participation.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 22:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know but I bet she was drinking AND trying to get in your pants even though you live in AU and she lives in my apartment.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-02 22:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Apparently I make the rest of you look bad though. Who said that, I wonder?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 22:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SHUT UP STAGGER_LEE YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF US
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-02 22:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Axolotl wins.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-04-02 22:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
An anthropologist raped a gambler with a pike for a certain duration, the multiplicity of which inhabited a cubist structure in time. The gambler did the same later a librarian and a cash cow, using subsitutions of cruel artillery-blasted apocalyptic porcelain/
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 21:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed substitutions, too. F.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-04-02 21:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 21:20:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh damn..concise?
I missed that part.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-02 21:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oops always forget the rating part
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-02 21:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I went fishing with this anthropologist the other day, and she hooked a ferocious pike. After struggling with it for several minutes (the duration of which seemed to last as long as a multiplicity of librarian trying to quiet an artillery battalion) she managed to turn it into the proverbial dinner cash cow. This anthropologist was no fisherman though, and I hope it didn't seem apocalyptic for the cubist-seeing (after all, fish have compound eyes) nautipod; embroiled in a cruel struggle with my porcelein- veneered anthropologist friend.
After a long battle, my anthropologist friend realized there are no substitutions for GAMBLER! brand (tm) bass lures.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 21:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TJ was a gambler, just like his mom, and her mom before her.
No, there were no anthropologists in TJ's family.
It's not as if they were cruel. But all he learned from them could be demonstrated with a deck of cards, a thumb with which to hitchhike down the pike, a bottle, and a prayer to the porcelain god.
Daddy was always looking for a crooked cash cow. The sheer multiplicity of his ideas was impressive, and when he'd go on and on about them in his loud, crude manner, it felt like being hit in the head with heavy artillery for the duration of his rants.
But then, he ran away with that cubist lady. She wasn't an artist, no..but her square head and cockeyed stare made her look like a Picasso.
Mom acted as if it was an apocalyptic disaster when Dad left, but she wasn't fooling anyone.
The next week, she ran off with the town librarian. It didn't surprise anyone, because everyone knew Mom was a lesbian.
TJ attended their lesbian wedding, which, unsurprisingly, was held in Atlantic City.
The end.
...I'd like my Electro Award now please.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 21:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, gofer..you're good.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-04-02 20:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She is a cruel librarian, she-
stunningly cubist,
just like Picasso's guitar.
She is here for the duration,
steadfast with all the apocalyptic
determination of a blank-faced gambler,
digging his pike into the belly of his cash cow,
or a stone-blooded anthropologist
clutching the bones of some long dead
beast of burden or terror,
and all the multiplicity, the repetitions
and substitutions of her library,
are as meaningless and non-threatening
to her as porcelain artillery.
She will smile when sees you,
but she won't mean it;
behind her back her fingers cross,
and behind yours there is almost certainly
a very shiny knife.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-04-02 20:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
anthropologist, gambler, pike, duration, multiplicity, cubist, substitutions, librarian, cash cow, cruel, artillery, porcelain, & apocalyptic
--------
An anthropologist and a gambler walk into a bar. The anthropologist says, "The apolcalyptic multiplicity of the porcelain artillery in this place is one of a series of imperfect substitutions for the cruel duration of the proverbial cash cow."
The gambler starts to reply, but before he can say a word a librarian walks up says, "Worst english evar!" and sticks a pike in the anthropologist's eye.
Teh end.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-02 20:51:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll have a peanut butter and fiberglass burrito, please.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-02 20:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*commence argument with ampersand*
*call him the progeny of a wild boar and his actual mother*
*question who was more disgusting, the boar or the mother*
*imply that it's a toss-up, really*
*continue argument, using asterisk-laden action phrases*
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2007-04-02 20:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
that was aimed at the poster not sac
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2007-04-02 20:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
your entry is absolute bullshit and so is your face
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 20:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
p.s.- I'm an asshole because I'm not talented enough to work within the guidelines set forth.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-02 20:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
War is a cash cow:
The longer the duration, the more the production
The likes of those involved: gamblers
With multiplicity of mind
Porcelain-faced soldiers, a dozen per dime
Librarians left to offer, what anthropologists uncover
To make sense, through the centuries
Of cruel tyrants with apocalyptic sentiments
Fighting for selfish pride
Exploiting angles for destruction
That cubists find hard to find
Making medieval to modern substitutions:
Pikes for heavy artillery, amongst the list
Of reasons for pacifism
If war wasn't, at times, necessary
===
WHAT DO I WIN?!